Masthead header

If My Dog Could Talk …

I’d be mortified. Or in jail. She would gladly share my dress size, the fact that I have chin hairs, that I’m an easy drunk (one glass of wine and I’m ready for a nap), how I talk (yell) at the television when watching the nightly news, that I eat in bed, my opinion on […]

View full post »

Carolyn Durandette - I love this…I only wish that I could understand my little guy as well. I think he is much more interested in other dogs, squirrels, treats and getting petted.

Jacqueline Wolven - Have you read Sam Harris’s book Lying? I’m reading it right now and I think you would REALLY like it! I love this: how I talk (yell) at the television when watching the nightly news… me too!

Joan Cooper - Interesting word – “If”

I think, with your gift for words you should do a whole blog on the word – “If”


Carol Cassara - If Riley could talk? I shudder to think.
Carol Cassara recently posted..What Fashion Week is really likeMy Profile

Tammy - Cool idea, Joan. So many of us have lived our lives based on the word “if”. I’ll give it some thought! Thanks for being here!

Its All About The Yummy - I can only imagine what my Biscotti might have to say. How fun would that be?

Tammy - My point exactly, Carol! Talk about not being able to show your face in public! Haaa! Appreciate the read and the comment!

Ruth Curran - I love to believe the world could use this brand of honesty, sanity, and calm (not so sure about the Milk Bones). The things we confide and the unconditional affection that makes us vulnerable…. Spooky! Wonderful post!

Marilyn Rich Tichauer - I enjoy your humor and honesty so much!!! Keep it up, we love you!!

Cheryl Nicholl - I LOVE this!!! It’s so true that the way an animal experiences life is wonderful and peaceful and simple. And I agree that there are two sides to everyone- the public and the private, the commendable and the regrettable, but I think there’s a reason we’re not like our pets, or we might all still be living in caves. Actually- that might not be so bad.
Cheryl Nicholl recently posted..From BLAH to BEAUTIFUL: Ten Ways To Transform Your Grown Kid’s First ApartmentMy Profile

Tammy - Cheryl, love the “the commendable and the regrettable” comment! SO true. There are days when cave dwelling sounds pretty awesome to me. Just saying. Lately I’m finding a serenity in the going back to basics logic. Of course, I take my dog with me!

Jeffrey Davidson - We all know that dogs are loving. Lock you dog and significant other/spouse/etc. in the trunk for a few hours. When you open the trunk, which one is happy to see you?

Cheryl Nicholl - Is it the Seasonal change that makes us all want to nestle and get back to simple pleasures? I know as soon as I feel the ‘shift’ I change gears. Maybe it’s our age and the wisdom that that imparts? Either way- I hear you and I’m riding in the seat next to you. Beautiful post. Wonderful writing…. of course. Thanks my dear friend for giving me something to think about.
Cheryl Nicholl recently posted..From BLAH to BEAUTIFUL: Ten Ways To Transform Your Grown Kid’s First ApartmentMy Profile

Kim Dalferes, Author - This post makes me miss my dog Taz, who left us this past May after over 13 years of wonderful companionship. He taught us many lessons. I try to love as unconditionally as he did.

mel - Dear Tammy,
If only our dogs could talk. Maybe they do – to other dogs. What secrets about us they would share. What a delightful funny column. You must read Billy Collins’ poem on the subject, called “The Revenant”. – Google it. It’s a dog talking back to its master. Oh, to be as good as dog, but maybe they can be better than usbecause they have less to worry about?

Kim Tackett - I’ve always thought that my dog’s unconditional love and adoration was worth every sock he chewed and every poop I scooped. And you’re right, we need to love ourselves as our dogs love us!
Kim Tackett recently posted..musings :: song for autumnMy Profile

Tana Bevan - Tammy~In answer to your question why we’re not as honest in public as in private (and even in private not as honest as we might be) is most of us … okay I can’t speak for others so I’ll admit that my experience has been when I’ve shared something personal, the truth, been extremely honest, and it’s been thrown back in my face and/or bitten me in the butt. That gets old. Would love to say I’ve only done this once or twice. No so. There was always something in me that hoped, “This time will be different.” Not sure when I decided that wasn’t to be and/or I just wasn’t in the mood to take that chance any more. That’s my tale.

As always, you have a lovely way of putting your words together. It is a talent I admire my friend. Still, you don’t mention how you evolved to the public/private persona. Would love to hear about its evolution if you care to share. Am respectful if you don’t. *smiles warmly*
Tana Bevan recently posted..Technology … Good?My Profile

Lois Alter Mark - There’s a reason dog is God spelled backwards. I am totally missing our beloved dogs now, and am thinking it’s going to be time to get another one soon. It’s hard to live without that unconditional love and unbridled enthusiasm. I do get those from my husband but he’s not quite as tolerant of my singing as my Chow Chow and Newfy used to be :)

Doreen McGettigan - You really have me wondering what my dogs would say. They would probably say how much fun they have running from me after taking my underwear out their doggie door and burying it in the garden along with my keys and shoes. (the vet says they don’t want me to leave, awww)
I get so mad but they are so cute I have to laugh.
I would like to think I am the same person in public that I am in private but will have to think about that one.
Doreen McGettigan recently posted..The Insecure Writers Support Group and Writing WednesdayMy Profile

Sheryl Kraft - Dogs are THE best and THE most honest and loving. I miss my dogs beyond reason!

Tammy - Thanks, Mel, so happy you enjoyed the read. It was great fun to write. I do love my pooch of 13 years. We are old souls together, now. Understanding each others needs without a spoken word or command. A grace and dance of love and appreciation. Something I will gravely miss when she is no longer. Until then, I openly talk with her, all the while teasing her how she better not repeat what she just heard or saw. If a dog could giggle, I imagine she would.

Tammy - I do SO agree with you, Kim. They are worth every single pee spot, aggravation, pet sitting fees, etc. There is no true measure of a dogs worth, because it is so great and so profound in its purity that it’s only when we are with them we consider ourselves for what we are …. mere mortals. I have been graced by many a dog and a cat in my lifetime. Tender mercies…all of them!

Tammy - Interesting thought, isn’t it, Doreen? I think we’ve all met those women who are completely different with men than they are with other women. Sad, really. How many faces can one have without feeling confused or overwhelmed? A dogs perspective puts it all into balance. They give us a daily dose of those things that matter: love, harmony, food, water, a warm bed, and a loving lap to lean in to. A dog that has those things considers themselves to be rich. I’m thinking we should too!

Tammy - So happy you enjoyed the read, Tana. I completely understand your tale. It is the same for many, myself as well. Still, I forged ahead and found that when my attitude changed, so did the outcome. I no longer give a rats ass what people think of me. No lie. I am quite happy to be who I am, and proud that I’ve made it this far. For only I know the real distance, pain, and turmoil it took to get here. And only I can celebrate myself in proper fashion. And so I do. One day, over a cup of java, we will share. Thank you for being here. I do so appreciate you!

Nancy Hill - my dogs and cats have seen me through thick and thin, but my pups love me more, my turtle is plotting to get out of his tank and eat me

Carol - Tammy,
So much truth in this!!
You hit the nail on head once again.

Tammy - THANKS, Carol. So happy to see you here! Yup, it is all true. God love those fuzz buckets that complete our home life with such grace and devotion. Can’t imagine what it would be like without them. Thanks for popping by… was awesome!

Lily Lau - If your doggie could talk, you’d start taking the 5 o’clock tea and talk for long hours!
Lily Lau recently posted..Breathtaking views from around the worldMy Profile

Tammy - Lily, if my dog could talk I’d probably leave the house a lot less often. I’m quite sure that the conversation would be amazingly stimulating! YES, high tea would be a daily event!

Can a sassy woman blogger shame the NFL even if she doesn’t know a thing about football?

Just watch me. Hey NFL, if I were your mother, I would take you out of the game. No time outs, no suspensions. I would throw your disrespectful ass out on the dirty street where it belongs. Your behavior is reprehensible, disgusting, and shows absolutely no regard for your players or their families. It is […]

View full post »

Joan Cooper - Well said, Tammy.

It is puzzling to me why the NFL does not have counseling available to its’ players who have problems, and keep a file on that. Yes, this is an investment for them, so why do they not protect that investment and also help their men who so much need help.

You know me Tammy – I put Vick at the top of the list for hanging in public. This is the ultimate violation – to hurt a flesh and blood creature who has no chance to fight back. Rice’ lady married him fully knowing his violence. That is a little different. Not approving – but she did have a fighting chancre – no pun intended.


Linda Lichtman - I’m cancelling my season’s NFL tickets and donating the $$$ to a battered women’s shelter.
Linda Lichtman recently posted..Join Us in the Fight For Net NeutralityMy Profile

Tana Bevan - What is an appropriate punishment? Well, seems to me castration along with a frontal lobotomy. Then place him in a room/stadium of women while showing the video. Let justice be done. (Wouldn’t be surprised to learn vigilante justice is on the rise.)
Tana Bevan recently posted..Ground ZeroMy Profile

Tammy - Joan, I AGREE with you on ALL counts. That is rare for us. I welcome the company. It’s all so disgusting to know that it’s part of our “Americana”. God help us.

Tammy - OMG, Linda, that is FREAKING BRILLIANT! So LOVE the idea. Man, would that many will follow in your footsteps! Thank you for being here, my friend.

Tammy - Tana, this is all so crazy and out of whack. I’m learning that the NFL will allow him to play sooner than later. What the hell?! Women need to take over this shit. Men are clearly incapable of looking past their wallets. UGH! Do like the stadium suggestion!

Carol Cassara - I am with you 300 percent.

Helene Cohen Bludman - I am so disgusted with this Ray Rice incident and the sloppy way the NFL has dealt with it. And I hate that his wife is defending him.

Maureen Musgrave Armentrout - You tell ‘em!! The whole sport – owners, players & advertisers – need fixing! Not to mention counseling for the wives…….

Barbara Torris - You are saying what we have ALL known for longer than we care to admit. However, until the football fans of America let their voice be heard, nothing (nothing) will change. I believe that football players are allowed to do things on the field that they would be arrested for on the street or in their homes. The game is simply barbaric!

Cathy Chester - This whole incident is another shameful event in the world of sports.

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
As with politics and business, the bottom line is the bottom line. Now sports. The NFL is a cash cow and nobody wants to see that the milk is sour.Shepard Smith interviewed an ex-wife of an ex NFLers today who admitted she was the victim of domestic abuse, and the coach of her husband’s team told her NOT to report the incident.
I am sure ping pong has its dirty elements, but not on such a large scale. Sportsmanship? integrity? fair play? Those concepts, my dear, are gone with the wind. And we will always have football playing Mondays, Sundays, now Thursdays just outside of Tara.

Kim Tackett - I’m not a football fan, so no love lost. But it seems that the game
itself is an exercise in violence (like I said, not a fan, so the strategy part is invisible to me), so why are we surprised when the athletes, or stars, behave in this way? I do hope this opens up a conversation and real changes are made. Thanks for this piece!
Kim Tackett recently posted..Meet my favorite artist :: Steve BarbariaMy Profile

Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs - There are so many ways in which the NFL needs to shape up, do the right thing. Will it ever happen? Doubtful. It’s an endless exercise in frustration.
Lisa @ Grandma’s Briefs recently posted..On siblings and superheroesMy Profile

Lois Alter Mark - Great post. The NFL is a disgrace, putting money before basic human rights. They could set a great example for generations of boys by kicking out abusers. Instead, they protect and defend them. If Ray Rice had knocked out anyone other than his girlfriend/fiance/wife like that, he’d be in jail. Where he should be.

Tammy - *Big Sigh* No doubt you are right, Mel. 60 Minutes did an expose last year on the NFL on how they drugged up wounded players to play. One would think that was illegal. They didn’t flinch. Like the NRA, they don’t have to. What a crazy world we live in.

Tammy - Hi Kim, happy to have you here. Yup, it opened up conversation alright. Let’s see if anything comes of it. Fingers crossed!

Tammy - It IS an endless exercise in frustration! As long as those tickets get sold, this will continue. Only when they are hit where it hurts, in the wallet, will it matter. How sad is that?!

Tammy - I’m with you Helene. His wife’s actions are even more bizarre. It seems clear that priorities are completely upside down. Can you imagine this kind of incident happening in baseball 40 years ago? Of course not. Baseball prided itself on integrity and the honesty and purity of the game. Too bad we’ve lost touch with that sentiment.

Doreen Mcgettigan - AMEN!! The NFL needs to stop signing thugs to multi-million dollar contracts, especially thugs with poor educations.

Toni McCloe - The NFL said today that they did not see the video of Rice hitting his fiancee. They saw only a video of him dragging his fiancee out of the elevator. Duhhh??? “dragging!!!”

Tammy - You made me laugh, Toni. Duhhhh! Yup, I would think that if you see a guy dropping and dragging his fiancée out of an elevator and not even bending over to see how she is, that something not so awesome went down. This post was picked up by HUFFPOST today, and as it turns out, they DID see the entire video in April. Shocker. Not. These guys are cover up artist, crooks of the worst kind. Send them all to jail! Bah!!

Mary La Fornara Gutierrez - I totally agree!

Rosalind Warren - LOVE it! (Especially that Michael Vick aside.)

Ruth Curran - Oh you are preaching to the choir on this one. I get it that holding professional athletes up as role models is not always a good idea but criminal behavior is a different story. Great post

lizzy - Pro teams have always been about the revenue. What is, sad is hearing the Commish saying he hoped the couple would work things out. Huh??? Would he hope his daughter stay with a guy who beats the shit out of her? This is all so classic victim that it’s shocking and heartbreaking. A great lesson for the public on domestic abuse, victims, and why they stay.

Tammy - Ruth, we are on the same page. If only everyone else was too. Thanks ever so for the read and the comment!

Tammy - Lizzy, holy cow, I didn’t hear that from the commish. That is insane! I’m sure the tables would be turned if it were his daughter. At least, we hope so. The poor money hungry lying scum. Wait … was that my outside voice? You’re right…it is a great lesson for the public and hopefully some good dialogue will come of it.

Jeanne Moattari - Sports figures have stopped being American idols. They are businesses. No person should have to be beaten or brow beaten by anyone else. Mental abuse occurs every day in every job. Why doesn’t anyone blog about the woman who is let go for being overweight? Or school principals who make racist statements to young student teachers? These are power plays. Everyone wants to see the guy who makes an insane amount of money, go down. His wife and he need therapy and other relationship help. But calling them out, taking away the job of the breadwinner, is not addressing the issue..wasn’t there a famous athlete charged with rape– which is violence, physical and psychological..he was fined and back at work. Definitely the ATHLETIC professions need to hire psycholigists. These athletes live abnormal lives. Bigger than reality. But they deserve to be judged like everyone else, not in the media or on blogs. Michael Vick was guilty of animal abuse and more. Why is he still playing?

WendysHat - This is a whole other world from the one I live in. Sad state of affairs I’m afraid.
WendysHat recently posted..Benefits of LavenderMy Profile

Jeffrey Davidson - Great post! It’s amazing how these “role models” just like the Senators and Representatives in Washington get away with all kinds of illegal and immoral things. The NFL at the very least should ban him from all future games, nullify his contract and never allow him to play in the league again. That goes for all of the felons, drug users, spousal, child and animal abusers etc. That being said, the salaries that any professional athlete commands, just like many CEO’s, etc. is what the market will bare. It is truly sad that our teachers, law enforcement officials, fire fighters, etc. command such low pay. However, that is a societal problem when the athletes are paid so much more. You commented that: “Speaking of bucks, don’t even get me started on the ridiculous million dollar salaries these guys get to catch, throw and kick a pig skin. All while our teachers, firemen, social workers, etc. go horribly underpaid and remain far too undervalued.” Athletes get paid because they bring in the money that society pays to see them perform. The others get paid from tax revenue. One is voluntary and the other is required. I don’t blame the “good” athletes, but like you, I think the sports management should have much higher standards as well as requiring a minimum, legitimate education.

I Want To Be A Gross, Stereotypical Objectification. Don’t You?

It’s not often I profess to know more than Newsweek or the Chicago Tribune. But I sure as hell do today. A lot is being said about Sofia Vergara’s rotating pedestal act at the Emmys. Most of it bad. Very bad. Newsweek and the Chicago Tribune are just a small slice of the pie. Social […]

View full post »

Carol Cassara - I missed it, but definitely agree with your take. Oh, we take ourselves sooo seriously these days, it’s nauseating.

Carol Cassara - I missed it, but definitely agree with your take. Oh, we take ourselves sooo seriously these days, it’s nauseating.

Lorraine C. Ladish - As a Latina, I´ve been reading all the insults to Vergara and thinking about it. Yours is the first I read that gave the opposite point of view. Thank you for the perspective!

Lorraine C. Ladish - As a Latina, I´ve been reading all the insults to Vergara and thinking about it. Yours is the first I read that gave the opposite point of view. Thank you for the perspective!

Laura Lee Carter - Best summary: “If you or your children’s idea of self-worth hinges on the actions of someone you don’t even know, then you have bigger problems,,,” I find our fascination with celebrity unhealthy at best!

Laura Lee Carter - Best summary: “If you or your children’s idea of self-worth hinges on the actions of someone you don’t even know, then you have bigger problems,,,” I find our fascination with celebrity unhealthy at best!

Betty Landau - Brava! Thank God for people like you with common sense.

Betty Landau - Brava! Thank God for people like you with common sense.

Jeffrey Davidson - Right on! It was a clever way to spice up what was otherwise an uninspiring portion of the Emmy’s. As you stated, she is a successful model, spokesperson, business woman, actress, entertainer, etc. And, she is probably crying all the way to the bank with her estimated $20,000,000 annual.

She is not an athlete that kids look up to that do drugs and commit other crimes. She is not a Rap star that kids look up to that do drugs and commit other crimes.

Make her success your role model.

Joan Cooper - WOW oh WOW. You really have a way with words. I cannot believe the Latina Community doesn’t like her. I am an avid fan of Telemundo – I admire the Novellas for their superb acting and story line which, is unlike anything in the U.S. as you cannot guess the next step in the story.

However, while there is a very strong line of family and all, there is also a strong line of violence. Guns and more creative acts of violence are continual. Why doesn’t the Latina Community do something about that and leave pretty women alone.

Latinos are male dominated. Interesting that they have to pick on a lovely and successful woman. What are they afraid of ???

Joan Cooper

Kim Tackett - Ok, so now I am totally bummed they didn’t have dueling spinning platforms, with Hugh Jackman on the other one!
Kim Tackett recently posted..beautiful rustMy Profile

Carole Milligan - I’m a stagehand brat and stagehand wife-my father worked in the Los Angeles TV and stage industry, and my husband works in the same industry. Hubby works most of the award shows, and he worked on the Emmys.

I usually don’t watch award shows, as I am jaded from a lifetime of exposure to the industry. I did not watch the Emmys. I have been reading all the negative comments about Sofia’s performance on the turntable, and thought wow, she must have practically been doing a striptease to garner all the negative responses.

And then, thanks to your post, I watched the video of what happened. I found it cute and laughable, and thought she did a great job looking surprised at being asked to step up on the turntable, and found nothing offensive about the slight posturing she did.

As an FYI to all, shows are scripted. The performers practice; they follow direction from the producers. Sofia was not ad-libbing up there, she agreed to follow direction. There was a stagehand under the stage, slowly moving the turntable by hand.

As a proud Latina hybrid myself, I thank you for your perspective, and bringing a voice of reason to the debate.

Lisa Carpenter - Hear, hear! And cheer, cheer for this post. You have hit it absolutely on the head. I saw the bit and didn’t even consider the crazy lengths to which folks would go with this. Absolutely: Get over yourselves and get a sense of humor!

Lisa Carpenter - Hear, hear! And cheer, cheer for this post. You have hit it absolutely on the head. I saw the bit and didn’t even consider the crazy lengths to which folks would go with this. Absolutely: Get over yourselves and get a sense of humor!

Doreen Mcgettigan - I totally thought she was being a good sport, and your are right she is beautiful. I was not at all offended.
I was offended several times watching the VMA’s and had to turn the channel.

Doreen Mcgettigan - I totally thought she was being a good sport, and your are right she is beautiful. I was not at all offended.
I was offended several times watching the VMA’s and had to turn the channel.

Tammy - Hi Jeffrey! Happy to see you here, it’s been a while. Glad that you enjoyed the read. We are on the same page (no surprise there). I, too, thought is was a clever way to add spark to an “uninspiring” portion of the show. People are way too sensitive these days, pushing their angst and anger onto other people. To them, I say, get over it. To you, I say, thank you!

Tammy - Joan, you’ve made such good points and offered a different perspective. Awesome! Latino television IS filled with violence, sex and immorality. Yes, we don’t hear any complaints about that, do we? You are right …. they should leave the lovely, successful woman alone. People are so obsessed with pointing the finger and placing the blame. All nonsense. Thanks, Joan, for your offering here.

Tammy - Hey, Kim, how much you want to bet that we will see something like that next year?! But I think your idea would have alleviated the hate spewing we have witnessed. I, for one, would have truly appreciated it! *giggling*

Tammy - Hi Carole, what a refreshing point of view, thank you. Rarely do we get an “insiders” look at things like this. I, too, thought she was pretty awesome as she feigned surprise and went along for the ride. As you duly noted, the woman didn’t strip, she playfully postured throughout the speech. I am so appreciative of your input and sharing here. Thanks for that!

Donna Highfill - I was grateful that I didn’t have to just listen to that guy drone on and on. I thought her body language was hilarious. Comedy is tough these days, because people are all crouched in an attack position waiting to jump on satire. Lighten up, people. Everything is NOT a political statement. We’re giving too much power to the sour people. Go join Oscar the Grouch in the trashcan and let us have a little fun.

Terri - She is absolutely adorable with an awesome sense of humor! You are so right!!! Thank you for your comments!

Lois Alter Mark - It’s obvious that she’s smart, talented and has a better sense of humor than anyone trying to put her down for her comic actions. And she was much more interesting than the guy who was actually speaking!
Lois Alter Mark recently posted..the inn at rancho santa feMy Profile

Tammy - Hi Donna, you said a mouthful … “everything is NOT a political statement”. Geesh, you are a genius, Donna Highfill. It’s always the negative peeps that garner the media attention. Oscar the Grouch, eh? I’m thinking you and I should be sitting down and watching some serious Sesame Street with a bucket of hot fudge sundae’s. Are you in? Love having you here!

Tammy - Terri, I do so agree with you …. agreeing with me. Haaa! You are too sweet. Happy t have you here, thanks for that!

Tammy - Lois, she WAS so much more interesting that the guy talking. That was the whole point. And the conclusion of his speech was perfection the way it tied into her giving the audience something good to look at. Appreciate the read AND the comment, Lois, thank you.

Suzanne Stavert - People can be so dense! If they were offended or felt sorry for Sofia they totally missed the point. There was a great deal of intelligent writing on the Emmys. I am certain that it went over some people’s heads. Thanks for pointing this out.

Tammy - Suzanne, I’d like to think there were more of us that “got it” than those who didn’t. But the way social media lit up and crucified her, blaming her for the downing of Latinas everywhere and exploiting her sexuality thereby taking women down to a sex pot level in everyone’s eyes. As Charlie Brown would say … Good Grief! Thanks for the read and the comment!

Anne Louise Bannon - I get that it’s a joke and rather satirical. I guess the part that bothers me about it is that, alas, that’s the only way we see women on TV: as objects to drool over. (Although I am drooling over Vergara’s dress – that was gorgeous.) It’s getting better, but it’s still worrisome. And we don’t get to see guys this way. I would seriously have loved to see Hugh Jackman on that rotating pedestal. I also thought it was a little insulting to the Academy that people thought their mission was so boring they had to put Vergara up there.
Nonetheless, Vergara can do what she wants. If I don’t like what she did, I sure as heck won’t give her more attention by tweeting, Facebooking, etc.
Anne Louise Bannon recently posted..Basic Merlot with Marisa Taylor of Rutherford HillMy Profile

WendysHat - Obviously they all have too much time on their hands. Didn’t see it. Don’t care to. I’m sure she wouldn’t be doing anything she didn’t want to do. Why does everyone now days get so worked up over EVERYTHING?

Chloe Jeffreys - I haven’t even seen it and I already know I agree with you. Sheesh. People really don’t have anything to do with their time, do they?

George J Molnar - Where do I sign up for that level of objectification? It could be fun, and profitable. I’m sure I do “gross” better than she does!

George J Molnar - Where do I sign up for that level of objectification? It could be fun, and profitable. I’m sure I do “gross” better than she does!

Cathy Chester - I thought it was very funny because she made it so. Her expressions were hysterical.

Tammy - Anne, I totally respect and understand your point of view. Her dress WAS gorgeous. I can guarantee you it would not have looked that good if I had worn it. Sigh. There are a LOT of strong women in the media, television, movies and a LOT of some pretty stupid men in all those venues as well. I take them all with the grain of salt that they are simply entertainment. None of them depict real people as they are or should be. That’s why they call it acting. I wouldn’t mind a gig that pays that well! Thank you, Anne, for sharing your point of view. Grateful for that!

Tammy - Wendy, no kidding! It seems people are just sitting around waiting to point the finger. Geesh!

Tammy - Hi Chloe, you should take a peek at it, there is a link at the end of the post. Harmless stuff. So agree with you….people really don’t have anything better to do with their time. Sad, really.

Maureen Musgrave Armentrout - The critics should all wish they looked so good! Great piece, thanks for always telling it like it is!

Maureen Musgrave Armentrout - The critics should all wish they looked so good! Great piece, thanks for always telling it like it is!

Mary La Fornara Gutierrez - I watched it last night and thought Sofia was adorable. She knows how to use what she was given. She is after all in the entrainment industry. Thank you for writing what so many of us are thinking!

Mary La Fornara Gutierrez - I watched it last night and thought Sofia was adorable. She knows how to use what she was given. She is after all in the entrainment industry. Thank you for writing what so many of us are thinking!

Sharon Hodor Greenthal - I think she’s gorgeous and funny and smart as can be – she’s making more money than nearly any other woman in Hollywood and she’s striking while the iron is hot. People need to lighten up.

Sharon Hodor Greenthal - I think she’s gorgeous and funny and smart as can be – she’s making more money than nearly any other woman in Hollywood and she’s striking while the iron is hot. People need to lighten up.

Becky Blades - Love how you shake things up, Tammy. Things that SHOULD be shaken. Or stirred. It’s one of the few times I wished I had watched the VMA awards. You had me at “rotating pedestal.”

My two teen daughters say “people who make the world annoying fall into two categories: “Haters gonna hate.” or “Bitches need a sense of humor.”

Tammy - Thanks, Becky! Shaking things up is a habit I can’t seem to break. Tell your two beautiful daughters that are pretty smart and most likely super correct in their assumption. Haters and no humor makes for a tough world. So happy to have you here, Becky. Thanks for that!

Ande Lyons - “It is better to be looked over than overlooked.” ~Mae West

I LOVE your view of the world Tammy Bleck. I thought Sofia was funny, delicious and ooooh la la at the Emmys. It was a clever way to get through the Academy’s boring speech… and I especially loved when she spanked her derriere… so sassy and brilliant. But then, I’m a huge fan of Mae West… so yes, if you’ve got… flaunt it… with humor and a twinkle in your eye!



Tammy - THANKS, Ande, I do so agree with the unflappable Mae! Sometimes we should judge less and enjoy more. Life is generally better that way. So appreciate the read and the support….as always. You, my darling, are beyond awesome!

Sharon - Thank you, thank you thank you, for your comments!
I never reply to anything but I just had to on this!!
I totallly enjoyed and loved what Sofia Vergara did.
I thought it was very funny and not at all wrong.
It is amazing to me that when a woman has talent and
works so hard to have people enjoy it, is then successful
she at a moments notice can be trashed by the media.
Thank you Sofia for the laughs you give and please don’t stop.
Thank you Tammy for for sticking up for her!!!!!

Tammy - Thank YOU, Sharon! It seems that these days it’s easier to follow the pack and criticize. Sad really. Your comments ring true for so many people who think along the same lines. So happy, Sharon, that you found your way here, and happy that I found you. Thanks for that.

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
I think America has lost its sense of humor. Nobody forced her on the pedestal. (Shouldn’t all women be placed on a pedestal, or am I objectifying?)We live in serious times, ISIS and such, and we need humor, anything to offset the constant drum of bad news and the boring voting speech that the suit had to make. I agree with you 100% and will continue top look at pretty women, as long as they smile at me.

Tammy - Mel, I’ll ALWAYS smile at you, but not sure that counts. I agree!! We have lost our sense of humor. Then there are the well adjusted people like you and me (laughing convincingly). Life will always be a bit rosier for those of us who find humor from women on pedestals! I’m betting that pretty women still smile at you. Every day! Appreciate the read, Mel. Thanks for being here!

Michele Jeffers - Yes! That was so much fun to read! I just love a good “give ‘em what for” now and again. And, as usual, you were spot on!

Tammy - Thanks, Michele! You are awesome to say so. So nice to know there are at least two of us who think alike. Thanks EVER SO MUCH for being here!

maureen - Hi Tammy,

I loved your perspective on this. People cannot or should not be expected to represent and entire community. As an entertainer, she did just that. She was fun, silly, and as you said whimsical. Something most of us could do with a little more of!

Tammy - Thanks, Maureen! So appreciate your comment and happen to agree with it whole heartedly! No surprise there. Thanks ever so much for being here.

Heaven Didn’t Wait

I don’t know if there is a gate in heaven. Truth be told, I’m not all that sold on heaven itself. I hope that if there is a heaven to look forward to, that it’s not the one I learned about in my Catholic catechism or my Baptist teachings. Because if that were true, then […]

View full post »

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
A most compassionate column with a beautiful last last line, “….don’t press to find it.” Even Shepard Smith on FOX called RW a “coward,” but I agree, nobody can judge what drives a man or woman to the edge and over it. It’s a desire for the release of pain. (Today’s news story was that he felt crushed by money concerns – alimony payments)Would there be an accepting heaven, not sure there is one at all.) I feel for his children; they will be scarred. Suicide has consequences for the living. See scene in “Good Will Hunting” to understand the inability of one man to understand another’s pain.

Joan Cooper - Dear Tammy – you have such a way with words. No one could pay a more wonderful tribute to Robin Williams. He was lucky to have you in his audience.

Life is hard. Was this really what God or the gods wanted ? I see them sitting around watching our planet like a TV novella. Human’s are an amazing creation. So is nature. When I get too far from nature I feel myself start to lose touch. Mother Teresa questioned it all at the end. She asked how a good god could allow the cruelty all around us (?). Oh yes – we are endowed with ‘free will’. We really have to work hard to understand that when we face the mean nasty things life can hand out.

Thank you for that lovely piece for Robin Williams. Makes us all think.


Jenn - a thoughtful reflection on this sad event and some of the sadder public response.
Jenn recently posted..What I’m Reading Wednesday: “A” is for the AlchemistMy Profile

Carolyn Durandette - Really lovely, gentle thoughts. All I can say, is that his death leaves me feeling at a loss for his family first and for the the rest of us. How will his children understand why he did this? Will they be able to grasp that this act didn’t happen because of anything that one of them said or did or did not do. I’m praying that his soul is now at peace and that his family will come to understand, too.

Tammy - Mel, I wish I knew the answer to “would there be an accepting heaven”. All we are taught about God is forgiveness and love. If that is true, then the wondering can stop. I guess we won’t know until we get there. I also heard many cruel comments. Awful. What makes a person believe they can judge another? One must wonder. Of course, it is always those who are left behind that must deal with the pain. It is all so very, very sad. Thank you, Mel, for you sharing and insight.

Tammy - Joan, we DO have to work hard to understand all that life brings our way. So much of it is tragic. I share Mother Theresa’s point of view. However, this earth is run by mankind. And we both know there is no more destructive species that lives. Continue to look on the bright side of the heart. There is much there to hold on to! Thank you for the read and the comment, Joan!

Tammy - Thanks for that, Jenn. So appreciate the read and the sharing. Life can be cruel. People crueler.

Linda Lichtman - Thank you for this brilliant post – I feel a little healing has taken place inside of me – so much more to go. Sending you a Robin-sized hug and kiss…xox

Wendy Walker Cushing - I feel for his family because mine has gone through this. I also know that most times it’s not anything that the person really wanted to do, even with all the best help in the world. One moment in time that can’t be given back. He was a light like so many others are too. My heart goes out to all of them.

Carol Cassara - So much insight here. Thank you.

Tana Bevan - “That is what suicide is, I think. Ridding yourself of a horror you can no longer bear the weight of. I can’t imagine it, and my eyes tear up and my heart breaks at the thought of it.”

You have an amazing way with words my friend. Thank you.
Tana Bevan recently posted..The War Against WomenMy Profile

Tammy - As do you, my friend. As do you! It is a subject that I am personally unfamiliar with. Thank God. But that touches me grievously non the less. Appreciate the read, and of course, the kind comment!

Ruth Curran - Thank you for your heart felt assessment and perspective. It is and should be, as you said, about his family but we all need to take away a bit of compassion for those who do fight demons. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.

Mary Lanzavecchia - Having lost my brother 4 years ago to suicide, I heard many comments that were unbelievable to me. Comments that he had committed a sin and was selfish. I couldn’t believe my ears; the insensitivity that cut into my broken heart. I ached for my brother the man who felt so lost and whose pain ran so deep and I ached more for the children he left behind.

Lovely post, Tammy. You’re right; we are all privileged to have witnessed his light shine while it did and owe nothing but respect to his family as they move through the days, months, and years ahead toward a “new normal.”
Mary Lanzavecchia recently posted..First Year Lessons Through the Rearview Mirror (Part 3)My Profile

Tammy - Mary, so very, very sorry about the loss of your brother. It’s beyond horrible what people believe they have a right to say. They have NO right to pitch in their opinions. Not then or now. Let us consider ourselves lucky to have had these wonderful people in our lives and to bear witness to their contributions of family, love and giving. Hugs to you, my new friend, and warm thanks for your sharing.

Lois Alter Mark - Such a great post. It’s not up to any of us to judge Robin Williams or anyone who commits suicide. I can’t imagine the pain someone must feel to reach that point. It’s up to us to be compassionate to the family they leave behind and to try to help people never get to that point in the first place. Robin Williams will be greatly missed.
Lois Alter Mark recently buick bucket list trip: parnassus booksMy Profile

Cathy Chester - Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Heaven just got richer with the angel we had for only a short time. Depression and suicide – what horrible subjects. But we MUST have a dialogue in order to help others traveling the same path as Robin Williams. Good for you to write about this and in such a way as to show the beauty of his soul. He will be forever missed. I can’t say that line enough…

Tammy - What a wonderful world it would be if we could prevent this disease from taking any one from us again. If only. And yet, if we can send men to the moon, this should be attainable. From your mouth to Gods ears, Lois. Thank you for being here!

Kitt Crescendo - Tammy, I have found myself both frustrated and ashamed of the way our media/press handles celebrity death…or celebrities in general. We don’t allow families their space to grieve. We get so nosy about the gory details. I truly feel for the loved ones left behind in these situations.

Like you, I adored Robin Williams. Always have. Was I devastated to learn of his passing? Of course. Yet my sense of loss is minute compared to what his family must be experiencing…and they’re under microscopes. Me? I’ll pray for them and hope they find some measure of peace. I won’t be judging Robin. It’s not my job. My job is to love and give and try to make my world a better place how and where I can.
Kitt Crescendo recently posted..The Magic of Robin WilliamsMy Profile

Donna Beckman Tagliaferri - I love the idea of heaven….luckily I believe in a God that brings everyone to heaven…everyone. Doesn’t that sound lovely? But I am not going to weigh in on Robin Williams. I feel terrible for his family and then the whole world….I will miss him a lot

Susan Smart - Dearest Tammy ……Perfect.

Janie Emaus - This was a beautiful tribute. So well written and well, I just had to comment even though I’m leaving at 4:30am and should be packing!

Tammy - I too am ashamed of our media system of coverage for things like this. It’s embarrassing and humiliating. It’s also depicts us as a nation in such a sad despicable way. *sigh* We are better than that as a whole. People generally reach out as you have with prayers and genuine tears of grief for those left behind. I’m right there with you. So glad to see you here. I’ve missed you!

Tammy - Susan, that is the nicest thing anyone could say. Thank you, my friend. I miss you.

Tammy - Oh, Janie, I’m so happy you made time for me. Thank you for the kindest of reviews! Appreciate the read! Safe travels to you….uh, leaving at 4:30? What journey would be worth that wake up? You must keep me posted on that. Wonderful to hear from you. Truly.

Doreen McGettigan - Some of those comments were horrific. My family was very rattled by the comments and by the sheriff’s press conference. My stepson died the same way. The sheriffs graphic detail left us praying Robin’s family was not watching.
Our priest told us if you are mentally ill and die of suicide you do go to heaven. I find it all very confusing but cannot imagine Robin Williams anywhere right now but in Heaven making all of the angels and the stars laugh.
Doreen McGettigan recently posted..Writing Wednesday/ Marketing Part 1My Profile

Tammy - Neither can I, Doreen. Neither can I. Religion is confusing. The rules seems to change and flux and sins have degrees. I have to think that there are no such idiocies in Gods place. Loving hearts are accepted. It can’t be any other way. I’m so very sorry to hear of your stepson. It’s brutal. I can’t imagine. I too prayed that Robins family was not watching the news as the sheriff spoke of the details. I, myself, turned off the television. Some things I don’t need to know. Thank you for the read, Dorren, and the comment. Wonderful to hear your sharing.

Ellen Dolgen - Beautiful perspective….thank you!

Noel Hodnett - Tammy, thank you for the wonderful post, you expressed so well what I have not been able to put in words. In particular, your question, “Is it just me, or does the world seem a little more broken because it lost such a giving light?” That said it all right there, you so movingly furnished the perfect words for the shock and loss so many of us feel.
It is so sad now looking at the various video clips of Robin and his machine gun delivery of hilarity to think that he is actually gone, out like the flame of a candle extinguished by his own hand. Yes, indeed the world is a little more broken.

Maliss - Your spot on! Hugs Tammy

Tammy - Happy to hear it, Maliss. Happy you enjoyed the read, and do so appreciate the comment!

Jean-Pierre Smith - Tammy, Thank you so much for those word. You are spot on.

Tammy - Thank YOU for the read, Jean-Pierre. I do so appreciate your kindness.

Myrna Alpern - Hi Tammy,

I just signed up for your seminar, and I’m looking forward to it. I had hoped that you were going to do it. The person you recommended to me in fact, recommended YOU as the person to call for expert advice.

Obviously, there is a HUGH void in this industry for the expert. We can’t keep spreading you so thin.

Tammy - Hi Myrna, so happy to have you on board here at Witty Woman! Geesh, nothing like going around the mulberry bush. Sorry about that. Yes, I am an expert on blogging/social media and writing, and do offer my services to the public. However, I am a working girl and my fees are posted on my website. The services offered by SCORE are free, which is why I referred you to them. Should you need my help, Myrna, I’m happy to do all I can. Click on my website, enter your payment and, Bam!, we will schedule some old fashion face time together. Thrilled to see you at the event next week!

Should We Grow Old Gracefully?

I was recently asked to lecture on the art of growing old gracefully. Boy were they barking up the wrong tree. I accepted the challenge. I figured it was an opportunity to enlighten my audience and get paid for it. Nice work if you can get it. I shared with them the bittersweet truth: there […]

View full post »

mel glenn - I think part of the trick to manage the years is to stay feisty.
Like you do. Grace Schmace. You have to be passionate. I like your message here that we should be graceful for even reaching our ages. (Pity the poor sick child). Keep battlin’ tiger.
It’s the good fight.

Tammy - Feisty is good, Mel. LOVE your comment: Grace Schmace! Brilliant! I think I want to be just like YOU when I grow up!! Always fighting the good fight! Thanks for being here, Mel. Love you for it!

Carol Cassara - Helping smush leftover birthday cake into your face…you GO, girl!

Roberta Yates - I love life ! Always have something to look forward to! I’m never bored . Cherish the past, LIVE today, dream tomorrow !! Xx

Stephanie Weaver - Great post. I loved this line: “as I relax myself around the holding of it.”

Kathy Gottberg - Graceful be damned! Screw Graceful! Graceful is BORING! Hope you shared that ungracefully with the group you spoke to!

Suerae Cobbs Stein - HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a grand, messy, honest, sassy, fun, gorgeous, live-out-loud, amazing woman!!! This is a great post and one I hope to live by. :)

Carole Searcy Milligan - I have this poster on my wall:
Say something silly
Laugh ’til it hurts
Take a risk
Sing out loud
Rock the boat
Shake things up
Flirt with disaster
Buy something frivolous
Color outside the lines
Cause a scene
Order dessert
Make waves
Get carried away
Have a great day

The poster reminds me life is for living. I retired from my company after 29 years, and haven’t sat around. I worked other jobs, and took online classes, and now have my own company to promote natural health for pets. Sure, I got some creaky joints and some aches. But I still have plenty of battery life in this almost 62 year old body. Thanks for sharing your fire, passion and lust for life with us. Wishing you lots of birthday cake to get on your face!

Joan Cooper - I like the comment of a young man who died before he should have – he had a T-shirt that said: “It isn’t the duration, it’s the donation. ”

My T-shirt says: ” Don’t call me old……call me lucky.”

May we all give everything we’ve got before checking out.

Joan Cooper

Tammy - Joan, what a LOVELY offering. YES … may we all give everything we’ve got before checking out! Amen to that and so well said!!

Tam Warner Minton - Well said. Being graceful has never been my forte!
Tam Warner Minton recently posted..Randy’s been cleared!My Profile

Kim Tackett - I love this: I choose to live my life out loud. Screw graceful.

I think that’s one of the gifts of age, that we are comfortable with ourselves, however we show up!

Happy Birthday.
Kim Tackett recently posted..musings :: astonish yourselfMy Profile

Lois Alter Mark - I’m so with you. I’ve never been graceful and am certainly not going to start now!
Lois Alter Mark recently posted..the girls and the goatsMy Profile

Ande - Goddess Tammy!

A BEAUTIFUL post filled with delicious, messy, joy-filled advice for any age – thank you Love!

Living out Loud and Breaking the Rules are two of my fave “messy mottoes” to live by…


Ande recently posted..Copywriting for Connection with Nancy TierneyMy Profile

Tammy - Mine either, Tam! I’ve always longed to be graceful and demure. Just not in the cards for me. It’s all so boring!

Tammy - Thanks, Kim. It feels marvelous to be 61! And, you’re right! Age gives us the wisdom to know the obvious that escapes us in our youth. And I just love that!

Tammy - I wouldn’t have a clue how to live gracefully. I laughed so hard when I heard the original voicemail that wanted to hire me to speak on the subject. I think I surprised them big time. AND, I got asked back? Will wonders (and the truth) never cease!

Walker Thornton - You tell ‘em, Tammy. I’m right there with you! Gracefully implies that it’s going to be awkward, when actually I think growing old, at least at this juncture, is pretty easy! And, fun.
Walker Thornton recently posted..Sex Shaming Has No Age LimitsMy Profile

Tammy - So happy you liked it, Ande! The one thing I have learned about life is that it has no rules. It is a beautiful mess. Just like me (giggle)! Thank you, my darling, for being here for me! I adore you and appreciate you!

Tammy - Thanks, Walker! The whole aging thing gets easier every day. I’m thrilled to be 61. Thrilled! I also like myself a LOT more than I did in my 40′s. It’s all so rewarding in a way. Grace has pity little to do with life. I call on it when I need it and am happy that it has been there for me. As for living gracefully … I think NOT.

Ruth Curran - Here’s to be vibrant and sassy ’til death due us part! Love your attitude and fire with a smile!

Helene Cohen Bludman - Love your positive attitude, Tammy! Aging can be filled with angst, but as you say, it’s better than the alternative. Long life is truly a gift to be cherished.

Tammy - Love that, Ruth …. ’til death do us part! When I was young I wanted so much to be graceful like Audrey Hepburn. Damn. As I got older I found pity little use for grace in real life. Who knew?!

Doreen Mcgettigan - I really needed to read this today, lately I’ve been feeling guilty that I am still here.
I’m 2 minutes late but Happy Happy Birthday and best wishes for a blessed year!

Chloe Jeffreys - I, for one, have always despised the aging gracefully bullshit. What is that anyway? Can we women do one single solitary thing in this life that isn’t getting measured against some abstract, unachievable standard?

Chellie Campbell - I love your post! There are so many examples of women becoming successful entrepreneurs after forty: Louise Hay started her publishing business Hay House when she was 58, Mary Kay Ash started Mary Kay Cosmetics when she was 45. I started my workshop business when I was 42, published my first book “The Wealthy Spirit” when I was 54, my second “Zero to Zillionaire” when I was 58, and my third “From Worry to Wealthy” comes out next year at the lovely young age of 66. Harry Bernstein, who published his first book at age 96 and then three more before passing away at 101, said, “My 90s were the most productive years of my life.” If it wasn’t too late for us, it’s not too late for any of you!

Adriana Kraft - Walt Whitman said it – Do not go gentle into that good night. My dad (who lived to 101) never stopped saying “it’s better than the alternative.” Excellent post!
Adriana Kraft recently posted..New Release! The Heist, by @adrianakraft #MFRWAuthorMy Profile

Tammy - Such fabulous points, Chellie! When I turned 50 I fancied myself as a wanna-be writer. I penned a book called “Single Past Fifty Now What?”. It was picked up and published. I now earn a very comfy living writing, blogging and speaking about it. Proof that if you dream it you can be it. Age is irrelevant. Passion, vision, guts and courage are essential. Thanks SO much for sharing, Chellie!

Tammy - I love Whitman’s quote and couldn’t agree with it more! Thanks for bringing it to the forefront! I’m betting your dad was a pretty awesome guy! So appreciate the sharing!

Carol Cassara - I don’t mind the forgiving so much. It’s taught me a lot. And so has living out loud. You go, girl! It does beat being in the urn!
Carol Cassara recently posted..Fresh fruit recipes for summerMy Profile

Tammy - Thanks, Carol! Pretty much everything beats the urn. Well, almost. So appreciate the read AND the comment!

F a c e b o o k
T w i t t e r
S i g n   u p