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I Don’t Usually Let Negative Comments Get To Me. Until Now.

A post of mine was featured on Huffington Post this past Friday. The hate speak it garnered was pretty impressive. It received over 5,000 Likes, hundreds of Shares and nearly 200 comments. Most of them not so friendly. What was it about? It was about starting over, fear and courage. A shadow post of one […]

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Shirlene Marquis Vitale - I agree Tammy!!! Right now I have 3 cars in my driveway….. A Jeep Cherokee Laredo, a Suzuki Sidekick and a Lexus. Does that Make me priviledged? Don’t judge too quickly people!
I just had my job eliminated due to a downsizing. I am recently and currently unemployed and am over qualified for most of the16 jobs that I have interviewed for in the last 3 weeks.

As far as my 3 cars…..My husband’s Suzuki is a 1994 and only 2 of the 5 doors open and one window has plexiglass and gorilla tape holding it on and it is missing one of the side mirrors. My Jeep is a 1999 and is having all kinds of issues. As far as the Lexus it is a 1991 and my father gave it to me because it just sits in his driveway in California and he is really sick now and wanted someone to be able to drive it until it dies(which may be soon……… My husband is a chef who is currently working at a hospital as a cook. Only makes $15 per hour right now. I now make zero!

I guess that makes me priviledged as well….LOL

Love you friend…Ignore the ignorant haters and enjoyed your life anyways! :)

Laura Lee Carter - Dear Tammy:
I am sorry you were slammed by assholes. I have been having my share of this type of negativity from MY OWN FAMILY lately… ugh! Perhaps my new favorite quote will help you feel better. It works for me!
If someone does not appreciate your efforts, STOP TRYING TO PLEASE THEM.
If they don’t appreciate you, THEY DON’T DESERVE YOU!

Rael Hall - Abundance is not what you have, where you live, or how much you make. It is a state of being you can cultivate continually as a fundamental of life, this State of Being can continually be expanding and attracting new things, people, situations to bring you your next great learning experiences, we call life. Join me in continual expansion of good

Jeffrey Davidson - So, what’s the problem with the post? It is a great story of one’s journey through change, failure, accomplishments and success.

What difference does it make that you gave up a 13 year old car or a diamond worth a million dollars? The point is that you were able to turn things around a make a success with your choices. The same holds true for someone who sold their 5 year old Ford for a clunker for the cash and then succeeded back to the level of success or beyond what they had before.

We can all disagree about many things but vitriolic comments, jealous remarks and name calling do little to help one another get along, solve problems and achieve success. These type of remarks indicate to me that these individuals were unable to make things work out successfully for themselves. So, if you succeeded, it was because you were privileged and did not have the same obstacles that they had or you would still be in a similar situation.

Those who disagree have a right to their opinion, however, I know that saying I don’t agree with you because… goes a lot farther than spewing hateful and rude remarks. I have experienced many situations that were either solved, worked out amicably or perhaps not at all because we approached the disagreement with “honey, not vineager,” but we all walked away without any animosity.

Keep writing the way you do whether or not I agree with you. Can we agree on that?

Rael Hall - Abundance is not what you have, where you live, or how much you make. It is a state of being at your deepest levels, and you can cultivate continually as a fundamental of life, this State of Being can continually be expanding and attracting new things, people, situations to bring you your next great learning experiences, we call life. Join me in continual joy and expansion of good. Those too naive at this point of their personal evolution to create their positive states of being only hurt themselves as they attract more negativity and limitation to their own lives. So thank those haters for showing you your greatness and willingness to be more.

Melanie Kissell - I can only feel sorry for the asshats who don’t know their rear ends from a hole in the ground. I’ve said this way too many times as of late, Tammy, but the term “social media” should read “spew media”. It never ceases to astound me how loose peoples’ lips are online. Seems only a few practice reserve and the measuring of words. I’m pretty damn sure some of these cowards wouldn’t have the nerve to make their unkind remarks to your face.

Melanie Kissell - Has human kindness taken a permanent leave of absence?! :(

Cathy Chester - I was very proud of you, and your story, and we all take a risk of getting those ridiculous trolls on HP who spout hateful comments. You found your happiness, Tammy, through hard work and being yourself. Your true audience recognized that, and we continue to love you!

Maureen Musgrave Armentrout - If I could be you, if you could be me for just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside each other’s mind, mmmm
If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego
I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’ve been blind, mmmm

Now your whole world you see around you is just a reflection
And the law of Karma says you’re gonna reap just what you sow
So unless you’ve lived a life of total perfection
You’d better be careful of every stone that you should throw – yeh-heh

And yet we spend the day throwin’ stones at one another
‘Cause I don’t think or wear my hair the same way you do, mmmm
Well, I may be common people but I’m your brother
And when you strike out you’re tryin’ to hurt me it’s hurtin’ you
Lord, have mercy

And there are people on reservations and out in the ghettos
And brother, there, but for the grace of God, go you and I, yeh-heh
And if I only had wings of a little angel, well
Don’t you know, I’d fly to the top of a mountain and then I’d cry

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Oh, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes…

– Joe South, 1970

Tammy - Hi Shirlene, such a good sharing, thank you. It really brings the point home … you can’t judge a book by it’s cover or a person by what they own. To do so is just ignorant folly. I hope you find something soon by way of employment. While it’s frustrating, being over qualified is better than being under qualified. Thinking good thoughts for you!

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, slammed would be the appropriate word. The world has plenty of negativity. To have it come at you from your family is confusing and unacceptable. If you can’t stand by me then get way behind me. I have little need for you. Love your mantra…will adopt it in my head! Thanks for that.

Tammy - Rael, love your comment. Love it. And you are SO right. Abundance can not owned. Abundance is gifted to us by way of relationships, love and sharing. I happily join you in the continual expansion of good. Thank YOU for being here.

Tammy - Jeffrey, we are on the same here. I enjoy disagreement. It gets the mind working and the juices flowing. But jealous hate speak is NOT something I will ever subscribe to. As you say…it serves absolutely no purpose. The real scary part thing here is the ultimate judgment levied by people based completely on my possessions. That is scary stuff. We are in agreement…I will keep writing and you can keep agreeing and disagreeing with me. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Melanie, funny you should say that, I’ve been thinking lately that social media serves so many ills in our society. I question it’s value as a contributor to the general good of mankind. So many have become slaves to their phones, sheep following a pack, hate mongers behind anonymity, and bullies that can intimidate from the comfort of their laptop. Don’t even get me started on the large social media efforts used by anti American governments. It wasn’t the insults that bothered me (crazy enough), it was the fact that I was being judged by my possession (which weren’t what they appeared to be). Once people do that, we are lost.

Tammy - Hi Cathy, thank you, thank you, thank you. I think as I’ve analyzed this to death. And the outcome is scary. Once people judge and condemn someone by the car they drive the house they live in, we are doomed. All of us. It’s crazy speak, really. And oh so dangerous, especially when mob mentality comes into play. When, exactly, did this happen?

Tammy - Maureen, WOW. Just, wow. THANK YOU. This was awesome. And so are you.

Kellie Ann Kennedy - Because Tammy is called bulling over courage social media . People grow a pair over social media and in reality would never have the balls to say anything to your face. Cowards use social media to blast or humiliate others…idiots out there. With regard to people hating those who have more. We can thank the political climate out there for pushing all things need to be “fair” really?? No life’s not fair people grow up and work hard don’t expect handouts.

Raven West - Tammy –

Unfortunately, that’s the cyber world we now live in. And it doesn’t stop with on-line commentary. I’ve been “hit” by spammers on Amazon who wrote scathing “reviews” of my books that never even read any of them. They just posted the same slam on each of the book review pages.

The saying goes there is no such thing as bad ink… true and the other one about sticks and stones and words… well, words can hurt. I once posted a negative commentary on Michael Jackson and nearly feared for my life by all the attacks that one received. I didn’t post anything for months after that!

It’s a very strange world out there, but we, as writers, can NEVER allow these jerks who don’t have anything better to do, to keep us silent. We cannot allow them to EVER win.

Keep writing, keep posting, let your voice be heard and try to ignore the loonies out there who will never know of have 1/10th of the success and support you do after all the hard work you’ve done to achieve it!

Pamela Wight - We writers/bloggers can’t let the negativity degrade, humiliate, or stop us. We writers need to — WRITE about our pains and our joys, our fears and our loves and hope for compassionate caring readers. Ignore the negativity, and just reach for the light.

Cheryl Nicholl - The kind of comments you received are partially the result of a PC society, where, unfortunately, only the bottom of the barrel feel the ‘right’ to espouse their hatred. The rest of us- we just have to take it. Or do we? You did good Girl. You just keep on being you.
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Tammy - Super interesting take on things, Kellie. I wouldn’t doubt that the political climate has added to the mindset of entitlement. Having that lead to the bully atmosphere isn’t a stretch. Scary stuff going on out there in the real world. If I can be so hated because of a car I drive, good luck to any of us! It’s not pretty.

Tammy - Raven (love that name!), the cyber world is getting increasingly hostile. It’s a bit of the wild west without the guns. Yet. I’m seeing a lot of anger, envy and venom in many peoples comments. Scary stuff. You have to wonder what is the incentive of a person to leave scathing reviews on people’s work. What is it they gain? Power? A better question would be: why is it tolerated by the websites that allow it to stand? This is not okay. Thanks for your supportive words. They mean a lot!

Tammy - Cheryl, I will keep on truckin’ but with an eye behind my back. Envy has a way of emerging in the nastiest of ways. Bought myself a mace bracelet. Dear God Almighty … don’t ask.

Doreen McGettigan - Politics and class distinction really is dividing women and the saddest part of that is when we are divided we cannot win.
We seriously need to concentrate on what we have in common and use that as a starting point.
I don’t know what is worse assumption or envy. Both are dangerous.
I am proud of you!

Carol Cassara - I have so many thoughts about this, way too many to share here. Maybe a cocktail. Love you.

Terri - You shared a great story about starting over, fear, and courage. Actually, it read to me as a story about optimism and hope, and not about those things mentioned in the comments. And the Huffington Post clearly saw the value in your story or they would not have published it. Besides, I recall you telling us in one of your seminars that controversy when you post is a good thing. So keep up your great writing and don’t let the few who didn’t like it outweigh the value you brought to everyone else! If they’re missing the point of your story, it’s their loss…

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
To quote the philosopher Taylor Swift, “Haters are going to hate, hate, hate.” You have worked hard for everything you’ve gotten and a divorce is rough.
(I just returned from a trip to Zimbabwe where we taught. They
have nothing, nada, no electricity, no supplies, no toilets.)
People will always be jealous in this have and have-not world.

Lee Lefton - Dear one, don’t get me started. You are light and love. Sounds woo-woo, but it’s anything but. My mother used to have a great line she’d say to me and my brother when we said something against the other. “You take care of you. That’s a big enough job.” Maybe there’s a post in there somewhere? Love you.

Carolann - That’s the net for ya – the wild west where folks can say whatever they like and hide behind a name. I wouldn’t let me bother me. It’s just words from stranges that don’t mean diddly to you.
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Janie Emaus - Don’t even read those comments! Nobody walks in your shoes, but you.

Jenn - Let me just leave this right here. I read your article. It only took me reading it once to know that it was none of what some angry, misguided people said it was. Perhaps that is because I had the pleasure of working with you, and continue to have the pleasure of calling you friend. It has become very easy, to sit behind a computer screen, or cell phone and judge others. To say hurtful things that were dreamt up by a head full of assumptions. They don’t know you for who you are. They don’t know that you worked your tail off your entire life to be where you are. They don’t know the struggles you faced, the heartaches you endured. They haven’t seen those beautiful eyes sparkle for someone else’s happiness. They’ve never seen them fill with tears for someone else’s sadness. They have never had you by their side when a friend was needed. Those unhappy folks have decided who you are and what you’re about based on a few snippets of your life. Should you have to explain all of that to them? Nope. Would it change their view if you did? Probably not. But guess what? That doesn’t matter…not to anyone who knows YOU for YOU. I love you my sweet Tammy <3

Tammy - Boy, Doreen, THAT is the question: what is worse, assumption or envy? I would say that they often go hand in hand. Dangerous and scary. When women put other women down it makes my heart sink. Yes, we should be lifting up and supporting. And if we disagree, we should do so with intellect, respect and honesty. Good grief…it’s a slippery slope!

Tammy - A cocktail it is! One day. Your city or mine, Carol. We will hash it out and solve the worlds problems. Love you too.

Tammy - Terri, great to see you here! Yes, I have often said that controversy breeds readership and notoriety. And it does. The utter unfairness of the judgment here slapped me in the face. And, frankly, frightened me a bit. If we have become a people who judge, hate and love others based on what they own, drive or where they live, we’re all in trouble! But, you’re right…if they missed the point, it’s not my problem. By the way, I LOVE it when students remember what I said. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Mel, did you really just quote Taylor Swift?? I kind of love you more for that! Thanks for the encouragement. Appreciate it tons. I wondered why I haven’t seen you around the block lately. What a wonderful trip you’ve been on. And what a wonderful service you gave. I’m sure it was very emotional. Kudos to you, my friend. As always, thank you for being here!

Sandra Rea - You know… I wrote an article on Linked In about this very Blog Bullying thing. Makes me mad for you actually. I’ve been reading your blog for many moons. I’d never have a bad thought about you. Seriously. People need to be mindful of their words, but in social media they can hide, they can say incredibly hurtful things, and they think no one can find them or respond. That’s not true. It’s pretty easy actually. And sometimes it’s even a little fun. ; )

Tammy - Oh, Lee, you warm my heart. Thank you for your sweet words. Truly. While I’ve never met her, I’ve got to tell ya…I love your mother! I’m using that quote for the rest of my life. It’s that awesome! Love you too. Lots.

Sandra Rea - BTW, there ain’t nothin’ easy about divorce… even if you get a decent car out of the deal. My divorce wasn’t one of those fairy tale adventures either. I lost everything and I’m still rebuilding. I have a pretty cool Jeep. That I bought. At a terribly high interest rate. Anyone jealous? I also had to go to the food bank and declare BK. Jealous now? We do what we must to get by, and we live by love and light. I don’t know you, Tammy, but I am proud of what you are accomplishing. Don’t let those bullies get to you.

Tammy - Thanks, Carolann. I like that “they don’t mean diddly”. Yeah, that’s in my vocabulary now. I will share that the internet has been looking far less attractive in the past year. The words “we’ve created a monster” comes to mind. Thanks so much for popping in!

Tammy - Thanks, Janie. No they don’t. Damn it! Thanks for reminding me of that!

Carole Schultz - I cannot understand those people who denigrate others for overcoming heartache and finding happiness again. So sad.
I’m so pleased you have, Tammy, and wish you and Steven every happiness.

Ande Lyons - Wow Tammy… those comments need a full blown burning ceremony complete with shots of tequila and loud singing!

I feel your pain and sorrow… and I’m holding you in my arms with a big ol’ Andelicious Hug.

My thoughts? It’s time for us all to re-read/read Don Miguel Ruiz’ The Four Agreements:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

That’s where I’m rollin’ … with deep appreciation and love for your journey and to all who have the courage to use their voices in a public format… MUAH!

<3 Ande <3
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Autumn Danielle Mowatt - I’m so happy I was able to get to know you Tammy and I miss spending time with you. You are one of the most amazing women I have ever known. I agree with you completely. It’s so sad to watch how people treat one another.

Tammy - Thanks, Carole! So wonderful to hear from you. Really. Appreciate the good wishes and the support!

Tammy - Ande, what a fire storm! Geesh! Love it … “a full blown burning ceremony complete with tequila shots and loud singing”! Perfection! I do love The Four Agreements. If only we could all live by them. What a world it would be. Thank you for being here, Ande. Love you for that!

Tammy - hi Autumn, so happy to see you here! I adored getting to know you too. I think you’re pretty awesome yourself. I hope life is treating you kindly and happiness has settled in your home and heart!

If Hell Has Palm Trees And Beautiful People …

Then we live there. A lot has happened during my month long (it was really 5 weeks but who’s counting?) hiatus, and we have some catching up to do. So let’s get to it. Jon Stewart is leaving The Daily Show (he never consulted me) and he and his wife, Tracey, are purchasing a large […]

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Rael Hall - Embrace your yoga pants and watch them simplify your life!

Kim Tackett - Thanks for the catch up. I read the opening Trump sentence as “he threw his HAIR into the ring”. HA! Stay cool.

Kathleen O'Donnell - I said the exact same thing about elastic pants and their relevance in my will to live. But, bought them I did. Bah, menopause!

Trump. P.T. Barnum running for President. Not much different than any other politician. I’m a cynic. He says he will change his hairdo if he wins. So even he must know he isn’t going to win!

Anne Louise Bannon - Welcome back! Yep, there’s lots going on. Thanks for helping us to laugh about it.

Judith Cooper Eton - My husband and I moved to palm Desert in May of 2013 and back to LA in June of 2014. I know exactly how you feel, give the place a chance. Lots of grist for your blog, I did not want to ruffle any feathers, so I was afraid my neighbors would read my blog, and be hurt. You should “just go for it”, chronically everything you see. Good Luck!

Haralee Weintraub - Weather in triple digits dismisses any questionable actions or wardrobe choices! Glad you are back!

Tammy - Thanks, Anne Louise. If we don’t laugh, we’ll die crying!

Tammy - I didn’t know Trump said that, Kathleen. Pretty funny stuff. Losing my will to live has been my catch phrase for the last couple of years. Seems to say what my moment feels. Ugh. Am also feeling a ridiculous kindred to Aunt Bee these days. God help me. By the way…loving the pants!

Tammy - I’ve heard this kind of story before. Summers here can be killer. Hoping I survive my first one without too much whining. I sure do love the rest of the year here. The people here are awesome. Yup, lots of grist for my blog. Fortunately for me, I don’t give a damn who I might offend. Love it or leave it … a motto I live by. So happy for the read and the comment Judith. Thanks!

Tammy - I like YOUR version better, Kim!

Tammy - I SO agree, Haralee! Thanks for the validation. Happy to be back!

Shirlene Marquis Vitale - Hey Tammy, My friends moved from Parker to Joshua tree? about 8 years ago and they loved it. Why? I just don’t think I would love it so much. Different kind of beautiful there for sure. Wear your sunscreen and hats, clothing may be optional or minimal in that heat… Love ya sis. Mike and I may have to come and visit on our next trip to California…..

Laura Lee Carter - Ah yes, isn’t moving glorious in our 50s and 60s? We finally move into our foothills home the end of this month, and that will be the last move for us ever! Hurray!
LOL about the elastic waistband pants! I’ve been wearing them for a while now…yes my waistline changes that often and that fast lately. I’m hoping settling down in our new home will help me with my new and improved diet! Yeah right!
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Natine - Totally enjoyed reading your re-entry! National news not so uplifting, but your take on personal issues entertained me, and entertaining me is one of my top priorities. Don’t feel bad about the elastic-waisted pants; yoga pants are just old lady pants passing themselves off as trendy athletic-wear. 😉

Cheryl Nicholl - You’re the only thing I wanted to hear about! Now for the Mathematics of Hell 1) Heat & Humidity = bad hair (though your new cut is adorbs 2) teeth grinding + night guard = Life 3) Elastic waistband + comfort = yoga pants 4) floral mumu’s + pearls= good look! 5) seeing you naked = the neighbors LOVE you! Loved this post!

Barbara Hammond - Glad you are settled and back to blogging. I know I couldn’t take that heat, but if you can I’m happy for you. I think Trump will provide more people with more laughs than any *ahem* politician in history!
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Carol Cassara - The great thing is that it doesn’t matter how long we are off the grid, shit happens and we have even more when we get back. Congrats on settling in!

Sheryl - Hot in the desert without shutters, giving your neighbors a thrill? Surely better than all the depressing news these days.

Lisa at GrandmasBriefs - Blech on the desert. Too hot! Colorado beckons!

Trumpster… chumpster! Another BLECH!

I have no doubt you’re rocking the mouthpiece. Good luck with the grinding!

Glad to have you back in the blogging world.
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Joan Cooper - Two things……

1. I would like to hear if the Hispanic community has an organization that helps its’ own illegals ? Why hang all that on the American people who can hardly hold their own in this ever more expensive world.

2. I have one objection to ‘same sex’ people. They like to MOCK. The idea to take an ancient word like ‘marriage’ which means man and woman for better or worse, instead of calling their lifestyle something else. That’s all… one cares what they do, but we do care what pot all are lumped in. Also it is really not a matter for courts. It is a social issue. Too bad they had to rub everyones’ nose in their ideas. How tolerant.


Doreen McGettigan - Welcome Home! I am so happy to hear you are settling in but yikes those temps. My husband lived in Arizona and said don’t believe what you hear about the dry heat. triple digit temperatures are hot.
I hope your blinds get there sooner than later.
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Tammy - Hi Shirlene, sunscreen and hats are a big part of my everyday now. Good tips! Moving sucks no matter where you go or how far. All I can say is that the next time I move I won’t be lifting a finger. Not. A. Finger! Done with that! Be sure to let me know when you are in SoCal!

Lois Alter Mark - Glad to hear you’re settling in, and hope the temperature goes down soon! So much going on, my head is spinning!

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, if there is a new and improved diet, you be sure to share it with me. I feel like if I ever moved again (this one made my 13th) it would be a decade too soon. Beyond exhausted. About my new elastic waistband pants …. I secretly love them! Good luck in your move. So excited for you!

Tammy - Hi Natine, so happy I was able to entertain you. My daughter would always tell me that I’m a party all by myself. I always thought it was a compliment (probably not so much). Haa! I’m loving my old lady pants but still can’t get over the stigma of it all. Meanwhile I’m thinking about going back and buying another pair. Good God!

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, I’ve missed you. One day we really MUST meet IRL. Thanks for the validation, I needed that! I’m still not sure any amount of jewelry (am I really saying this out loud?) could enhance a floral mumu. As for the pants … I’m secretly loving them.

Tammy - Hi Barbara, happy birthday! I’m not sure yet if I can take it either, but I’m giving it all I’ve got. I love this place to pieces 8-9 months out of the year. Summers are rough, and I’m a pansy. A wilting pansy. As for Trump, I foresee good blog fodder. Silver linings!

Tammy - Hi Carol, boy, does it ever! Happy to be back and happier still to be unpacked!

Tammy - That’s one way to look at it, Sheryl. I’m still laughing! I guess it’s all pretty funny … in a pathetic kind of way. so happy to have you here!

Tammy - Lisa, happy to be back! I miss Lone Tree every single day. Except maybe those days I’m watching the news and it’s having the blizzard from hell. Because I’m now a SoCal pansy. Trump is a sideshow. The real problem is, he doesn’t even know it. It’s always something!

Tammy - I tend to agree with your husband, Doreen. Until lasts week when the temps were high but the humidity higher. Thought. I. Was. Going. To. Die! It truly makes a difference. But he is right…heat is heat! I’m hoping our shutters get here fast. I’m sure my neighbors hope so too. *embarrassed*

Tammy - Hi Joan, I’m sure there are many Hispanic organizations that offer legal aid. I think we have to agree to disagree on the same sex issue. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it should be illegal. Equal rights run across the board. We cannot be a country that withholds rights against someone because of their skin color or sexual preferences. In my humble opinion it is absolutely a court matter. If we left it to society, we’d still have lynching’s. Fairness is a train we all need to ride. Happy to hear from you. Hope all is well in your world.

Joan Cooper - We disagree. Same sex whatever has never been a legal matter – it has always been a social matter. Their desire to join the word marriage to their world is to mock – nothing less.

They could have come up with another term and obtained legal rights such as inheritance etc, just as well and no fuss. Instead they overstepped and the liberal majority of the court upheld them. So sad.

I am too revolutionary for your polite blog.

I would love to hear what the Latino community is doing for its’ own.

We need to forget “politically correct” and see behind the motives. We are experiencing these days, the effect of the Civil War which was NOT to free slaves. The government left them to starve. If the government caught them walking over the Mason/Dixon line in Kentucky, the government took them back to slavery ??? The Civil War was a giant step by politicians to break down States’ rights and nationalize a rich nation.

Joan C

Joan Cooper - And why legalize someones’ sexual preferences ??? What does that have to do with governing?

Who cares what they prefer. They just love to “mock”, Tammy.

Haven’t you ever seen their parades ?

I really do not want to know anyones’ sexual preferences….anyones – that is their business. Who cares ?

Joan C

Carolann - Yep! You’ve highlighted all the high points of the news with one or two exceptions. It’s overall pretty depressing, but the news generally is. As for elastic waisted pants…well…I gave into those a while ago and I must say I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I love them! Not my jeans though…I won’t dare go there! Not yet anyway lol
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Yvonne Jasinski - I hate watching news mostly because of how it is delivered. Too much show not enough substance. I prefer your style!

Rosalind Warren - What a fabulous read. From now on, I’m getting all my news on your blog. I somehow missed the fact that Jon Stewart was starting an animal sanctuary. WHAT A GUY!

Carmen - Hi Tammy,

Missed you!

Extremely proud and happy that my MEXICAN GRANDMOTHERS, both paternal and maternal had the courage to travel from Mexico to the United States of America during the Pancho Villa times.

Thru their courage, my family and I would not have such a wonderful life.

And furthermore, Mexicans are not the only IMMIGRANTS! And neither are they all criminals, etc. etc.

If this is the way Mr. Trump feels re: Mexicans, obviously he is a discriminating individual. And the rest of the immigrants (from all over the world) take note…this man would like to be the next President of this marvelous, wonderful country of ours.

Thank you Tammy.

Shelley Zurek - Nice recap, sometimes I forget all that goes on (or maybe I am just ignoring it all). I truly DREAD the election period, I feel like it’s “57 Channels and nothing on”…like Bruce says.

Tammy - So well said, Carmen. Immigrants helped to make this country great. There is no one who can deny that. Trump showed his bigotry, but worse than that…he showed tremendous ignorance. No worries, the American people are too smart to vote him in. The more he talks the better it is for the country. How else would the people know what he stands for? Papa would always tell me that if I wanted a job well done, hire a Mexican laborer. Their work ethic is amazing, they show up rain or shine and they get the job done without complaint. So far….he was right on the money. The funny thing is, if we take the time to look back into our history, most of us would find that we too came from an immigrant family. I too and proud and happy that your grandmother ventured into the unknown. My life has been richer for it.

Tammy - Thanks, Rosalind. I think I love you!

Tammy - Haaa, I think I prefer yours as well, Yvonne. Stop by any time and we can dish to the dirt together.

Tammy - I’m SO happy to know that so many of my peers have purchased elastic waistband pants! THRILLED. I thought I was the only one. It felt so much like a “sell out” but I do love wearing them. I fell like I’m walking around in my jammies. So I’m now wondering…do they come in any other color. Funny how quickly comfort takes precedence. for the record … if I found elastic waistband jeans, I’d be all over that like white on rice!

Tammy - Joan, I don’t believe for a moment that gays wish to mock us. It’s NOT about legalizing sexual preferences. It’s about equal rights. It’s not up to states, businesses or individuals to determine what rights they will lend to someone who is different from them. That is called BIGOTRY. An ugly, ugly word. It’s clear that you feel very strongly in your beliefs. I leave that to you. But know this, America was built on the idea that all men are created equal and should be given equal rights when it comes to all legal aspects. Period. No where does it say “unless you happen to love the same sex”. I know many wonderful gay people who contribute a great deal to our society and our world. I wish for them to share in the equal rights that marriage offers. I stand with them in celebrating this landmark decision. This country is stronger for it. My opinion, and I’m entitled to it.

Carolann - I had to pop back in and reply to your reply about the jeans with elastic waistband…if you ever find a great sure to let me know too! LOL
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Tammy - That’s a deal, Carolann!

Jeffrey Davidson - Welcome back!

Yes a lot has happened during the last 5 weeks. Hopefully you will adjust to your new residence and get past the worst weather portion in style.

As always, you have a fun and interesting manner in the way you approach various topics.

Don’t look forward to the florals and pearls. It doesn’t have to happen.

Don’t worry about the shutters. If your neighbors can’t enjoy the view then let them look the other way.

Trump, another story. He looks intelligent, but then the speed of light is faster than the speed of sound. Once he opens his mouth you hear why he is not as intelligent as he looks.

Your feelings of tolerance are to be applauded. Even though I agree with you, equal rights is equal rights. What is to say that if your religious beliefs are different then you shouldn’t be allowed to express them? My minor disagreement is that it should not have to be “gay rights,” but just equal rights for everyone. The word “marriage” may have been a traditional one but traditions and times change and evolve.

I try, and hopefully succeed, to judge people as individuals based on their character, honesty, trustworthiness, etc. If you are the same, color, religion etc. as I am but are dishonest, insensitive, etc. then I choose not to associate with you.

I don’t like or dislikes groups of people based on race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. but rather, I like you because of your character and what you as an individual represent.

As always, keep writing the way you do and don’t change it, unless your are evolving!

Tammy - You are SO right, Jeff! It shouldn’t have to be considered “gay” rights. It should just be “rights” equal for all. In a perfect world. We can only hope and strive for it. I’ve come across my share of homophobes (hate that word) who justify their beliefs on the “traditional” phrasing. Bunk. It’s not the phrasing that offends them. It’s the same sex orientation. Not everyone has an open mind or an open heart. Acceptance of that fact is necessary in order to deal with it. I agree, traditions evolve. Thank God for small favors! I’m with you…I judge people based on their character and how they treat me and others. Life becomes pretty simply that way. And pretty honest too. Laughing at your take at my neighbors. Thanks for that!

Joan Cooper - Good point, Jeff. I don’t entirely agree that they only care about equal, but let it go. WWW does not like dispute so I bow out.

Tammy – take me off the mailing list. Being barred from answering on WWW about a topic is censorship. I don’t want to be a part of that.

Joan C

Tammy - Hi Joan, dispute is always welcome. It livens things up around here. I have NEVER barred anyone from saying anything and I resent the implication. It is simply untrue. All comments are uncensored and live. I will happily honor your request and remove you from our mailing list. Have a good week ahead.

Karen D. Austin - Well, I am glad to see that you didn’t forget to pack your sense of humor in the move and glad to see your wit wasn’t damaged at all in the process. All my best to you as you get to know the neighbors without or with blinds.
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Ruth Curran - I don’t think you will ever turn into Aunt Bea!!!! My favorite new saying (thanks to you and this piece)? Uber ironic! Just love it!!! Looking forward to next week’s installment!

Cynthia Greene Jordan - YAY! You’re back! I’ve missed reading your blogs….and as usual, you are right on target. I’m very happy that our country is acknowledging and respecting equal rights for all. I have a wonderful sister in law that has just given us another sister in law to love!

Tammy - Hi Cynthia, SOOOO happy to see you here. It’s been ages. Congratulations on the new family addition. It takes on a whole new meaning now. Nice to know that our country is moving forward despite ancient prejudices. Miss you!

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time ….

Change might be good for the soul but it’s a bitch on the body and the mind. New beginnings are awesome. Painful … but awesome. I’m still waiting for the awesome part to kick in. Three weeks of being submerged in bubble wrap, 19 rolls of packing tape, 84 boxes and at least a ton […]

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Kaye Curren - Dear Tammy,
We don’t really start a new life because we always take ourselves with us to the new place – and it appears you have. (Just Kidding – I would too.) I’ve been trying to move to Myrtle Beach home of surf, great writer college, watercolor week twice a year, and wonderful retiree hideaway for several years. The thought of doing what you are doing is the reason I haven’t.

Although I live on the east side of town in the lower rent district, I panic if someone suggests I move. Everything has its perfect place and it took a long time to get them there.

Good luck with your move and hurry up because I am planning to find the bucks to have you critique my writer’s presence online.
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T.O. Weller - Tammy, our planets must be in alignment! It’ll be my turn next week! Only, we’re moving to a forested acre of land on a lake rather than the desert.
We’re currently in packing mode, dividing items into “storage”, “sell” and “keep by my side” piles. When we leave our home next Thursday, we too will be homeless, after which we will be “camping” on our new land, in a new town, while the house gets finished before our eyes.
While I pack, I have also donned a “project manager” hat, scheduling and budgeting for the various trades, making design decisions and all the while hoping no one lets us down (haven’t we all heard the renovation nightmare stories?).
I’ve already learned that we will be Internet-challenged, so I’ve mapped my route to the local library until I can sort that one out. I also find myself stocking up on everything, like I’m moving to a disaster zone (I’m not sure why, but maybe it’s a survival instinct?).
I am sending you a big, long hug … and raising a glass to new beginnings. :)
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Evelyn Marshall - There’s always a squelcher to top a story. Our home was flooded because I left the faucet running upstairs for an hour. We spent 77 nights at the Best Western.

Kathy @ SMART Living - Yay! Congratulations Tammy! I know that you are in the midst of the move and that can seem daunting to anyone–but you will survive! And you’ve picked an AWESOME place to live so the outcome will definitely be worth it all. And one thing I know for sure is that you will so-o-o appreciate your new home once you get moved in and settled. Sometimes it takes a big shakeup like you’re going through to really, really appreciate the outcome. I’m looking forward to meeting you in person here in the desert…and if you need some advice about happy hour I’ll be happy to share what I know! ~Kathy
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Risa - Oh, Tammy–I hope the time will pass quickly so you can move on and begin the next chapter. I also hope you won’t look back (except to write about it!) and will just embrace the new home with a giant sigh of relief. Beep, beep!

Carol Cassara - It’ll all be worth it in the end and this pain will be only a memory!

Adela - Yee-Gads! The things we take for granted. I want a TiVo for my radio. How do you do it?! Soon it will just be a memory.
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Tammy - Hi Kaye, I feel your concern… big time! I know this story will have a happy ending. Looking forward to it … any day now! Myrtle Beach is a beautiful local. You must muster up the nerve and DO IT! Would love to work with you on your writer’s presence! It’s my thing!! Keep your fingers crossed for me that the time will just fly by! So happy to hear from you!

Tammy - Oh, T.O., hand on to your hat. It all sounds like such a worthy adventure! And a forested acre near a lake, well, it doesn’t get better than that! Go to Verizon and buy a “hot spot” for your internet. We would be dead in the water without it. I’m clinking glasses with you, my friend … to new beginnings! Hugs!

Tammy - Hi Kathy, I didn’t know you lived in the desert. What town? We will be settling in LQ but presently reside in PD. It’s a small place, I don’t think it takes more that 25 minutes to get front one end of town to the other. A BIG adjustment (thankfully) from Thousand Oaks and L.A.! YES, we must absolutely meet up when I get my head out of the hole in the ground. I’m looking forward to it. Happy Hour … here we come!

Tammy - Rosa, no looking back for this gal! Not my style. I spent a few years looking in the rear view mirror… done with that nonsense. I’m so looking forward to getting settled. It just seems so far away. One day at a time! Thanks for chiming in…. love hearing from you!

Tammy - You are so right, Adela. I never thought I’d miss my TIVO. I mean talk about spoiled! I don’t watch much TV but I do have my program addictions which I TIVO. Not any more. Think I’ve missed all the season finales. Damn! I wish that was my only gripe. This too shall pass. Can’t wait for that! Thanks for popping in and sharing!

Anita Dzirne-Irlen - Having moved 30+ times in my life, I feel your pain. The only thing that moving has taught me is downsizing. Because I live in New York City and rent, I’ll probably be moving again soon. If I downsize anymore, I’ll have nothing. If you think I was “one-upping” you, I was. :) It will soon be over.

Anita Dzirne-Irlen

Tam Warner Minton - okay, Tammy. Put the cats in a cat hotel, grab your dog and go on a road trip!

Malissa Kendall Myers - Your timing is great, were thinking of moving and looks like this summer sometime. I was just laying here crying thinking I don’t want to leave this house or get rid of things. But it means being closer to friends and my brother. I’m in a small town and moving to a bigger one with traffic, fast pace, and more crime does not thrill me. I just don’t know if this is a good idea. Emotionally I’m a mess from double knee surgery and the drugs maybe the reason for the tears today.
I hope you will be happy where you are moving , the sun shine sounds good. Take care!


Nancy Fletcher - You’re moving to New York??? Does that mean no more LA lectures, seminar chats?

Joan Cooper - NEVER NEVER DOWNSIZE. You did not ask me.

Downsizing was my own worst disaster. In a life full of mistakes that was the biggest one. If I had not done that, I would be a millionaire living in a one story large house instead of a 2 story with my crippled legs. What was originally bought for $185,000 is now worth a million. How I remember those sunsets over the Santa Monica mountains.

Lotsa luck and byeeeeeeewe


Laura Lee Carter - I hear you Tammy!
But try sitting in that same holding pattern for a YEAR while all the “builders” in dumb-fuckville try to find their asses with both hands!
Now you see what we’ve been facing in southern Colorado for almost a year! Excuse my French, but I have really had it!
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Ruth Curran - It does get easier and actually the not knowing where you will land, once you embrace it, is a bit freeing — or so I told myself for a very long time :)! Breathe, be kind to yourself, and keep your animals close and all will be well!
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Tammy - Hi Joan, no, did not ask you. But we had our hearts set on it. We are moving to a lovely one story home in a gated community with all the amenities. Very excited! Except, of course, for the heat. Not a fan of the extreme heat. UGH. Steven has told me how lovely your home was and how he wishes you had stayed there. So, you are both on the same page. You are not alone in making mistakes throughout your life…. we are all there with you. I’m hoping our move does NOT fall into that category for us!

Tammy - Oh, dear, Laura Lee! A year?! I’d be out of my mind. I understand French and speak it fluently (giggling) How close are you to completion at this point? My heart goes out to you big time. I’m so looking forward to 2 weeks from today!

Tammy - Hi Ruth, it’s all one big adventure – ready or not. Being kind to myself is awesome advice. Amazing how hard we are on ourselves. Bah! We will all stick together, furry and otherwise. One big happy family!!

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
Having NOT moved in 37 years, I forgot what a hassle it is. Your displacement,while annoying,is only temporary, and I admire your courage in moving in the first place.
And why are you making this move?

Sharon Greenthal - I am surrounded by boxes and bubble wrap as I write this! We are moving into a construction zone – we won’t have a kitchen for quite a while – but we are very excited. Good luck with everything!
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Doreen Mcgettigan - I moved 8-years ago when I married my husband and it was SO hard. I missed my home, my family, my stuff and my friends. Fast forward and I have never been happier in my life. This will all pass and you will be home in no time at all. Try to rest up for the unpacking.

Carolann - It’s such a chore to move. Me and the hubby said we both gonna die here lol it’s that exhausting. It’s fun too as you said new adventures and that part is exciting. I also love the idea of redecorating a new home too but for now…I’m good lol. Good luck and rememnber..this too shall pass :)
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Meryl Schwartz Baer - When the unpacking is done and the exhaustion past, you will love your new home. Moving is always stressful, but the end result will be so worthwhile…

Tammy - Mel, we are making a new and fresh start for OURSELVES. We love the desert (not so much in the summer) and thought to ourselves “why wait until we want to retire, let’s live for the moment and make it work”. And so… we will. Moving to a one story home (HOORAY!), beautiful open floor plan, guarded gate and lots of amenities. Let us hope and pray that we have many years of happily ever after. By the way, Steven had lived in that home for 22 years. NO picnic sorting and moving!

Tammy - Sharon, here’s to new beginnings (holding up a glass of champagne)! It is beyond exhausting and is quite tedious but truly our future prospects are exciting. Good luck with all that lies ahead. I know it will be wonderful!

Tammy - Doreen, such sage words, thank you! YES, I will rest up for the boat load of unpacking that awaits me. Getting excited!

Tammy - Thanks, Carol Ann (my computer wouldn’t acknowledge your name as one – grrrr). You are right, of course, this will pass. It just seems like it’s been such a LONG haul. Excited for the future AND the decorating fun to come! Woohoo!

Sheryl - I know just how you feel – we did it two years ago and at the time, yes, it’s upsetting in many ways and tough, too. But you will be so, so happy once it’s all settled…I promise.

Tammy - Sheryl, moving is the pits. So is sitting in a hotel room with your pets and just waiting, waiting, waiting. BUT, you are right … it will all be worth it once we are settled in our new home and new life. Pretty excited about that!

Haralee Weintraub - I hope time goes quickly and it will all be worth it once you are all settled in!

Cheryl Nicholl - I feel your pain. Yes- it’s all good- it will work itself out, but GETTING there can be challenging. The few times we’ve moved- we’ve moved BIG- new states, knowing very few. These were the hardest things I’ve ever done but also, ultimately the most rewarding. And I know you know that, but I’m still going to give you a [[hug]]. XXXOOO

Barbara Hammond - You’re living our 2014! This time last year our city house was sold and all that ‘stuff’ put in storage. We moved into our beach house while it was being sold and when that happened we still hadn’t found our ‘forever’ home in Cape May, so that stuff went into storage and we moved to a rental short term. With 2 crazy dogs, I might add.
When the final move finally arrived it was head down into renovation and plaster dust for about 2 months. ALL of that was worth it!
You will be so happy when it’s all settled and done. I know the stress, but it’s worth it! Hang in there. I’m toasting you now!
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Lisa at GrandmasBriefs - Oh, yeah. This would make ME crazy, too. I got all tight in the chest and feel a little bitchiness coming on just by reading this. HUGE hugs to you and best wishes for permanency to come your way soon!
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Toni McCloe - I had to stay in a hotel room once for more than two weeks and it was just as awful as you described it. There was nothing homey about it. Good luck Tammy. The best is yet to come.

Tammy - Oh, THANK YOU, Barbara. I love being toasted to! Your move sounds uber complicated. My hats off to you! Happy to hear that it was all worth the anxiety. Thanks for sharing it with me!

Tammy - Haas! Thanks, Lisa. I battle the “bitchies” and the tight chest thing daily. This has been the longest move in my history and I’ve had a dozen to call my own. I’m so over this waiting business I could scream…. or…. grab a cocktail and chocolate brownie bites.

Tammy - Thanks, Toni. I love the reassurance and hope that you are right on. I brought with me our 5 live plants and have strewn then around the hotel room to help make it homey. No such luck (I couldn’t pack them in the storage or they would die). No matter what I do, it’s a hotel room. If I didn’t have the animals I’d be out (in this heat) running around checking places out. But noooooooo! Argh! Better days ahead! Thanks for sharing!

Nancy Hill (@Nerthus) - I’ve lived in the same place for 25 years. I can’t imagine moving, or living in a hotel with my husband, dog and two cats… for any length of time. You are a STRONG woman, Tammy!
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Tammy - Thanks, Nancy. Becoming less strong by the minute! We celebrated our one week anniversary here last night doing laundry with two paper cups and a bottle of wine. Good times!

Estelle Sobel Erasmus - I know it’s rough now, but soon these bleak days will just be an old memory.

Lois Alter Mark - Moving, like all change, is hard. We moved across the country 16 years ago and, although we never would have imagined living on the West Coast, it was one of the best things we ever did. Wishing you lots of love and strength and patience!
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Sue - I always think about how much I want to move and looking forward to a new area, but as I get older I know I will miss my home ground when we move. Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom along the way to a new life.
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Mary - Moving is never easy! But, I’m sure not far in the future this will be but a distant memory.
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Tammy - Thanks, Estelle. Counting the days… hours…. minutes! Someday we will look back at laugh at all this. Just not today. Haaaaa!

Tammy - Sue, I miss a lot already BUT am looking forward to forging new memories and new haunting grounds. Mostly… just looking forward to getting out of this hotel! Pretty sure the pets are too! So happy to have you pop in! Thanks for that.

Tammy - From your mouth to Gods ears, Mary. Appreciate the read!

Kimba - “I’ve come to the conclusion that leaving a life behind is never easy, no matter how anxious you are to start a new one.” Agree, it can be difficult. First things first: Happy Hours in the Palm Desert area: Wish I was there to buy the first round.
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Cynthia Greene Jordan - Oh I feel your pain. We are remodeling our kitchen and master bath and being without a kitchen for the past month is grueling to say the least. I learned quickly to eat on paper plates after washing dishes in the bathtub! We’re trying to adapt and not eat out every day as that can be pricey…but having only a grill and a microwave isn’t my idea of being a creative cook…trying to sell our old appliances to no avail…keeping our frig in the dining room for convenience. It’ll all be over in a few more weeks for me and for you…and it can’t be too soon.

Tammy - Hi Kimba, you are a wonder! THANK YOU! These recommendation are awesome. I knew about a couple of them but happy to have the list. Woohoo!

Harriet - This is really exciting! It is great when you move forward to a new place, a new life! Moving process is always pretty stressful but as long that it’s over you will forget the stressful moments and you will remember just the excitement! :)I wish you all the best! Greetings, London Removals Ltd.

Dear Daughter, there is something I want you to know …

 I’d give anything if you could remember how we have grown together through the years. The 3 a.m. feedings, the changing of thousands of poopy diapers, cleaning vomit stained clothes, and not going out to a restaurant for over 2 years. I call them the days of learning that happiness came in very small and […]

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T.O. Weller - Tammy, how do I tell you how touching this is without sounding absolutely sappy?
Reading this triggered my memories of motherhood and raising my son, with many of the same questions, challenges, and triumphs. But mostly, the love.
It’s a bittersweet feeling; I miss those times and yet I’m also thankful for where we are today … and looking forward to all that is to come.
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Marilyn tichauer - It’s hard to see with big tears in my eyes………..Just Beautiful!!!

Kim Liebman - That was beautiful Tammy, I hope you have the Mothers Day that you deserve!


Barbara Hammond - What a sweet and loving tribute to your beautiful daughter.

K. Lee Banks - Thanks for sharing this very touching post and tribute to your daughter! I have four adult “kids” – including three daughters – and one of those daughters is now a mother herself of my two beautiful granddaughters.

I would love to borrow this quote, and attribute it to you:
“When I celebrate Mother’s day, I celebrate you. Without having been your mother, I would have missed out on some of life’s happiest moments.”

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
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penpen - you’ve captured exactly how i feel on mother’s day–that it’s a day to be thankful I have the children I have and, whatever the challenges of time and distance, the loving relationships we have. The feelings of appreciation go from me to them.
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Tana Bevan - *sniff* *sniff*
*sniffle* sniffle*
Congrats! (Sounds like you will soon acquire the “Grandma/Nana/Grammy” moniker?!?)
*hugs* *lots & lots of hugs!!!!*
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Joan Cooper - A truly beautiful Mothers’ Day memorial.

No one has your way with words. Not even me with my horse.


mel glenn - What a lovely, lovely love letter to your daughter. She SHOULD know, or at least be aware of, all the work you did. Children leave, that’s the way of things. I am sure she loves you, but not as much as you love her. She should take this post and have it framed.

Tammy - T.O., sappy is highly under rated. As moms, our memories get triggered all the time. To miss those days with our children isn’t to say we don’t love the lives we live now. Days of long ago hold whispers still….and I am always listening. So happy you are here. Truly.

Tammy - Sweet Marilyn, so glad you are on the other end. Thank you for your words. They mean a lot. Not the first time we have cried together. Probably not the last. Love you. xo

Tammy - Hi Kim, thank you. I hope the same for you, my darling friend. May we ALL have the Mother’s Day we deserve. For each of us it’s different, but it will always involve love, acceptance and gratitude. We stand together, you and I.

Tammy - Hi K. Lee, of course, use the quote in good health! It’s clear that you have many blessings. Have a wonderful celebration of you and your children. As my daughter would say: every day is Mother’s Day.” Yes it is.

Tammy - Penpen, you are so right….whatever the challenges of time and distance, loving relationships endure forever. I am so glad you dropped in. Appreciate the read and the caring comment!

Tammy - Hi Tana, not acquiring any such moniker for the time being. Didn’t mean to imply it. Simply that one day … whenever that day is … she will understand everything that is as yet unexplainable. I’m sniffling along with you and sending lots of hugs right back at ya!

Tammy - Hi Joan, my dad would call me a wordsmith. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. So happy you enjoyed the read. I happened to know your heart felt words are beautiful … especially when it comes to your beloved horses. xo

Tammy - Hi Mel, you are SO right, children leaving IS the way of things. Of course she loves me, but I sincerely doubt that any child could love their parent more than their parent loves them. That is the way of things too. Missing what we had is a blessing and a curse. But it doesn’t mean for one moment that I don’t love and cherish my life right now. Color me VERY blessed indeed. Thanks for being here. I love hearing from you. Hope all is well with you, my cyber friend.

Doreen Mcgettigan - She is so beautiful and what a beautiful letter. I just wrote a letter for my daughters 40th birthday (OMG) coming up in June telling her how much I miss her, our conversations and her needing me. It is so hard to get used to and lonely.

Carol Cassara - How sweet is that? Lovely, my dear. Lovely.

Carolyn Durandette - Big tears in my eyes as I try to type this. I admire you for all you’ve done! I think you are both beautiful!

Gina Kane - Beautiful post, and had tears streaming down my face to!!

Cynthia Greene Jordan - You’ve done it again Tammy (sniff sniff)..such a beautiful tribute to motherhood…never having had a daughter, I can honestly say that my feelings towards being my sons’ mother is quite the same!

Cathy Chester - Sniff, sniff. Oh, you’re there. After reading that I had a nice little cry. Okay, this is a beautiful post and so true. I miss the days of little ones around, but am proud of the person my son has become. Your daughter is blessed to have such a mom as you. Enjoy and embrace Mom’s Day, Tammy. With so much love surrounding you! xoxo

Cheryl Nicholl - My God I’m tearing-up. Just beautifully ‘put’ my friend. I also have seen my children grow and leave the nest, only to land a thousand miles away. I often times wonder what it must have been like for all the mothers that watched their children get on a boat and cross great oceans without any communication and never to return. Mothers are amazing.
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Rosalind Warren - “Separate lives have never meant separate hearts.” Well said! Going forward, I know I’m going to quote this line.

Lisa at Grandma's Briefs - So beautiful, Tammy. The post AND your lovely daughter. So exactly how I feel about each of my daughters. It’s hard to put into words how very happy moms are for kids who have grown and gone, how very proud… but how very much our hearts long to connect more often, hug more often. Sweet, sweet post.
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Tammy - Hi Cheryl, mothers ARE amazing! I’ve often wondered the same about those mothers who willingly gave their children to strangers so they might survive. I can’t even think about it … my heart starts to palpitate. A mothers love knows NO bounds. Always happy to have you in my neck of the woods. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Lisa, I think it’s in our nature as moms to always want more time and sharing with our kids. God certainly has a sense of humor to ask us to give everything we have, everything we are for 18 years, then BAM!, let it all go. Let’s just say that when I pass a mother bird in her nest feeding her new brood I try to warn her about the pain of having to teach them to fly and fell the nest. They never listen. It’s probably better that way.

Helene Cohen Bludman - So lovely, Tammy — your words and the photos made my eyes fill. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

Janie Emaus - That was so beautiful. I hope you’re a grandmother one day and can experience even more love and joy.

Mary - So beautiful, thank you for sharing! You have inspired me to write a letter to my first born. Happy Mother’s Day, Tammy!
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Cheryl Shaw - Happy Mothers Day! We are lucky to be mothers and have great kids. We want the best for them and will always love them and worry about them, no matter what.

Tammy - Thanks, Helene, hoping it was a most wonderful Mother’s Day for you.

Tammy - Hi Mary, so happy to have been a bit of an inspiration. Writing to our kids is a keepsake of love. I adore the idea. Hope it was a wonderful day for you. So appreciate you stopping by ad sharing with me. Truly.

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, you said a mouthful. Yes, yes, and yes. Hope you had a great Mom’s Day. I know you deserve it!

A Very Personal Post – The Other Side of Fear

Twelve years ago I was broken. I had just ended a 29 year marriage, sent my only kid off to college, and was left broke and unemployed with the cats and the dog to feed. Not exactly my life plan. I was alone for the first time in my life and filled with fear. I […]

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Judith Eton - So glad I read this, I am about to be alone for the first time ever in my life, as my husband wants to move to South America and I can not face another move. I will have to start over and I am scared. It is nice to read about a happy ending even if it is a long time in my future.

Tammy - Hi Judith, happy endings do happen. Especially for people who least expect them. South America is a BIG move. I hope you both can work it out. I’m pulling for you!

Lisa Diegel - So happy for you! Have thought about you many times since a saw your S.C.O.R.E. Presentation a while back. Hope to see you soon!

Evette Goldstein - I am so happy for both of you! I miss seeing you, Tammy, but am delighted to keep up with you via your blog.

Lynn Tarson - I have always had a special place in my heart for Steve and am so happy he has finally found THE ONE! I wish you both health, happiness, and long lives together.

Marilyn Tichauer - Even though I know the “Story”, along with my morning coffee your story brought me morning tears

Suzanne Gray - I love this story sooo much! It’s raw, honest and romantic. Thanks for sharing it. Reading it made me happy.
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Melanie Kissell - Your love story and mine are parallels, Tammy. Goosebumps!! I smiled all the way down the page. :)

Donna Ainsworth - Thank you for sharing this wonderful story! You give hope to all the single (past 50) women who sometimes want to give up on the dream of finding love again. Bless you! And Congratulations! you deserve it!

Kim Curtis - Loved this! Your story was filled with risk, resilience and love! Tribute to the “next” in everyone’s life who is open.

Laura Lee Carter - Yes Tammy Bleck, your story is the perfect example of do-overs before it’s all over, and sounds so much like my awakening to love ten years! Isn’t life grand?

Joel Goldberg - Tammy you write so personally and honestly. You are an exceptionally gifted and wonderful person. So glad our paths have crossed.

Tammy - Thanks, Lisa. It’s so nice to be thought of. I hope you make it to SCORE’S Expo in June. Love to see you there. Hope all is well on your side of the fence. So great to hear from you!

Anne Aria Tichauer - Tammy, this blog really touched my heart! I know you and I talked about this but to read this, is precious. You bring encouragement with a twist of humor! You are a great writer!

Tammy - Hi Evette, thanks for that. We still look at the picture you so gracefully monogrammed for us. Beautiful! I’m SO happy to know you are on the other side of my little blog. *smiling*

Tammy - Hi Lynn, I kinda have a special place in my heart for him too. From your mouth…to Gods ears! Hope to see you sooner than later!

Tammy - Oh, sweet Marilyn, we are sisters from another mother you and I. Some stories warrant tears. We share that in common. I love you, and am happy we spent some time together this morning via my little blog. xo

Tammy - Thanks Suzanne. I kinda like it too. It wasn’t easy getting here but the journey was well worth the reward. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. It means a lot. YOU made me happy today!

Tammy - Melanie, are you sure we’re not related?!? Goosebumps are awesome. And so are you! So happy to know you through the pages of life’s walk! Hugs!

Linda D'Ae-Smith - Love this! Very inspirational.
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Tammy - Hi Donna, it felt good to share my story. All of us single women past 50 should hold on to the hope that life will treat us right and we will find our happiness. Finding love again wasn’t on my radar. In fact, at the time, it felt like an enormous inconvenience. That was my fear stopping me from opening up. If we face the fear, happiness can’t help but be headed our way. So happy to hear from you. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Thanks, Kim, so happy you enjoyed my story. Yup…there was a boatload of risk and many people advising me against the move. Resilience and love go hand in hand in our quest to find the things that matter to us. It takes courage and vulnerability, to be sure. But once fear is pushed aside, ALL things are possible. Thanks so much for being here and for sharing your comment. Truly!

Tammy - Laura Lee, life IS grand! But it must be said that my path here was paved with a river of tears and bucket full of fears. Life calls upon us to grow up and face our demons. When we do, we are rewarded with goodness for the taking. So happy for us both!

Tammy - Hi Joel, so wonderful to see you here on the other side of my little blog! Thank you for the kind words. The feeling, my friend, is quite mutual. You are a delight and a pleasure to know, and I am grateful for the opportunity! Awesome having you here!

Tammy - Thanks, Linda. I was shooting for gut honest … but inspirational is pretty awesome too! So happy you enjoyed the read.

Tam Warner Minton - Love it. And I love the truth you put so well:The truth is, life offers no guarantees. Risk is part of the bargain. Knowing when to jump in or run from, is a crucial life skill. If there is anything I know for certain, it’s that nothing is for certain.
That is one lesson I have learned along the way.
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Kathy Gottberg - What a great story Tammy Bleck! Thanks for sharing it and I look forward to meeting you and your LOVE here in La Quinta….it is a GREAT place to be together with someone you love. And as you say, happiness is less about the destination than it is the pursuit!

Billie Jo Baptiste - I was blessed to be a part of your life during the “broken and rebuilding” phase! I am so happy that you found the love you so deserve! He is a lucky man to have you:)

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
What a super romantic story, how lovely!
Who says one can’t have a crush for 40 years? Have you read, “Love in the Time of Cholera”? The main character, Florentino, carried a touch for his love for over 50 years As a romantic,
you should read this South American classic.
A very sweet column

Barbara Hammond - What a heartwarming story, Tammy! So happy for you both. We never know what the master plan truly is, so we have to be open to fate. After 38 years of marriage I was one day away from leaving when he was diagnosed with lymphoma. Trauma, coma, you name it happened and when we came out on the other side we discovered we still loved each other. Never looked back!
Enjoy the next adventure!
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Tammy - Thanks, Mel. I never quite thought of it as romantic, but I can see that now. Nope, never read that story but you can be sure I will be picking it up. As always…thanks for being here!

Tammy - Oh my gosh, Barbara, that is quite the story. Blessings to you, my friend. You are right … NEVER look back!

Tammy - Thanks, Tam. Just a little wisdom I picked up along my travels on loser lane. I live by it still. Appreciate the read and the comment!

Pamela O'Mack - What a lovely story, Tammy, which I’ve heard you tell, but it’s something about expressing it in written words that makes it so very special. I love you both and wish you both a wonderful happy and healthy future together as man and wife! Love, Pamela

Carol Cassara - I so get what you are talking about. Your story is wonderful testimony for women of any age.

Lisa at Grandma's Briefs - Love, love, LOVE this! Such a fabulous testament to listening to one’s gut, taking the leap, risking it all and coming out on top. And happy. And in love. You’re an inspiration. Cheers to the rest of forever together!
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Cheryl Nicholl - I so love that you said he’s everything you deserve. I wish more women (people) had the courage and wisdom to navigate their lives the way you have done. God Bless you both. I adore you for writing this. XXOOO

Cathy Chester - OMG, I just read a love story. The ending? Happily ever after! I am so happy for you. Your poured your heart out for us, and trusted us to know that you are a smart and sweet woman. You are truly blessed. Thanks for sharing your life with us, Tammy.

Sue Cove - Love this…I keep thinking my knight is still out there….when I meet up with him…I hope he is like your Stephen. You so deserve happiness and love!

Tammy - Thanks, Pamela, the day is coming. My story was so sad and broken. I took the time and energy to fix my life again and no sooner had I done that, that Steven walked into it. My blessing to be sure. We are lucky to have each other …. and a friend like you. xo

Tammy - Thanks, Linda. SO glad you enjoyed my story. If it inspired … even better! Appreciate the read and the sharing!

Tammy - Hi sweet Sue! We ALL deserve happiness. I found that when I stepped aside and let life happy with me instead of at me, it all kind of worked out. I’m pulling for you and hope that until you find your knight, your happiness is your company. xo

Nancy Hill (@Nerthus) - What a wonderful story. I think of the “usua”l story of women divorcing and falling into poverty. Nice to know that doesn’t have to happen.
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T.O. Weller - Thank you for sharing your story Tammy. “Happiness can always be found on the other side of fear.” I LOVE that … and needed to hear it.
Our house will have a SOLD sign on the front lawn any day now and we’re leaving everything we know for a beautiful piece of lakeside property and a house to be finished before the snow flies (in Ontario cottage country).
Just when I didn’t think anything could scare me anymore, something does. But, it’s our dream, so it’s time to face the fear and find our happiness. :)
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Sue - caught my attention on FB and I am so glad it did. Loved reading your happily ever after – take a chance- story.
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Carmen - Hi Tammy,

Great share, just great!

Life is special as you show us …. it is!

Keep up the great reads.

Linda Lichtman - For Our Tammy…
Your dreams are our dreams…to keep moving forward until there’s an arm around a shoulder – to hold it – to love it – to know the DREAM is real – that’s what we get from you – daring, loving friend…xoxoxox

Tammy - Hi Nancy, it was certainly a fear of mine. A big one. That … and how was I going to go through life alone. Daunting, scary and sad. But, when you give yourself time to cry it out then move forward with positive intent…good things will come your way. Happy you enjoyed the read!

Tammy - Hi T.O., dreams are always scary! What would be the point of them if they didn’t scare us? It’s because we are moving out of our box, going where we dare to dream is a better place. I’m SO happy for you! I’m betting it will be wonderful and you will never look back. Such are dreams come true! Appreciate the read!

Tammy - Hi Sue, I’m glad it did too! I was a take a chance story, thought I never really thought of it that way. Calculated risks are still risks! Gambling only counts when you have something to lose, and I had plenty. Luckily, it all worked out beautifully. Thanks so much for popping in from FB. So glad you did. So loved the Home tour.! It was awesome!

Tammy - Hi Carmen, good to know you are still out there reading! Comforting! Love knowing you are there. xo

Tammy - Hi Linda, thank you so much for your kind words. Means a lot. You are right, of course, we keep moving forward hoping that good things will find us. It’s hard to remember that dreams can come true when you are so broken in heart, mind and spirit. Suffice it to say it took some doing and daring to keep myself above water. I know I’m not alone. That’s why I wanted to share my story. Against all odds love has found me again. And I will be forever grateful. xoxo

Shirlene Vitale - I love your story! I am so glad that I was involved in unfolding of it with you. I remember the nervousness you had when you flew out to see Steven the first time. You came back very hopeful of a great friendship again and possibly more.

When he came here to see you it was another time of butterflies and nervous excitement. Fun to see you find him again. When you left Colorado I knew I would miss you. But I also knew that the future with Steven would hold many adventures and wonderful experiences for you both!!

Glad to hear that things are great between you and that God must of have a plan for you both. Blessings and much happiness my friend!!! And yes… I still miss your face. I may have to make a trip out to see you both soon… Enjoy Life dear friend!!

Bernice McDonald - Thank you, Tammy, for sharing your wonderful story with us! What an inspiration. I have been 3 years into my own amazing story similar to yours after a 24 year marriage break-up so I know what you are talking about. My heart is to see hundreds of stories like this and my passion is to do what I can to move women from the place of fear and hopelessness into the arms of a wonderful relationship. Let’s keep letting others know out there that it IS possible!

Cheryl Shaw - Hi Miss Tammy———loved your blog AND the pictures!!!!!!! You and Steve are an adorable couple who look so happy——–how exciting to be moving to a new house. WHEN IS THE WEDDING??????? I do sooooooooo miss you but am also so glad to know you are happy with your forever guy

Tammy - Hi Shirleen, SO WONDERFUL to hear from you! Yes, you had a front seat to all that was unfolding. And, yes, I was a bit nervous before flying out to see Steven after 40 years. Who gets on a plane to see an old friend after 40 years?? I guess I do. I feel so blessed and so loved every day. Color me grateful. Miss your face too….and you perky little smile of yours. Happy to know you are still on the other side of my blog. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, I do so miss you too but am ever so happy here with my forever guy. So much going on … am a packing fiend these days. Not sure when the wedding is … but it’s coming! Miss and love you …. lots. xo

Bryce Warden - What a great story….happy for your happiness. Lot of wisdom in this piece.
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Tammy - Thanks, Bryce. So happy to have shared it with you! Appreciate the read and the comment!

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