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Love Is A Fickle Bitch … Sometimes You Just Get Lucky

What is wrong with this picture? I swore I’d never marry again. But then again, I also swore I’d never drink tequila with the band, adopt more than one cat, or wear a strapless bra for as long as I lived. Needless to say, I’ve done all of them. Five weeks ago I married my BFF […]

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T.O. Weller - Wow Tammy!! Losing your mom on the same day as your wedding.

For celebrating the love you and your Steven share — congratulations!!

For your loss — I am so sorry.

Your perspective exemplifies the wisdom that comes with time and experience. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Life is meant to be lived & loved, and death is a reminder to savor the moments, rather than a show stopper … at least it should be.

Looking forward to meeting you at BAM!! (8 more sleeps!)

Lori Bachman - Tammy I love your post. Tender, truthful and a joy to read. Blessings to you and dear Steven. 🙂

Carol - Beautiful

Kim Tackett - Tammy, I am so sorry for your loss, and so delighted for your love.

Barbara Hammond - You managed both ends of the love spectrum at once and did it beautifully. I’m sure your mom was right there with you and so very happy for you. Congratulations on finding true love.
b

Vicki - You write as beautiful as you looked on your wedding day to your “Steven”. What a glorious day it was. ❤️

Rick Dean - Beauty, grace, confidence, trust, and most of all the love for each other as well as love from friends and family is what Jody and I saw.
We morn the loss of your Mom, and rejoice in the fact she left this world knowing you found your heart once again. Your stregnth was reflected in your family which also carried this secret with respect.
Good job Mom, good job Tammy and also to you Steve.
Love you

Carol Cassara - Lovely. And all best wishes to you and your true love. It’s a great thing, indeed, to find the right guy!

Tammy - Thanks, T.O. It was a double whammy. And you are right, of course. Death IS a reminder to savor the moments and should never be a show stopper. Still, it stops us in our tracks and our mind scurries to catch up with our heart. Tough deal. So looking forward to meeting you IRL! Yes… 8 more sleeps (LOL!).

Carmen Clay - So sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved mother. Congratulations on your marriage to your BFF! You have truly inspired me to believe that it’s never to late to open your heart to happiness. You’re truly
an inspiration to those of us who have shut down being open to romance and enjoying that aspect of life again. Thank you so much for the wake up call. I’ve got some true living left to do.

Tammy - Thanks, Lori. It’s been a long time coming. Happy to be Mrs. Steven Weiner. *whew*!

Tammy - Thank you, Kim. As am I! Funny how life works. So often the happiest of times is mixed with the saddest. We learn so much from it all. I’d like to yell that I’ve learned enough. Appreciate the read.

Tammy - Thanks, Barbara. I hope and pray you are right about that. It’s a lovely thought. True love always seems to find a way. Thank God for small favors! Thanks for being here!

Tammy - Thanks, Vicki. Happy to know that no one knew my ‘secret’. The timing was horrible, but I guess there is never a good time to say goodbye. It was a good day nonetheless. And I couldn’t be happier about that! xo

Tammy - Hi Rick, thank you for this. Life serves it up whether we are ready of not. It was a beautiful day, and nothing could take away from that. I hope that she sees that we are happy together and that my heart is settled. One can hope.

Tammy - Hi Carmen, you are SO right, it is NEVER too late for a heart to be open to love. I closed my heart for years. I don’t think I wanted to be bothered, nor did I trust that there was anything out there for me. I was okay with that. Once I was open to everything and anything, life turned a wonderfully wicked turn, and rewarded me. Thank you for your condolences. I so appreciate you being here.

Karen D. Austin - Oh, my. I applaud you for managing your emotions on your wedding day, given the news about your mother. Thank you for sharing your journey and your mature reflections on love…and that great photo of the cake. Yum!

Stacey Joy - This is a testament to what happens when NOTHING can block the peace that was meant for you. I have found myself thinking lately about the mistakes of my first marriage at 22. Then I read your blog and it is confirming what I always knew. I was just too young! Happiness comes again and love envelopes a mature heart in ways that can only be experienced. I’m truly beaming for you and your marriage. I’m also deeply sorry for the loss of your mom. But yes, now she’s with you even closer than in body, but in soul. God bless you!

Tam Warner Minton - How lovely. And incredible that you were able to put your grief on hold and move forward with joy.

Andrea Bates - Oh, Tammy – what a painful loss to experience on a day filled with such joy. I’m sure your mom was with you in your heart and I’m so glad that you were able to feel so much love with those who care about you surrounding you on this special day. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Maureen Musgrave Armentrout - I’m so sorry for your loss – but thrilled for you and Steven. What a beautiful tribute!!

Tammy - Thank you, Stacey. I was 23 when I first married. We know very little about life and love at that age. But we think we know it all. Kudos to us for giving it try. For trusting and loving. It didn’t work out, that’s okay. I’ve discovered that love later in life is so much more relevant, meaningful and responsive. Not that it wasn’t awesome in our youth. Oh, no, it was. But we tend to view things very differently without any life lesson under our belt. Life, as they say, changes everything. And I couldn’t be more grateful for it. Thank you for your kind words. Truly.

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,

Mazel Tov!

Love can come anytime, anywhere. You are indeed fortunate to have had it twice. Coincidentally, we are doing many “love” poems in my poetry class, and I am sure you can write one of your own. All my best for this new beginning.

Carole Schultz - So sorry to hear of the loss of your mum, Tammy, but with all the love around you I am so happy you had a beautiful day. Loved the cake, by the way!

Tammy - Thanks, Mel. I’ll leave the poetry to YOU. I do love new beginnings. You have to admit, that out of 365 days a year, the odds are against having your day of betrothal be the day that my mom passes. The best of days and the worst of them too. Life is mysterious in so many ways, isn’t it?

Lisa Tarson - Congratulations to both of you, a Perfect & Beautiful couple. Loved the photos, you both looked Fabulous! Looking forward to seeing you both soon to celebrate your new life together. We are so Happy for the both of you!
Lisa & David

Grammie Time - Congratulations and what a bittersweet day that must have been. So sorry for the loss of your mom. This is a beautiful story and I wish you many wonderful years together.

Carolann Iadarola - I love your story! It’s so beautiful and inspiring. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost mine too so I know the pain. I lost my dad two years ago as well. You look stunning and I know you will have so many happy years together!

Rosalind Warren - “It was less of a gamble and more of a blessing.” Lovely. Great post. Made me happy to read it. 🙂

Tammy - Hi Lisa, thank you for the kind words! It was a day to be remembered, that’s for sure. We DO hope to see you sooner than later. Fingers crossed. Celebrating life together (as a family) is where it’s at! xo

Lisa Carpenter - Oh, such extremes, both ends emblazoned with love. I’m so sorry for your loss. And so happy you grabbed onto that happiness that fell through the cracks. You’re an inspiration. Best to you. My condolences, too.

Helene Cohen Bludman - Oh Tammy. I was loving your post until I came to the part about your mother passing away. I can’t imagine the range of emotions coursing through you on your wedding day. Hugs and best wishes and may you and your new hubby enjoy many years of happiness together.

Robin Westmiller - May your second marriage last as long as mine… 35 years and counting!! All the very best to a wonderful, talented and BEAUTIFUL woman and her very VERY lucky new hubby!

Cathy Lynch Lawdanski - Beautiful story and I’m so happy that you found love again. The mature kind, like you said. So sorry you lost your mom. The losses make the blessings all the more sweeter because we appreciate them more.

Mary La Fornara Gutierrez - Congratulations, you are truly a beautiful bride and the epotime of a gracious woman, sparing the emotions of your family and friends. I am so sorry for your loss.

Courtenay Cassel Brinckerhoff - So sorry about your mother, but it sounds like you were at peace with her too. I love this perspective on a non-giddy wedding day.

Corinne Rodrigues - Thank you for sharing your love story, Tammy. My condolences on your Mom’s passing. What a brave decision for you not to tell people about the loss of your Mom. But I’m sure your Mom was there in spirit.
You look beautiful in your dress!

Lois Alter Mark - Wow, if there was ever a reminder that life is full of extreme highs and lows – sometimes at the same time. I hope your marriage is full of the highs.

Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski - Congrats on finding love again and embracing it. And so sorry for the loss of your mother. You handled it beautifully and she was there in spirit.

Leanne Le Cras - that was beautiful and you are so happy and content – I just feel happy for you in response (and sad that you lost your mum too)

Tammy - So well said, Lisa. It was a strange sensation. But, all in all, it was a lovely moment in time for us. That is what I hope to remember. Appreciate the read!

Tammy - Hi Corinne, thank you for your kind words. It was a beautiful day, to say the least. Life is for the living, after all. It was wonderful for me/us to be surrounded by family and peeps we love. Made all the difference in the world. Thanks so much for being here.

Melissa Westervelt - Your gift of the written word is amazing. I am sorry for your loss and love your positivity for the future

Tammy - Thanks so much or that, Melissa. I am so very happy to have you here. Thanks for that too!

Kim Jorgensen Gane - Oh, Tammy. I’m deeply, deeply sorry for your loss and I stand in awe of your strength. Happy for your found love and all the beautiful things that come with. xo

Julia Daniels - Congratulations! BEST WISHES for a wonderful future!

Elin Stebbins Waldal - Tammy, Needless to say I am so sorry to hear about your mom, I admire the strength you brought to your special day and that you could feel her, along with other loved ones you mnetioned, in your heart and around you too. I too believe in second chances, in fact my second chance and I just celebrated 21 years of marriage. I am so happy for you. Congratulations and many happy returns to you and your groom.

Sarah Massengill Harris - I love your truth in this story! You give me hope! 😀
So sorry about your mom!

Tana Bevan - WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! About time!!!!!! I remember when I first met Steven. He was recording your IWOSC presentation in Los Angeles. It was so beepin’ obvious he adored you and loved you passionately. That it took you so long to walk down the aisle, well, that’s simply you being stubborn you. That you finally walked down the aisle shows you’ve come a long way. So happy Steven got his wish. There can be no doubt the man has patience. I’m sure it was (and is and will continue to be) well worth it … both for him and you. CONGRATS!!!!!!

Tammy - Tana! So great to hear from you. When it comes to relationships, I’ve never been impulsive. Once burned, twice as smart. Steven was and is a blessing to me. At the time, I just didn’t see a reason to marry for the blessing. I’ve changed my mind and heart. Can’t imagine life without him. Grateful every day that he didn’t take no for an answer, and how he makes every day my best day. We couldn’t be happier together, and yes, I have come a long way. But then, my dear, so have you. I’m so happy for the both of us. Sending you love from afar! xo

Down But Not Out!

You know those life events that take you out? Yeah, that’s pretty much how I have spent the last few weeks. I recently went in for what I told myself would be minor hand surgery. A bone was removed from my hand, some tendon work done and carpal tunnel fixed. A slam dunk when you […]

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mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
I was wondering what happened to you; now I know.
What is remarkable to me (who faces some medical issues of my own,) is your remarkable sense of humor. You must have been in pain, but you were able to see the “up” side of this experience.
Also, you saw you were not alone and were able to trust a valued partner. All the kudos go to you.

Evette Goldstein - YIKES! Glad everything turned out so well!

T.O. Weller - Welcome back Tammy!!

I can’t help but feel empathy pains when I look at those photos and yet, not once do you mention the pain.(Isn’t it great when you find guys that are actually keepers?!?)

I was also checking the BAM conference schedule this morning and there you were! Can’t wait to see you in person. 🙂

Gail Mills - What a story…I was wondering what happened to you. Missed your humous insights regarding life and things. Happy to hear you are doing well now! Looking forward to your… Witty. Words of Wisdom.

Hope Drahos - I loved this one — especially picturing Steven saying he feared losing an eye 🙂 Love, devotion and humor. You have it all <3 <3 <3

Kaye Curren - Tammy! You’re back. I missed you! I kept saying, “Where is Tammy?” I hope she’s all right.
Love this blog post. You have learned to lean, and Steven has learned to step up.

Melanie Kissell - Gotta hand it to you (pun intended)! 😉 You’re a trooper, Tammy. XO

Betsy Cobbs - What an experience! You certainly prove the old adage about humor being the best medicine! Loved this post. Glad that it all turned out well and that you gave in to accepting help. And that you had such a super doctor!! Welcome back!

Marilyn Tichauer - OUCH!!

Tammy - No kidding! It was a super ouch for a while. But I’m on the home stretch! xo

Tammy - Hi Gail, so happy to have been missed! Am on the mend and will get back to my regularly scheduled random rants. So happy to know you will be on the other side. Thanks for that.

Tammy - Hi Mel, I’ve missed you! Yup, there was a lot of pain. Much more than I anticipated. I marvel at the technology and the genius of my surgeon. There were plenty of down sides but they all seemed to be pretty funny when you live them. But the big payoff is a new hand and a man that I have learned is very “leanable”. How wonderful is that?!

Tammy - Hi T.O., yup, it will be such fun to present at BAM. Vegas, baby! I never looked at those pictures until everything was out of me and I was over the hard spots. If I saw the extent of it, it would have freaked me out more. It was uber painful at first but when faced with either laughing or crying….I’ll choose a giggle ever single time. Looking forward to meeting you IRL!!

Barbara Hammond - Bless you both! I’m a terrible ‘patient’ and I understand the frustration. This looks really painful, but you look beautiful. Happy healing!
b

Kathy Gottberg - Congratulations on your new hand. Not a fun trip to get there for sure but I’ll bet it will be so worth it when you are all recovered. Plus, isn’t it awesome to see how much our sweeties love us? I think you are going to BAM in April right? Look forward to meeting you in person. ~Kathy

Lisa at Grandma's Briefs - The letting go and letting someone else do it is hard, hard, hard. Congrats to you for managing it. And figuring out how to best manage your toilet paper. The hubby-to-be AND the hand surgeon sound fabulous. You’re clearly in safe hands on both fronts.

Continued healing thoughts headed your way as you reach the point of better than ever!

Laura Lee Carter - LOL Tammy! Now you see why I did my M.A. thesis are the fine art of asking for help…we’ll all be needing this skill sooner or later!

Tammy - No kidding, Lisa. Super hard! At least it was for me. Creativity was the name of the recuperation efforts. Tough business being so unable to care for yourself. Tough on both of us. But we mostly laughed our way through it and he was pretty damn amazing. There is medal for this man somewhere!

Mary La Fornara Gutierrez - I’m so glad you are felling better. Seems like hand surgeries are a thing for me right now. Handsome is have both of his hands CT done in one surgery and I need a fatty deposit taken off of my right wrist. I just haven’t found a surgeon I like. I think I’m going to give yours a call. Your post came at the perfect time! I’m glad you had someone wonderful to take care of you.

Tam Warner Minton - Oh, that looks really painful! UGH. I hope I never have anything happen to my hands!

Haralee Weintraub - Glad you are on the mend! Icecream is truly a healing potion!

Terri Quenzer - Great story Tammy! Hopefully you are right-handed? If so, that’s a blessing and things could have been even worse (LOL)! I’m glad you are on the road to recovery and have two such great guys to help you get there!!! : )

Lee Lefton - Geez, Tammy,

That sounds like one huge ordeal! Mostly for Steve 🙂 Glad you’re back in business, though, as I’m sure he is.

Anne is having total knee replacement on Monday so yours truly will be handling all of the cooking (which I do already), chores, chaufferuing, etc. for at least a month and maybe longer.
I can’t wait.

And I thought retirement was going to be easy….

Jeffrey Davidson - Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Cheryl Nicholl - I’m on my way to my second hand surgery for carpool goddess surgery ( correct spelling btw)’ I love it when I can manufacture an emergency that forces me to shut-down and be served by the minions. You should think yourself lucky!

Tammy - Thank you, Mary. Hand surgery was a bit more than I expected. Our extremities are very sensitive. I’m sorry to hear your pending issues. Keep your sense of humor and a stash of chocolate with you at all times. I highly recommend Dr. Glenn Cohen. His specialty is hands/wrist/elbow. Truth is, I traveled 300 miles to see him and I’d do it again. Yes, he is THAT good. Take care of you and keep me posted on how you are doing!!

Tammy - It has been a bit of a bitch, Tam. I hope you NEVER have any problems with your hands. We just don’t realize how much we depend on them for damn near everything. Be well!!

Tammy - You bet it is, Haralee! Comfort food is highly under rated. So glad you enjoyed the read. Ever so happy to have you here!

Tammy - I so agree, Terri, it could have been worse had it been my right hand. Something tells me I will find out before this life is over, as I feel the similar pain in my good hand growing. Oh, woe is me! I will put it off for as long as I can. Having these two fabulous guys in my corner has just made my life that much better!

Tammy - Lee! An ordeal it has been, my friend. NOT awesome. I’m mortified to hear of Anne’s pending surgery. Good news is that it is so common these days…a slam dunk, as they say. 3-4 days in the hospital and you are walking around like an athlete. You are SO right, Lee, it is the caregivers that do all the work. God bless you! Steven saved me, in more ways than one. I am beyond happy that you both have each other. Blessings like that are rare. Love to you and to beautiful Anne. Retirement? What the hell is that, anyway?

Tammy - Cheryl, I had carpal tunnel surgery last year on my right hand. It was a cake walk. I expected this to be as well. Truth is, it kicked my butt big time. I was rendered completely incapable of so much, and the pain was extreme. Hard for a controlling little busy body like me. I don’t have minions (can I borrow them next time?) but I was waited on hand and foot. And, yes, I consider myself extremely lucky! Thanks for being here!

Angela Douglas Mager - You have learned some valuable life lessons with this ordeal, for sure. And, so has Steven!

Carol Cassara - Girl, you have the life! These stories just had me rolling in my chair, practically, anyway. Steve and the bra is a classic!

Nancy Hill - OMG. Hilarious and enlightening post. I really loved the part about the pajamas, neighbors and can of dogfood. Classic example of what we will do for our furbabies. Reading the bra story, I kept hearing the line from A Christmas Story, “You’ll put your eye out!” Glad you are getting better!

Estelle Sobel Erasmus - Oh dear. So sorry you had to go through that. At least you have a great support system!

Lois Alter Mark - Oy. So glad you’re back and glad your hand will be as good as new. Looking forward to you using it to keep writing!

Helene Cohen Bludman - Oh my goodness, Tammy! The visual of Steven losing an eye is priceless. Thanks for the laughs, but I hope your hand is back in action soon!

Linda Lichtman - Just found this fabulous post…just in time…letting go are you? I’m presently being weaned off of sleep meds so even putting one foot in front of another is challenging…Letting go turns out to be so much easier than the fight of holding on…so glad you’re on the good side of healing…I’m hugging you…

My Dear Fellow Christians …

It was bad enough to be an apologizing Republican, now I have to be an apologizing Christian too? Good God Almighty (pun intended) people, what the hell has gotten into you? You’re offended with the Starbucks holiday cup because it doesn’t say Christmas to you, so you have declared that Starbucks is “waging war” on […]

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T.O. Weller - You know, I had no idea what people were talking about yesterday. Suddenly posts about coffee cups, what’s really important in the world, and Christmas were popping up all over my news feeds.

When I found the root cause, I couldn’t believe it. Really?!?

We talk about the extremists in other countries like they’re so frightening, like they must be stopped at all costs, like they threaten our very safety and security … is this not just a little extreme?!?

I also wonder … every country, every religion, every family, typically has at least one person or group who sees the world in a strange and sometimes twisted way. I grew up with the idea that it was best to politely ignore them and not let them bother me nor give them the fuel to continue. When did such insanity become the sort of thing to go viral?!?

Laurie Oien - Amen!

Laura Lee Carter - Yeah Tammy! We have turned into a nation of silly whiners, who have no idea how some suffer while we whine about the color of a cup.
I wish to see as much outrage over the fact that 500,000 Americans in midlife (age 45-54) have killed themselves in the past few years, because they couldn’t see any reason to go on. Or how about the veterans who are killing themselves at an alarming rate.
Oh, now I see why we worry about colored cups. To confront reality is just too threatening to our safe little world…

Carmen - Amen. Amazing that as Christians we believe we are created by GOD…that includes an incredible “brain”.
We are misusing our God given brain!

The Ninth Commandment is designed to prevent slander and perversion of justice. So.. do we know what Starbucks intent was in the design of the new beverage cup? So as good Christians we stand in judgment? This could be considered a form of slander!!! In either case as Christians we are taught not to stand in judgement…

What will be next

Kimba - “Don’t we have plenty of real problems in this world that you should be focusing on?” BINGO. I swear when this comes up in tonight’s debate, oh and you know it will, my head is going to explode.

Demi Seres - Unfortunately Starbucks seems to be that which was the watercooler in offices oh not so long ago. There is more socializing along the remnants of emptied strewn half sugar packets and gallons of spilled coffee in the trash than a decent conversation of opinions in the workplace. This is where people are throwing down the gauntlet and it is pitiful! I agree make your coffee at home and smell the real problems in life. Act like a Christian and use your energy to solve problem not create them!

Tammy - I am offended at least twice a day, T.O. I shrug it off and move on. But this stuff is just plain ridiculous. And places such a black smudge on the word “Christian”. I mean, really! Hard to believe that people follow this kind of thinking. Scary to think about.

Tammy - Thanks for the support, Laurie. Grateful for the read and the comment!

Tammy - Point well made, Laura Lee. It’s all so crazy and I’m so over it. I know that many peeps don’t agree with me, but all I’m really asking is for people to be reasonable about things. Is it really that hard? Geesh!

Tammy - Hi Carmen, I can’t explain this phenomenon. I am at a loss. There is always someone standing on a soap box uttering stupid stuff. But to have so many jump on the Stupid Wagon and have the media propagate it, well, it’s beyond crazy. You’re right….we need to use our brains. As to what’s next…I shudder to think!

Tammy - I hadn’t thought about tonight’s debate. Oh, God, I’m right there with you…outrage will pour out of every pour of my body should this subject come up. I can barely stand the stupidity of the followers of this new spotlighted non-issue. God help us all!

Tammy - Hi Demi, they ARE throwing down the gauntlet (love that phrase)! And it’s beyond insane. Either someone is serving some pretty strong Kool-Aid or people area walking through life with blinders on. Either way…scary stuff! Thank you for the read and the comment!

T.O. Weller - I hope you didn’t misunderstand me … I wasn’t perplexed by your post, but more by the way this coffee cup story became so big in the first place.

I understand why you responded — it needs to be done when it gets to this point. As you say, it’s ridiculous.

Mary Lanzavecchia - Like you, I am disgusted that a red cup became a battle cry for a collection of Christians. And, like you, I wrote about my disgust. My hope is the tides are turning and the backlash will take root and spread far faster than the silly message a red cup declares war against Christmas.

Tammy - I totally got you and so appreciate the share! Perplexed is a good way to put it. Followed by outrage and the idiocy of it all. Good grief!

Tammy - Hi Mary, a cup as a battle cry … how crazy is that?! I enjoyed your sharing and the memories your brought forth. There is a reason for the season, and it has nothing to do with a coffee cup!

Anne Tichauer - Tammy, you nailed it again! Always a pleasure reading your articles.

Anne

Susan Melchiori - I personally knew nothing of this until today. To hear about it, then to read your column, Right on Tammy!!!!! I think I need to go to Starbucks and get me a red cup o Joe!

Jeffrey Davidson - As always, beautifully written! Unfortunately there are too many other problems in this world that are far more important than the color of a coffee cup. Continue promoting to enlighten people and hopefully they will learn to think better.

Tammy - Thanks, Anne. Always good to see you on the block. It’s a pleasure writing for you! xo

Tammy - I am going to Starbucks later tonight, Susan. When they ask my name I’m going to say “ChristianLovesYourCups”. BUAHAHAHAHAHAA I was born a rebel. Appreciate the read, thanks for that!

Tammy - Thanks, Jeffrey. Happy you enjoyed! If only it were that easy. Happy to see you here, my friend.

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
Not being Christian might disqualify me from commenting? You think? Naah. What a funny, passionate, witty column, loved it. I like the season, the carols (see Pentatonix version of “The Little Drummer Boy”)and proclaim your right to drink coffee in any cup you prefer.

Linda - Perfectly Perfect!

Ande Lyons - Thank You Tammy!

You captured the whole fiasco and bundled it up into a frothing double shot of WTH.

As usual you elegantly and eloquently wrote what many us were thinking… whew… LOVED. EVERY. WORD.

I especially love the Facebook comment by Rael Hall:
“I am grateful that I get my coffee in a cup, not in a cupped hand.”

A delicious conversation has begun – blowing you kisses filled with appreciation, love, Peace on Earth and Joy to the World!

Ande

Tammy - Cathy, you crack me up. Many Jews love the season and many Christians love Hanukkah. I am marrying a Jew and we observe Shabbat more often than not. Yup, this conversation is an insult to intelligent people everywhere. I’m with you….let’s move on!

Tammy - Hi Mel, let’s order up a couple cups of java in red disposable cups and solve the worlds problems, shall we. Would welcome the opportunity. This topic, however, would be on the bottom of the list. As always, wonderful having you here!

Tammy - Some people have more time than brains, although I can’t quite figure out how. I agree, Wendy. Stupid is as stupid does!

Tammy - Lindala! So lovely to see you here. Happy you enjoyed the read! Thanks for that. xo

Tammy - Luke, I’m familiar with the hymn but clueless about the dress.

Tammy - I adore you outlook and thank you for it. I loved Rael’s comment too. Speaks volumes. Conversation is a good thing. Some times these things need to be said out loud! So happy to have you here, Ande. xo

Jane Harms - Finally! Someone willing to tell it like it is. Let us all “get over it” and focus on consequential issues and let go of the inconsequential nonsense. Enough is enough.

Judith - It is about the spirit of the celebration. It has not been commercial free since the Romans got hold of the pagan festival and turned it into Christmas.
Be good to each other and forget about the coffee cups, except to wonder if they are being recycled properly.

Tammy - I could NOT have said it better myself, Judith. THANK YOU! So happy to have you here!

Tammy - It seems to be a time in history well all kind hearted, politically smart minded people are apologizing. We should ALL get REAL! Thanks, Carol!!

Tammy - Thank you, Karen. Appreciate the read!

Tammy - One of the many, many reasons to love America: freedom to make your own choices! And it was Starbucks choice to use a simple red cup. Respect goes both ways. Regarding the coffee, Starbucks isn’t for everyone!

Tammy - Thank you Richard. Appreciate the read!

Fear & Marriage Go Together Like a Horse & Carriage

  Marriage. The word hasn’t crossed these lips for years. I wrote a book (quite a successful one I might add) about the virtues of being unmarried. I am the poster child for living single past 50. Since my divorce, I’m afraid of marriage. There. I said it out loud. Let’s digress. I moved in […]

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Laura Lee Carter - Good for you Tammy! It’s always a good thing when love wins out over fear! It took me years to believe in love again, but not so long to decide to marry Mike at age 50. And ten years later my life is 500% better than it ever was before!
But when you think about it, marriage is not the question, trust is. I’m just glad I finally found someone worthy of all of my love and trust…

Maryjo Morgan - Happy for you and Steve that you found one another again … and are not going to lose one another again. 🙂

Oh, I SO understand the fear. Getting UNmarried is painful no matter what the circumstances. As in PAIN FILLED.

When I remarried, the only thing I could do was decide what exactly we were contracting with one another. And wrote up a pre-nup. I felt calmer then, that we had negotiated at a head level to protect ourselves at the heart level That will be 17 years next month.

You’ll be just fine! Many healthy, peace-filled years to you and Steve!

Billie Jo Baptiste - He is also the luckiest man in the world! I am so happy for you Tammy! Be sure and let us know when this is happening, and I look forward to the new book about this new chapter in your life adventure.

m - Dear Tammy,
Yes, there is a fear, both in and out of marriage, but you my dear, are a romantic in the best sense of the word. Seems like the human condition is not to live alone and I wonder that the risk you are taking is not big at all. You know they guy; there are bound to be few surprises, and I wish you nothing but happiness. Mazel Tov.

Doreen McGettigan - Congratulations! I am so happy for you! Go for it and have a great time getting there!

Tammy - Laura Lee, you are RIGHT, marriage is not the fear. Trust is. You are wise beyond your years! Thanks for that!

Tammy - Hi Maryjo, I was thinking about a pre-nup. But then my mind and heart went to the fact that if I don’t trust him, I shouldn’t be marrying him. Right? But to do it as a comfort zone, a safety to see that your mind in in tuned with your heart, I love the idea! Thanks so much for sharing!

Tammy - Hi Billie Jo, it’s in the offing. No idea of what it will entail at this point. I am trying like the dickens to convince him to elope to Vegas, or Greece or Italy! A wedding is so intimidating.

Tammy - Thanks, Mel. I AM a romantic. But I’m also a realist (a blessing and a curse!). Weddings are a lot of trouble and money and stress. The commitment of the marriage also frightens me. I lost so much when I thought it was so right. Even 30 years of trying never made it so. The sting of failure and betrayal are hard things to get past. As they say “love conquers all”. I do believe they were right.

Tammy - Hi Doreen, the past several years have brought huge growth, both personally and heart wise. It has been a blast. Color me scared (no lie) but color me willing to step up to the alter … just one last time!

Lisa at Grandma's Briefs - I’m thrilled you found love after 50! Like the Nike commercials say, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Enjoy the ride.

I love this line: “You become acutely aware that you don’t have a lot of time for screw-ups and bad judgments.” That very same thing has been on my mind of late… mostly in terms of hoping and praying my husband never dies (yeah, silly) because I know I’d really screw up and exercise bad judgement if I had to find another mate. I just know it.

Tammy - You are too funny, Lisa. I doubt very much bad judgment would be implemented should your hubby meet his demise (throwing salt over shoulder). But it’s true, we have less time to make up for our goofs. No doubt about it, courage must step in where fear and bout reign. Only then will happiness win the day.

Shirlene Vitale - Hey Girl, I would be happy to officiate your wedding for you!!! It would be so much fun!!! Just let me know… Excited for you my friend.

Cheryl Shaw - haven’t received a blog from you since this one———are you married??????? if so congrats———-be happy!!!!!!!
P.S. just a comment about Renai——–she and Dewey talked and almost decided to live together but——–money discussions put a damper on the whole idea

Oh, It’s Coming!

A little Halloween fun from me to you …. Once Upon A Halloween When my daughter was just a wee one, Reading scary Halloween stories was such f un. Ghosts and goblins and witches galore, Our scary stories were never a bore. She dressed as a lion, a pumpkin and a witch, Those were the […]

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Laura Lee Carter - Thanks for your poetry Tammy: “Growing up doesn’t mean you stop having fun, because if you resign you are as good as done.”

That says it all for me,
Laura Lee

Tam Warner Minton - How completely adorable!!!!!!!!

Doreen McGettigan - Awww I love your poem, I have so many Halloween memories and really miss my kids being little. I’m going to surpise my grandkids and dress up this year.

Tammy - Me too, Laura Lee. It’s as good a reason as any to keep on making mischief!

Tammy - Glad you enjoyed, Tam. A rare dabble into the world of rhyming!

Tammy - Thanks, Doreen, it was so fun to write, but I know I couldn’t make a living out of it! You must take pictures and share them with us!

Lisa at Grandma's Briefs - Oh, how I miss those days, too. I don’t think I’d miss my girls at that age/stage so much if my grandsons lived nearby. Alas, not now (and probably never).

Sweet, silly, and sometimes scary memories.

I love this:
“When we are all grown up its important for us to remember

That our childhood is something we should never surrender.”
So true!

Tammy - Hi Lisa, In writing this I realized what I have always known, silliness is important, time is a thief, and there is no one in charge of our glee and fantasy but us. Halloween is just one crazy night … but it gives us a glimpse of what it was like so many years ago. And what it can be again, if even for an instant.

mel glenn - Tammy, Though it will never make Norton’s Anthology
of Great English Poetry, it is a sweet, nostalgic piece
reminding all of us to have fun, and saying that no matter how old your children actually are, on some level they will always be your kids ready to scamper around.

Tammy - You are too kind, Mel. Scamper she does….and my little girl she will always be! Hope it gave you a chuckle.

Nancy Hill (@nerthus) - Thank you for reminding me of Halloween. I still get all teary-eyed when my 25 year old daughter tells me that she will always remember having the Mom in gradeschool who made the absolutely awesome Halloween Cakes for her class. Marshmallows dyed green and turned into Frankenstein, shortbread tombstones, rock candy trees with gummy bats…. Thank you, Tammy, for prompting these memories.

Tammy - Oh my gosh, Nancy, your description sounds ever so wonderful! I was a working mom and was the one who always showed up with the fancy schmancy spooky cupcakes from our local bakery. My poor kid never had those wonderful homemade treats for her class. But I made up for it at home, as we would bake from scratch and make a wonderful mess of the kitchen. Thank YOU for sharing with me those wonderful memories!

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