Masthead header

In dog years I’d be dead

Which explains a lot. As I approach my 59th birthday I’m a bit mortified at the thought of turning 60. I’ve never known anyone that was 60 (or over) that I didn’t consider old. Clearly I need a mind change. I’m not sure where the time went but I’m wishing I had spent some of […]

View full post »

Joan Cooper - Aging – my favorite subject.

As I was aging, I knew it was happening but I was detached. Only recently did I really feel throughout my body (and mind) that – HEY – I’m not getting any younger. The sidewalk is dropping off – I have no future.

Having no future is the hardest part. With a future you always feel you will improve things – including the world. But now I know I will leave this world without leaving my mark on it. Sad.

You adjust with time, Tammy. You finally realize it is inevitable and you accept it. Pushing 60? You are still a girl.

Joan Cooper

Tammy - Hi Joan, I’m “adjusting” as I type. I’d like to be a girl again, that is if I could take what I know now back with me. Otherwise is would just be a royal pain in the butt. I’m hoping that whatever amount of future you or I have (as we are guaranteed nothing) that we live it with gusto, purpose and the appropriate whining. Thanks for the read and for your post. From one girl to the next … you’re pretty awesome!

malissa - Funny you have brought this up , I have been thinking a lot about getting older, going to be 55 . Not liking it either, looking at what my mom and my aunt have / are going through as they have aged has been an eye opener. I was thinking as i was reading this and seeing Joan Coopers statement about not leaving your mark or that you have less of a future, it is damn depressing. Also noticed wrinkles at the the corners of my mouth didn’t help my mood LOL!
I also was thinking, am i ever going to see England or some tropical place like I have wanted to do all my life. wow talk about a wasted life! (note to self in next life , live life better, more schooling, marry the right one first, have kids that care and travel). Reality sucks!
I’m ok and I will deal with it as I go , what else can we do? I will just have to try to find the funny side of it all.
From one old lady to another!

Ande Lyons - A woman is not old as long as she loves and is loved.” ~Vincent Van Gogh

Tammy… LOVE your reflections on aging. You are absolutely right… age isn’t what defines us… attitude is… and you have the BEST attitude for someone of any age!

Everything we go through as spiritual beings having a human experience is to deepen our intimacy with Self… and our Source. Our journeys teach us so much and we all matter… no matter what.

As Frank Sinatra used to sing: “The Best Is Yet To Come.” (Yup, that pun was intended foxy lady!)

One more quote for the road: “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” ~ Sir Arthur Wing Pinero


Diane - Interesting thoughts. I can identify with everything that has been said above – depending on the time of day. It seems that most of my lifetime was spent doing what had to be done at the time. I don’t recall making a conscious decision to do anything particular for me, and it seems a little late to be doing that now (I’m 66.) However – this is what I have and I plan to pack as much life into the next 20 years as possible. I just ordered new dance shoes today and plan to wear the soles out before I go.

Tammy - Hi Malissa, I’ve always said that I may not have always made the right decisions, but I always made them for the right reasons. There is a lot to be said for that. Aging is a tough call. We never enjoy the process but we all hope to go through it. It seems to me we should pick a side and stick with it. I’m going to stick with enjoying the aging process but bitching about it along the way. It takes the edge off, don’t you think? We (you more than I) still have a lot of life to live. We know tons more than we did 20-30 years ago, so it should be a relative cake walk. I’ll let you know. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s what makes this little blog such a wonderful place to be. Thanks for that.

Tammy - Hi Ande, have I mentioned that I love Van Gogh? I’m not at all familiar with Sir Arthur Wing Pinero, but sure do love what he has to say. Perhaps it’s time we became acquainted. Love your pun (giggle) and your thoughts on aging. So clear, so spiritual, so true. As my grandpa used to say: you’re smarter than you look. Kidding, just kidding. You look to be as brilliant as you are. Thanks for being here …. a girl couldn’t ask for a better cheer leader. You’ve got to know how much I appreciate your weekly attendance and your mindful posts.

Tammy - Hi Diane, LOVE your newly purchased dance shoes! What a true life metaphor. Aren’t you the smart one?!! You know, I’ve always said that my life was filled with “have to’s”. Things I had to do, for my daughter, my husband, my business, my friends, my parents. There was no time for me and I got a bit lost in the shuffle. I’ve only recently discovered how to put me at the top of the list. Harder to say than it is to do. But oh, so awesome to live. It’s never, ever too late. I can bear witness to that. So very happy to have you here in my little corner of the world. I will be thinking of you … wearing the soles to those new shoes out. I’ll be smiling.

mercyn - As I move further into my 60s (turned 62 today), psychologically I feel older because my age sounds so old – as you state, people in their 60s used to be old. I think of my grandmother wearing a housedress and clunky shoes; didn’t she always have gray hair? On the other hand I see men and women in their 90s in my mother’s senior apartment complex with all their faculties and sense of humor. I think 90 is the new 75.

maureen - You always seem to be in my head….Next month I’ll be in New York – my HS class is throwing a 60th birthday party. It’s certainly odd, marking this major milestone with friend after friend. I had thought forty was the worst; that was when I believed I was officially hanging up my saucy minx hat. Ha -What did I know!?! I like your thoughts about this age and peace, wisdom and gratitude – may turn out to be a fair trade. Tho I did so like those saucy bits!

Cynthia - Oh Gawd! And to think that I’m 11 months older than you….this will be a tough year for my birthday, but you’re so right about attitude. I vowed never to lie about my age (as my mother always did) and I have kept that promise to myself…it really doesn’t matter. I feel young at heart…I just need to stop tearing and breaking parts of my body. XOXOXO

Suerae Stein - See… and here I am itching to get past 50 (I just turned 48), so I can get through this whole menopause crap! I do think 50 is the new 35 and 60 is the new 40. We are a lot “hipper” than our grandparents were at our ages! I love your post, as always, and your thoughts about aging. I think it’s on our minds as soon as we hit that first blip in our health or see those first few wrinkles (or as I like to call them – laugh lines). Never before did I think twice about a standard yearly blood tests or mammograms, now I nervously await the results. My mom says that she’s more accepting of things as she gets older. And she’s had plenty of health issues, and been to plenty of funerals, so I guess you have no choice but to accept things as they come. Thank you for yet another great post!

Tammy - Hi Mercyn, oooooh, I hope that 90 is the new 75. That would make me so much younger than my numnber. I agree, when we were kids, people who were 60 dressed like they were 90 and clearly were wildly against hair color. I know that when I go to buy bathing suits and look for a one piece, so many are huge fluffy things with large flowers on them. Ugh. There is hope, and you’ve helped to give it. Thanks for reading and lots of thanks for posting!

Tammy - Mercyn, almost forgot ….. happy belated birthday to you! And many, many more to come!

Tammy - Hi Maureen, It seems there are many of us who are in each others heads! Not a bad thing. I think (and hope) that our saucy minx days are far from over. We are what we think; that’s a fact. We are lucky, we don’t have to please the world. Just ourselves and the one we love. Piece of cake! Have fun at your HS event, sounds like it will be a hoot. I will hold down the fort here while you are gone, practicing to be at peace with this whole aging business, gracious and thankful. Fine … I’ll bitch a little along the way. So happy to have you here, Maureen. Thanks for the post.

Tammy - Hi Cynthia, I LOVE that you are older than me (giggle). Kidding, just kidding. I’ve noticed that as we get older, we seem to be harder on ourselves when our birthday comes around. Too bad. We always hold up unmet goals, wealth yet unattained. What we should be doing is thanking our lucky stars for our wisdom, our friendships and our health. Speaking of which, perhaps it’s time you stopped being a klutz. Who do you think you are…me? Ever so lovely to hear from you, my dear. Thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Suerae, so glad you enjoyed the read. You know I meant every syllable. I agree with you; if we can’t change it, fight it, or deny it … best we accept it gracefully. We have no other choice. I remember Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith show (I had a hopeless crush on Opey), and how she wore moo-moos every day, clunky black shoes and gray hair in a bun. Her character was supposed to be 50. Yikes, not on my watch. It’s what I grew up knowing about age. But I know things are way different now. Frankly, I didn’t know that age brought with it such serenity about things. Color me grateful for that. My grandpa once told me towards the end of his life “you don’t want to be the last one standing”. Most of his friends had already passed and his age was complicated by loneliness. It makes me sad to this day. So, no, I don’t want to be the last one standing. Second to the last will suit me just fine! Love, love having you here. Thanks for posting!

Jenny - I spent the last few weeks with my 20 yr old daughter. We have been on a mission to purchase some clothing, healthy snacks, various school supplies. She has some summer activities that presented her with some different challenges and when she asked if I would help I was more than happy to. We laugh, giggle, have some serious conversations all while going from place to place and checking off items from her list. There were times it would take us forever to get through a store because EVERY young male clerk would wander our direction. Now I’m not dumb with the reasons why they headed our way. They just wanted to help, right? Well this 50 yr old has had quite a good time messing with them. “Yes please we would like some help, looking for a supportive sports bra…” It would give us the giggles. We were very polite but after this one dude wouldn’t leave us alone I finally had to say “yes she is cute, no we can find deodorant on our own, yes she is seeing someone and know how you can help… leave us alone!”
Here is a way to look at the glass half full about getting older. We can go shopping and be left alone to get what we need, get out of there and enjoy the rest of the day.

Mel Glenn - As one who is approaching a BIG birthday next year, I could relate (happily) to your column. With wit and wisdom you look forward to a big finish. As they say, “From your lips to God’s ear.” I thoroughly enjoyed your article and look forward to more.

Tammy - Hi Mel, I thoroughly enjoy having you here. And, yes, I’m hoping for a humdinger of a finish … God willing. Let’s hope He’s listening. So happy to have you here; thanking you for the read and the post.

Tammy - Hi Jenny, funny story. I’ve had similar experiences with Amanda. Still do. I think they are pretty funny and call on us to have a sense of humor with a dash of tolerance. I remember saying to one guy “take a picture, then move on”. Some boys can be so goofy and not realize they are staring. It’s all good, pretty things deserve a second look. You’re right, I do go to the store and get out without be gazed upon or detained in meaningless conversation. I think that’s a good thing, I’m not quite sure. So happy you enjoyed the read and related to the subject. Even more happy for your post!

Kellie - Oh yes I watch my 11 year old Lhaso Apso Abbey and her and I walk just about the same way and make all the same noises. Too scary.

Ande Lyons - My pleasure Tammy… really! ♥ Ande

Tammy - Hi Kellie, you and Abbey … me and Maddy. The world can burn as long as we still have them. Well, not quite, but close. They say we often look like our animals, but the walking and sounding like them adds a new dimension. Wonderful! Thanks for the read and the post.

Gerri Bowen - Loved your post, Tammy. The body getting older sucks big time. (How could this happen? I was just twenty-two!) It is the attitude that helps, and the wisdom we’ve picked up along the way that helps us, me, along. And you pegged dogs perfectly, too!

Tammy - Hi Gerri, so glad you enjoyed! As they say “it’s better than the alternative”. Haaa! Sometimes I have to wonder. Yup, I strive to age as gracefully as my dog, Maddy. I’m not sure where the time went, but I’m pretty sure I wasted a bit of it worrying about stupid stuff. No worries, I’ve got it down now! It’s that whole ‘wisdom thing’. So happy you dropped in for a read and thanks for your post!

Charity Kountz - Wow, I keep forgetting – you’re almost 30 years older than I am! You’ve got game – most definitely! I hope you’ll still be sharing your amazing insights and humor in the next 15 – 20 years. Your posts make me laugh out loud and this one gives me hope that one day, I too, will learn the difficult art of patience and tolerance. I’m already better than I was but still have a long way to go.

Tammy - Hi Charity, yup, I’m an old fart. Ouch. I actually winced as I typed that. It’s all relative, really. I’ve got game where it counts, and the wrinkles and cellulite to prove that I don’t really give a damn what other people think. Well, at least not most of the time. So happy you enjoyed the read. Thanks, awfully, for your post. Love having you here!

A Cryptic Thought

Who wouldn’t want to be laid to rest in Elvis Presley’s old crypt? Um, (hand waving wildly in the air) that would be me. Get your wallets out … it’s for sale to the highest bidder. Bidding starts at $100,000.00. Personally, I don’t appreciate hand me downs. I also find it a bit weird that […]

View full post »

mercyn - I am going to start saving my work clothes – the sweats I wear while writing – for although I am not yet famous, as I plug away at my keyboard the time is near. Keep watching the eBay auctions…

Scott Morgan - I guess Elvis isn’t using it because Elvis Lives!!!! But if it makes you feel better, I’m on your side (as usual) If it costs more than $20, I balk…

mel - a sensible column. Can I bid for it? lol
And what do you think of “Antiques Roadshow”?

Joan Cooper - You have left me speechless. You said it all.

Remember – in life, everything is just a loan and apparently after life also if you cannot keep your burial place???

Joan Cooper

Rick Gualtieri - I collect Transformers. I’m sanely rabid about them. In that I have them all locked in my office, away from the grubby hands of my kids. Still, come Christmas when I know my wife will be scouring eBay for a new prize for my Collection, I am sure to tell her to not spend hundreds on what is essentially a piece of plastic.

Malissa - My comment is now up for action bids start at 1.00 do I hear 1000.00?

Your so right Tammy!

Your new fan in Washington St. 🙂

Tammy - Hi Mercyn, I will absolutely keep watch for the Mercyn eBay offering. You can count on it. Thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Scott, yes, it does make me feel better to know we are on the same side. Elvis was moved to Graceland two months after he was buried in the family crypt. Now that open “spot” is up for grabs. I’m pretty sure it will be over your 20 buck limit, so I’m thinking that it puts you out of the running. It also puts you in the “sane” column. Thanks, Scott, for the read … and the post!

Tammy - Hi Mel, bid to your heart’s content. I’ve never actually watch the Antiques Roadshow, but I’ve heard good things about it. Is it something I should be putting of my list of “must see”? Happy to have you here and grateful to have your post.

Tammy - Hi Joan, what?!?! I’ve left you speechless? That makes me “awesome”! Kidding, just kidding. I guess that after they buried Elvis, his estate decided it would be more lucrative to have him at Graceland. So his original family crypt is up for grabs. We have to wonder what moron will pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for the privilege of having their dead body lay where Elvis once once. Give me a break! Thanks for allowing me to make you speechless, I will consider it a compliment. And, yes, everything in life IS a loan. Thanks for being here!

Tammy - Hi Rick, so you are a sane collector of Transformers? Interesting indeed. Bless your wife for buying what would make you happy. I love her already. It is essentially a piece of plastic, but so are my Gumby and Pokey figurines, and I consider them priceless. But like you, I limit my sane collections. If I had $100,000, I wouldn’t be spending it on cool stuff from the days of old, and I sure as hell wouldn’t spend it on a crypt once occupied by Elvis. I’m betting you probably wouldn’t either. I saw an old friend not too long ago, her purse was a $5,000. I couldn’t help but feel disgusted. The woman has more money than brains. A common malady these days. Happy to know I’m not the only one! Thanks for the read and for your post. Means a lot!

Tammy - Hi Malissa, it’s so cool to have a fan in Washington St.! Let me know what happens to you bid. Great hearing from you!

Marilyn - Oh Tammy, you’re so funny. I love it! And you!

Jeffrey Davidson - Yes it is interesting how some people spend their money and where their values are.

I think we have plenty of youth. What we need is a “fountain of smart!”

Tammy - Hi Jeffrey, when you find it, let me know. I have a long list of people I’d like to sprinkle with the fountain of smart. Wouldn’t it be nice if money brought forth brains? Man! We’d have it made. Instead, it often seems to do the very opposite. If I ever hit it big (and I mean huge!) and I act as stupid as some of the people I’ve noted …. well, you have my permission to slap me silly. Thanks for the read and for your post!!

Kellie - Ok so I am just waiting for someone to purchase the infamous Monica Lewinsky “Blue dress” and either wear it or in case for viewing. YIKES. This person would also be on my ex-friends list.

Supersize this!

New York mayor, Mr. Bloomberg, is proposing a ban on 16 ounce sodas for his fine city; an infringement on our freedoms or good common sense? I’m not a fan of bans. People who ban things never seem to know where to stop. One day you’re banning 16 ounce sodas, the next you’re banning cheesecake, […]

View full post »

mel - interesting point of view, but how are you going to get people to fork over the money? Will paying for care actually make people lose weight? I doubt it.
Some things, perhaps, should be banned, like smoking or excessive alcohol, but human nature being what it is, people will always do what’s bad for them

Suerae Stein - I love your idea! I think it’s so true that people would try harder to take care of themselves if it cost them financially not to… brilliant! And doctors should be paid more for people they help prevent from getting ill. We should get tax deductions every time we walk through a gym entrance. And I would love to put every McDonald’s out of business somehow, so I think we could work out some kind of bonus points for every month we don’t visit a fast food place. Let’s face it, it’s more effort to make food from scratch, but I bet more would be willing to take the time if given the right incentives. It’s just too bad that our health doesn’t seem to be the right incentive. Great post!

Malissa - Hi Tammy,
Yes I have been over weight since I was a senior granted it was only 5 lbs then, but it’s been a life time of diets and packing it on over the yrs . I would be right in there for paying more .
I think maybe if the food manufactures could also try reducing the fat that they put in there foods,and additives like MSG that makes you want more ,which makes you eat more and makes us gain . I don’t know the answer , but banning is a waste of our tax dollars.
Are you free for lunch? Maybe bk and super size me! LoL
Just kidding.

Rick Gualtieri - Interesting how he would ban 16 ounce sodas, but I bet there would be hell to pay if he banned six packs of beer. I’m not a prude by any sense of the imagination, but if we’re going to go on a mad banning spree perhaps we should actually figure out which beverages are actually the most harmful overall.

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Tammy: I actually did lose 50 pounds this past year, and I’m here to say the rewards are many more than I ever expected. The best one is the certainty that I now control myself and not the other way around! I don’t see how we will change other people’s behavior moment to moment without their STRONG desire to look and feel different.
Now I say, I may have to get old, but I don’t have to get fat! LOL!!! – Laura Lee

Joan Cooper - Well, what comes to mind is “licensing”. If you had to have a license to buy cigarettes etc, they could keep track of you and bill you accordingly. A lot of things need to be licensed that aren’t.

The marriage myth for instance. Isn’t parenting the more important action? Why is parenting taken for granted and marriage has so much hullabaloo. Then there is the way horses are treated. If you weighed more than 1,000 pounds, could you endure living in a 6′ X 7′ square? Oh yeah, they let you out sometimes for an hour or so. With all the animal lovers on the planet, no one ever seems to organize to help the magnificient horse. Well, a few do – Madeleine Pickens for instance, by steadily nudging the Bureau of Land Use, she is suceeding in getting acres and acres of Nevada land for a wild horse refuge. She is trying to stop the practice of chasing wild horses with a helicopter until they are exhausted and then shooting them dead. Yup – that is our civilization.

But it takes more. As a well known author and former triathlete says – we do not have a health system – we have a disease system where doctors treat the disease – they do not treat people to be healthy.

I say license every cigarette buyer if you are going to ban things. License every parent to be trained and accountable. License every horse barn on the planet. License a lot of things instead of banning. Think of the money that would bring in. The US might be solvent again.

Joan Cooper

Tammy - Hi Mel, we would collect the money by taxing them at a different rate. By “them” I include myself 🙁 Tax people for being overweight and provide tax incentives for being healthy. I love the concept…vote for me for President! Okay, got a little carried away there, but you get the jest. I agree with you, when something is banned it simply offers a springboard for black market. How can we forget prohibition? Further proof that banning something will surely not make it disappear. By the way, don’t you just love how he proposed the ban on Tuesday and on Wednesday he was handing out Krispy Kreme donuts to help celebrate Donut Week! Gotta love the irony! Thanks for reading, and even more thanks for posting.

Maureen - I’ve lost at least 20 lbs at least 5 times…and I drink way too much diet soda. But I don’t think we need any more stupid, unenforceable and expensive laws. And why is it that the ‘solution’ is always a negative – a ban – rather than a positive, like education. The ban can’t be easier or more cost effective…..
As always – a good, thought provoking piece – Thanks Tammy!

Tammy - Hi Suerae, you, my dear, are brilliant. I LOVE your idea of giving incentives for going to the gym. Hey, money talks both ways! We could have a Debit/Credit fat system. Points for veggies and exercise and debits for cake and too much couch/TV time. We could turn McDonald’s into McStein’s where we could buy fresh sliced melons, berries and wonderfully cooked asparagus in garlic. Oh my, I’m hungry! American’s are goal oriented people. We like to achieve, we like to win. So, if a carrot is placed in front of us offering incentives to become and stay healthy, they’d bite (no pun intended). You’re right, it is a shame that good health doesn’t seem to be enough. Thanks for sharing your brilliance here.

Tammy - Hi Malissa, I’ve been battling the weight wars since I had my daughter at 32, which makes it almost 29 years. Oy! You have hit a huge point with regards to the food manufacturers. One of our problems is that we really have no clue what is in our food. In the food days of old (when we pulled it out of the ground or from a cow) we knew exactly what we were getting. Now, with injected hormones, additives, colors, preservatives, and God only knows what, we not only are clueless as to what we are eating, we don’t know what it is doing to us. Not awesome, and a huge disadvantage. And you are right … banning is NOT the answer. Maybe we should join up for a protest lunch at BK but I’d rather use my protest calories at Tommy’s Burgers. Do they have them where you live? Maybe a special FedEx package is in your future? Thanks for the read and the post. Appreciate you being here.

Tammy - Hi Rick, well, now, that’s an interesting take on things. I wonder what kind of uproar would occur if he tried to ban beer; probably political suicide. I think it’s less about the beverage and more about the people. Many peeps receive free healthcare and many are approaching Medicare age. There seems to be a logic that they can live their life on their terms but don’t have to pay for the consequences, monetarily speaking, of course. Not an awesome outcome and banning will certainly not help. Pass the beer. Thanks, Rick, for the read and even more so for the post. You’re awesome!

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, what a walking success story you are! Changing people’s behavior is not easy. But you know that it can be done with the right incentive. If good health isn’t enough, I’m betting tax breaks and taxation for fat would be. I think I will run against Mit and Obama on this platform. What do you think my chances are? Yeah, I don’t think much of them either. I’ll get old along side of you…only I’ll be the fluffy one. Thanks for posting!

Ande Lyons - Tammy!

Good for you for stepping up and sharing a hot topic with your community.

It’s a slippery slope when one is dealing with addictions… and SUGAR is a MAJOR drug of choice for many people… especially food addicts. It is the cause of so much disease in this country… which is why I understand Mayor Bloomberg’s position.

You see, it really isn’t fat causing many of the illnesses in our country… it’s eating dead food comprised primarily of sugar, high fructose corn syrup (poison), starch potatoes, and white flour, which quickly turns to sugar. (How high fructose got into the American diet is a fascinating story all by itself.)

Have you ever tried to go off sugar before? It’s ugly… and very hard to do. Our kids are being raised on sugar and white flour… which is why many of us will outlive our kids.

You are right – it’s not about how much you weigh, it’s about how healthy you are… and you can be a healthy, thriving adult and be 25 pounds over weight. 😀

OK, jumping off my bedazzled and bejeweled soap box!

Always LOVE how you express your passion… MUAH! Ande

Tammy - Hi Joan, OMG, you bring so much to the table I hardly know where to begin. My take? Marriage is a given but parenting should be licensed and testing should occur before it’s allowed. The people who fly those helicopters shooting horses should be strung up and neutered with a large dull knife, as should the political talking heads that made this action legal. Sickening that this is our tax dollars at work. Preventative health care is worth its weight in gold. I absolutely embrace your theory of licensing and taxing, the revenue would certainly come in handy, wouldn’t it? Your common sense astounds. So does your good heart. Thanks for being here; we are all better for it.

Tammy - Hi Ande, that’s me all right, Miss Hot Topics Tammy. I’m holding my breath for the hate post. I’ve just purchased a book entitled “Wheat Belly”. It promises to open my eyes, enlighten my mind and slim my body. I’ll let you know. I understand where Mr. Bloomberg is coming from, I just don’t respect the way he is trying to tackle the problem. The elephant in the room is America’s bad eating habits and large soda’s are but a grain of sand on the beach of indifference. Right idea, wrong direction. I’ve read so much about the dangers and hazards of sugar. Amazing stuff to know. Scary too. I hate that we are raising our kids on this stuff. Don’t you ever jump off your bejeweled soap box, we need to hear it! But you must tell me where you bought it; my rickety little box could use a little sprucing up. For the record, I love chocolate devils food donuts, chips and onion dip and fettuccine, but I rarely partake in their pleasures. I guess I finally understand the hazards, and I’d like to live long enough to boss everyone else around. Thanks for your kind words and thanks for sharing your brilliant point of view. The pleasure was mine.

Tammy - Hi Maureen, I can top those numbers and add ten years, but why quibble. Drop that diet soda now, Missy! Pure poison. (Did that sound authoritative?) You, my dear, have hit the nail on the head … why is the solution always negative instead of incentive based? Right on, Maureen!! Give American’s reasons: money, tax benefits, insurance reductions, doctor visits to help us help the government and get us healthy in the process. I’d pay a fat tax and I’d work to not have to. Love your way of thinking. Thanks for putting in your two cents … they were worth a whole lot more than that!

Ande Lyons - Thanks Hot Topic Tammy! LOL!

It’s a challenge to give up any of our self-medicating foods. Now I reach for a bowl of brown rice pasta when I need my ‘carb’ fix… *sigh* … RIP Kraft macaroni & cheese… sniff!

My dear pal Rosie Battista is a wealth of fun, keeping it real info… check her out at she’s about being the best you want for you… love her!! She has quickie videos with great tips and easy real food recipes that are actually delicious… not pretending here… and help fight food cravings.

Love sharing the airwaves with you Tammy!

Shirlene - I figured it out……………….Let them ban 16 oz drinks…. We will just buy 32 ouncers instead…… Shallow answer, but it made me chuckle.

Malissa - No we don’t have Tommy’y here, burger king, mcDs, Wendy’s, Burgerville , and others. Well if your ever in Portland Oregon, or sw Washington we’ll have to do lunch. I almost wish I had a farm so I could eat the old fashion way! Slopping hogs , feeding chickens and milking cows. Who knows with all that work I would loss some weight. THATS it we all need farms ,fat farms lol. I’m game! Ok over and out?

Marcia - Hooray for you, Laura Lee! I, too, have been on a weight loss journey this past year, and I’ve lost almost 50 lbs. myself! When I started the journey, I really had no idea how much I had to lose because it had been so long since I was a healthy weight. Nothing and nobody could have convinced me to do it. I could not agree with you more. I had to do it for myself because I wanted to. I am at my goal weight, and am at a healthy weight for my height and my age. I have learned to eat healthier, and have learned how to make wiser choices. Losing weight is no different than smoking…you have to really really really want to do it to be successful. I don’t think a higher tax on junk foods or higher insurance rates will do it. Hey, I know! Let’s keep the government out of it! 🙂
Love you, Miss Tammy! 🙂

Tammy - Hi Miss Marcia, so glad you chimed in!! You’ve lost 50 lbs.?? Oh my stars!!! How so VERY wonderful for you! Congrats to your accomplishment. Clearly losing weight is one of life’s more difficult things to do. I know it’s tough for me. I still say hit them (me) where it hurts, but also offer me good reasons to work with my health. Ridiculous that good health isn’t enough. I do agree with you completely … keep the government out of it! Fat chance of that (pun intended). So happy to have you here and to hear from you. Thanks for that, you saucy minx you!

Tammy - Hi Shirleen, made me chuckle too. When you decide to do standup, let me know. I’ll buy a ticket. Great hearing from you, thanks!

Tammy - Malissa, You’re missing out big time without a Tommy’s. I love the Oregon area, my grandmother was buried in Roseburg and my grandfather in Depoe Bay. I spent a little time in Corvallis – undoubtedly the rainiest city in the world. I overheard a conversation between two women at a coffee shop; one was complaining about having to take sleeping drugs to sleep. Her friend told her that in the “farm days” people never had that problem because they were just too dog tired form working the land. Something to be said for that. I too am over and out.

Tammy - Ande, love sharing the airwaves with you too. I will surely check Rosie out. A recommendation from you goes a long way. By the way … there is no way on God’s green earth that brown rice pasta could ever take the place of Mac & Cheese. I admire your sacrifice. You are my hero.

Kellie - Oh so glad u opened up this can of worms. I am in agreement the Mayor of NYC needs to get a grip! Really is that what you concentrate on all day Bloomberg …seriously. Now if you want to try to figure out tax incentives for people being healthy, I am on board. I am not a “Nanny State” scenario, people can be fat and huge if they want to and eat all the bad food they want to without government telling them what they should or should not be eating. I agree that our nation does not eat well balanced meals all the time. However, I don’t want ANYMORE suggestions from these “bright” politicians we are currently stuck with in the U.S.A. My suggestion to all these politicians is try being more productive with your time while you are still in office. While Mrs. Obama spends precious TV air time pushing her organic garden in the white house, she might try keeping an eye on her own hubby and what he shoves down his throat on the campaign road. THEN maybe she will have more influence on me and perhaps others. While I agree kids perhaps are not eating the most nutritional meals at school. It is a parents choice what to feed their child … not the government. Geez I told you don’t get me started! 🙂

Malissa - I know all those places, lol I’m out and over. Night!

cheryl - What is happening to individual responsibilty and freedom, the cornerstone of our republic——–we all pick our own poison!!!! And the unintended consequences———-now Bloomberg wants to lessen the penalties for pot smoking in NY??????????? GET THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, I think we can both agree that individual responsibility does not exist in everyone. There are a considerable amount of people who are happy to rely on government subsidies and handouts. Welfare is a good example; it was meant to be a helping hand not a hand out. I believe in the former, not the latter. We live in an age where a woman sues and wins for spilling hot coffee on herself and where healthcare is the hot button of the decade. Something needs to be done to help the situation, as it is in dire need, but agree with you that the buck stops with each of us. I’m not feeling all warm and fuzzy about the positive outcome but will do my part. Thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Kellie, well, I most certainly DID get you started. Politicians most certainly don’t enjoy the best of reputations, however, well earned. Since I never watch Mrs. Obama, I can’t comment, but practicing what we preach is essential in getting your message across. Everyone needs to assume responsibility for themselves, as well as the consequences for their actions and decisions. I’m against bans in general, but if the common good for all is affected negatively, then I think our society needs to take a look at things and offer positive incentives and alternatives. This is truly a hot topic that needs more of a band-aid fix of banning 16 oz. soft drinks. Please! Thanks for sharing and posting, so happy to have you here!

Betsy - Oh, Tammy, you certainly hit the nail on the head with this blog!! Big Brother is at it again!! Of course, we mere mortals aren’t smart enough to take responsibility for ourselves. Of course, there are those who abuse themselves in the way of excesses of all kinds, but that is their choice (or should be). My motto is as long as it does not do harm to anyone else, it is their decision to make. Of course, I agree that there are things that need to be mandated…no cell phone use and texting while driving, for example, as that could definitely cause harm to others as well as themselves. But when the Mayor limits the amount of soda one can order, but then goes out and celebrates Donut Day, he for sure has a problem!! Maybe someone should remind him of …”we the people”!! My husband thinks that it won’t be too long before the light bulb police will be knocking on our door to check out the candescent light bulbs we have in our sockets (of which we have many!!). Wonder what the fine for that will be? There are many things that we all can do to improve ourselves, our community and our country…if only the government would let us do it!! I enjoy reading your blog, Tammy, and the comments that you receive as responses. Keep up the good work!!

Tammy - Hi Betsy, so happy to have you here! Re this issue, there is a part of me that wants to yell to our legislatures “Get out of my life!” Then there is the part of me that understands that healthcare of the obese is costing all of us billions. So … I’m torn. I see that something has to be done but I value my liberties and don’t want they swatted away. So in my mind (which is often feeble) I’m thinking we should lay the financial brunt on the offenders. The light bulbs are a great example of lost liberty! I hate the candescent ones with a passion but am unable to even find the old fashion kind. Pisses me off, frankly. I’m told that it’s all about energy savings, to which I reply “follow the money”. No one seems to be concerned about the mercury levels in the new bulbs and our landfills being filled with them. Oh dear, I’m babbling. I’m so very happy you enjoy the blog … spread the word! Yes, my readers always offer some pretty spectacular comments. They, and you, are awesome!

Betsy - Ooops…will have to find a new typist…we have many incandescent (you know, the old fashion kind) in our house. We’ve been hording them for years….do not like the new ones at all. Besides, how do you dispose of these new funny looking squiggly flourescent bulbs with the mercury inside?? Yes, you are right…they probably do end up in our landfills since we don’t know where else to dispose of them. Now I’m the one who is babbling….sorry!!

Nancy Wurtzel - Mayor Bloomberg are you listening to what people are saying?? Mainly, I agree that bans go too far…”Ban the Ban” is absolutely right about the soda ban! If cheesecake is next, there will be riots in the streets. Keep ’em coming, Tammy!

Bernetta Fornea - Great write-up, you could have created lots of great items, I likewise imagine this is a incredibly fantastic website.

You want me to fit into that?!

Bathing suit season is soon upon us. Let us pray. Clearly I was born too late. If I were born in Roman times, I would be a goddess. I would have been revered; maybe even a legend (and not just in my own mind). Instead, I am considered by many to be a little fluffier […]

View full post »

mercyn - Wonderful, witty and so true! Bathing suits are the worst invention ever. I don’t even take a girlfriend with me when I have to buy a new one (once every few years). I want one with sleeves (three-quarter length will work) and a bra that actually works.

Rosie Battista - Love your post… love your writing… Ande Lyons told me about.. and she’s right.. you’re fabulous.

I have lots of tips for you to fit into that suit… join me for some cooking ‘naked’ recipes!


Joan Cooper - Did you see the article that models now wear a size 0 (zero) which did not even exist a few years ago. They are between 13 and 15 years old. Where does it stop? Just use a hanger guys.

Remember – no matter what – keep a fire in your heart and a smile in your eyes.

joan cooper

Suerae Stein - Love this post! I’d like to go back to the times when women’s bathing suits covered more area. Even the bikini bottoms covered your belly button back in the old days! And the suits for the younger set are ridiculously revealing… I am waiting for the pendulum to swing back to the good ole days!

malissa - Too funny, and I can relate. I want to go back to the days were you wore the black and white stripes pants and long sleeves and the big hats whats that the 1900’s lol , only thing you have to worry about is the stripes HAHAHA! I just don’t buy them any more. thanks for the laugh.

Rick Gualtieri - Easy solution: swim nekkid. 🙂

mel - a very sweet column. It’s simpler for men@

Scott Morgan - You know the irony? I’m WAY too skinny. For women, rail-thin is good. For men? Yeah, a little more fluffiness is preferable to the Skeletor look. So no, it’s not simpler for men. at least not those of us who look like female Calvin Klein models…

Tammy - Hi Joan, don’t even get me started! When I was a teen Twiggy was all the rage. Remember her? Well, I wasn’t tall, thin, or blonde with short short hair. But I wanted to be. Ridiculous peer pressure! She DID look like a hanger. I think I wore a size 0 when I was 9. It’s okay with me. I’d like to be less fluffy and I’m working on it. But I like my curves and softness. About time … it’s only taken me 58 years to reach that conclusion. Thanks for the post, Joan, you are awesome!

Tammy - Hi Suerae, don’t hold your breath waiting for the pendulum swing. If anything, we will all be walking around in body paint and do away with clothes all together. I shudder at the thought. It was a fun post and I’m tickled that you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping in. Appreciate you tons.

Tammy - Hi Malissa, thanks for sharing the laugh with me. Wouldn’t it be grand to have those big hats and those roomy pants and long sleeves back in style?! I’d love it. I’ve spent so much money and time with laser’s trying to fix the sun damage I caused while frying my skin as a California girl that the last thing I want to do bake in the sun. Oh, hell no! So happy to have you on the other side of my blog. Awesome! Thanks for posting.

Tammy - Hi Mel, thanks for the good review. Isn’t everything simpler for men? Just saying. It’s such a pleasure knowing that you are on the other side of my little blog. I’m visiting your writings too! Thanks for being here.

malissa - I love how it feels to lay in the sun, all warm and heating up the sore joints but I don’t do it any more like I also did as a kid with baby oil, lol Crisco lol. I also lived in California for the first 4 yrs of life.
Going away to the beach this weekend but no bathing suit for me , the Pacific northwest forecast is rain, whats new lol.
I really enjoy your writing, can’t wait for next story:).

Kellie - Tammy
In deed this is an experience MEN JUST DON’T GET! I love the red suit looking like a barn comment. I am still chuckling.

One thing I find that helps for sure as we age and get smarter at making bathing suit choices or let me re-phrase that…I hope we get smarter in choices. We should realize as mature women we should no longer be picking inappropriate styles. I don’t care if you are 50 to 60 years of age and have the hottest body on earth, at this age I don’t believe walking around in a thong in public is the correct choice. I see women who do this and I feel sad that they need to draw attention to themselves in such a manner. I believe picking swimsuits which are age appropriate helps in the horrible swimsuit search. Just because we are mature women does not mean we have to wear the old granny suits. I have several different choices. One when I am being more active in water sports (the board shorts with nice little upper half to highlight the “girls.” Two I have my tanning suit. Just little enough to be classy and be able to have less tan lines and I CAN wear in front of guests if need be. Then I have my suit I wear in front of all unknown company. It is classy one piece highlighting my “ass-sets” of choice. ha ha get it “ass-sets.” So by doing this I find it a little less horrifying to shop for the dreaded swim suit. Plus it helps when you have a loving partner to tell you “honey you look great in anything.” LIAR. 🙂 But hey I will accept THAT lie anytime.

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - While swimsuit shopping, a great sense of humor is also a definite PLUS!

Just posted “Bite Me” on my blog carnival for you, you funny writer!

Tammy - Hi Kellie, you are SO right! Have you noticed that one piece bathing suits for the “older generation” always have large hideous flower patterns? Eeewww! They we walk a whole five feet and find tiny itsy-bitsy two piece suits. There fails to be a middle ground. It takes tons of patience and hunting the aisles. I also have 3 suits. One little sexy number, one athletic number and one generic uber comfortable number. I, of course, look marginally stunning in each of them. I am also delusional, which helps. No. Men don’t get it. Thanks for pitching forward your wonderful contribution. It’s great having you here.

Tammy - Hi Scott, I’d bet your skinny little toothpick legs look damn good. That’s all I’m sayin. I’ve seen your handsome picture on your website. Has no one told you that “lean is mean”? Well, now they have. Quit your fretting. At least you don’t have to push 40 extra pounds into a two size too small piece of spandex. Look on the bright side. Thanks for piping in here. A male’s point of view is always a welcome read.

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, wonderful, happy to contribute to the Midlife Crisis Queen Blog Carnival. Hope my readers pop in for a visit. Lovely to be part of it. Thanks for that.

Jenny - I’m been wearing the same darn suit for years. Some years “yeah, I can eat” others “sh__, can’t even breathe”. This year… (insert scary music) I guess it’s time to try it on….
well… it fits… and I can laugh at your blog!

Tammy - Hi Jenny, well all right, Missy, you get to laugh this time. Good for you that it fits … still! Who needs a scale when we have our bathing suits to tell us no lies?! Glad you enjoyed the read. So happy to have you here with me!

Tammy - Hi Rosie, I LOVE Ande and I LOVE her blog! You tell her she rocks for sending you my way! That is one spit-fire of a woman. I adore her. Thanks for your kind reviews, I love that you love me (giggle), and I love you right back. Cooking naked? Oh, my darling, for that I’d have to go into the kitchen. I’ll give it some thought but not sure I can even find my way. I will, however, find my way to your blog. Thanks so much for stopping in, I hope you become a ‘regular’, we could use some ‘normal’ people around here. Thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Mercyn, So happy you liked the post! I don’t think they actually make bathing suits for women who have boobs. Just a personal observation. Since I hate the bathing suit shopping procedure with a passion, I usually buy 3 at a time when I subject myself to the humiliation. It works better for me. I usually take a girlfriend with me for backup in case I pass out while trying to squeeze into the darn thing. Plus, it’s always good to get another opinion since mine is always the same: “I hate it”. We are on the same page, girlfriend. Thanks so much for being here and for posting!

Cynthia - Ha ha…I still wear my worn out, faded, stretched out elastic number.

Beatrice M. Hogg - What’s a bathing suit? You go in the water?! I just roll up my jeans, dip a toe in and run back to the boardwalk. The last time I wore a bathing suit, Clinton was president – the first term.

Tammy - Hi Beatrice, I’m still laughing. Clinton’s first term, eh? Funny!! I have had the good fortune of falling in love with a wonderful man. My bad fortune is that he owns a home in Palm Desert. Bathing suits soon became inevitable. *sigh* When you’re in the desert, in the summer, (insanity!) you find your way to the pool. Of course I only get in it when no one else is around or when his back is turned. Stealth pool dunking is a new survival skill I have perfected. Loved your post … thanks oodles for being here and sharing!

black chinos - a very sweet column. It’s simpler for men@

Tammy - hi BC, thanks. Happy you stopped by. Yup, you’re right, it’s waaaay easier for men. Thanks for posting!

Charity Kountz - ROFL – love this – I recently went looking at bathing suits and I think this year I might just skip it altogether. There’s this new thing out called a “tank-ini” (which I actually think is just fashion reverting back to trends from the 50’s and calling it new) that I want to try but darnit – everyone else had the same idea too and I couldn’t find any. Oh well, til next year. It’s too hot to go outside anyway. Why did I move to Texas again? lol

Tammy - Hi Charity, I LOVE the tank-ini! Unfortunately I was unable to find one that fit me properly. I’m not sure why the top kept creeping up my waste exposing my little tummy (I use the term loosely) but it did…so I didn’t buy it. I don’t need any more aggravation when I’m trying to suck it all in and look lovely in a bathing suit. It sure looks easier getting off and on, though. You’re right … it IS too hot to go outside. Turn on the tele and get out the Bon Bon’s! Thanks for posting!

Bite Me!

Collection agencies suck. I recently received one of those warm and fuzzy notices from my monthly credit monitoring service. It went something like this: “Dear deadbeat, you have been badly maligned by an inconspicuous collection agency that says you dodged your responsibilities and you owe billions”. Awesome (sarcasm). These reports rarely give you contact information […]

View full post »

Joan Cooper - Oh Tammy – I am rolling on the floor laughing.

Do this: call him back and tell him you are submitting all your records to the California Attorney General’s office with a report of how West Asset has treated you and in fact is trying to ‘shake you down’.

See who is laughting then.
Keep me posted.

Joan Cooper

Suerae Stein - OMG Tammy – that would put me over the edge! Unbelievable. I just wonder how often these companies get lucky and people just pay whatever they want, no questions asked. I once was billed for supposedly overdue parking tickets after 20 years had elapsed. How could I ever prove that I paid those??? It’s crazy. I’m glad you are getting it all straightened out, and I hope writing about it helped release some of that well-deserved anger!

Rick Gualtieri - Document it all and send it to the whatever credit agency this is listed on. Tell then you dispute the debt and ask for it to be removed. The burden will then fall on the collection company to prove you wrong.

It’s not the quickest process in the world, but I’ve had wrongful items removed from my credit report (I once had a mortgage show up on mine from when I was 13…needless to say not many banks loan out $100k to a teen :).

Maureen - I like Joan’s suggestion too – what a headache, and I’m so sorry this is happening to you!! I managed a building once with a huge credit collections company – every one of them was rude and obnoxious – think it’s a job requirement! Let us know how it turns out!

kellie kennedy - Oh my dear u spent way to much time on the phone dealwith this shister! Yes u go to credit bureau advise them in written letter what has occurred. Never take a call from low life companies again. UN fact I recently took a new home phone number provided by Verizon. Little did I know it was an old number of someone who obviously went bankruptcy. Let’s just say my home message recording is less than polite advising if your any type of credit agency “bite me” wrong number Ans don’t leave anything on recording.

Tammy - Hi Joan, if this were a sitcom I’d be rolling on the floor with ya. Good advice – I’ll do it! Thanks for being here and thanks for posting.

Tammy - Hi Suerae, OFF the edge is more like it. Good grief! The truth is that if it were a smaller amount, I would probably just pay it to get them off my back and my credit report. Isn’t that sad?! I’m still working on getting it all ironed out. I think I need to take some of the good advice offered to me here. Leave no stone unturned, right? Thanks for the support and for the post.

Tammy - Hi Rick, Sound advice, thanks for that. I am in a bit of a hurry only because I have a refi in the works. Think I can kiss that goodbye for the moment. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I’m documenting like a crazed woman and will send it all of to all powers that be. Hope it makes a dent. LOVE that you had a glitch on your credit report that said you had a mortgage at 13. LOL! Awww, bankers; gotta love them. Thanks for reading, sharing and posting. You, sir, are awesome!

Tammy - Hi Maureen, It’s enough to make a person homicidal. Kidding, just kidding. Let’s just say that I hope I never meet this guy in a dark alley somewhere. Will keep you posted. What a ridiculous waste of valuable time. Grrrrrr. Thanks for reading my rant and giving me a cyber pat on the back. Love you for that!

Tammy - Hi Kellie, What a freaking nightmare! My credit matters to me, especially since I’m still reeling from a divorce many years ago. A collection notification brings you down quite a few points. Ouch! I called them, they didn’t contact me. And I had to do some pretty fancy detective work to find them. They never notified me, they just levied a collection on my 3 credit bureaus. I’ve never dealt with such a manner-less low life personality. Maybe an abusive personality goes with the territory. Too bad. If I did owe the money, I would want to speak with someone that would work with me to pay it back. I can only imagine the kind of message you had waiting for you. Terrible! Thanks for reading and responding. It means a lot.

Kellie - I had this happen to me too. Something not true and I wanted it off my credit reports because I knew I wanted to buy a new home. 2 years later and writing to all agencies every few months my issues. BINGO! Off … only took two years! My God what a system. Oh yes my phone recording is less than cordial.

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Hi Tammy:
Don’t have any experience in this, but I am curious why you didn’t contribute this to our blog carnival this week…I still could!


Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, let’s hope you never have this experience!! Yes, let’s share this post on the Blog Carnival! Thanks for being here…and posting!

Bern - Yes, overdue lirbray fines can be reported on the credit file if the lirbray sends your account to a collection agency. I have seen them show up on the bureau.On your credit report they should have the agency name that is reporting the debt. If they don’t dispute it with the credit bureau to get more information. If you still don’t get anywhere, put a statement of explanation on your file. Creditors are not obligated to pay attention to those notes, but some do and with such a small dollar amount, they may be more willing to overlook it when you apply for credit in the future.References : Analyst w/a credit card company

Charity Kountz - Oh Tammy – I have been there. Debt collectors are like the scum of the earth. Heck, they’re the scum on the scum on the scum of the earth. It doesn’t get any lower in my opinion and I take great delight in running legal circles all over these douchebags because I know more about consumer rights than they ever will. Don’t pay them – don’t even think about paying them. In fact, report them to your state’s Attorney General and sue them for damages because for every violation it’s $1000. If you need help, check out They are some of the most amazingly knowledgeable and friendly people you could ever ask for.

F a c e b o o k
T w i t t e r
L i n k e d I n
M o r e   i n f o