 Or in my case, a bar of soap. Not too long ago, I slipped on a bar of soap and broke my foot. Little did I know how much that bar of soap would teach me. The day it happened, as I lay there writhing in pain, I screamed out for help. Steven, of course, […]  Okay, I’m not sure; but if we had to choose from life’s virtues, which would prove to be the most valuable? I’m usually uncontrollably humorous in my posts. It’s generally something I can’t help; it’s a blessing and a curse. This week, I’ve been contemplative. What? (I’m sure it won’t last long.) I’ve been coaching […] 
Ms. Tammy In times like these, I always fall back to my favorite poet Maya Angelou and one of her most famous quotes. “Now that I know better, I do better.” For me it works! Seems to cover all the above. 🙂 Great post. 
Personally I’d vote for patience to be a top virtue. Especially in my house, with three young boys slowly destroying everything I own…yes definitely patience. 🙂 
You did it again – Tammy. You distracted me from the humdrum world to higher things. You are certainly a profound thinker. Love is a four letter word that means something different to everyone (almost) do not depend on it. Faith is too much based on ‘don’t know, but anyway’. Charity is at the top of my list. I just cannot stand people who are not generous. Everything in life is a loan. Share all you can. I offer my epitaph – Keep a fire in your heart and a smile in your eyes. Joan Cooper 
Wow Tammy! Thank you for this thought provoking blog post today. Like Joan, you brought me out of my TwitterVerse musings and into higher ground. Is optimism a virtue? Because that’s my favorite buoy or flotation device. It keeps the smile on my face and the possibilities in my heart. Optimists can be so annoying… and an enthusiastic optimist (waving here!) is the worst. But it sure is easier to grab love, faith, hope, charity, purpose and courage when you’re an optimist! Cheers! Ande 
Hi Kellie, who doesn’t love Maya?! Yes, that famous quote does work for all the virtues. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have that kind of wisdom in our twenties? Yeah, that would have been very handy. Happy you enjoyed the read and so happy you stopped by and posted!
Hi Rick, you made me laugh (again). Yes, I would guess that patience wasn’t a hard virtue to come up with in your household. I get it. Having only had one child, an angelic little girl, I can’t relate but I’ve heard stories. It’s all a labor of love and I’m thinking you are very blessed. As am I … for having you here. Thanks for the post, so happy you popped in.
Hi Joan, I’m thinking you could start your own blog any day now. Your comment is poignant and oh so true; love does mean different things to different people. Therein lies the rub. I love your statement that everything in life is a loan. I never quite thought of it that way. You have distracted me from the humdrum world. Thanks for that. Love having you on the other side of my posts and appreciate so much that you stop in to share your thoughts. Thank you.
Hi Ande, I know, you’re probably still in shock that I gave you a “thinker” today. Just one of the days where I’m pondering life’s mysteries and coming up empty handed … again. If optimism isn’t a virtue, it sure should be. There is pity little of it in our daily grind and we could all use a healthy dose. The world needs more optimism, of that I’m sure. I see you there, waving your hand. Keep it raised so we know who you are and so we can thank you for the lift. People don’t realize what a gift it is to be able to remain an optimist in these times of worry and trouble. Keep it up and spread it around, won’t you? Thank you, Pollyanna for being here and sharing your grace. You rock! 
… great thoughts Tammy! Love. Without it, the world would be total caos. We would have no respect for one another. No respect for anothers possessions. A world without love would quickly evolve into a world filled with hate, revenge, and regret. Love holds another in higher regard than ourselves. Love accepts. Love endures. Love forgives. Love gives. (For God so loved the world that he gave His only son, so that whom ever believed in Him, would have eternally life, and have it abundantly. -John 3:16) Faith… belief without proof. Perhaps one could survive in this life without faith, but what about the next? What about eternity? Hope… drives us toward Faith. 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13 
Great thought-provoking post. It is a tough question, no doubt about it. And you always provide a “thinker” even if it is humorous. I guess for me you hit the nail on the head with purpose. I am struggling with the kids leaving the nest syndrome and what my real purpose is. But do we really have purpose if we don’t have love in our hearts? Or hope? Or faith? I think one always leads to another. Anyway, thank you once again for a great read! ~ Suerae 
Mine is compassion. It’s what gives me purpose.
Hi Scott, you and Mother Theresa (great answer)! That would make you one of the ‘good guys’, but I already knew that. Thanks for sharing, always wonderful having you here.
Hi Suerae, interesting viewpoint and I suppose in many ways you are right; one does lead to another. At least in a perfect world, which I wish it were. I’ve learned that for me purpose gives me hope and helps me to love and faith stands alone for me. Great insight. Really. Thanks for being on the other end of my blog, it makes it so much better!
Hi Dann, so happy to have you here. Oh my, you have shared a mouthful, thanks for that. Perhaps love is the greatest of all the virtues. In my life I’m not so sure. I am, however, very blessed and happy to have it and to give it. I am a lucky girl. All the virtues serve a purpose and I’m not at all certain we can be whole without all of them in our lives. I imagine that they take their turn ‘up at bat’ surfacing in greater strength when we need them. I’d like to think so. Thanks for sharing your sentiments and knowledge. To do so is a personal investment, and for that, I thank you. 
Well done, Tammy! As Sherlock Holmes said of Dr. Watson, I never get your limits. (Is it possible that you don’t have any??) Not being a Bible scholar, I had to look this one up. (For those of you keeping score at home, it’s I Corinthians 13:13.) I was interested to find that in many translations, “charity” is given as “love.” Like you, I would have thought they were two distinct qualities. Unlike you, I’m not brave enough to pick one virtue over another, though I certainly wouldn’t argue with your choice. By definition, virtues are all good things to have. I wish I possessed more of them, and I’m very often envious of those who do. And that puts me on a different list altogether…but I’m working on it!
Hi Stephen, well, I think we are both on that list together. Is it possible for good people to be without virtue? I don’t see how. So maybe I don’t live every virtue every day, I believe that they lie within me often unbeknown to me. If a diamond is covered by mud, it is still a brilliant stone underneath, right? You and I, my friend, are brilliant stones sometimes covered with a little bit of soot, but quality and shine none the less. That suits me just fine. Thanks for stopping by the neighborhood and sharing your thoughts. I adore your posts!  Yeah, me too. Wow, there must be something special in the air for you to hear from me twice in one week….and there is. I want to send a shout out to my readers about two awesome things that are going on. First off, I have been asked to guest blog this week for the […] 
Thank You Ms. Tammy–Witty Woman Writer and Author! Hey all … Tammy is on target–if you are truly serious about creating a book … one that you can sell and get paid for by happy buyers–you want to meet me in DENVER May 3-5. I’m bringing in all the master book publishing marketers–eBooks, pBooks, vBooks, aBooks–from marketing strategies via Twitter, FaceBook, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest, your Cell Phone–amazing things happening. And here’s what most authors don’t get–5% of the book is in the writing, 95% is in the marketing. Come to Denver, the Mile High City–and since you are a friend of Tammy’s, if you contact me directly, you will get $50 off. See you in May. Judith
Wow, thanks Judith for the client discount for my peeps. Awesome of you. Hope that some of them make it there, I know that your programs are life changing. You are a gift to writers everywhere!  After reading a recent study in the Los Angeles Times, I’m petrified. I love my In-N-Out and Tommy’s burger fix, my Rosie’s rib night, and my steak at Morton’s. Few things sound better for breakfast than my favorite BLT. Clearly, I don’t have long to live. A recent study featured last week in the Los […] 
I tried but cannot give up meat. One son is a vegetarian and we have friends now gluten-free. They visited us and the diet was OK for a couple of days, but by day 3 I needed a meat (or chicken or fish) fix. I got tired of reading labels ensuring food was gluten free. Let’s hear it for Everything in Moderation!
I often wonder what is better…to live miserably or die in bliss? Meat is just too full of, well, meaty goodness for me to go without. Sure I might drop dead of a heartattack. But just think, what if it happens while I’m behind the wheel and a bunch of vegetarians are in front of my car…fat load of good it would’ve done them. 😉
GOD (not you Tammy) I hate bacon. I eat only white meat including turkey dogs. I don’t know if it helps or not, but now when I see a steak it just scares me – doesn’t make me want to eat it. I have just lost 15 pounds in one month by stopping the fast food habit (innocent chicken) and the Klondike bar at bedtime habit. No Weight Watchers, no Jenny Craig etc etc. I am going for another 15. Having said this, I look forward to fast food and Klondike bars maybe once a week – not more -as a special treat. They are all the more attractive now and the weight loss is good for me – I am told. A friend tells me to walk through a Whole Foods market or like, and see how sick the people look. Something is missing in their healthy diet. Maybe living dangerously (seat belts etc) was good for us. Joan
Ya if I followed EVERY rule I would have nothing to eat! My rule of thumb…moderation,moderation and more moderation! And to all those studies that say we can’t have more than 2 cups of coffee BITE ME! 🙂 
If you give up everything you like you don’t live longer, it just seems like it! -LLC
LOL! Carpe Diem Girlfriend! So many things can knock us down in life, why let a little fact like early death and heart disease from 85% hamburg and triple thick bacon keep us from enjoying the ‘juices’ of our labor. Off to grill up a nice Angus burger, medium rare! Ande
Hi Mercyn, I’m SO with you. I have cut down quite a bit, but that is really more of the animal cruelty thing. Still, I gravitate to the fabulous burgers, amazing ribs and out of this world steak (my mouth is watering). The survey doesn’t give much new information except for the inflated percentage rate that we will all be dropping. Judging from the posts here, I won’t be the only one checking out for having one too many BLT’s. The gluten free thing is still a mystery to me. I’ve tried gluten free pasta, cereals, crackers, and I’m here to tell you, they are not awesome. I don’t smoke, I rarely drink and I exercise daily (my dog insists on 3 fast paced walks a day despite bribes from me to stay in) so red meat is really my only vice. Clearly from the study, it doesn’t matter how clean a life I live, I will die young as a result of my burger habit. It’s always something, isn’t it? Thanks so much for posting. It’s great having you here! 
I remember when the cyclomates scare came out. I calculated that based on the amount fed to rats, that the average human being (do you know of any?) would have to consume about 15 gallons of pop, (soda for those of you who do not know what pop is!),] per day for about 6 months. Our friend Kellie who responded that there would be nothing left to eat is right on – unless you grew everything on the farm yourself. However, her use of “moderation, moderation and more moderation” should be used moderately! Men and women are omnivores. We are meant to eat both meat and fruits and vegetables. Remember, red meat is not bad for you, green fuzzy meat is bad for you! 
Dear Tammy Girl, I miss you and our late night sliders at Morton’s!!!!!!!!
As an ex-reporter, I’m not sure how the calculus works on meat (though as a vegan, I don’t have to worry about it), but I do know that the number one cause of death is having been alive at some point. I seem to think that “you’ll die anyway” comes up for pretty much everyone eventually. All I know is, try not to take life seriously, nobody makes it out alive anyway.
Hi Rick, you crack me up, I’m still giggling. I’ve often thought about how the well disciplined life often gets cut short from ‘natural causes’. You are probably way too young to remember Euell Gibbons; a naturalist who wrote books and made a lucrative living around being a health nut. I still remember the news anchor who while he announced his death from “natural causes” was trying hard to not laugh at the irony of it. I agree, meaty goodness is a tough thing to go without, and while I have cut down, I simply can’t find my way to cutting it out of my diet completely. I guarantee that if I did I would be the most unpleasant (nice way of saying bitchy) person to be around. We have to do some of the things that make us happy, right? With that said, I wouldn’t mind knowing what kind of car you drive so I can be on the lookout. Just saying. Wonderful having you here and thanks loads for the post!
Hi Joan, see, already you have me off guard. I’ve never actually met anyone (that I’m aware of) that doesn’t like bacon. OMG! Turkey dogs? OMG again! Okay, I’m composed in the knowledge that it’s different strokes for different folks. If you don’t look down on me for my meat loving ways I won’t think you’ve lost your mind for your sensible eating habits. Deal? Huge congrats on the weight loss and good luck with the remainder of pounds. It’s no lie that we as American’s carry around a lot more weight than we should. I am a perfect example being 25 pounds fluffier than I have a right to be. Always great hearing from you. Thanks so much for sharing, it’s always a kick!
Watch out for a red Ridgeline with a bald man holding a hamburger behind the wheel. 😀
Hi Laura Lee, I LOVE that philosophy! I agree!! It will be my new mantra. Thanks for posting, always great to hear from you!
Hi Ande, hahahahaaa, yeah, why let a little statistic keep us from doing the right thing, right? I get it, and I’m with you on this 100%. You should share your location so I can pop in and help you with those Angus burgers (my favorite). Enjoy! Thanks for sharing, loved your post!
Ohhh Marilyn, don’t even get me started! LOVE those little sliders. And always love the time we spend together. Hope the desert is treating you well and that I will be there to share late night munchies with you soon enough. Thanks for reading and for posting. It means a lot!
Hi Scott, I’m pretty sure you are my brother from another mother. My sentiments exactly and I was going to include that very phrase “no one makes it out alive”. Truth. You are a vegan? Oh my, I have the utmost respect (and sick fascination) for vegans. Not sure how you do it but I suspect you will probably live longer for it. Unless, of course, you get hit by a bus. Hey, it could happen. Thanks for being here and for posting. You, sir, are awesome.
Loved Jeff ‘s comment – ‘it’s green fuzzy meat that is bad for you’. When I was a kid, we loved to eat vegetables off the vendors wagon – yeah – no big trucks then. We never washed anything and we didn’t get sick from it. Of course, now the Bugs are stronger. How did that happen with all the dietary and sanitary advances? oan
Hi Jeff, I love your comment that Kellie should use moderation in using the word. She will love it too. That woman has a sassy sense of humor from what I can tell. Here Here! Your observation that we were meant to eat meat along with fruits and veggies is one that has been overlooked. That is kind of where the whole “balanced diet” idea came from, right? Yes, I remember that scare with the rat comparison. Interestingly enough, the consumption levels were not disclosed at first. Media hype. I’m fully expecting that within the next ten years we will be privy to a study that tells us that red meat will save us. Hope I’m here long enough to see it. LOVE your humor and appreciate your post. Thanks for being here, my friend.
Duly noted. Being a master at eating in the car, I recommend you tuck paper towels into your shirt. The tuck is hugely important. (giggle)
Hi Kellie, hugely agree with your rule of thumb. Read Jeff’s note about your post; my readers are so funny! I’m still laughing over your coffee comment. Bite me is damn straight right! At the time that came out I started drinking just one cup a day. Clearly those were the days I was easily influenced. Not so much anymore. I’m still a one cup a day coffee girl, but to be fair, that doesn’t include my Starbucks runs. Hey, I’m with you, if I followed every survey out there, I would be eating granola for dinner and one measly marshmallow for desert. Thanks, but no thanks. Pass the ketchup! Thanks for posting, always enjoy hearing from you!
Yes I’m a card alright. :)Yes I eat meat and veggies both. I love a red rare steak, but I make sure I eat in moderation. I normally go for the fish or chicken. I saw a recent show on 60 minutes I think …The segment was on why are women in France able to remain slender with all the yummy foods at their finger tips? Moderation- a little of this and a little of that …I like that!! 
Yah, what is gluten free anyways? I do think moderation and exercise are the key, and I also heard that with all the bad stuff being injested and created, more people are living longer than ever before…………..the sliders at Ladyface are grrrrrrrrrreat! 
Yeah, Tammy. The killer bees thing still freaks me out.
Hi Cindy, I have no clue what gluten even is, except that I would be healthier if I ate stuff without it. Confused? Yeah, me too. I’m reading so much about the pink slime that goes into meat that I finally just had to stop reading. Overload! I want to be educated and make good choices. If I need to cut back on stuff to make me healthier, I will. But do without what I love…yeah, probably not going to happen. Making a mental note: Sliders / Ladyface. Can’t leave that stone unturned. Thanks for the tipoff. Here’s to both of us exercising and eating in moderation….um, at least my idea of moderation. (heh-heh) Thanks for sharing, Cindy. So happy to have you here. Really.
Hi Sydney, I know, right?! The killer bees and African ants petrified me for years. The press kept telling us they were coming. Re your friend, I’m thinking it’s best she ate alone. It sounds nauseating. She must be wonderful in all other ‘friend’ aspects, or you would have smacked her one by now. Where do you get a habit like that, anyway? I would talk with her about it….tell her if she does it again you might have to kill her. That usually works (kidding..just kidding). Glad you enjoyed the post. Hope to see you back. Thanks for sharing!
Joan, I know…Jeff is one funny guy. I don’t remember the vegetable carts, but I fondly remember the Helms bakery guy who drove through the streets and stopped to sell us donuts or fresh bread. But then again, those were the days that our milk and butter got delivered to our door. Damn, I’m feeling old. Think I’ll quit while I’m ahead! 🙂 
I cant.help but.think of my dad, living on a cholesterol free diet (read boring and mostly tasteless) before suffering strokes at.76… he would have far preferred a few BLTs along the way. You nailed it on the moderation- enjoying a good meal is one of the best parts of.living! 
Although this article in the LA Times, is interesting and somewhat worry-some for most Americans, I will say that I eat meat almost every day and my cholestorl levels are healthy because i work out 3 days a week and get the right amount of sleep and supplement that processed meat with other healthy options. I am not worried, but thank you for the heads up!
Hi Maureen, so sorry to hear that about your dad. I remember my ex father in-law telling me that one of the worst things about his cancer was that he was no longer able to eat the rich soups and meats he had enjoyed all his life. He beat cancer that go-around but remained on a fairly strict diet. He always lamented it. Years later when he found out he had a limited time to live; he enjoyed his foods and was much happier even in the face of death. Food matters. It brings us comfort and yes, joy. But it doesn’t mean we can live our lives gorging. I get that. Still, scare tactics telling me that I need to eliminate something completely or I have a 20% stronger chance of checking out earlier are, I think, biased and manipulative. You’re right … good meals are indeed one of the best parts of living! Thanks for being on the other end of my blog…and thanks for posting!
Hi CQ, I think I want to be like you when I grow up! It’s wonderful that you are so attentive to your diet and your health. We could all use a little of that vigilance. I walk 2-3 miles daily (without fail), watch my carbs like a fiend and eat meat probably 4-5 times a week. I rarely indulge in dessert anymore (way to punishing to the waist line) and take supplements. Still, with all of that I found my lipid panel required me to sign on for a daily dose of Lipitor. Some things are just hereditary so I’ve been told. It was an interesting article but I guess I’ve read so many of them by this point in my life that I no longer feel overly alarmed. Awesome that you stopped by…and thanks so much for posting. 
Girl, eat your bacon, you’ll be ayight. 🙂 Disclaimer: That note was for entertainment purposes only since I am not a doctor. LOL Some of us would clean fall off the face of the earth if we couldn’t have our bacon…I tried turkey bacon but it’s just the same crunchy, juicy goodness as plain ‘ol pork bacon 😉 ~Kesha
Thanks, Kesha, I officially have ‘approval’! Now…when anyone gives me a boatload of negativity because of my diet, I shall smile slyly and say simply: Kesha said it was ayight. And that, girlfriend, is good enough for me. Thanks for stopping in and posting.
Yes! LOL And you know I meant turkey bacon is NOT the same (in my comment above)…had to clear that up 🙂 ~Kesha 
OMG I love Bacon, I could eat the whole package but we now eat tofu bacon and have real bacon when we go out for breakfast. This way I can’t eat the whole package ,that’s how I do moderation.
Hi Malissa, bacon is awesome! It is, by far, my favorite breakfast item. Tofu bacon??? (I’m compelled to slap you silly here) What in the world? It sounds wonderfully devoid of the fat, grease and calories. So I ask … what’s the point? Hahahaha! A package of bacon in this house doesn’t last long. Love your favorite saying!! I think we could become fast friends. Thanks for the post!
Hi again, well the hubby and I were trying to lose a few pounds and so we tried it, didn’t last long lol. But after memorial day were getting back on the diet for some health reasons we need to lose a lot. But even on weight watchers you can have bacon but if we really want to be good we do the other.  Is this a trick question? I’ve just finished reading the umpteenth survey telling me how unsatisfied everyone in America is with their sex life and how we are prone to live more celibate lives in our ‘golden years’. Really? So it got me to thinking; how many kinds of sex is there and why are […]
I think you know a lot, Tammy, and you have a wonderful way of saying it, even with a potentially uncomfortable topic like sex! And to be able to do it without making anyone feel uncomfortable. Thank you for this post – it’s very thought provoking. 🙂
If this isn’t written for the jugular, I’m not going to venture a guess at which part it’s written for. But from where I sit, you’ve managed quite a coup — you’ve managed to talk about S-E-X without it being dirty, crude, juvenile, or jokey (puns aside). Give yourself a hand. (sorry, couldn’t resist)
Funny and oh too true!
Hi Suerae, Haa! I’d like to think I do. Thanks for the positive revue. I knew the subject would make some uncomfortable but as usual, I pull no punches and tell it like it is … or how I think it is. So happy you popped in and grateful for your post.
Hi Scott, I pulled a coup? Awesome! I just call them as I see them. I’m nothing if I’m not honest. I get an A for courage, don’t ya think? I’m giving myself a hand, and thanks for posting. ALWAYS love it when you stop in.
Hi Maureen, so happy to see you here. Glad you enjoyed the post. I read four articles last week all addressing the fact that we, as American’s are having less sex. What? Turns out to be true. Interesting topic and I just took it to the wild side for a wee bit of fun. Thanks for the post!
Hey Tammy: I’ll be sending some of my readers your way from my “Believe In Love Again” blog. BTW, I have found that the BEST way to get readers is simply mention the word “SEX.” LOVE your insights! They always make me laugh! Great photo too! -Laura
Yes Tammy
Hi Laura Lee, you are too funny – you mean all I’ve had to do this whole time is mention the word ‘sex’? Geesh! So glad you enjoyed the read, always happy to make you laugh. I LOVE IT when I’m shared…thanks for that! I will, of course, check in with your blog. This was a fun write for me. A touchy subject that really shouldn’t be, right? Thanks for being here, Laura Lee, and for posting!
Hi Kellie, a slippery slope indeed! The point you mentioned is further proof that God has a sense of humor. It would be wonderful to be on the same ‘sex clock’, but alas, it is not to be. So, we work with what we’ve got. So glad you brought this point forward, somehow I neglected to mention it. You’re awesome! Great to see you here…and thanks for posting! 
Wow—–you take on such interesting topics and this one is extremely timely as I have just read an artcle by a psychiatrist, Jean Shinoda Bolen. She says that in women, the area of the brain that weighs options in decision making is larger than in men. This includes sensations of the body that pick up emotional data. In men the part of the brain that is devoted to sex and awareness of fear and aggression is two and a half times larger than in women. Do you suppose a man’s sense of self-worth with women has to do with sexual perfomance??? Duh. As a woman, I find that to be a sad commentary. 
I have another type of sex to add, black and blue sex. Why does a man take a pill and then know that “when the moment is right” he then sits in a different tub than his partner? I can only imagine the bruises I would get having sex that way?
Hi Cheryl, you’re pretty wonderful to share your story (I’d stick to it too), thanks for that. I have not reached that stage in my life but am on a fast approach. I’ve heard very similar tellings and it does seem unfair, doesn’t it? We should go into our golden age being the same vixens we were in our youth. I call no fair! And I tend to agree with you; it is unlikely that a man would put himself through the act when it is so unpleasant; or, if we have to go there, at least allow both men and women to enter that stage at the same time. I remember my ex husband (who is now 60) telling me that he doesn’t like to date women his own age because they are all dried up. Horribly offensive. His solution was to hook up with a young 33 year old Russian girl. Apparently, his life is a dream. I don’t begrudge him one bit, but do find him sleeping with someone that could easily be his daughter more than disturbing. I guess it’s a ‘girl’ thing, or maybe an ex-wife thing. It seems that the sex drive gets stronger as men get older and the opposite runs true for us. Something I will be sure to discuss with God one day when we meet. Just saying. Thanks again for sharing…and for being here. Your post was wonderful.
Hi Jenny, such an interesting response, thank you! You know, being young in the 60’s and 70’s everyone assumes that we were all having sex, doing acid and getting high. Many of us were not. I did burn my bra (my mother was mortified because it was the only one I owned) but sex was something kept for love. We didn’t have the venues and opportunities that kids have today to inform and advise. I think it’s a huge benefit for them. We had AIDS in our time but didn’t know what it was. It’s a lot easier being safe when you know the pitfalls, consequences and realities of it all. Yeah, it’s scary all right! But they are able to be smarter about it. I’ve also heard people say they wouldn’t want to raise kids these days and heard it when I was a child. It’s tough business any way you slice it. But the kids … well, you know, they are the light of our lives and our gift to the world we live in. By the way…there will be NO tub sitting for me! Thanks, Jenny, for posting and sharing your point of view. It is so important. |
Joan Cooper - You certainly know how to make a lot out of very little – a bar of soap ticked all this?
I love “fluffy” instead of ‘fat’.
Perfection like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. Have you seen the woman James Cameron (Titanic etc), married? He could have had any gorgeous babe around.
Joan Coooper
Tammy - Hi Joan, I’m going to take that as a compliment even though I’m quite unsure. Yes, I’m a thinker sometimes. When I had that shameful moment on the floor and rather than think of what was good for me, my vanity took over, it unleashed a flurry or thought. Why do we care so bloody much about what someone else might think of us? And I got to thinking that I wasn’t the only one. Plenty of us have things that we hide or misrepresent. I’m not at all sure it’s worth the effort. Yes, even a bar of soap can teach some big lessons. Re Cameron and his wife, I’m assuming (and hoping for them both) that they have tremendous chemistry. I have to believe that with his ego he is not the easiest person to live with. But then … who is? Thanks for being here Joan; you always bring something to the table.
Trenna - I love you! You are singularly the most talented person I know. Also, the most sensible. Why someone doesn’t grab you up, give you a million dollars just to use your talents to the fullest is a mystery to me. But, life isn’t over and I’m quite sure that one of these days you will be “discovered” by those who will make you famous. Then, I can say, “I knew Tammy before she was discovered!” Keep at it my dear.
Tammy - Hi Trenna, oh … I love you too! I don’t know why someone hasn’t grabbed me up and given me a million dollars for my talents (we are talking writing, right?) but I’ll keep waiting. Personally I’m thinking you can keep fame but I’ll take fortune. Either way, you can say you knew me ‘when’. Glad you enjoyed the read. Naked humiliation should have some benefits for mankind, don’t you think? Wonderful to have you here and thanks so much for posting!
Carmen - WOW!!!! This one leaves me speechless. Here I thought I am as close to perfection as I will ever get given my age and life experiences,,,,,,your article has made a great impresion and has made me dig deep!!!! OH BOY!!!!! I will try not to ask my children how perfect I have been and perhaps are?????? Oh gee….I won’t go there!!!!!Thanks for a great article. You always bring out the best in us! Keep em coming.
Suerae Stein - I love your honesty, Tammy, and especially that last line in your post. And that our vulnerabilities are not our weaknesses. I often confuse the two when it comes to me. Thank you for the reality check – and the chuckle as well! ~ Suerae
Tammy - Hi Suerae, I’ve tried being less forthcoming but usually fail in my attempt. It’s a blessing and a curse. It’s always easy to know what I’m thinking, wanting or dreaming of. Some people just wear their hearts on their sleeves. I truly believe that vulnerabilities are not to be confused with our weaknesses. Rather, they are there perhaps to help us in our compassion, for ourselves and for others. This past Monday I had to have surgery on that foot because things didn’t heal right. Not awesome. This little foot and that bar of soap have taught me well. Just for the record, I’m looking at installing those metal bars in the shower. Yup. I figure I’ve learned my lesson and I’m not all too anxious to re-visit this scenario. Thanks for being here, Suerae, you are a breath of fresh air and I appreciate your posts.
Tammy - Hi Carmen, haven’t seen you around for some time. So glad you are still reading. I have a feeling you are pretty close to perfect so I wouldn’t try for it too hard. As for asking your children what their impression is, I highly recommend waiting to do so until their children have grown and taught them the cost of benefits of motherhood. Only then can/will they understand how perfect you were and are. Thanks for the kind words; I’m happy you are on the other end of my weekly rants. Thanks for posting!
Carole Schultz - What a great blog, Tammy, and could so relate. Thank you for putting into words how so many of us feel. Great insight.
Tammy - Hi Carol, thanks, so glad you like it. It’s my little corner of the world. My friends always say that I can be counted on for voicing their fears, thoughts and desires. I think it’s a nice way of telling me I have a big mouth. I prefer to think of it as being a spokesperson. So happy you enjoyed the read and so grateful you took the time to post. Thanks for being here!
Stephen C. Spencer (@PaulDMallory) - Some people will do anything to get an idea for a column! Hope you’re okay, Tammy, and that your recovery was/will be a quick and complete one.
By and large, I agree: why in the world wouldn’t anyone want to show themselves to the world in the best possible light, whether through fake hair, phony tans, or age-and-shape-appropriate clothing? I wish more people would do it. Take a stroll down the aisles at your local Walmart, and you’ll see what I mean. Painful stuff!
But it’s still what’s inside us that’s most important. The trouble looms when these little cosmetic “deceptions”—and even that may be too strong a word—begin to fool oneself past the point of a simple confidence boost. If you’re not careful, it can put you on a slippery slope indeed.
In short, The Red Queen’s advice to Alice seems particularly apposite (italics mine): Speak French when you can’t think of the English for a thing, turn your toes out as you walk, and remember who you are. You can’t go too far wrong with Lewis Carroll!
Kellie - Well Ms. Tammy
I know of not one woman who would feel comfortable in that situation. Regardless if they are a size 1 or size 18! If they say otherwise, I would have to call them on their dishonesty. Women and their body image is a real problem in this day and age. The media, hollywood and the unrealistic expectations set of what we SHOULD be all made worse by these industries. All one can hope for is a man who loves us just the way we are … if I may steal a line from the movie “Bridget Jones Diary.”
Tammy - Hi Stephen, oh my gosh, visions of past Wal-Mart visitations pop into my head. Pretty atrocious stuff. Yes, a bit more thought and decorum would be an excellent skill for everyone to possess. I offer no apologies for not wanting to be perceived as any less than I am. Problem is I sometimes am less than I wish to be. That is when my best efforts leap to my rescue. Often effective…sometimes not so much. I so agree with you that we must all be careful NOT to believe our own publicity. That is indeed a slippery slope of which I have seen many not return. Sad. And then, of course, we must be careful to not think one bit less of ourselves, as modesty has its place but not giving accolades to ourselves when they are due, is not one of them. It’s all such a balancing act, isn’t it? Perhaps the Queen was right and I should be taking up French as I hold my head high and never forget where I came from, who I am, and where it is I’m going. Thanks for being here. Your observations always lighten my day! Appreciate the post.
Tammy - Hi Kellie, loved the Bridget movies. So much true life there to be found. Yes, finding someone who loves us just the way we are is a blessing I wish for everyone. Loving ourselves is the harder goal. I sometimes struggle with my body image not because of any outside influences but because I know I can do better, be better. I hate falling short. I am proud of myself in so many ways that the few items that linger in the negative column carry less weight (no pun intended). It’s all a process and part of life. Sometimes easy … sometimes not so much. Thanks for posting and sharing with me. It means a lot.
Jenny Paulsen - I have a very good feeling that if you handed that man of yours a bar of soap he would gladly wash your back, neck, and …….
and I have 40 to 45 to lose and that didn’t stop me from enjoying some Easter nummies! “There’s always tomorrow…” a cute girl reindeer named Clarice sang this to Rudolph.
Tammy - Hi Jenny, I know it to be true but it’s good to be reminded. Embarrassment doesn’t get too much worse than this but as you can see, I survived. There IS always a tomorrow, I love that we have that to look forward to no matter what. I wake up every morning and say out loud “today is another chance”. I’m rarely disappointed in the offerings. Thanks tons for being here and for posting. You’re awesome!
Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Hi Tammy:
I am well known for being far too honest to just about everybody. During counseling training I was famous for being “too direct.”
My Mom used to say, “You don’t have to tell them everything you know!”
Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, I LOVE direct people! You never have to wonder where they stand or what their intentions are. What’s not to like about that? Your mom (and mine) was probably right; we don’t need to share everything but the truth is that when we do, it forges relationships. True story. When we lay ourselves openly and honestly to those around us it helps them to do the same with us … eventually. Thanks for stopping in and posting!
Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Hey Tammy!
Want to join our Boomer Blog Carnival? We’d love to have you!
Send me an e-mail to MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com if so!
LLC