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Rush to Judgment

Dear Rush Limbaugh, What the hell were you thinking? When we were kids playing in the sandbox we learned pretty fast the rules of civility; don’t hit, don’t spit and don’t use bad words. If we did any of these things, there would be repercussions. Clearly you need to go back to kindergarten. But this […]

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Suerae Stein - You go girl! I don’t know how you do it but you write so eloquently and say everything so perfectly. Tammy for president! I would vote for you because I believe everything that you stand for. This is one of your best – well done! ~ Suerae

Joan Cooper - Yes – everyone feels he was out of line and certainly unintelligent in his analysis. This young woman is an “elitist”, and her ‘gig’ is “entitlement”. Get it all for free. Why on earth should anyone pay for someones’ sexual contraceptives? That is as personal and as individual choice as you can get. Furthermore, you can buy them much cheaper than the government can give them away through taxation!

Watch out for higher education folks – look for common sense.

Joan Cooper

Carmen - WOW!!!!!! Tammy — Once again you have hit the NAIL on the head. Very well said. Congrats keep them coming.

Judith Briles - Well, there is a book–Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Liar–kind of sums it up at this point

. Whether the Georgetown student is an elitist or not is not the subject or the point; her position is about whether contraceptives should be covered within the healthcare umbrella. At this stage in my life–I’m putting them there. I’m tuned into the tremendous cost of children being born where the “system” then picks up the birth tab … the care tab … the education tab.

This is about men–mostly white men– deciding what women should do with their minds, bodies and lives; this is about pro-life myopicness … where very few of the pro-lifers step up to the plate with their checkbooks to underwrite the care/feeding/education of children–children that if the mother had her druthers would opt out of having in the first place.

Joan Cooper - To Judith Briles: Do you really think more government tampering will change how people think and live? Will people become more and more dependent on government until we all are personal slaves as well as work slaves?

Contraceptives are available cheaply – much less than cigarettes or beer etc. They are also available free. Government doesn’t need to do this. It will cost the taxpayer much more than teaching common sense along with sex education in school.

Where does it stop? You really must require humans to take SOME responsibility for themselves.

Joan Cooper

Tammy - Hi Suerae, so sweet of you to say so. I don’t generally comment on politics or media offenses but every once in a while I like to throw my hat in the ring. Sometimes something like this comes along and it just riles me. I want to get on my soapbox and grab a microphone and say to Rush “Who do you think you are?” Um, this blog will have to do. I’d vote for me too but becoming President of the United States is a goal that has never found me. I can’t imagine why anyone would want the job. Thanks for stopping in and thanks for posting. Appreciate you tons!

Tammy - Hi Judith, well maybe there IS a book in this. I bet it would sell big. You are SO right, and how unnerving it is to know that it is mostly white men that make the decisions that affect women’s lives, bodies, and futures. Not okay. If the subject is healthcare coverage for birth control, I’m all for it. I’ve known too many women who couldn’t afford it and we are all paying (literally) the price for it. But I must also factor in that in many instances healthcare already covers the purchase of Viagra for men. Can we really object to one while condoning the other? We should all take responsibility for our actions, and the responsible thing to do is to take birth control when we are unable or unwilling to have children. Thanks for posting, you always have something interesting to say. Love hearing from you.

Tammy - Hi Joan, I’m not sure the young woman is an elitist. I don’t know enough about her to make that statement. But my whole point was that a man in the position that Limbaugh occupies should never, ever stoop to slanderous name calling because someone is not stepping in line with his opinion. Not okay. This is America and we respect people’s right to speak. It has gotten to a point where so much of what he spews is arrogant and one sided. I listened to him years ago. At that time he was less hostile and more open. No question he has a brilliant mind. There is, however, huge doubt that he has much common sense. Or maybe he just thinks he is above it all? I am stuck in the middle (not unusual for me) as I believe that less government is a good thing. Having said that, I also believe that it is a great opportunity for women to have the option of having their health care provider offer birth control under their health plan. This is not a government subsidy, this is private health care. I’m for anything that helps women get the protection they need so that unwanted children are not brought into this world and then becoming burdens of the state. By the way, did you know that many health care providers already offer coverage to men for the purchase of Viagra. Something to think about.

Tammy - Hi Joan, no, I’m not Judith, but wanted to respond to you as you have been such a loyal and savvy reader. I agree with you that the American people need to be wary of the amount of tampering that our government has in our lives. Scary stuff. If a health care plan wants to offer contraceptives, I say have at it. They already cover Viagra. But, you’re right; we all should be more responsible for ourselves, our families and our futures. Thanks for being here and for posting. Your comments are always so passionate and to the point. It’s pretty awesome having you here.

Scott Morgan - Written for the jugular! Gotta love that, wherever you stand 🙂

Tammy - Hi Scott, the jugular, eh? Yikes, and that was me being nice. I rarely do political pieces as my readers are not generally so inclined and I always see my numbers go down. That’s okay, because every once in a while we need to sound off. Ya gotta venture out of the box every once in a while. I’m so happy you were there when I stuck my neck out. Thanks for supporting and for posting.

Jeffrey Davidson - Rush, unfortunately, like many other conservative talk-show hosts (no, I am NOT anti-conservative), seems to feel better through the use of vitriolic name calling, put-downs and not listening to another point of view and debating or discussing it. Instead, because he lacks the ability and/or self confidence necessary to try to get his points across without yelling, name calling, etc.
I too believe that he is intelligent, however, he lacks wisdom, understanding and compassion for anything which is different than he “knows” it should be.
Intelligence is having knowledge. Wisdom comes from a healthy application of that knowledge.
I enjoy hearing other points of view whether or not I agree with them. They either strengthen my existing beliefs or persuade me to modify them. Works great when you “talk” to me and not when you yell at me.
With regards to the young lady who wants free contraception from the government, NO! Get it from your private healthcare provider. Otherwise, I want documentation that you are not buying any to0bacco products, liquor, candy or anything else that is not necessary for basic survival before I pay for your safe sex.
As always Tammy, you have a beautiful gift of being able to express yourself in a meaningful and often humorous, witty way.
If you keep hitting the “nail on the head,” you will have to join the “Carpenters’ union!”

Jeffrey Davidson - Sorry for my typos!

Kellie - I agree with you the remark was out of line and not helpful to anyone. In watching the Ms. Fluck speak I feel sorry for her she cant figure out on her own as a mature 30 year old woman how to purchase a contraceptive. On the other hand… I sure dont hear the liberal media on Bill Mahrs ass for his everyday disgusting remarks about religious groups or Republicans and our dear old president Obama accepting 1 million dollars towards his campaign. Hipocrates…ya!

Tammy - Thanks, Carmen. You have officially become my number one cheer leader. Love having you on the other side on my blog and always welcome your posts.

Tammy - Hi Jeffrey, well, there is not a lot to disagree about your description of Mr. Limbaugh. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I do differ in my stance with providing contraception for women. The cost of unwanted children far outweighs the cost of the contraception. It’s kind of a ‘bit picture’ thing. Many times the state will have to pay for the birth, the health care, the education, etc. of a child born to a woman who is unable to take care of them. It just makes financial sense to me. But, this discussion actually involved birth control being offered by PRIVATE health care providers. That is even more awesome. And of course private health care already provides Viagra for men. It appears we are already paying for sex. We are just trying to prevent unwanted births. Thank you for the kind words, I’d love to join the Carpenters Union, just not sure they’d have me. Has! Thanks for being here and sharing your well stated opinions, and thanks ever so much for posting.

Tammy - Hi Kellie, don’t even get me started on Bill Maehr’s. That’s a whole other blog. I don’t suffer arrogance easily. Mr. Maher’s is right there with Mr. Limbaugh in that department. Do you ever notice how the people who have the least reason to be arrogant; are, and the people who have a good reason to be; aren’t? As far as his million dollar donation to Obama, well, it’s legal and he is at least backing up his beliefs with his money. I’m sure the same is happening on the other side of the fence. I don’t begrudge anyone putting their money where their mouth is. I’d disrespect them if they didn’t. I’m just so sick and tired of the name calling, the character bashing, the insults, the blustering, the assumptions. It’s crazy. I’d appreciate an end to the madness of it all. Can’t people just be civil? Well, now, that’s the million dollar question. At the end of the day your statement holds true; hypocrites, all of them! Thanks for your insight and for your post. So very glad to have you here!

Kellie - hipocrites indeed! I too have been all the above mentioned in my life time. (Democrat, Independent and Republican)

Joan Cooper - If private health care providers want to provide contraceptives, that is private business. For the government to get into it requires enormous outlay of money for the inefficient clerical work they are famous for and never ending tax funds down the drain unnecessarily. Also, government has no business in this issue.

Yes Ms. Fluck does have a history as an activist.

I am an old time romanticist – I know what sex is and what sex isn’t. Maybe there should be some courses on this in school. I mean other than they are doing. Or maybe not. Let them learn the hard way (no pun intended).

Tammy is going to boot me off the blog for this.

Stephen C. Spencer (@PaulDMallory) - Right as always, Tammy! The world would be a much better place if we could discuss the issues of the day calmly and dispassionately; express our opinions without resorting to shouting and name-calling; and elect politicians who spend more time propounding their own ideas and less time personally attacking their opponents.

But, to use your phrase, don’t bet the farm on it happening any time soon. That’s the price we pay for living in a free society. Consider. Burning the American flag is, under the law, a perfectly acceptable way to get one’s point across. So is setting up camp in and around centers of government in an attempt to…hell, I don’t even know what they’re trying to accomplish. But they’ve got a right to do it. So who’s going to say “boo” to the collection of increasingly strident “commentators” who are flooding the airwaves with their vitriol?

Sad but true: Rush Limbaugh’s not going to be hurt one little bit by this latest embarrassment, any more than, say, Bill Maher was damaged by using a vulgar anatomical term to describe Sarah Palin. It’s what they do. [Full disclosure: I lean right politically, but the last Republican I voted for with any enthusiasm was Ronald Reagan. I’m a fan of Limbaugh’s (whatever else he is, he’s indisputably an entertainer), but he was dead wrong here, and his “I stooped to their level” apology was as lame a thing as I’ve ever heard him say. (Maher’s a jerk; but the biggest thing wrong with him is that he’s just not funny.)]

Don’t count on the media to inform or educate you. And please don’t let them tell you how to behave. Their sole aim is to make money. This goes for “public” broadcasting as well. We’re on our own out there; that’s another one of the costs of freedom.

It’s a trade-off, sure…but I think we’ve got the better of the deal.

Gordy - Amen. Live life your own way – Just don’t expect me to pay for it.

Tammy - Gordy, I hear ya, I’m with ya and I get it. Too bad we aren’t running things. Don’t think there is a chance in the world it will work out that way. Thanks for stopping by and for posting.

Tammy - Hi Stephen, we are on our own out there aren’t we? Scary thought. I mean, the playing field is not level. It gets harder every day to try to establish the truth from fiction and policies from greed. It’s enough to drive you drink. I’d like to think that Limbaugh would suffer a consequence, fair is fair. If you did something to this degree in your workplace, chances are pretty good you wouldn’t be working there for long. I listened to Rush a few years back. He is wicked smart (as is Maher) but seems to have been overtaken by arrogance and hate mongering. I’m not a fan of either. Same could be said for Maher, a complete and utter jerk (that’s me being nice). You’re right, freedom has its price and we are better for it, no question. But when I read about protesters attending the funeral of a fallen soldier, who was gay, holding signs of hate, well, I just get a yearning to exercise my 2nd amendment rights. Common decency should prevail in a civilized society. I guess I must surmise that we are less civilized than I ever imagined. Another scary thought. So happy to have you here. Your comments always get me to thinking. Thanks for sharing and posting!

Houston, we have a problem

I’m just going to say it out loud … I’m Whitney’ed out. At the risk of offending a lot of people (yeah, because that’s stopped me before), I’m so over listening to the never ending media coverage of Whitney Houston’s alcoholism, addiction and lousy marriage. We’ve been inundated with media hype about how her friends, […]

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Charity Kountz - I was and am very sorry to hear Whitney is dead. However, people need to grieve and move on. Especially the media who tends to hound a news story well past the time its turned into paste on the sidewalk. And the recent article about Bobbi Houston breaking down at the funeral? Yellow journalism at its worst. Of course the girl broke down – she lost her mother far too early! You expected her to dance a jig? Geez! Media and people in general need to get over the “star” status and realize these are human beings who live under a microscope from the moment they become famous until they die or lose their audience’s attention. They deserve therapy and coping skills training, laws to limit paparazzi access and most importantly, the responsibility to follow the law just like the rest of us (You raise an excellent point with Lohan – that whole family is a walking disaster). May Whitney rest in peace and may her death serve as a warning to the rest about the risks of excess and drugs. Great post as always Tammy!

Joan Cooper - Seven Million Dollars for Cocaine.

Think of it. How much good that could have done in the world. Drugs have to be the very very worst thing ever to exist. Does society really seek to abolish it?

Boundaries – draw the line – you cannot have a civilization without saying no to certain behavior.

Jennifer Eubanks - While I find it sad that another talent has lost their life to drugs and alcohol, I am too tired of hearing about it all. What about those people like my Dad, and just a few days ago a very dear friend who fight courageous battles with cancer and die. I remember writing such an article about this issue. It was triggered as I stood in line at the grocery store while a celebrity who was diagnosed with cancer was plastered all over the news stands. I get it. They’re celebrities. Everyone knows who they are. Does that mean they should have different rules? No. Does that mean they are more important than our families and friends? No. And, does it mean the flag is lowered at their passing? Absolutely NOT.

Kellie - Well said my dear. While I too will miss her fabulous singing talent and will always be haunted when I hear the song “I will always love you.” The media nees to pull their heads out of their !@#. Take responsibility for your own issues. While I remain in pain for her mother and other family members, she was a grown adult who knew better. Grieve her loss and move.

Kellie - and “move on from the story.” (was the ending of THAT sentence) Sorry big thumbs typing and hit send key before finished!

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - I am also quite “Whitney’ed out” and I agree completely with what you say about personal responsibility.

The real question for me is why some survive their midlife crises while others do not. I wrote about that after her death:

Judith Briles - OMG—I’m a Ditto-head! So with you Tammy–sick of the media AND people putting junkies and screwed up celebs and politicians on some type of glass pedestal. Get over it–they blew it … and rarely was it for just one boo-boo … they’ve made it their life-plan to wallow in their doo-doo. Enough, enough, enough. Hugs… JB

Scott Morgan - When I was a kid, my parents taught me to not act up because ‘that doesn’t get you anywhere in life.’ But so much contradicts that anymore. How can we tell kids a thing like that and expect it to mean anything when crap like Jersey Shore keeps showing us that the bigger an asshole you are, the more people tune in? I don’t think Whitney was as bad as that in the role model department, nor do I see her as cautionary example. I’m not really sure what I see her as, but I think we can let the woman rest in peace now, and stop reminding the people who actually loved her that her train wreck life came to a tragic early end.

maureen - As always, well put…too many talented people lost to their own demons (Janis, Michael also – just too many). I suppose tho, that the excessive coverage might help someone out there to finally just say no. Gotta pray Lindsay Lohan is listening….

Tammy - Hi Charity, I love your term “yellow journalism”. It is the worst. I knew we were in for the long haul when CNN was reporting her last meal. I’m serious. I do feel a lot of compassion for her daughter. It seems she had seen her mother through a lot. It makes me think that in Whitney’s case her death was simply bad judgment. Anyone who loves their kid like she apparently did would never leave this earth intentionally. It’s all such a shame, but I am sick to death of listening about it. You’re right…the paste is on the sidewalk. It’s time to talk about other worldly events. So happy to have you as a reader, Charity. It’s wonderful having you on the other side of my blog. Thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Joan, good post. Perhaps our civilization is less civil than we would hope. Boundaries are always good, but the same rules should apply to the rich and famous as they do to you and me. Whatever happened to a “higher standard”? I wonder. Thanks for being here…I always look forward to your input.

Tammy - Hi Jennifer, You are the only one of my readers that addressed the flag issue. I found it outrageous that this was done. As I said, our flag has pity little to do with celebrities. I remember so many years ago when Bob Hope died. Palm Springs lowered their flag for him in honor of all he did for the military forces. I was proud of that. He did so much to honor and respect them. This was a horse of a different color entirely. Our flag is a sacred symbol, period. You’re right, millions of us everyday folk battle something every single day. They are the true hero’s. But you already knew that. Great hearing from you, Jenn. Rally great.

Tammy - Hi Kellie, exactly! Well said. Grieve and move on. The media coverage has been obnoxious. Interestingly enough it was the media who trashed her drugs and alcohol binges every chance they got, plastering pics on the cover of magazines. And now, they all care? The real loss is to her mom, her little girl and her family. As for us, her adoring public, we loved her voice and will always have it. Her life exploits is something we all could have lived without. Thanks for posting, great having you here!

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, I was completely expecting a backlash of negativity. Seems many of us are on the same page. I’m not sure we could classify Whitney’s problems as a midlife issue; it began many, many years ago. I have read your article on the subject and recommend it to all my readers. Good stuff. As always, love hearing from you!

Tammy - Hi Scott, well spoken. Unfortunately her life turned in to a train wreck years ago and it was the media who couldn’t wait to splash her drugged or drunk photos in their magazines. You’re right, how can we aspire to higher standards when we have the Kardashian’s, the Jersey Shore crew and the real housewives ruling the airwaves? It’s embarrassing and tragic … for all of us. So, so happy to have you here, thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Maureen, from your mouth to Gods ears. We can only hope that some can learn from example. So far, not a whole of them have. Shout out to Lindsay for sure! It’s great having you here, Maureen. Thanks for posting. It means a lot.

Sharon Westmoreland - Right on! Exactly what I was thinking! Keep up the truthing! Too much money ruins people in my opinion.

Steve - Nice work! Right there with you, Tammy, as always. John Donne’s Meditations ( notwithstanding, Ms. Houston’s death leaves me undiminished.

Far more tragic to me are the lost lives of those whose candles in the wind were snuffed out through no fault of their own: Will Rogers and Buddy Holly spring instantly to mind. And what of baseball Hall of Famer Roberto Clemente, whose plane went down on New Year’s Eve 1972 as he was en route to deliver aid to earthquake victims in Nicaragua? To see Ms. Houston’s death put on a par with his quite frankly fills me with revulsion.

And, like you and Jennifer, I was appalled at Governor Christie’s decision to lower the flag in her honor. How many others, one wonders, did as much or more for New Jersey, but still died in relative anonymity? Will Bruce Springsteen get his props when the time comes? Why or why not?

And the media’s hagiographic coverage of Houston’s death, though disgusting, shouldn’t come as a surprise. Don Henley said it most memorably: “It’s interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry.” They’re going to do what they have to do to make money.

It doesn’t matter. What matters is how we react to it. And as you can see, Tammy, we’re not alone out there.

And isn’t that encouraging.

Tammy - Hi Steve/Paul, I never know which name I should call you. Steve, Paul, Mr. Mallory or perhaps we will have to settle on “Your Highness”? Works for me. Your post touched a chord in me. I couldn’t agree more with your statements. I am still a bit befuddled as to why there was so much focus on this particular death. The media had no problem trashing her lifestyle and choices for years, and now they love her? It’s all so ridiculous. I also remember Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper. It was the night the music died. Now THAT was a tragedy. I truly hold the belief that people who have been given extraordinary gifts were blessed and called upon to share them. To abuse yourself and your God given talent, to flush your life down the drain, well, I have little patience for it. But to revere someone who has done exactly that … I have NO patience for. Our media has lost touch with what is important in our world. And that is a damn shame. To look up to drug addicts and alcoholics is beyond my understanding. You’re right, surprisingly, we are not alone in our way of thinking…and yes, it is indeed encouraging. I thought for sure I was in for an earful of disagreeing statements. I was ready for the lashing. Wonderful insight Steve/Paul/Mr. Mallory. Thanks for being here and for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate all three of you (giggle).

Tammy - Hi Sharon, thanks for the encouragement. To tell you the truth I really didn’t expect many to agree with me. I’m surprised and feel encouraged. I mean no disrespect to Ms. Houston. She was in fact a fabulous and beautiful talent. Somewhere along the way she lost sight of what was important and lived her life in years of drugs and booze. I didn’t respect it then, and I don’t respect it now. Maybe you’re right…maybe money does ruin people. Thanks for posting. I love having you here!

Tammy - Hi Judith (aka Ditto-head), we are sisters from another mother. But to tell you the truth I’m very surprised at all the comments I received. I braced myself for some pretty stern opposition. You’re right, it’s pretty revolting that so many screwed up celebs are revered. As one of my readers pointed out, it’s hard to hold out for a higher standard when you see The Jersey Shore crew and the Kardashian’s raking in the bucks for their idiocy. It would seem, according to the replies to this post, that there is more sensibility out there than first anticipated. Go figure. Maybe there is hope after all?! Thanks for sharing, loved your post.

Suerae Stein - Hi Tammy! I am in total agreement about the flag – so wrong. And that these talents are God-given gifts that end up so tragically wasted. But I also think that some of the greatest celebrities are not mentally equipped to handle fame and the pressures that go with it. I think the music industry destroys some of these people, uses them, loves them when it suits the business, and spits them out when they’re done with them. And I’ve often thought that fame comes with a steep price. How can anyone famous know that they are loved for who they really are or for their fame and money? I think many of the names you mention lost sight of who they really were. It is a shame. I also agree that the media needs to just let it go. Great piece of writing, as always! ~ Suerae

Tammy - Hi Suerae, I agree with your that many of today’s celebs are ill equipped to handle the money and all its trappings. Many have literally killed themselves with their excesses. Fame does have a price and I sometimes wonder if many had it to do over…would they? I visited Fab Foto Friday on your blog today and loved it as usual. Thanks for popping in. It’s always great to hear your point of view.

Cannon Law - I think we always judge what the relatives could or could´ve done with addicts.

But being in their shoes is another whole story.

Living with an alcoholic or a junkie is a whole diferent story. It´s tiring, sad and not really the best in the world

If these walls could talk …

I’d be mortified. Few people know me as well as my house does. It has offered me comfort from the outside, kept me safe from storms and has heard the unspeakable. My conversations, arguments, tears, laughter, triumphs and remorse have been laid bare within the walls of my home. It is my private place, my […]

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Joan Cooper - In the end – memories are all we have.

If I could only do it again – I would never have sold my home of over 20 years. “Things” I could no longer keep were given away or sold. If I knew where they were – I would buy them back. They were part of my life.

Sad – this California lifestyle offers no real storage – n0 attics or basements. How cold and indifferent the architecture is. No room for memories.

When I go, I hope someone enjoys the things I leave behind – but – only AFTER I go.

laura thomas - You described quite well how I felt leaving my childhood home. I’ve moved many times and have never again felt that tug at my heart!

Jennifer Eubanks - Oh how I remember so vividly you being torn at having to leave your old friend….

It’s always a blessing to read your take on life, and sometimes get a new outlook myself.


Tammy - Hi Jenn, yes, those were the days of progress, change and many a goodbye. And here I stand holding more in my basket of life and happy for it. Yet … I value what I had and there are days that I miss it still. And you. Thanks for posting and for being here.

Tammy - Hi Laura, isn’t it just simply pure how much we hold the memories of our homes so dear? And most people don’t realize it until they have to leave. For some it’s not a home; perhaps an insignificant piece of jewelry, an old cigar box, a childhood toy or a love letter. In my age I’ve learned the value of such things, and it’s never monetary. Priceless. It’s wonderful having you here … thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Joan, I love my memories and I hold them very, very dear. I treasure my mementos and take very good care of them. They are few but they offer a feeling of comfortable nostalgia, a memory of a simpler time when I had all my years ahead of me. When I was 9 my most treasured possession was my skate key. When I was in my twenties it was my home and furnishing. In my thirties it was my daughter. And now, it is what it always should have been; myself. Quite the journey! Thanks for being here, Joan, you’re pretty awesome.

Kellie - Tammy
I know what you are feeling. Several years ago my parents sold the Orange County childhood house I grew up in when they moved to the desert area. It took me over 1 year to be able to drive past the house when I was in town. The house was even sold to a friend of the family and not to some random stranger. This house was where I went for comfort and to feel safe when times got hard. I still never go by the house when in the O.C.

Scott Morgan - As usual, I agree with whatever you’re saying. When we sold off my parents’ house, after they’d been there for 40 years, I felt an odd urge to tell the house “I love you.” Still not used to the fact that other people are in the place now, and I can’t just time i please.

Stephen C. Spencer (@PaulDMallory) - No special insight to share this time; not even a pseudo-clever remark.

I suspect if those walls of yours could see as well as talk, they would agree with me that this is a good a piece of writing as I’ve seen in a very long time. And then they’d beg you not to leave!

Good for you, Tammy. Nice going!

Tammy - Hi Scott, that is the sweetest story; you wanted to tell the house you loved it? It was probably because you loved feeling safe all those years and you appreciated sharing your life moments in its walls. Isn’t it remarkable how so much of our living, our crying, our laughing and our hurting goes on in the confines of our home? My house is a kind of ‘secret holder’, holding all of them tight – and me with it. So glad to know I’m not alone. Thanks, Scott, for sharing and for being on the other side of my posts.

Tammy - Hi Stephen, what, no pseudo-clever remark? I think you are holding back. Thanks for the complimentary feedback. It’s easy writing what you feel. You never know when you put something out there like this if your readers will think you have lost your mind. Which, by the way, I do, on a regular basis! Thanks so much for being here and for contributing. It means tons!

Tammy - Hi Kellie, isn’t it funny how attached we get to an old house? I think it has more to do with our growing up and all the emotions, dramas and highs that come with it. Of course, speaking for myself, I am still in the process of growing up; probably always will be. Always appreciate your input and point of view. I’m grateful to have you here!

Kesha Brown - Yes, you still are the rage I’m sure Tammy! The new house better watch out! 🙂

And I love this statement: “Life without treasures seems a little fruitless.” YES, totally agree 🙂


Tammy - Hi Kesha, only in my own mind, and that’s all right with me. Thanks for being here, always, always great to hear from you!

Love is a fickle beast

Women love it, men dread it and singles hate it. Welcome to Valentine’s Day. When I was newly married, one of my first Valentine’s Day gifts was a Hoover vacuum. Clearly he had missed the meaning of the occasion. Sadly this was not the worst gift I’ve ever received on the day of love. There […]

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Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Hey Tammy:
Thanks for the VD info., but I only found one small mistake in your analysis. SEX sells and most men think fancy gifts and romance leads to sex! Come to think of it, your home pregnancy data suggests they may be right! My all-time favorite name for a home pregnancy test: Answer Plus! … the understatement of the century!
LOVE, Laura

Michelle D Keyes - Tammy I just LOVE this post! I have never been much of a holiday person – I’m not sure why. I get kinda excited by Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years (and am quickly exhausted by them as well) but the rest of the holidays? Not so much. In fact, fake it til you make it is more my response to holidays. Now that I have a family of my own, it’s a little easier to get excited about the holidays – seeing my daughter’s excitement usually does a lot for me. Valentine’s Day (VD) has never been particularly high on my list of holidays. In fact, if there’s any holiday I’m likely to forget about, it’s that one. I’m allergic to chocolate, flowers aren’t a big deal (unless my fiance surprises me with them in which case I melt) to me, eating out happens on a regular basis for us (at least once a month) and after Christmas, who really has the money to spend on expensive gifts anyway? That being said, my fiance and I are happy to use it as an excuse for a date night and a night away from the kid(s). Hmm.. maybe it should be my favorite holiday after all? Thanks for the laughs! 🙂

Nancy Wurtzel - Tammy, you have totally captured my feelings about VD!!! That’s how I’ve always referred to it: “The dreaded VD”…so true! I love the tube socks and that may take the prize. The vacuum actually sounds pretty good! Keep ’em coming on the posts…luv them!

Jenny Paulsen - This is a wonderful story and it is true. 25 years ago I received a coupon for Valentines Day. It was good for a lifetime of love and happiness. No expiration date. You know the guy, best piece of paper ever!

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, it’s always a kick to hear from you. Yup, sex sells and if I had gotten into the market years ago perhaps I’d be living in Beverly Hills now (or Tobacco Road). But as you and I know, sex is miles away from love. It’s wonderful when they intersect and often tragic when they don’t. Thanks for the contribution. Always enjoy hearing from you!

Tammy - Hi Michelle, this was such a fun post to write. I began remembering all of the goofy and tragic gifts that have come my way on this hyped holiday and thought I would share. If I didn’t laugh about it, I’d probably cry. I’m with you; this holiday is purely Hallmark, flowers, candy and diamond driven. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of all those things but think that it would be awesome to receive that stuff throughout the year. Right? But experiencing VD through the eyes of your little girl is way precious and worth its weight in gold. Enjoy the moment and enjoy your date night! So happy you are a reader; thanks for posting!

Scott Morgan - Don’t feel bad, Tammy. Last Valentine’s card I ever got was from my mom, and I was in college!

Tammy - Hi Nancy, yeah, the tube socks might be the winner, a close second to the pig head. I no longer dread VD partially because I have a wonderful man in my life, which by the way still needs GG (Gift Guidance) and partially because I see it for what it is; hype. It seemed much more important to me when in my younger years and when I was alone. Nothing like a healthy dose of ‘love’ everywhere you go to make you feel a bit like a loser when you are a single gal. I’m over it. I’m no loser and I’m not buying into all the hearts and flowers. Although….diamonds would be nice! Just saying. Thanks for posting, its awesome having you here!

Tammy - Hi Jenny, ooooh, that is the sweetest story ever. Yes, I know the guy and he is a keeper. I also know the girl; and he is a very lucky man. Thanks for sharing, I’m still smiling!

Tammy - Hi Scott, I’m still laughing (tears welling). Yeah, you win this one. That’s pretty funny. At least mine wasn’t from my mom (so sweet by the way). Hope this VD finds you with card in hand from your beautiful wife. That and a pair of heart boxers (had to say it). Have a great one and thanks oodles for sharing. Yeah, I’m still laughing.

Jeff Davidson - Tammy,
Happy VD!!
I think being forgotten by someone that you thought had special feelings for you may possibly be the worst. Not necessarily a gift but just a card or a special greeting, call, etc.

This might just be what she needs to say to him on Valentine’s Day:

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, ‘Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!’

The husband said, ‘Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ she said. ‘Just get out.’

Keep writing what is “right!”

Tammy - Hi Jeff, you guys have me in stitches. I can so relate to that joke (is that a bad thing)? But on a more serious note; you’re right in saying that exclusion is the worst. I hadn’t thought of that. Leave it to my readers to set it straight. I remember a boy I had a crush on in high school. He always smiled at me and often went out of his way to help me in one thing or another. VD came along and I got nothing. I would have been thrilled with a candy heart. I still remember the sting. Your comment was funny and thought provoking; as usual. Thanks for sharing and posting!

Lee Lefton - Tammy, you’re too much! But nothing you’ve said about spousal support or lack thereof over the many VDays you’ve spent with He-who-shall-remain-nameless surprises me.

A magnetic pig’s head? What do you suppose the message was there? Rhetorical. Sorry.

Anne and I came to the agreement long ago that we were not going to any more “romantic” $200 per couple prix fixe dinners on a relatively meaningless and totally commercialized holiday. (My apologies to those who disagree). It does have its merits.

A card and a nice bunch of flowers always suffice quite nicely. And we get the latter at Trader Joe’s where the prices are always between $5.99 and $9.99. In fact, I don’t just buy ’em on VD, but at least a couple of times per month when I do the shopping.

It’s the little things like that that really count. You don’t need a special day to do it.

P.S. I miss those days in grammar school when we all traded Valentine’s day cards and gave them to our teachers as well.

Suerae Stein - OMG, Tammy, a squealing pigs head? Really??? Your post cracks me up – thanks for the laugh. It’s a silly holiday, really, but I guess I’m not that romantic anymore. My husband will be out of town on VD, so it’s just me and the kids. But we’ve always been low key about it, and I think if you are both on the same page, that is the best way to be! Thanks for the great post! ~ Suerae

Cindy buehler - Tammy, the Pig’s head was a hoot…but yes, even though VD is a silly, over-commercialized holiday, deep down we all hold out hope for that “meaningful and appropriate” gift. But actually I am yearning for a new canister vacuum cleaner. I love those things! If I could just find one that I could strap to my back………..Anyways, have a very Happy Valentine’s Day! xoxoxoCindy

Tammy - Hi Lee, It IS the little things that count. Lucky Anne for having you as a husband. Being attentive is so important. It goes both ways. Yes, “he who shall remain nameless” was not the best at providing sensitive and sweet gifts. All I can say is love is blind. As I look back on all those things I laugh and sometimes I cry. It was all such a lifetime ago and all that remains are memories. I prefer to focus on the good ones and the funny ones. The squealing pig head wasn’t funny at the time but now, I laugh so hard that my eyes water. Funny how times does that. I too miss those fun elementary days when the class would exchange Valentine’s and we would go home and count them. Life was much simpler then, at least for this girl. As always, love hearing from you. Thanks for posting and for being here.

Tammy - Hi Suerae, it IS a silly holiday! Still, it’s alwasy nice to feel remembered and loved. Spending VD with your kids is the best! Make cupcakes, drink apple cider, play a board game. Wait … I’ll be right over! So happy you got a kick out of the post. Appreciate hearing from you. Thanks so much for being here.

Tammy - Hi Cindy, isn’t it funny how age alters our perception of a good gift?! Seriously. But I hear what you’re saying and love those canister vacuums myself. And you’re right; deep down inside we all hope for a meaningful and romantic token of love. I don’t know about you…but I’m still waiting. Happy VD to you! Thanks for posting, it means a lot!

Jane Redfern Jones - In my first job I worked in a jewellers. We’d get lots of men in buying presents, then, over the following week, the women coming in to exchange them. We were next door to a hotel and on Valentines Day we’d often have people calling in for rings after making a tipsy proposal next door!

Stephen C. Spencer (@PaulDMallory) - I suppose a waffle iron is out of the question…?

Tammy - Hi Stephen, actually, no! Waffle irons rock, especially when they are in the shape of animals. When my daughter was little we had one in the shape of Mickey Mouse. I think I liked it more than she did. You’re too funny! I would love to hear a post from a guy on all the silly things he got for VD throughout the years. I imagine it’s probably just a dreadful. Hope yours is wonderful! It’s great for me, knowing you are on the other end of my rants. Thanks for being here and thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Jane, that’s a funny story. Why is it we always exchange the jewelry? I love the part about sending out for a ring from the hotel next door. Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years. Maybe I should be in a hotel somewhere getting tipsy…with my dog. Haa! Lovely to hear from you…thanks for posting!

Kellie - Tammy
You and I have very similar feelings regarding Valentine’s Day. (see my post) However, my food of choice ALL types. Wish I could say I was a picky eater bring me anything to stuff my face and you are mine forever!

I’d like to thank the little people …

I’ve been nominated for an Oscar! Well, not exactly an Oscar, but close. Okay, not even close but I’m pretty jazzed about it. I’ve been nominated for the Kreativ Blogger award and I’m feeling a little full of myself right now. I’d like to thank all the little people, but since I am one it […]

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Deb - Thank you so much for the time and effort spent on this article. Sometimes we all need to stop and enjoy a good laugh. While life has its ups and downs, it all boils down to how we view it. Your words are uplifting and oozing with positivity (if there is such a word). This provides us with an opportunity to laugh with each other and press on. Will save you as a favorite and return for future ‘shots in the arm.’ Best wishes and keep up the good work!

Billie Jo - I actually knew a few of these things about you (especially #9-customer service reps speaking english!) Congrats on your nomination Tammy! I do not believe that there is anyone out there that is more fabulous than you! Love you bunches!

Liz - How exciting to be nominated for the Kreative Blogger award. Congratulations and well deserved. I will keep fingers and toes crossed that you get your gold statue. You know I love reading your words of wisdom and enjoy your wicked sense of humor. Good luck!

Vicki - I second that nomination!!! Does this mean there will be an after party? Please Please invite me! I love you, I love your mind, I love how you put it all together on paper – you my darling friend are incredible! I also love Red Hots and Bit of Honey – my favorite is JuJubes! xoxox

Steven - Congratulations to you on a nomination well deserved. I really can say that I knew you when… I know the amount of hours and hard work you put into your blogs and it shows. I’m so proud of you. With my love.

Scott Morgan - Not sure I deserve a kiss on the lips, or anywhere else, but you’re welcome. 🙂 You have a great blog and I think people should know about it. And you’ve given me a bunch ‘ newbies to follow on Twitter. So thanks 🙂

Ande Lyons - I love finding Witty Woman Writing in my mailbox! Without a moment’s hesitation I quickly exit whatever I’m working on (today it’s role playing!) and jump over to see what WWW is sharing… knowing I’ll be amused, delighted, amazed and pleasantly distracted.

Congrats, Tammy, on your KBA nomination! And thanks for the Tweep recommendations – love meeting fine feathered folks to follow.



Tammy - Hi Deb, So happy you found your way to me. I LOVE being saved as a favorite but LOVE being subscribed to better (hint-hint). No worries, you’re awesome to post here and I adore you already. Yes, “positivity” is a real word (thank God for it) and I am grateful for your kind review. Humor is my key to survival. I don’t know how else to look at things unless it’s through humors glass. I do have my serious moments and do share them on my blog, but if I do say so myself…I’m still awesome. Come back and visit. I’ll leave the light on for you. Thanks for being here.

Tammy - Hi Billie Jo, It’s been so long since I’ve heard from you. Wonderful to get your post. Thanks for the sweet thoughts. I can think of a billion peeps more fabulous than me but tonight I’m going to take your word for it and revel in the glory of it all. Yes, I guess you would remember that fateful phone call. Will I ever live it down? Tell your mom I love her more. I love you bunches too. Thanks for posting and hanging in here with me.

Tammy - Hi Liz, It is fun and exciting to be mentioned and valued by my peers! Color me grateful. I’m not sure my words are wise but I know they are often wicked. So happy you enjoy reading the combination of the two. I so enjoy knowing you are on the other end of them and thank you for posting. Great to hear from you.

Tammy - Hi Vicki, gee, I never asked about an after party. Hmm, good thought. If there is, yes, you’re invited! If there isn’t…you’re still invited. My daughter has always told me that I’m a party in my own mind. One more attending can’t hurt. Rest assured there will be plenty of JuJubees and Red Hots. Let’s throw some cinnabuns in for good measure. Thanks for sending me all that love, I’m wrapping myself in it right now. And it feels great. By the way…I love you back! Thanks so much for posting. I’ve missed you.

Trenna - Tammy, my gal, you are one of my “people”. Love everyone of your blogs. You are a comic genius! We missed you, come back soon. tk

Tammy - Hi my Steven, yes, you knew me waaaay back when. I’m so very happy to have you here by my side as I crank this stuff out. Support is everything to me, and you are too. With my love back.

Tammy - Hi Scott, well then, how about a solid pat on the back and a hefty handshake? It’s always wonderful when a peer recognizes your work; a kind word, some encouragement, a helpful suggestion. I’m grateful for it. I do love my little blog and I hope that one day it will be read by millions. Well, maybe not millions, but a whole lot of people. Thanks for helping to make me feel like I’m not the only one who might think that. One day (fist waving in air). Thanks for posting – you’re pretty damn awesome yourself!

Tammy - Hi Ande, aren’t you just the nicest person in the world?! Gee whiz. I love being your distraction and I hope I don’t disappoint. I’d like to think of myself as amusing, delightful and amazing, but let’s not get crazy here, we both know I’m just an old broad that sits behind her computer and writes what she thinks and hopes not to get arrested for it. You are a boost in my day for sure! Thank you for being here … and thank you for posting. It means a lot.

Tammy - Hi Trenna, you are one of my ‘people’ too. I’m happy to know you are reading and even happier to know you are enjoying. Am I a comic? Kinda. A genius? Not hardly, but who am I to argue with you?! Thanks for dropping in and posting. It’s wonderful hearing from you!

Kesha Brown - Tammy, I am soooo flattered by, first, you nominating me and, second, for the kind, lovely words you’ve shared of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (overboard on the exclamation points??!!)

I am so glad we met because you are one of my uncommon chicks and I LOVE your writings! You are hilarious and I can see you on stage one day making millions laugh as well (maybe that’s what you’ll be when you grow up!) 😉



Tammy - Hi Kesha, I am awesome aren’t I?! But you, my dear, are even more awesome. Congrats on your nomination, you are a hard working blogger that always delivers. I never forget a good writer. My peeps will be checking you out. One day we must actually meet and have a cup of coffee and talk about how we are going to fix the world. Or maybe we’ll just gossip. Always happy to have you here.

Kesha Brown - I’d love to meet you one day and we can talk about fixing the world AND gossip because we’re versatile and kreativ like that 😉

Lee Lefton - Tammy,

First of all, many congrats on your nomination. I read very few blogs but always yours.

Second, almost everything you’ve said resonates big time with me.

Third, I just plain love you and always have. And Anne knows it. She’s always said that if I run off with you, just be sure to take my laundry.

In all seriousness, you’re really, really amazing.


Jeffrey Davidson - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!
I too enjoy your creative, sensitive, poignant, humorous and topical blogging. Better yet, I enjoy knowing you.
Keep up the great work and remember that life is like an elevator, it has its ups and downs!

Tammy - Hi Lee, First of all, thank you for always reading my blog. I know you are uber busy and a very discriminate reader. I’m happy to have made the grade.
Second of all it appears that once again we have a lot of common ground; from being loyal, insecure, aging writers with teaming tempers that love dogs and refuse to grow up.
Thirdly, when we do run away together, please leave the laundry behind. Can we bring Anne with us?
In all seriousness, I love you too and think you are really, really amazing.
Thanks, Lee, I loved reading all of it and appreciate you tons.

Tammy - Hi Jeff, thanks! And I, kind sir, enjoy knowing you. Thanks so much for the kind words. I’m so happy your are here with me.

Jane Redfern Jones - Well done Tammy! Very well deserved:)

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Hope you win! Are you back from Europe already??? How was it? – Laura Lee

Suerae Stein - Oh Tammy, what can I say? You SO SO SO deserve this award and I’m so glad to read about your life – it is SO SO SO much more exciting than mine! That must be why I love your blog so much – you have a worldliness about your writing and your humor is incredibly intelligent and thoughtful.

This all makes me feel even more honored that you chose to put my blog on your list – especially after my long absence. I am forever grateful to you. You even convinced me to go ahead and write and publish my latest blog about why I have been MIA. You’re an inspiration and I’m so glad to have found you and your blog – thank you, thank you, thank you! xo, Suerae

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, yes, we made it back from Spain and we loved the adventure. It was tough hobbling around Europe with a cast on my foot (fractured it in 3 places the day before we left) but I didn’t miss a beat. Great to see you here and thanks for the post!

Tammy - Hi Suerae, oh my goodness, all I did was pass on the nomination to a very worthy blogger (um, that be you). I know you haven’t posted in a couple of months (maybe 3) but you’re blog is gorgeous and your writing sublime. I’ve missed it and knew you had to have a good reason for being gone. I also have an innate feeling that you need to be back at it and we need to read you there. Thanks for the kind words; I appreciate your compliments very much. I love my little blog and I love the people on the other side of it. I will be watching and reading you with complete delight…as always. It’s really wonderful to have you back.

Joan Cooper - I rolled on the floor laughing at you being a ‘dog in a prevous life’.

As I read on, I was completely sold on you as a writer and a person. And there are very very few persons I even care to give the time of day to. I realize my faults as I read your resume. I am told I am cynical, but I know I am a realist. Why is there so much contempt for reality in real life?

Keep it coming, Tammy. Proud of you.

Tammy - Hi Joan, you have just given me a great compliment; to read me and then be sold on myself and my writing, well, that’s pretty damn awesome. I am thrilled to bits to be one of the very few people you share a little time with in your day. Thrilled. I’m not sure how reading my ‘resume’ of life could in any way help you to realize your faults. Cynicism is only a fault if it is to the extreme (pretty much like all extremes). I’m not sold on the idea that there is contempt for reality but can offer that too much of it can cloud the ability to think positively, to dream, to anticipate good things. Reality, when dwelled upon, squashes hope. That’s my two cents. You always bring such interesting takes on the subjects talked about. I will keep it coming and I thank you for being proud of me. It means a lot.

Tammy - Thanks, Jane. And thanks for stopping by. I welcome the visit and appreciate the post.

Cindy buehler - Congrats, Tammy!!!! I love your blogs, I love your directness and honesty. I can’t believe we have so much in common! I hate clowns too!!!! When you win, the tequila shots are on me!!

Michelle D Keyes - Love your post Tammy! Congrats!

Tammy - Hi Cindy! I’m thinking we should form some kind of clown recovery program. It appears the fear is a lot more common than I ever imagined. Ya gotta wonder why! So happy to have you reading and always love your comments. I’ll take you up on those tequila shots (although after one, I’m wasted) – I’m a cheap date. Thanks for posting, its grand having you here.

Tammy - Hi Michelle, thanks, and I love that I know your are on the other side of them! Thanks for popping in and posting. You’re awesome!

jacqueline dick - Hi Tammy! First let me thank you for nominating me for this award. What a lovely surprise! You’ve raised the bar, and now I’ll really have to be good! Second, my apologies for being so late in thanking you and accepting this nomination. It is true what Tennessee Williams said about sometimes relying on the kindness of strangers. We don’t know one another at all…you through my blog and now me through yours…Love your sense of humor, and will be visiting more often. Thank you again, so, much, Tammy!

Tammy - Hi Jacqueline, nice to formally cyber meet you. No worries about the delay, there is no time frame on accepting honors and I was happy to bestow it. It is well deserved. Thanks for the kind words, I love your sense of humor too (shocker) and look forward to reading your posts. Hope you have a good weekend with your company. So happy you stopped in, hope to see you back.

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