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To err is human, to forgive is ….

… a lot tougher than I thought. Forgiveness is a tricky thing. It’s a hard thing to get and an even harder thing to give. Who hasn’t experienced the inability to forgive? Forgiveness is far more Godly that I originally thought. It’s tough business offering up absolution when you are left feeling insulted, wounded and […]

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Ande Lyons - Tammy,

Thank you for your beautiful post exploring the turbulent waters of forgiveness. There are so many ways to view this amazing act of courage.

One doesn’t condone the behavior or action or hurt. However, as my dear friend Robin Casarjian wrote, Forgiveness – a bold choice for a peaceful heart, says it all!

Cheers!

Ande Lyons

Tammy - Hi Ande, you are so right … the waters of forgiveness are indeed turbulent. You have a wise friend there; I for one would fully embrace a peaceful heart. I have been asked for forgiveness only a handful of times in my life. I can remember only once giving it. I’m not sure why it is harder to give than to receive this mountainous gift, but it simply is. I would like to consider myself a giving, loving and forgiving heart. It is a life goal that always has my attention. I’m not there yet … but never underestimate a driven woman. Thanks for posting…very good to have you here!

Joan Cooper - I don’t feel that “forgiveness” is a necessary or even desirable action. People should be held responsible for what they do. I have lived a long time and I have a long list of people here and gone, that I will never forgive. It does not mean that I wish or plan them any harm, but I will not allow their actions that hurt me to be washed away. Let them feel the loss of my being – it evidently wasn’t very important to them anyway. In my opinion – ‘turn the other cheek’ will only lead to more problems and does nothing to enhance my life. Religion and Philosophy lean too much on platitudes and do not deal with reality. Until you really face what reality is – you cannot progress.

Harsh? No. Realistic.

Jeffrey Davidson - I can forgive those that I choose too such as friends who made a mistake and are truly attoning for their error; a family member who also made a mistake because I care for them and want things to be as they were.

However, for those that have done dispicable acts, I feel forgiving them has let them feel that it is alright to do what they did. Murderers, spousal, child and animal abusers, rapists, etc. have taken away something that can never be returned. If forgiving them gives them any peace, I am not for it.

I do not dwell on it and, therefore, do not give up any of my own peace nor feel forever tied to that individual.

I would not forgive Manson, Hitler, Dalmer, Bundy, etc., etc. But, I do not walk around with any lack of inner peace because of it.

Several years ago there was a movie with Lee Remick, George Segal and Rod Steiger. The part played by Rod Steiger murdered women who reminded him of his mother. In the end, when he was dying, he asked George Segal to forgive him and Segal looked at him and walked away while Steiger was crying and died.

Perhaps not as much suffering as he caused others but I feel that he deserves no peace for his actions. Therfore, no forgiveness and I will sleep quite peacefully.

Well written article. You express yourself very well!

Jeff Davidson

Kellie - Tammy great subject. yes forgiveness is a tricky deal. I am on the page of forgive don’t forget. Forgive as if you do not you give that person OH WAY TO MUCH POWER over your own happiness. It takes too much time and energy thinking about and hating that person. So you forgive for your own sanity. But you never forget for your own peace of mind.

Tammy - Hi Joan, Well, this puts a whole new perspective on things for me. I agree with so much of what you said. So many of the ‘inflictors’ are underserving (my humble and sometimes misguided opinion). What bothers me is what harboring resentment does to me. I agree with you about how religion and philosophy depend on platitudes (love this word by the way) and don’t see an end to that in my lifetime. I search for a forgiving heart, the ability to completely and utterly let go of my resentment and venom. The search continues. Thank you for posting here…a great, great comment!

Tammy - Hi Jeff, A very interesting take on things. Forgiving a friend or a family member who has done you wrong is tough but the benefits often out way the alternative. I believe, however, that when someone close to you (whom you trusted) betrays you, it is a much larger infraction of the trust than if it were someone you didn’t know. Hurt is hurt but people who bring value to our lives, as you mentioned, are worth the effort of forgiveness. The movie you mentioned is titled “No way to treat a lady” and was one of Steiger’s finest performances. You’re right … it did end with the cop not giving him the forgiveness he so desperately wanted. I LOVE hearing from my readers, it really opens my mind to a different perspective. Thank you for being here and for sharing. You’re awesome!

Tammy - Hi Kellie, You’ve hit the nail on the head. By harboring my resentment I do give power to the person who hurt me. Damn it! I don’t think about it often (I try hard not to) but when I do I feel angry and hurt all over again. It’s exhausting being me! I am left to wonder if we can let this stuff go without having to forgive. I’ll let you know. Thanks for posting; it is more than wonderful having you here!

Rick Gualtieri - I’d agree that forgiving and forgetting are vastly different things. However, I think sometimes forgetting is the more cruel option. My wife and I were discussing this the other night. She said she had a ringing in her ear…perhaps someone was talking bad about her. My response: at least they’re talking about you. Better reaction than indifference. After all, what’s a worse fate: being hated by me with every fiber of my being, or me not caring one bit about you….not even sparing your memory a thought?

That being said, I personally think a lot of people need others we can’t forgive. As a writer I know dislike (or worse) can sometimes lead to new story ideas. I think our “enemies” help keep us sharp and on our toes. I’ve often thought that life could potentially be a bit dull if I liked everyone. 🙂

Jenny - I saw a talk show many years ago and the subject was forgiving but not forgetting. I came away believing that forgiving did help my heart but I also had to listen to my head and forgetting wasn’t wise. This didn’t mean I wanted to carry the feelings and keep remembering but be smart enough and try my best to not get to the place where I would have to let my heart forgive again. This was the saying from the show that I have always remembered — I can forgive but it doesn’t mean I will ever invite you over to my home for potato salad. Silly saying but it has sure helped me, many times.

Tammy - Hi Rick, wow, what a concept. I never thought of the idea of not caring and the fate that indifference would make. Ooooh, I like it! Something to strive for (heh heh) but I must admit it has a mean spirited revenge like sentiment. You know what…I don’t care! You are so right on here … what worse fate is there than to not be considered at all? I can’t think of one. Conviction like that makes sense and takes courage. I admire it. And, you’re right, of course, as writers we learn tons from those we call our enemies. They do indeed keep us on our toes and watching our backs. I’m not sure if life would be dull if I liked everyone in it. I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot. Approaching the age of 59 my list of un-desirables has grown considerably. I might entertain the thought that the problem was me … um, but that would just be silly. Thanks for being here, Rick. Great having you on the other side of my posts!

Tammy - Hi Jenny, LOVE, LOVE that saying! I will remember it. We are on the same page, my sister from another mother, and am hoping to have enough conviction in the blessings of forgiveness to be able to offer it up. The jury is still out. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. You made my day!

Rick Gualtieri - Often times I think the best answer to “Well I think you’re a XXXXX.” is “Yes, but at least you’re thinking of me.” Instant argument win right there. 🙂

Scott Morgan - Thought-provoking as always, Tammy.

Tammy - Thanks, Scott. I try. So great to have you here….really.

Jane Redfern Jones - I like the saying by Oscar Wilde “Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” Sometimes forgiving someone can make you the stronger person. Having said that, I would never forget, and there are some people I could never forgive either.

Tammy - Hi Jane, welcome to my world. I almost used Oscar’s quote in the blog. He has so many good ones. I think we’d all like to be the better person in most situations. I am no exception. And I would love to have a forgiving heart. But, like you, there are some people I can’t seem to forgive and I will never forget. And so I continue to try to understand and to grow. LOVE having you here! Thanks for posting.

Jo VonBargen - Great blog! So easy to discuss the platitude, but so hard to practice it sometimes.

I always liked Oscar Wilde’s quote, which Jane already offered above.

Forgiveness is, though, the ultimate act of love, which is supposed to be our main job. Sometimes I call in sick.

Greg - A great blog on a very hard subject! So glad I was introduced to your blog.

Tammy - Hi Greg, Thanks for the good review. Hope you come back and visit. Would so love to have ya! Tough subjects; I’ve got a million of em. Thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Jo, I’m with you, girl, I call in sick too. (still giggling about that). If forgiveness is the ultimate act of love, then I guess we had better leave it to the dogs who seem to know how to forgive as part of their everyday. Maybe I’m a cat person at heart. Great having you here, hope to see you back! Thanks for the post.

Michelle D Keyes - I can completely identify with this post! Having grown up in an abusive home, I was 25 before I could finally forgive my parents and let the pain go. Unfortunately, because they are narcissistic unhealthy people, when I let the hurt go and forgave them it also meant letting them go as well. Once I had my daughter it opened my eyes to just how cruel and horrible they were to me as a child. I would never do anything to my daughter, who I love to pieces, like all the things my parents did to me. Not only was their treatment intolerable to me but I would never subject my daughter to them! You are right – it is very difficult to forgive and takes a lot of courage. When you’ve been substantially hurt by someone, the pain can be like acid eating at your soul. I was self-destructive for ten years until therapy helped me see what I was doing to myself. It took three years and I still have regular therapy sessions. But forgiveness can be such a relief – I no longer think about them everyday.

Thanks for sharing this inspiring and uplifting post!

Tammy - Hi Michelle, I’ve got to say that some things feel unforgivable. Isn’t it amazing how our children bring out the courage in us? What I would put up with I would never allow to happen to my daughter. Full circles heal. I think you and I are on the same page here. It hurts me to hear how much you have suffered. But my heart sings to read that you have found your way through the woods. I hope that you continue to never give them a thought. So very happy to have you here and so very glad for your post.

kriti - Tammy, food for thought indeed! There is another aspect of this. Can you rest in peace when you waiting to be forgiven? I cannot let go of the person who has not forgiven me either. So I am in deeper trouble that you are… Lord give me courage!

Tammy - Hi Kriti, You’re right, of course, the heart that holds a grudge and carry’s resentment has a very hard time resting in a peaceful happy state. Between you and me, I think it has a lot to do with the pain it feels in the betrayal it did not see coming. In other words, I’m not sure it’s our fault. Sometimes people don’t deserve forgiveness. I just simply wish the cost of not forgiving wasn’t ours to bear. I’m standing in that courage line right along with you! So happy to see you here, it’s been a while. Thanks for posting!

And the award goes to …

Tammy Bleck for her outstanding achievement at fending life’s perils, jabs and obstacles (applause). Accepting her award Tammy is wearing a lovely pink fuzzy robe made by Charter Club complimented by her sleek leopard print slippers by Danskin. Her outfit is complimented by stylish curlers and a minimum amount of make-up, giving her a very […]

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Scott Morgan - How is it that I SO love EVERY WORD you write? I once wrote a column (way back when I was a reporter) asking “What if character was currency?” Seems you’re asking the same thing. Pity we’ll never get an answer… But you do ask it well. 🙂

Rick Gualtieri - All excellent points. Unfortunately, judging by the news and what people appear to consider important, I am forced to come to the conclusion that common sense is not all that common.

Forget movie stars, when we as a people are willing to put the cast of Jersey Shore on a pedestal and devote over a week of news coverage to Beyonce’s baby, especially when people like teachers and firefighters etc etc earns salary that barely puts them over the poverty line, well that says something.

I like your idea of an award. Effort definitely counts and we should all take a little time to show some appreciation to those who do make, even a small, effort to make this a better place.

Tammy - Hi Scott, how is it I SO love that you love every word I write?! You were a reporter? That’s interesting stuff, now I’m feeling uber intimidated. Well, okay, I’m over it. So, if character were currency, we’d be rich, right? Nice thought. Thanks for your post, so love having you here. Really.

Jim Dougherty - I was watching the Golden Globes and thinking similar thoughts about the frivolity of it all. If I had an award I would give it to you for keeping things in perspective!

Tammy - Hi Rick, I love your comment “common sense is not all that common”. Amen. I’ve never watched the Jersey Shore, Beyonce or the Kardashians. The thought repels me. But even more disturbing are the millions that covet the coverage and, as you say, put them on a pedestal. Kind of leaves my heart with a little less hope. Where is our sense of sensibility? I am left to wonder. So, so happy to have you here. Hope you subscribe and become a weekly reader and commenter. You rock.

Tammy - Hi Jim, Thanks, and I shall accept the award in my fancy schmancy bathrobe because that’s how I roll. Hard to keep things in perspective out here in LaLa land but reality is a crushing entity that few can escape. Frivolity has it’s place but I sure don’t think it deserves an award. Thanks for posting … I hope you subscribe and become a weekly reader of my nonsense. I am a fan of yours.

kellie kennedy - Yes in deed my curler topping , robe wearing babe!

Funny I heard of golden globes host/comedian say (of course ) Nestorius for the sarcasm and thin skinned celebrities. “These people are the most pampered and lucky people in life and to be honored doing this in life…Buck up and don’t take yourself too serious.” Perhaps we should replace the
golden globes next year with teacher of the year awards televised Live!

Kris Henderson - Love it….again.

Jane Steen - I, too, appreciate the ‘ordinary hero’ far more than I do the celeb. If I pick up People Magazine in a waiting room, I flip to the back for the real people stories.

Instead of all these TV shows encouraging people to become celebrities with all the problems fame brings, why don’t we celebrate our everyday lives? Perhaps we should bring back gritty TV dramas with people who aren’t incredibly good looking. Remember those?

Joan Cooper - Tammy – you should be in Congress. I will work for your election.

Joan

Tammy - Hi Kellie, Love your suggestion about a teacher of the year award ceremony. Unfortunately no one would watch. Not all, but a good many of celebs have no clue what the real world is like. There but for the grace of God go them. As always, so very happy to read your post. I shall always remain your robe wearing babe!

Tammy - Hi Kris, Love YOU … still! Thanks for stopping by. Happy you enjoyed the read.

Tammy - Hi Jane, I love the idea of celebrating our everyday lives. What a wonderful idea. I’m in. I’ve been watching television since it was black and white, bunny ears and no remotes. As I recall everyone was always good looking. The only ‘real’ looking people on TV that I remember were Aunt Bee (Andy Griffith show) and Hazel. Remember them? They were awesome. Um, so was Dr. Kildare (hate to admit it). Real people rock…and so do you! I hope you subscribe to my once a week dose of nonsense. It would be great to have your input here. Thanks for posting!

Tammy - Hi Joan, thanks for the thought but I think I would make way too many enemies to make the grade to the hill. Besides, I have this quirky little habit of hanging around good people of moral character. Don’t think there are any left in Congress. Thanks for posting, it means a lot.

Jane Steen - I grew up in England, where the people on the telly were real. And still are – watch Law & Order UK and see the difference (SO much better than the American version, pardon my bias!)

So Aunt Bee and Hazel are mysteries to me, but I did watch Dr. Kildare occasionally – it must have aired in the UK.

I have subscribed. See you later!

Lee Lefton - A dear friend calls the award you’re referring to an “attaboy.” (or “attagirl”).

So simple, yet so powerful.

And it doesn’t cost a thing.

Attagirl Tammy for your choice words.

Tammy - Thanks, Lee, I’ll take that “attagirl” and raise you an “attaboy”! Love the suggestion and will use it. Thanks for posting, I know you already know this … but you’re awesome!

Tammy - Jane, I’m already sold on the UK. I watch and listen to the BBC everyday. It is so much better than our CNN. It actually covers the world news. Would love to watch some of their telly. So happy to have you on board – Yaaa! We shall have such fun.

The Ugly American

“Ugly American” is a less than affectionate term given to Americans who travel abroad who are a bit loud, lacking in manners and who dress like goobers. Being an American I take offense to the term. Okay, so I may dress like a goober from time to time (I like my leisure suits and sneakers) […]

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kellie kennedy - Tammy welcome home! Sounds fun!
Having been fortunate to have traveled throughout Europe I
found the term “Ugly American” an unfortunate term we got nailed with and stuck with. I find there
Are ugly French,(very) in my travels to France and ugly Itallians too. I have experienced ugly people
in probably every country I have visited along the way in Europe, Africa and Middle East. However, I always remember theses types of people are few and far between and I never let them ruin my experience.

Mel Glenn - A very sweet and informative column on Spain. I
thoroughly enjoyed it.

Cynthia - I’m so glad that you finally visited a part of Europe. I will say that in my travels (and of course many to Czech Republic), I seem to notice a distinct difference when setting foot in a US airport. You do not see people in European airports traveling in sloppy, baggy sweat pants and slippers. Welcome home 🙂

Tis the season

You’re either the person who loves the Christmas season or you are the person who is over it before it starts. I’m a little of both. Christmas these days seems more like an assault. I’ve been listening to Christmas music since the first week of October; a huge assault on my sense of hearing, not […]

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Judith Briles - I love Barcelona… have a fabulous trip… I’m with you on this one!

Liz - Enjoy your first trip to Europe. Spain is wonderful…..looking forward to hearing from you when you get back. Safe journey!
Happy Christmas and Merry Hanukkah to you all.

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - WONDERFUL!!! I LOVE Europe!
Never been to Spain, but Venice is my favorite place in the whole world.
Go make some new traditions, girl!
Love, Laura Lee

Tammy - Laura Lee, I will enjoy it all like it’s my job! Thanks for the post. Hope you have a very merry one!

Tammy - Liz, so very excited and nervous. I packed a little zip lock bag of goodies; candy, nuts, dried apples, etc. Just learned that I can’t take them past security. Bah-Humbug! And so it begins! Have a wonderful holiday with your family. We shall have lots to talk about when I get back.

Tammy - Judith, thanks! We will be spending a few days in Barcelona. So hugely excited and a bit nervous. I envision your lovely home, huge tree and every room in the house decorated to the max. Wonderful! A very merry to you, John and your family. Thanks for being here. See ya when I get back!

Joan Cooper - I remember my first ‘open your eyes now’ experience when I was a child and saw my first lighted Christmas tree. I don’t think I have ever had a more thrilling experience – and I have had some thrilling experiences.

Life today is exhausting. The media bombards us with so much we never used to hear, and our brains and hearts have to digest it all and we can’t. Years ago, there was a book called “Future Shock”. It was about the volume of information growing in our world and that we simply were not built to handle it. I realize that more and more. What better relaxation than to travel to a far off seashore and detach. Not detox – detach.

Have a wonderful trip.

Joan Cooper

Cindy buehler - Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah,
Tammy,
This is the ultimate celebration of the season and of life, to go on this awsome adventure with your loved ones. I truly believe God wants us to see as much of the world as we can. Be safe and be blessed.
xo Cindy

Marcia Nichols - I just “finished” decorating….I know, it’s a little late, and before I know it I’ll be schlepping it all back to the store room. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t need the decor, didn’t need to spend the time prepping the house for the holidays. Then I realized that I love the garland and the little white lights, I love the smell of the tree and the memory that each treasured ornament brings to mind. It’s worth my effort and the back pain that results.
Some day I will stop. Someday I will go to my kids’ homes for Christmas, and I won’t be doing this anymore. Until that time, I’ll enjoy the memories in my home that come with each Santa and wreath and thank God that I’m able to do it.
Enjoy your trip!!! Barcelona is magnificent (don’t miss the harbor) and Madrid is magical (check out the Royal Palace) if you are heading that direction. I look forward to hearing all about it!

Mac - Tammy, nice post.

Welcome to Europe (when you get here). Even though Spain is going through a highly challenging time, right now, I’m sure you will enjoy it.

Barcelona is one of my favourite cities. You’ll love the architecture and the tapas.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year when it comes.

Best wishes, Mac.

Steve - Great post, Tammy—and, regarding your approach to the season, good for you. Have a ball in Spain…or at least a pelota.

Talk to you soon!

kellie kennedy - Tammy
Even though I will be ripping down the tree 30
seconds after January 1st, (due to being sick of looking at the decorations,dusting them, hearing xmas music)the holidays are my favorite time of the year. The holidays have changed for me over
the years, now only spending with
parents and one
aunt(dad’s sister) no other immediate family. The rest are friends. Being only single sybling ( no children of my own adds a different feel to the
Holiday. So I made my own. We will be celebrating this Xmas Eve at my parents house with a combination of their friends and mine … a new normal and tradition. Happy holidays!

Delia - Lovely post, Tammy! We’ve been keeping the celebration of holidays pretty simple… Of course, with kids, it is challenging. But I think that by talking to them, spending time together, plus a few little gifts on the side, haha, we are getting them to understand the real value of the holidays. Glad that you are taking the time to relax. Have a wonderful vacation!

Tammy - Joan, there is nothing that can compare to the childhood memory of Christmas. Life today IS exhausting and somehow Christmas has joined the fray. It was a time of calm, family, visitations and simple gifts. Not anymore. I’ve discovered that less really is more. Who knew!? Yes, we will completely detach. I’m not taking my computer. What? Did I really just say that? OMG, I’m breaking out in a rash already! Thanks for posting, have a wonderful holiday.

Tammy - Cindy, if you are right, and God does want us to see his world … well, I better get crackin! I agree this trip is so special because the people special to me are going with me. Have a blessed holiday and I’ll see you when I get back. Thanks for posting, love hearing from you.

Tammy - Marcia, I get you. Christmas decorating can bring tons of happiness and memories. I still have many of the handmade ornaments that Amanda and I made and some of the special ones that came home from school with her. I will part with those things when you pry then from my cold dead hands. You are right, some day you will be going to your kid’s house for Christmas. No rush, until then it sounds like you are in wonderful bliss continuing your tradition. It is worth it. A very Merry Christmas to you, Marcia, and to your beautiful family.

Tammy - Mac, oh, I’m so excited, we leave tomorrow. Perhaps we should look you up and stop by for dinner. Kidding, just kidding. Spain is having a very difficult time at the moment, not unlike the rest of the world. I read that the unemployment is up to 20+% and it makes me think that we American’s should quit our bitching. I am so looking forward to experiencing the beauty and wonder of the country, its people and their traditions. I am a first timer and am hoping to become a frequent visitor. Thanks for being here, love having you. And let me know what we can bring to dinner (hee hee).

Tammy - Steve, thanks, I will have a pelota for you, my friend. Have a wonderful holiday. Great having you here, hope I see you here again soon. Thanks for the post!

Tammy - Kellie, hahaha, they say that the two best days of Christmas is getting the tree and taking it down. I can relate. Kudos’ to you for making your own celebration! I am an only child and have an only child. I understand what it means to be a small family. I always told my daughter that we may be a small family but we are a mighty one. I suspect the same holds true for you. A very merry Christmas to you and yours. Thanks for the post…see ya when I get back.

Tammy - Delia, I must confess that I often was unable to meet the challenge of keeping Christmas the small meaningful holiday it was meant to be. Hard to do when you have a child. We all get caught up in the giving. A blessing and a curse. You’re right … it IS challenging. So happy to have you here and so enjoyed your post. I will enjoy our adventure. Am starting to get butterfly’s in my stomach – we depart tomorrow. Hope to see you here again in the future; you are a delight to be sure. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Maureen - Lucky lady, I can’t wait to hear about Spain!!

Was in Walgreens last weekend…they have VALENTINE’S candy hearts available already…SHEESH, give me a break already!!

Happy Holidays!!!

Kris Henderson - Can’t wait to hear of your NEW Christmas adventure!

cheryl - Tammy,

Have been thinking of you. Hope your trip to Europe was all you hoped for.

Glad the holidays are over except for missing Michael——–wish he would decide to move home——–not going to happen. It was a nice time, and, yes, it is nice not to feel the pressure to do all the decorating and cooking——-and shopping. We keep it pretty simple these days. For me, the holidays are a time to be aware and thankful for the life I have. In fact, these days I’m reminded of that often.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!

Tammy - Cheryl, Sounds like you had a peaceful and family filled holiday. Brings to mind that no matter how grown up our kids get, we still miss the hell out of them when they are not with us. Tough business. I think we’ve both discovered that holidays are a time to reflect and be grateful. You know this because you are wise. I know this because life beat me over the head with the lesson. I got it now and I’m grateful for the knowing. Happy New Year to you, my friend. Let us be hopeful.

Michelle D Keyes - Awesome post. I just had to comment because the date you posted this on (12/21) is my birthday. lol But I definitely agree with you about Christmas.

Tammy - Happy belated birthday, Michelle. Hope it was grand!

The Naked Truth

Few people would pose naked for a magazine cover.  I wouldn’t. Wait … if they paid me a million bucks, I would give it some serious thought. We all have a price.  Just ask Lindsay Lohan. Most of us would do pretty much anything for those we love. Sacrifice for love is an act of […]

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Judith Briles - Suck it up is what many of us have had to do to keep dog-paddling. Pride doesn’t pay the bills or put food on the table. The mirror is critical…and so is the assessment and re-assessment. Especially today. Most of the jobs people lost … they are not lost jobs, they are GONE jobs. As is past tense. They aren’t coming back. Looking for the same old, same old is yesteryear’s script. What will be new, is mostly like NEW–so suck it up while you prepare, learn and grown into the NEW … the next, next whatever …

hmmm…the posing nude part—how much of that fruit from the Calendar Girls can we use?

Kellie - Ms. Tammy
Bravo! You said it perfectly. Humble pie … not enough of us have it! This year should bring us all to our knees to eat a little plate of our chosen flavor.

Tammy - Judith, you’ve got that right. Sucking up is the new norm and I’m just happy to be getting by. By some peeps standards I have sold out. By mine, I’m surviving the best way I can. Terms and conditions have all changed. So has the outlook. You hit the nail on the head when you said ‘prepare, learn and grow into the new’. I’ve learned simply not to look back but only to take those lessons learned with me into the great unknown. I think it will continue to be a wild ride. Re the posing nude … I’m going to need some pretty hefty, healthy fruit or some mighty big feathery fans. Just saying. Thanks for being here and for posting. It was awesome!

Tammy - Kellie, Humble pie is on order for many of us I’m afraid. I think we all know people who could use a healthy dose of humble. It’s too bad that people forget what it’s like in the struggle of things. We all have our ups and downs, I would just like not to be judged by either. Of course, I am my worst critic. Thanks for posting!

Joan Cooper - You really know how to hit the nail on the head.

Wait a minute – if they wanted me badly enough to offer a million – I would NEGOTIATE. I would like beautiful well placed veils over me, and candlelight only. Maybe some other things if I think of it.

Remember we were created as a work of art – well, at least I tend to think of it that way. Eve was bare and changed the planet. Nothing is black or white.

Your points about work and jobs is very very well taken.

joan

Tammy - Joan, you are too funny. Of course, candle light is a must. And negotiation is always on the table, but I doubt the offers will come pouring in. Thanks for reading and thanks even more for posting. Love having you here!

Darbie - Beautifully said Tammy-! Again! Yes we can all use a good kick in the a.. sometimes to realize what really matters in life. One of the happiest person I ever knew, owned very little material wise and was probably better off than most. 😉 And just for the record- expect those offers to start pouring in!

Cynthia - Oh such true words again…pride shows its face to us in different ways…someone close to me is realizing it slowly and it warms my heart. I love you Tammy.

Tammy - Cynthia, everything comes to those who wait. But it appears you already know that. I love you too (bnialw). Happy Hanukahh Cynthia. Good things are coming your way. Thanks for being here … it means a lot.

Tammy - Darbie, Yes, a kick in the pants generally comes when we are not looking. Funny how that works. Money matters, that’s for sure, but without it I would still be every bit as rich. That’s no lie. I’ve learned from the best. And about those offers … I’m sitting by the phone but I’m not quitting my day job. So wonderful hearing from you, it’s great to know you are on the other side of my little blog. Thanks for posting!

Scott Morgan - Nice. Someone once told me “enjoy it when you can, deal with it when you have to.” No work is beneath anyone.

Peter Bartkiw - Hi Tammy, Your comments are so honest! I truly appreciate your being so candid ! A great posting ! I have a brother who is very, very set financially ! However , he does not seem happy at all ! I truly feel for him,and wish him real happiness ! It,s really bizarre but i,m starting to believe that money does not buy happiness! It is a good thing that i,m becoming cognizant of this , as it would be truly scary to see me naked period! Yikes! Peace, Peter!

Tammy - Scott, I don’t know who said that but they are a genius! I WILL enjoy it while I can and only deal with it when I have to! And for those who don’t know that no work is beneath anyone, well, good luck. Karma has a way of teaching just that. Thanks for posting, great having you here, Scott.

Tammy - Peter, you are too funny; so awesome to hear from you. I know what you mean; money is important, no doubt. But it takes many of us a lifetime to learn that it won’t buy you happiness. I know plenty of miserable millionaires. Harvard did a study once that showed us that buying big tag items provides a substantial thrill that lasts for about 6 months. After that, you need to buy something else to keep the feeling going. Of course, true happiness is love based. Love of self, love of child, love of friends, family and that special someone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always pursuing the almighty dollar. I appreciate my creature comforts and look forward to the security it brings me. But I know that money won’t keep me warm at night, dry my tears or hold me tight. I think it’s all about keeping things real. Easier said than done. Oh, and by the way, let me know if you ever pose naked – I could do a blog about it! Thanks for posting, love having you here.

cheryl - Tammy
There is certainly no way I would pose naked—for the amount of money they would be willing to pay me——ha.

Loved your comments on dealing with what life deals us. I’ve heard the quote somewhere, “Do what you love and the money will follow”———or not. It really shouldn’t matter. Also, there are those who work to live——-and those who live to work. I feel that I am a “work to live” as my time outside work is most valuable to me—-I would say my husband is the opposite. He is still looking for a job because that is what makes him feel valuable.

Happy holidays and travels!!!!!!!!!!

Tammy - Cheryl, I’m with you. I’m pretty sure I posed naked when I was one. The choice wasn’t mine. I wrote this particular post because it sometimes feels to me that I sell out. Sell out on my dreams, my aspirations and my abilities. But then I remember that I do whatever it takes to get the bills paid and the job done. The dreams, aspirations and abilities are all still there. It’s hard to remember that these days. It has been said that men equate their value by what they bring into the household; women equate their value by making one. I think I would have to agree. Happy to be home and to have your posts to read.

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