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Goodbye, so Long …. Please don’t go!

Goodbyes suck. I’ve never had one that was much fun. Unless, of course, you count the dates I’ve been on where I wanted to stick a red hot poker in my eye just to end it early. Those were excellent goodbyes.

I think goodbyes are there to teach us stuff. I will belligerently share with you that I never asked for any of these life lessons. I thought I was pretty awesome without them.

I’ve learned that moving on doesn’t necessarily mean moving up. There are lots of things and people I would rather hang on to. Our lives are less full when we lose them, and we are often left to wonder about the fairness of things.

Life’s a bitch, and goodbyes are a good reason why.

Saying goodbye to my one and only child at her dorm room door almost killed me. Well, okay, maybe I’m being a tad dramatic, but it sure felt like a death sentence. In a way it was. My life was never the same. Neither was hers. It all ended well, we both grew up (she more than me) and we grew closer to each other. Each time I see a mother bird tending her nest full of babies, I make it a point to stop and talk to her about her upcoming heart break. Just my way of helping mother-nature out.

When I had to put down my cat, Figaro, I gave him a long last hug, the kind of hug you give when you know you won’t ever hug again. I thanked him for all that he gave me and for standing by me through thick and thin. And then he was gone. It broke me. I think we lean on our pets because they give us so much and ask for so little in return. It’s a pretty easy relationship to get use to … unless you want it with a human. I still begrudge that goodbye.

Saying goodbye to my dad, leaving the room where his casket lay, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I knew I would never be in the same room as him again. I didn’t want to leave. That goodbye is with me every day. An unwelcome memory of a life ended too soon.

Saying goodbye to my 25 year marriage was tough business. Of course, so was the marriage. It was the right thing to do, and I have no regrets, but it still feels like my biggest failure. I learned a lot during the marriage. I’m still not sure what I learned from ending it, but I’m sure it’s brilliant!

We all have different stories, but we will all end our road with a bucket full of goodbyes. Personally, I think we could all use more hellos.

I’ve learned to embrace the goodbyes in my life, mostly because I have no choice. But also because I began to notice that with every single one of them, there is a new beginning of sorts. A vacancy left to be filled with new meetings, loves, adventures and opportunities … and undoubtedly more goodbyes.

I did not come to this conclusion gracefully, but I guess all that matters is the acceptance of it all. I am working on my attitude, and it will improve … any day now.

They say that there are only two things in life that are certain: death and taxes. I say there are three: death, taxes and goodbyes. If you’ve figured out a way to live a full life and avoid any of these … be sure to drop me a line, won’t you?

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Trenna - As usual, this was exceptional! You are the greatest! We all miss you. So happy I’ll get to spend some time with you this fall! Love, tk

gary - Tammi Girl,

You know I still miss you and hold a grudge for the guy who took you away! 🙂
As always you are overloaded with common sense, insight, and suttle humor. I love your posts.

Lee Lefton - I’m blown away as always. But that’s never a surprise.

Sam Barth

tammy - Gary, Thanks so much for the support! Common sense, insight and humor (not at all subtle) are all good things. I’m so very happy you’re are following and enjoying.

tammy - Dear Sam, It is YOU, sir, who blow me away. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the post!

tammy - Trenna, no one could ask for a better fan! I’m beyond flattered. And so look forward to seeing you this fall. Good times ahead! Thanks so much for the post.

Cynthia - Your words always leave me with a smile…you are gifted….I miss you.

Evette - Tammy, you are amazing. Somehow you are able to read my heart and put my feelings and thoughts into words. Thanks for another great blog!

Michele - Goodbyes can be difficult. But what we have to understand, is that most things that leaves us are making ways for greater things to come. So yeah break-ups, losing jobs hurt, but that means fantastic things will be coming soon enough!!

kriti - Tammy – wish there was a way to say goodbye to goodbyes … The part of your Dad and cat brought tears to my eyes… Excellent read this was. So glad I came by. Please keep your posts coming. Lotsa love

tammy - Gee, Michele, you are so wise. When I grow up, I want to be like you. Thanks for the post, glad you are following!

tammy - Kriti, what we have here is a mutual admiration society! Thanks for stopping by.

Dede - That was such a super great post!!! I read every word of it and normally I skip around:)

tammy - Dede, I’m delighted you didn’t skip around! Thanks so much for the post. Glad you enjoyed!

Jenny Paulsen - I can say “hello” to my new friend!

tammy - Jenny, Hi Back! Happy to see you here. Hellos are wonderful! Thanks for following!

Debbie Happy Maker - Hi Tammy,
I try not to say goodbye, but when I have to I just keep in mind that when one door closes a better one opens. It softens the blow for me. That is my story. Love your humor by the way.

tammy - Hi Debbie, A positive attitude goes a long way. So does the ability to laugh at yourself. If I can’t have one … I lean towards the other. It appears that you, my dear, have both. So happy to have you following!!

Ronisha - Well, i will be the first to tell you that I’ve never had to say a single goodbye in my life…well maybe except the one to my mother when i was 18 months. The day i saw her again, i was 19 years old telling her goodbye as they lowered her to the grown in her casket…and another time when i had to say goodbye to my brother only to see him years later just to say goodbye again, then all those goodbyes to my past “significant others”…oh and the goodbyes i had to tell my family and friends on my way to afghanistan. Operation Enduring Freddon, my butt. My next goodbye will be to the U.S military. Goodbyeeee to being an active duty member of the armed forces and hellooooo to pursuing my dreams. So yes, I’ve never had to say any goodbyes besides those so I’m dropping you a line. Do I make the cut?

: ) Thanks Tammy. I loved your blog as usual. God Bless

tammy - Hi Ronisha, It seems to me you’ve already had your fair share of goodbye’s. Tough business. Sounds like the next one will be a good one as you follow your dreams. And…THANK YOU, my darling, for your service. You more than made the cut…it’s been MY pleasure.

Mary Alice Brown - Goodbyes can be good, necessary, and best for everyone involved. But, it doesn’t take the sting out of it. My parents just divorced two years ago, after 42 years of marriage, and I have never seen either of them happier. I am a true proponent of marriage … and divorce. 🙂

tammy - Hi Mary Alice, You ARE a smart one, aren’t you? I could not have said it better. I also believe in marriage….and divorce. Thanks for the post!

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