I don’t know if there is a gate in heaven. Truth be told, I’m not all that sold on heaven itself.
I hope that if there is a heaven to look forward to, that it’s not the one I learned about in my Catholic catechism or my Baptist teachings. Because if that were true, then wonderful people like Robin Williams would not be allowed entry. And that is not a God I would choose to believe in.
I am blessed to be able to say that I know pity little about suicide, about what brings one to opt for extinction. I am familiar with the feelings of unbearable sadness, of being left behind and the helplessness that death leaves in its wake. That’s enough.
Is it just me, or does the world seem a little more broken because it lost such a giving light? Maybe it’s because he shared so much of himself with us. He showed us his vulnerability, shared his demons and carried on the best he could, giving us so much laughter along the way. SO much laughter!
I’ve never been a celebrity groupie. So many of them aren’t worth a thought. But the man we lost earlier this week was above the fray. Way above.
Yes, he had wicked talent beyond description. But his generosity of spirit, heart, giving and sharing; those are the things that made him a star in my book. A super star.
Robin Williams gave of himself so much and so often to so many. He didn’t take posed selfies and publish them for publicity. He quietly went about donating his time, money and talent to our Armed Forces, children in need and organizations that were better equipped for having him in their corner. He didn’t want fanfare. He just wanted to do the right thing.
We are told in great detail how he ended his life, far too visual and painful to imagine. This is not how such a noble gift to so many should have left us.
I don’t think I ever want to see what is so horrible that one would try so hard to leave this world to rid themselves of it.
That is what suicide is, I think. Ridding yourself of a horror you can no longer bear the weight of. I can’t imagine it, and my eyes tear up and my heart breaks at the thought of it.
I’ve read a lot on social media today how people who commit suicide are cowards. I have to wonder how they know that. Some would argue that those who choose suicide and give up their most precious asset to be free of the demons that plague them are brave. Whatever you many think, it’s not intellect talking, but rather a judgment that is not ours to make.
My grandfather would always stress to me to never judge anyone unless I walked in their shoes. I live by it to this day. I wish others did the same.
A lot of the things being said about the death of Robin Williams are cruel, ignorant and condemning. As humans we are all weak. Mental illness stays with some and leaves others in peace. Who is to say that one person is less than another because they were unable to hold up to their illness? Not I.
For some reason, among all the celebrities we have lost these past years, this one shocks and hurts like few before him.
Acceptance is one of life’s most important lessons. It can be a bitch.
No matter how you see this tragedy, whether you blame him, his illness, call him weak or strong, the fact is we are all less privileged today than we were a couple of days ago. ALL of us. The world has lost a patron of goodness, laughter, talent, grace, love and giving.
For us it’s a hit of major proportions. For his family, it’s a reckoning of a new life without one of their own to see them through.
Death awaits for all of us. I pray tonight that it doesn’t press you to find it.