There are few things more damaging to any relationship than silence. That’s a fact.
Keeping things in has never been a problem I’ve had to deal with (a blessing and a curse). I wear my heart on my sleeve, my opinion on my lips and my mind generally out in left field. It all works for me.
But it doesn’t work for everyone. I’m not sure why people shy away from confrontation. It really is the most genuine way to resolve issues.
I, for one, welcome a sit down. I’m happy to share my mind’s view and my heart’s sentiments if you care enough to listen. I also welcome the opportunity to hear you out, whatever the issues may be. But I don’t think that anyone appreciates being ignored, talked badly about, or being resented without the opportunity to understand why and perhaps explain themselves. Besides, chances are pretty good that if you have a problem with me, I’d like to hear about it. These things should be easy to work out, right?
Therein lies the rub. It takes two to have an honest, viable relationship. One person willing to listen, talk and work issues out will never make the grade. Timing is everything, but while we wait for the right moment, it may well have already slipped by us.
Why do so many people go to such great lengths to avoid discussing their anger, issues and resentments? The price paid can be the cost of a valuable and loving relationship.
Now, granted, sometimes our liaisons aren’t worth much to begin with, and maybe sending those kinds of relationships sailing into the sunset isn’t a bad thing. Those of us who are “of age” have cleaned our house of useless and negative friendships and relatives along the way. It’s something we do when we realize the need for honest interactions, mutual acceptance and a positive re-enforcement to our life’s struggles along with our need for simple courtesies.
But if we have a friendship or a relation that we love and value, why do we hesitate to take the time and the effort to support that value with love and understanding? I don’t get it; can someone please explain it to me?
Whoever said silence is golden was deaf to reality. Deathbed conversations are filled with apologies and scrambled efforts to communicate everything that has been withheld. If you’ve got something to say, best you say it while it still matters.
My friends know that if you ask for my opinion, you will get nothing but the truth. If you want my support, you will have it. And if I have a problem with you, well, suffice it to say that we will both have the opportunity to talk it over.
Life is all about give and take. I can give it and I can take it. My life is so much easier when this balance works as it should. I sometimes wish I wasn’t the only one sailing on the ship of sharing.
Life is short, love is eternal but resentments, anger and silence can be the death of both.
It kind of makes you wonder why hesitation instead of communication is so often the preferred choice.
If you know something I don’t; I hope you share it with me.