Masthead header

Sh*t happens

Sh*it happens.

Clearly something somewhere has gone terribly awry.

Okay, so I’ve got to share with you that I am one of the nicest people I know. No, really, I am.

I do unto others, I donate a dollar each time I buy pet food at PetSmart, I always let the merging car in, I don’t lie (except about my weight, duh?!) and I answer my phone at 3 a.m. when a friend calls. I’m a saint.

Hello? Is the person who verifies good deeds and kind hearts on vacation? Someone should be accountable for those times when shit hits the fan and sprays on the innocent bystander. I want to speak to that person please.

I’d like to lodge a complaint. If good things happen to good people … I’m waiting. And I’m getting a little pissed off.  

I would like my piece of the pie, a walk in the promised land, a visit to the end of the rainbow, my place in the sun. Fact is, I’d settle for a quiet beach vacation. No men allowed, though. I love them, but I don’t want to have to shave my legs, pluck my eyebrows (or chin hairs), and I don’t want to have to put on make-up. Just me, a book and an unending supply of lemon drop martinis. If the world was a fair place, my travel itinerary would be in my mailbox. But it isn’t.

Instead I’m left to deal with a narcissistic ex-husband, broken promises, road raged drivers, incompetent store clerks, squeaky wheels on shopping carts, perpetual voice-mail, cell phone service that doesn’t work, contractors that refuse to tell time, and computer programs that God couldn’t understand. Quick, pass the chocolate!

I get that God has an interesting way to teach us important life lessons, but enough already! While I surrender to the ‘big picture’, I feel compelled to fight on.

So I have to ask: Can you give up without giving in?  

Where is the fairness, the justice? Will karma kick in and take care of the good people? I’m damn well counting on it.

 Let me think it through.

Here’s what I know for sure; the things that really matter, I have. And I have them in abundance.

The small stuff will be the death of you if you let it.

It’s a lot easier to steer the car forward when you’re not busy looking in the rear view mirror. The past molds us, teaches us and somewhere along the way, will gift us with regrets and resentments. But, it doesn’t need to define us.

Stupid drivers and rude people will always populate the earth. Let us say a silent prayer that they are not related to us.

Perpetual voice-mail will be with us forever and will probably get worse. My advice would be to yell loudly and cuss extravagantly until a live person comes on line. Then, do unto others. Unless you are on hold with the department of motor vehicles, in which case I highly recommend you drink in excess to numb the fact that you will be on the phone for at least three hours.

Surrender is okay when it saves you.

Promises will be broken, even by those whom you have spent a life time loving and trusting. I never saw this one coming and cried myself a river. A heart betrayed is an awful and bitter thing. Best to let it go. Whatever you need to do to make that happen, do it.

Yes, something did go terribly awry and I don’t for a minute think I deserve some of the bad juju that has come my way. I guess that’s okay; because I’m pretty sure I haven’t always deserved all the amazing things that have been sent my way, either.  

I aspire to be saintly, and while I know I am far from it, I still think I’m pretty awesome. I am loving, forgiving, kind and thoughtful. I am a rocking good mom, friend and companion. Maybe I’m closer to saint hood than I thought.

Still, I wouldn’t exactly be heartbroken if someone accidently ran over my ex. Wait … was that my outside voice?

Facebook Share Tweet Post Pin Post +1 Post

Vicki - As always Tammy, you leave me chuckling (or is it chuckeling) and even an occasional snort. I too am a good, no great person and why, dear g-d, why do I come up sometimes feeling short? Well, maybe it cuz I am only 5 feet. No really, I love your blog, I love how you write, how you express yourself – I so identify – you are amazing!!!!

tammy - Vicki, Snorting is good, so is chuckling. I think we all bemoan our situation at one time or another. Life doesn’t always give us what we deserve (thank God). So happy to have you here…following…and inputing. YOU’RE amazing!

Maryjo Morgan - You rock, Tammy! Great post.

I hope tomorrow holds some nice little surprise just for you. 🙂

tammy - Thanks, Maryjo. Oooohh, that would be so wonderful. I won’t hold my breath, but must confess that every day tends to be a blessing. Sometimes it just takes me a while to figure that out. Thanks for your comment, so happy to have you following!

Trenna - Tammy, you are awesome. Not only do I laugh out loud but you also have so much wisdom. Keep these coming! Trenna

Brenda - I have been reading your new posts everytime I see them on Bloggers on DivaCafe. No matter how bad my day has been you always remind me, I am not alone and it’s always better to be a good person… even if sh*t happens! 🙂 Thank you so much for another giggle at the end of a crazy day.

tammy - Hi Trenna, SO happy to be part of your day and bring a little smile to your face. YOU are pretty awesome yourself. Thanks for posting!

tammy - Brenda, Bad days run in cycles. Pooh! I’m happy I can be on the other side of yours. You are definitely not alone! Happy you are here….think it’s time you became an official follower? A toast … to more good days!

Susan Baker - Hey Tammy- So Miss your laughter. Glad I get to still read it !

Jolene - Thank you for the laugh. I going to have read on! I’m sure there is more laughs, snorts & giggles in store for me.

Cynthia - What fun to read while drinking my morning coffee. Thinking of all the sh*t that has happened in my life and all the sweetness that can follow quickly behind. Love to you my friend - You got that right bad things happen but as we say in French ” Apres la pluie le beau temps” (the literal translation would be “After the rain the nice weather”) Like Cynthia put it above sweetness can follow quickly behind! Bad things will happen and it’s a blessing that there are ways to cope or overcome especially when one is blessed with some good friends!

Jenny - So do you too yell at the automated Sears lady on the phone when she keeps asking “what would you like me to help you with” I yell “get me a real person”? Once a voice answered “I am, what would you like me to help you with”. I couldn’t even tell the person what I wanted, I was laughing so hard.

Cindy - Wow, your blog, Tammy, spoke to me this morning…….I too wondered why no one has accidentally run over the ex………..I know we must always look forward, but every once in a while, frustration overwhelms and the tears come……..this morning was one of those times, thanks for making me feel I am not alone…………

Mary Alice - As always, hilarious! Sometimes I wish I could cash in all my good karma “points” that I have accumulated over they years for one big payoff. I have been told that this is not how it works. They are my points after all … I should be able to spend them as I choose. 🙂

tammy - Hi Susie B! So happy to have you here. Love that you “get me”. We are kindred spirits-my sister from another mother! Thanks for the post.

tammy - Hi Jolene, Apparently there is a lot of snorting going on out there. Thank God I’m not the only one! So happy to have you as a member of the girl’s tribe.

tammy - Cynthia, one of my favorite things is having morning coffee with you. Reflection is a hard thing, best we have a sense of humor about it all. Love back to you!

tammy - You are right, good friends are crucial. So is a nice merlot and dark chocolate. Loved your input. So glad you are following.

tammy - Hi Jenny, now THAT’S a funny story! I once asked an operator to please let me talk with someone who speaks the English language, I was so frustrated after waiting over 30 minutes on hold and couldn’t understand her to save my life. She then apologized and explained it was her first day back from having a stroke. Ya. I’m pond scum. Never will I ever say anything like that again!

tammy - Cindy, perhaps we should exchange ex info and hope that they can’t trace tire tread. I understand those days, I’ve had a few lately myself. If only I drank or did drugs, but sugar and potato chips are my vice of choice. We can cry and munch together…what could be more fun than that?

tammy - Mary Alice, I agree, and I’m behind you 100%. By the way….how would you spend those good karma points?? Something to think about.

Lee Lefton - Tam, I sure hope nobody runs over Rob. I haven’t been able to get the money from him that he thinks I want. Anyway, here’s how I’m dealing with what you’ve described. I turned the big 6-0 today and did something I haven’t done in years….I went to Dunkin’ Donuts and had not one, but three of my very favorites. Diabetes be damned!

tammy - Lee, and a VERY happy birthday to you! You don’t look a decade close to 60. LOVE that you went to Dunkin Donuts. Hope the sugar rush doesn’t give you grief. The real question here is: which three did you have?? I gots to know.
ps- if someone does run him over, it will be like an old Columbo feature where the ex wife writes it, and boom, the deed is done. I’m innocent I tell ya!

Ida Block - I love your funny and inspirational advice. All so true and nice to remember!

tammy - Thanks Ida. And thanks for calling me inspirational. It’s so much nicer than the other things I’ve been called. Good to have you here, thank for the post!

Lisa Carter - Thanks for your book Tammy-I just read it. There’s a lot I will take to heart and try to remember. I appreciated the part about sex….I got involved too fast with a man seven months after my separation and right when my divorce was final. It really messed me up again when it was over. I am finding hitting the singles scene and making new single girlfriends really hard. I also have a controlling ex. I know I just have to keep living….keep going forward….your book will help.

tammy - Hi Lisa, happy you enjoyed the book! Just remember that mistakes are our learning ground. Some lessons are harder than others. We end up being our own teachers. Not easy. Without failure we would never realize success. It’s coming. I hugely recommend joing a club of your interest; book club, dog club, bridge club, and what about the Red Hat Society club?! Also you can go to (no it’s NOT a dating site) and join groups and outings for free. It’s hard breaking the “I don’t know anyone” barrier, but you CAN do it. Baby steps. Glad to have you here, and thanks for the post.

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *



CommentLuv badge
F a c e b o o k
T w i t t e r
L i n k e d I n
M o r e   i n f o