Women love it, men dread it and singles hate it. Welcome to Valentine’s Day.
When I was newly married (eons ago), one of my first Valentine’s Day gifts was a Hoover vacuum. Clearly he had missed the meaning of the occasion. Sadly this was not the worst gift I’ve ever received on the day of love. There was the talking magnetic pig head that squealed each time the refrigerator door was opened, twelve pairs of tube socks and a not so lovely tumble weed bouquet. I have often been left with “what the hell was he thinking?” ringing in my head.
VD (I know it’s a rather inappropriate abbreviation for Valentine’s Day but just go with it) has some pretty quirky facts that surround it. I thought it might be fun to share them with you.
The average man spends twice as much as a woman on his Valentine gift, approximately $156. This being said, I have no memory of any man ever spending even half that on me. I am not amused.
Condom sales are the highest around VD and March is the month when the most home-pregnancy tests are sold. Somebody’s doing something wrong.
Teachers receive the most Valentine’s. Next in line are children, moms, wives, sweethearts and then pets. I love that teachers are first in line but do I have to come in next to last just before the cat?
Speaking of our beloved pets, those of us who are owned by our furry friends spend around 9 million bucks a year buying them Valentine goodies. I confess to have contributed to this astronomical number and apologize to no one for rewarding my dog and cats for loving me just as I am. I’m thinking that’s worth a squeaky toy.
Sixty four percent of men make no advance plans for VD day. No big shocker here.
The city of Verona, home of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, receives more than 1,000 Valentines a year addressed to Juliet. The last Valentine I received in the mail was in 1972. I’m not sure how I feel knowing that a fictional character that has been dead for hundreds of years receives a thousand more Valentine’s than I do, but I can share that it’s a bit of a blow to the ego. For those of you who are interested, my P.O. Box is listed on my website. (hey! I’m just offering up the info).
It’s reported that more than a third of men prefer not receiving a VD gift (this is probably because they don’t want to suffer the indignity of having to wear briefs with cupids and hearts on them). And less than 20% of women prefer not to receive gifts. Clearly this is the group of women who have just flatly given up of ever receiving a suitable gift (a group I am probably destined to join).
Probably the most startling fact is that VD is the biggest relationship break up day of the year. I think breakups happen when our expectations don’t meet our realities. I’m not sure which of these needs adjusting.
The bottom line is that love sells. Whether its dreams or diamonds, flowers or fantasies, candy or brandy, it’s sure to soar in price on VD day. Being the consummate business woman, I take offense to the excessive prices tagged on to ordinary dinners, flowers and candy. Money doesn’t buy me VD happiness, but backrubs go a long way.
My best VD day was when I was treated to a professional home massage, a candlelit dinner and a DVD of Wuthering Heights followed by chocolate sundaes. My worst was when I was taken to Burger King and treated to an oil change on my car.
If you have a VD story that is worse, share it; it will help me to feel a little less pathetic. If you have a VD story that is wonderful, share it too, it will give us hope for a brighter tomorrow! If you’d just like to vent about this goofy holiday, nothing would please me more.
As far as I’m concerned If you bring home one of my favorite movies, some Chinese take-out, mood candles, and throw in a foot rub, I will be yours forever; or at least until you buy me a lawn mower for my birthday.