The first thing that comes to mind is the waiting and anticipation of it all. The grand expectations, the splendor, the happy ending and the disappointing outcome. Yup, Christmas has sex written all over it.
Much has been written about Christmas miracles, but if you ask any single woman over 50, you’ll be duly advised that finding a compatible mate is a miracle in itself. Having good sex with that mate, generally involves hope, prayer, and the lighting of a lot of candles.
Christmas, like sex, is a crap shoot.
I’ve often said that if women took as much time choosing their men as they did their Christmas trees, the divorce rate would be a lot lower. Christmas takes a lot of effort and planning. We want it to be right, beautiful, fun, meaningful and memorable. The same is true for sex.
When we were kids, the wonder of Christmas was dutifully generated by our parents. Our job was to believe. We clung to our grand expectations, left cookies and milk for the big guy and hoped and prayed we got what we asked for.
When we are all grown up, the wonder has been replaced by reality. Our job is still to believe despite what past experiences have taught us. We still have our grand expectations, the cookies have been replaced by a nice mellow scotch for the big guy. We still hope and pray we get what we asked for. I’m not sure if we’re talking about Christmas or sex here, but the same would apply to both.
In the end, you have to wait to know if you will receive what you hope you deserve or end up with a disappointing bag of coal.
I love Christmas. People seem a lot happier during the holidays. The outdoor decorations, the Christmas tree, presents, fabulous food and the anticipation of pleasing those you love and being pleased in return.
I also love sex. People seem a lot happier in their relationships when they are participating in flirtatious foreplay. We put our best foot forward, go to fabulous dinners and carry the burning anticipation of pleasing those we love and being pleased in return.
Santa is a bit kinky when you think about it. That crazy red suit, the fur lining, those shiny boots and his voyeurism tendencies. The truth is, I just adore the idea of sitting on a handsome man’s lap and telling him all the things I want from him. I figure any conversation that starts out like that is bound to end up good.
When Christmas day arrives, and all the gifts have been opened, the trash thrown out and you hear a football game blaring in the background, many are left to wonder if that’s all there is.
When sex is over, and the heat of the moment has turned to a cold winter morning and you hear the traffic report blaring in the background, many of us are left hoping that there’s more.
The answer to both is, there’s always more. Isn’t that what makes Christmas (and sex) worth the effort? There’s always another chance for good things to come our way and ways for us to give good things to others.
Age has taught me that the true happiness of Christmas comes from giving to others and spending time with those you love. It has also taught me that in the matter of sex, the same holds true.
I’ve had a bit of fun comparing Christmas and sex, but I’m thinking, if you’re honest, you’ll find the comparisons to be fabulously true.
Whether it’s kinky, quiet, subdued or outrageous, may your Christmas (and sex) be all that you wished for!
Are you listening Santa?