This Fourth of July, I am exercising my freedom. Not from the British, my ex-husband or the band of gypsies that would abscond with my womanhood (you’re way too late).
I’m going for the gold.
I want to claim a life without cat vomit on my desk in the mornings, random dog pee, plants that refuse to live despite all my best efforts, road rage, neighbors that can’t manage their car alarms, appliances that cost a fortune but feel no obligation to do their job, and smart phones that are everything but. I’m SO over it.
I actually found myself yelling at my GPS the other day. It was a full blown rant. “You have one lousy job. One! I’m not at my destination, I’m on the freeway!” Like it could talk back. I have landed in Crazy Ville and I drove there at warp speed.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have all our technology work, if people did what they said they would do, if policies were less important than people and there was no such thing as automated voice mail selections?
I’ll tell you what it would be like. The sky would be a bright blue, birds would be singing, neighbors would smile and wish you good morning as they pass by, doors would be held open and I’m certain that Andy of Mayberry would invite you to a home cooked meal by Aunt Bea.
Life is hard enough, people. We shouldn’t have to go about our day trying to recover from those things that didn’t work, people that didn’t show, bullshit that shouldn’t have happened, and promises that were never kept.
Incompetence and disrespect is running amok, global weather systems are as pissed off as I am, and anything that can go wrong does so with remarkable frequency, and you can’t turn on the news without needing a stiff scotch to get through the night. If there is a God of Smooth Going, I’d like to speak to her.
I am not in charge of the world. If I were, it would be a better place (spoken with suitable humbleness). We are all in this together.
I’m giving up trying to find reason in a world that seems devoid of it. With all this technology you would think life would get easier, not more complicated.
This year I will be celebrating Independence Day by hitting the wine country with my trusty dog and man (not necessarily in that order). I am going to spend a couple of lovely days soused to the hilt with the finest wines California has to offer. I figure it’s pretty hard to screw up pouring a glass of Pinot Noir!
If something does go wrong, it’s unlikely I will give a damn.
Happy July 4th, everyone!
ps- I’m hoping to return a normal person with abounding patience, understanding and a calm resolve of “it is what it is”. In the name of humanity … it shall be so!