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This Is a Rant. It’s Probably Going To Get Ugly.

I consider myself to be a healthy person. I walk 3 miles a day thanks to my trusty dog. I go up and down the stairs so many times a day, you should be able to bounce a quarter off my ass. I said you should be able to. But you can’t. I take vitamins, […]

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Ginger Kadlec - I feel your pain, sista! It’s tough gettin’ “old”… but it’s sure better than the alternative.

My solution (although, it doesn’t really ‘solve’ the core issue, but does offer some short-term relief)? I sleep with a heating pad, enjoy a little wine in the evening and take an occasional Alleve (like this morning… ugh). Hang in there and thanks for the smile today — know that you are not alone!!!


Frankie K. - Don’t you wish you could be just like Lindsey Wagner-the Bionic Woman? Didn’t she have bionic eyes?

I was already nearsighted at age 10 and just started using readers. It helps to have a teenage son around who can read the print on the mac and cheese box. Yes getting old has it’s challenges, but I do feel more confident in who I am and having dear friends and family near-guess that’s the trade off.

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Sounds like it’s time to smoke a little MJ for all your aches and pains… sorry, I just had to say it!

Tana Bevan - Kudos! Takes talent to rant with finesse (and that you did). I hear you about the body breakdown. Ours was the generation that was never to age. Ours was the generation that was to be “forever young.” Apparently the higher ups didn’t get the memo. (Or if they did, it was ignored.)

PS: Love the pic.

Lee Lefton - Answers? You want answers? I will give you the answer that I have heard from many of my contemporaries. It will sound very Zen. Or very cliche. Ready?

It is what it is.

Doesn’t alter the fact that at our ages, things are breaking down. And as the great actor, Peter Finch, said in the movie “Network,”


But what choice do we have? Just keep moving forward every day. I think you’re doing great. Which as you pretty much sum up toward the end of your rant.


Joan Cooper - So you want an answer – here is my three cents worth:

It is all in the Genes. I never heard that people living to be 90 or more did the right diet, exercise etc. They have the right Genes.

I do not understand why people who are going to marry and have children do not have their genetic maps studied. It should be a routine thing to do. There are strong genes and weak genes – people who are going to bring life to this world should be concerned about what they are creating. Why is it so haphazard? This is creation we are talking about – not romance.

It is all in the GENES, Tammy.



Carole Schultz - Wow…it could have been me writing this…spooky. As I was reading, I was saying yes, yes, oh yes. So I, too, wait with breath baited for some answers…(just taken the (celebrex)

Tammy - Hi Ginger, it sounds as though you’ve got it down with how to handle this nonsense. Good to know I’m not alone. I’m not minding aging one bit EXCEPT for the body breakdown part. I’m not going into the dark night very peacefully. *whimper* So appreciate the positive pep talk. SO appreciate it … and you.

Tammy - Hi Frankie, at this point I would absolutely take bionic anything. My mind tells me to do it, but my back, neck, legs and now eyes, tell me that I better think again. *deep sigh* I agree with you, the wisdom and friendships we have made along the way, make up for everything. Well, almost everything. Clearly I need a better attitude. Any day now! Appreciate the read and the kind words!

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, you are so funny. And … you may be so right. After all, I do live in California. And I do remember a time in one of illnesses that the doc prescribed it (when it wasn’t legal) to help my nausea. It did the trick. Something to think about! Thanks for being here!

Tammy - Hi Tana, yeah, I’m still waiting for the age of Aquarius. The dawning has hit, and it’s not pretty. Aging is one thing. Falling apart is quite something else. I am thrilled to be here, in my sixties and still optimistic about the future. I’d just like to be able to see the damn thing when it gets here. Yeah, I know … bad attitude. I’m working on it. Appreciate your kind words and your sharing … tons! Thanks for that.

Tammy - Hi you know who, that’s it? That’s all I get? “It is what it is”? *big forlorn sigh* I know we have no choice. And believe me, I love that I’m growing older. I do! But does everything have to fall apart before I even get to the third act of my life? Seriously? I’d like to be able to walk the last mile and see where the hell I’m going. All right, I’ll stop bitching now (shock). You’re right, of course, we need to just keep moving forward. Every day. I’m right there with you, my friend. Always. xo

Tammy - Hi Joan, you’ve said a mouthful there. I was graced with the good skin of my father’s side of the family and the apple cheeks of my mom’s. Genes! I too have known many people who have aged wells despite the fact that they eat bacon everyday, drink like a fish and have smoked for years. Go figure. So, does it really come down to the luck of the gene pool draw. Evidently. Thanks for sharing. Always love hearing from you!

Tammy - Hi Carole, we are sisters from another mother! Perhaps we should be looking into commune living as we get older. We could all share drugs, advice and help one another with our walkers. Now that’s a thought that should scare us both to death! Lovely to hear from you, my friend!

Joan Cooper - That’s right, Tammy. To put it bluntly – we breed animals with more care than we breed humans.


Ellen Dolgen - I am in the same boat with the glasses, my dear. I am not sure where you are in your perimenopause and menopause journey, but I would definitely be talking to your menopause specialist about your body aches and numbness. Estrogen therapy can decrease joint pain after menopause, according to a new study published in Menopause.

Kitt Crescendo - Geez! Now I’m sitting here thinking about my eyes. I turned 40 a couple months ago. I’ve never needed glasses for things close up, but found myself blinking shortly after my birthday while reading my iPad. Fortunately I realized it wasn’t because I now needed bifocals or readers, but rather because the brightness was a tad too bright on my device. Still, getting older is definitely not for the faint of heart.

Tammy - Hi Kit, my advice to you is to NOT worry about any of this stuff. It’s coming your way by hook or by crook, so what the hell?! Just deal with it when it drops at your doorstep. I discovered I needed reading glasses when I couldn’t read the menu at a restaurant. Yup, it was really that quick. Bam! No warning. No subtleties. Age is a wicked mistress. And when I meet her, I will thank her for the privilege then rip her a new one for all the insanity that came along for the ride. You’ve got a ways to go, my darling. We’ll all be waiting for you in the back 40!

Tammy - Oh, Ellen, you’re beautiful AND smart. I have no idea where the hell I’m at. There are menopause specialists?? Really? Do I look them up under that title? My PCP put me on an HRT patch. Without it I have been known to be a headachy, sweaty, raging bitch. I know … hard to believe. I will check out the links asap. I feel smarter already! I’ve never paid too much mind to the reading glasses. But everyday glasses? WTH?! I’m not ready for that. But, that’s what life does…throws us curve balls when we’re NOT ready. Catching them is the hard part. Thanks awfully for the read and the comment!

Mel G - Dear Tammy,
The only thing you CAN do is accept the fact that your body is not a finely-tuned machine that will last 100 years (See poem “The Deacon’s One-Horse Shay”. Anything you can use to stem the tide is only a stop gap measure. This is not meant to sound depressing, but practical. Use what you do have and be grateful for that.
Case in point: eyes. I was the only baby born with glasses so I could find my way out. I used to wear coke bottles. I’ve had cataracts and now have macro degeneration, (but it’s holding.) I am grateful, grateful, grateful for all that I can see.
Consider yourself most fortunate. Beat back the advancing aches by continuing to do fun things.

Tammy - Oh, Mel, now I feel totally and utterly ridiculous. You are right, of course. Again. Things could always be worse. I was born cross eyed. 2 surgeries, coke bottle glasses and prism to follow eventually straightened them out. As a result of the surgeries, I have no depth perception. Tricky at times. I fall a lot. You’d think I’d get graceful at it. I haven’t. It all seems to be happening way to quickly. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I riding my bike to the grocery store for a bag of groceries (totaling 12 bucks). It only seems that way. Thanks for your wisdom, wit and patience!

Ellen Dolgen - Yes, there are menopause specialists! Check out my Menopause Doctor Directory to see if the sisterhood has recommended a doctor in your area. If not here are some good tips on how to find a doctor and hormone happiness!
My Motto is: Reaching out is In! Suffering in silence is OUT! Go get the help you need an deserve! Be sure to keep me posted…. I am here if you have any questions! Just email me!

Tammy - Thanks Ellen. You are awesome. Will definitely look deeply into this. Deeply. Assuming I can read the screen 🙂

Sandra Sallin - You are hysterical. I will not take you seriously because you know what? You’re still alive and kicking! Kicking high I might add. So just get on with it and be grateful that you can.

PS. I do know what planta faciitus is. Trust me.

Doreen McGettigan - Omgoodness it is awful. My knee was hurting so bad the other day and the doc says nothing is wrong. I swear they make me feel like I imagine pain.
I am in on the wheat and dairy. I have no idea why it’s happening but ever since I had my gal bladder out 2 years ago I gained 30 pounds in my middle and have issues with wheat. I’m slowly eliminating gluten.

Tammy - Hi Sandra, Isn’t that Planter stuff the WORST?! Yowza! Having a tennis ball near my desk helped me through it. Yup, I will just get on with it, but clearly not without some substantial whining (it helps!). I’m actually going to follow Ellen’s lead and find a menopausal expert (who knew?). Wish me luck! So happy to have you here, Sandra! Thanks for that.

Tammy - Hi Doreen, I am becoming a little thicker in the middle too. I think it’s genetics. I remember my grandmother packed it on there. NOT awesome. Weight, wheat, sugar, coffee, gluten, dairy, …. so many things to be concerned with. It’s all SO exhausting. And by the way, you are NOT imagining pain. That’s crazy talk. If you feel it, it’s there. Thanks for the read, Doreen, AND the comment!

A Pleasant House - Denial- and Motrin.

Maritza - I usually read your articles (which are by the way fantastic) and never leave a comment probably because you cover it so well I feel I really can’t add nothing to it. However, this time around I could only say that aging sucks. There is nothing we could do, but accept it in our lives with grace and humor. There is no other way!

Tammy - Thanks, Cheryl. I’m an expert at one and a big fan of the other!

Tammy - Maritza, I’ve got the humor part down pat. The “grace” part I work on every day. So very happy to have you in my corner!

google adwords editor - Right now it sounds like WordPress is the top blogging platform out there right now.

(from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

Tammy - YES it is, and I do love the way it works!

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time a comment is added I get several emails with the
same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
Many thanks!

Tammy - Hopefully, it’s done! That can get a bit annoying. Let me know if its still happening. I’ll go back to the drawing board to get you out of comment hell. Thanks!

Bella - I read this paragraph fully on the topic of the comparison of latest and
preceding technologies, it’s awesome article.

clash of clans hack download free - Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your blog.
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Want To Know The Secret To A Happy Life? Here You Go …

My first guess would have been along the lines of a size 8 figure, a home that is paid for, a million bucks in the bank,  good friends, frequent trips abroad, and healthy prospering children. Right? Wrong. My second guess would have been timing. Whether you’re leaving a job, a husband, or a dinner party, knowing […]

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Suerae Stein - Great post, Tammy! I wonder… does the study mention that is has to be romantic love? Can it be love of friends and family? Just curious as I know people who have never found that one special partner, but are surrounded by loved ones just the same.

Tammy - Suerae, the study is huge! It references a sharing, companionship love. It can exist between people and pets, friends, etc. Love is love. The romantic kind of love is pronounced, but where ever love is shared, exchanged, given or taken….there is happiness to be found. *whew*! So happy to hear from you!!

Mel Glenn - Can’t argue with even one word of this. The Beatles had it right. Unconditional love is the devoutly to be wished, but I wonder what are the statistics on that?
An eternal truth that bears repeating and repeating.

Tammy - Hi Mel, great question! How would one go about configuring the stats on unconditional love? Geesh, my head hurts just thinking about it. Agree, eternal truths absolutely need repeating. And repeating. Love, love having you here. Never did find you on my :(. I will keep trying!

Joan Cooper - Well, Tammy, I rarely disagree with you but l-o-v-e is just a four letter word. Why? Because it means something different to everyone. Not a constant. I like words like

I think there is more commitment in these words. Love you is so easy to say and so hard to pin down.

How about good health? You really do need that for happiness. I won’t mention money – so many rich people are not happy, although I do not think it is the money’s fault.

l-o-v-e is misused and overused. Oh yes, and what about ‘you’re wonderful’. Someone said that to me recently and I felt 40 feet high and floating.

Your expressiveness is beyond reproach and a great gift. Look forward to the next WW.

Luv (oops), Joan

Tammy - Hi Joan, I am always happy to agree to disagree. Love is not a word I use cavalierly. It is not overused in my world. But I understand where you are coming from. Words like “caring”, “cherish”, “sympatico” carry less weight to me. BUT, that’s to me. Whatever word you choose to describe the emotion and connection does not change the outcome of the study. Love, in any language or definition, is still love. And while it may be difficult to pin down, the commitment that comes with it, isn’t. It’s either there, or it’s not. And yes, I luv you too!!! As always, Joan, thanks for being here!

Carol Cassara - I’m in the camp that believes love can be many things, including maternal … so however it shows up, I think it IS the key!

Tammy - Hi Carol, we are in the same camp! Love manifests love which manifest happiness. Did we really need a 75 year study to tell us that? Evidently. So happy you popped in for the read. Thanks for that!

Karen - This strikes me as right, Tammy.

For me, being loved is less important than loving–I like myself better, I feel happier, I am at peace with myself when I love. Receiving it is great too, not talking that down at all, but I feel like if it’s not reciprocal, the meaning can get lost.

Ande Lyons - LOVE LOVE LOVE this post Goddess Tammy!

Since worthiness is the #1 challenge for unhappiness, it makes sense that LOVE… especially SELF LOVE… is the real key to happiness! Even for male Harvard Grads! (I thought just being a Harvard grad = unlimited happiness! ;-D )

Yes – LOVE is a huge umbrella with many splendid facets. Love for a Beloved is delicious; Love for a child is glorious; Love for one’s work/calling is divine; Love of life is magnificent.

Thanks for sharing the LOVE!!


Tammy - Hi Ande! You, my darling are clearly the goddess of love! And I love you for that (giggle)! Have you ever noticed that when you love who you’re with, what you do, where you are … that it always comes back to you? Still, I would have thought that the secret to happiness would somehow along the way have involved cold hard cash. Obviously I’m a lot more jaded than I thought. Thank you. For you. Really!

Jessica Bern - Thank you for this. I cannot being to tell you how much I agree. I am divorced and that lack of love, nearly got the best of me many times.

Kitt Crescendo - It always saddens me a little bit when I run into people who don’t realize or choose not to recognize that people are more important than things.

I think my favorite sentence in your whole post was “Love found me despite myself.” How true is that? I’ve come to the conclusion that we are master self saboteurs, and most of the time it’s completely unintentional.

It seems we are great at stepping in it and can’t seem to get out of our own way. I firmly believe it’s because of this little problem that some of the best relationships are the ones you don’t seek out, but find you.

Tammy - Hi Jessica, I hear you, I feel you, I was you. For years. Tough business going about the day to day feeling disconnected from all that love offers. Nothing is forever, right?! Happy that you appreciated the read, but happier still that you are here! Thanks for that.

Tammy - Kit, okay, you are being all wise and stuff and I love it. Yup, love did find me despite myself. I was not looking, not wanting, not expecting and certainly not willing to give up anything for it. Fortunately for me, the wonderful man who came my way was a lot more patient than I would have been. Blessings come at the strangest times. Once I got out of my own way, opened my heart, it all fell into place. I am grateful. Every. Single. Day. Have I told you lately that its awesome knowing you’re on the other side of my blog? Yeah, cuz it is!

Tammy - Hi Karen, I totally understand! I think it’s a woman thing. We are caregivers. It’s what makes our hearts sing. Purpose. Yes, I SO agree, if it’s not reciprocal, well that’s the saddest thing of all. Here’s hoping your heart sings from here to eternity with love. Lots of it!

Dear Katie Couric, How Could Things Have Gone So Wrong Between Us?

There I was, walking the Grand Canyon, minding my own business when your producers called and asked if I would be on your show. I was so flattered and excited at the prospect. Of course, I made room in my jam packed schedule (who could say no to Katie Couric?), and left for NYC two […]

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Lee Lefton - Hey, sounds like you turned lemons into lemonade. Why does that not surprise me? What is it they say…when one door closes…well, you know. The next call could be from Oprah. Love you.

mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
An honest, humorous and practical guide on what to do if called to national TV. I am sure you were disappointed, and they owe you big time. Did you send a copy of this letter directly to Katie? I hope you did. They didn’t treat you nicely,and it
cost you money, but at least you got a good column out of it.

Joan Cooper - you are too kind. Such an inconvenience. There really should have been and should be more explanation that has been given. Also, you should be generously paid for your time and inconvenience !!! Was there any kind of agreement when you signed on. Business is business.


Holly Higbee-Jansen - I don’t know whether to say bummer or congratulations or both. It’s a great story and hopefully you’ll get another shot at it!

Tammy - Hi Lee, Haaa, wouldn’t it be nice to receive a call from Oprah? One can dream. You know that I try not to leave any stone unturned. This time out, I turned over the rock and nothing was there. I get points for trying. So great to hear from you. Hope your travels were marvelous!!

Tammy - Hi Mel, now that’s a thought….I should send this blog post to her producers and tweet it to the show. You, sir, are nothing short of brilliant. I took a shot, and missed. At least I held up my end of the bargain. In my book, that counts for a lot!

Tammy - Hi Joan, I have a feeling that networks don’t generously pay for much. It was enough for me to have my transport taken care of and my lodging…although that didn’t work out too well. It would have been a marvelous opportunity for me, and I truly regret not having it. But, that’s show biz, as they say. I did my best and all that was asked of me. I get kudos for that. So appreciate you!

Tammy - Hi Holly, I’m going to go with the bummer declaration. It’s wonderful being asked to the dance but its better if someone actually asks you to the dance floor. Didn’t happen. No fault of my own, but it still stings a wee bit. It’s all good, I gave it my best shot and have been told they will likely call me back. Here’s hoping. Lovely to have you on the other side of my blog. Thanks for that!

Carmen Kane - Dear Tammy,

I suspect Ms. Couric, may not be aware of the travel arrangements. I don’t see her as an uncaring person. My hope is that I am not proven wrong.

That being said, Ms. Couric or her producer should take a second look at who is authorized to make such poor decisions and arrangements. You were a guest!!!!! Unfortunately you were not treated as such.

This reflects poorly on Ms. Couric,the quality of her show and perhaps prospective guests.

One last thought …. would any member of Ms. Couric’s show stay at this hotel?

Tammy - Hi Carmen, I suspect you are right in your assumption that Katie knows little about the hotel that hosts her guests. Well, some of her guests. I can guarantee you that the celebrities on her show are not directed to this establishment. That being said, she is a smart cookie. One would think that she would care enough to inquire, perhaps even send a staff member to visit the place as a guest. It absolutely reflects badly on her network and with her name stamped on the show, it reflects badly on her as well. In answer to your question if any member of Ms. Couric’s family or staff would stay at this hotel…I think we can safely assume that the answer would be a resounding NO! If they did, it their room would have a door that closes, pillows on the bed, a shower head that doesn’t break off in your hands, light in the room and last but not least….an air conditioner that would turn off. Bam!

Dana Silecchio - Tammy, I got to hear from you at CSUN last week after the trip and you were still nursing that cold. I agree with Mel, send a copy of your blog. They were inviting you to the show in the first place because of your writing. So write away. You have nothing to lose and they need to know. Good luck. I hope opportunity strikes again, and I am sure it will!

Tammy - Hi Dana, thanks for the kind support. Lightening rarely strikes twice in the same place, but that’s not to say that it can’t come from somewhere else, right?! Yup, I will be sharing the post Monday with the folks at the Katie Show as well as ABC. Who knows it anyone really reads it, but why not put it out there. Can you believe I still have that goofy cough? So happy you attended the blogging seminar. Hope you enjoyed it and had good takeaway from it. Thanks for being here….love you for that!

Lisha @ The Lucky Mom - Wow. You’re a good sport.

Tammy - Hi Lisa, probably less a good sport and more of a “don’t burn any bridges” kind of thing. Not at all happy about how it turned out. Duh! But between you and me, and ‘thank you for coming’ would have gone down nicely. Just saying. Thanks for the read, appreciate that!

Lisa Flowers - A great article about opportunities. I have a feeling you’ll be called back…can’t they see what a great job you’ve done with just this fantastic post?!?! 🙂

Tammy - Hi Lisa, I’ve been told that the segment will not likely be revisited. Drat!! Thanks for your optimism and kind review. I’m sending it to them to read. *Gulp* Wish me luck!

Charity Kountz - Here’s a less snarky report from a more reliable source

Carol Cassara - Katie & her show should be embarrassed that they put you up in such a hellhole–without internet even. She’s worth a bundle–at the very least they should’ve given you a nice hotel room and replaced your laptop. That’s chump change to her personally & she should’ve stepped in.But then, celebrities live in a rarified world and “real life” doesn’t intrude that often. I’ve never been all the impressed with her and don’t watch her show unless I hit on something channel surfing.

Tammy - Hi Charity, Yikes, I had no idea. I think its more of a network thing than it is a Katie thing, don’t you? The View is lacking these days. If not for Barbara and Whoopi, it wouldn’t be here. I’m not at all sure Katie would fit into that. But….what do I know?!

Tammy - Carol, I have a sneaky suspicion that Katie Couric is clueless when it comes to the details. She is not the boss of it, ABC is. And, you’re absolutely right … it’s chump change to ABC. Shame on them. I must confess, that while I’ve admired her past work, I haven’t caught her current show more than a few times. I realize that national exposure is a big carrot to dangle, and much is given for the privilege of the chance, BUT, it is people like me (and you) who offer valuable content. Without that content…there would be no show. Simply said. Thanks, Carol, so appreciated your input!

Maureen - I know the next door-knock will be an even better opportunity! Katie missed out – she would’ve so loved talking with you! 😀

Tammy - Thanks, Maureen, sweet of your to remind me that opportunity always brings with it adventure and growth. I love both of those things! Thanks so much for being here. Appreciate you!

Sue - So proud to know of you and that you were invited and almost got there. Next time will be bigger and better. I do agree that they should have said “Sorry” You are their Big Fish that got away.

Valerie - Tammy, I’m so sorry this happened and I’m glad you have a sense of humor about it it. Although I’m not at the nationally syndicated level, I work in local news in a top 10 market. We cancel things all the time depending on breaking news and a variety of factors but really try to avoid that if someone has flown in (often on their brand’s money) If you want them to rebook you, I would remind them two or three times and if there is a producer you are chummy with, try to figure out what happened. If not, the things you learned are excellent examples of what to plan for with the next opportunity. I agree Katie is way above the decision making level about your hotel and possibly even the killing of the segment… I hate that this happens but it doesn happen a lot 🙂

Tammy - Hi Valerie, thanks so much for your words of support. I totally agree with you on all counts. The thing about this was, that two show tapings for the day were completely cancelled. Not just my segment, but 2 complete shows. So, I have to assume that something not so wonderful happened. It’s not my business, and I do have a lot of sympathy. I understand the cost of shutting down tapings for two nationally syndicated shows. Ouch! On a personal and somewhat selfish level, I was truly disappointed. As the French say, what will be, will be. I’m quite sure that Katie herself is and was completely out of the loop regarding details that involved her guests. At the end of the day, while some refer to her as “the talent” (undisputable) she is, after all, an employee of the network. I love that you stepped forward with your words of wisdom and comfort. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Hi Sue, thanks, I’m still ever so happy to have been considered. And I totally agree that a gracious “we’re sorry about hauling you across the US and keeping you here for a couple of days” would have be nice to hear. I think they are so busy, and those of us who were to be featured are already yesterdays almost news. I’ve been called a lot of things…but I think I like your “Big Fish” the best of all. Next time…bigger and better? From your mouth, to Gods ears! Thanks for being here.

Judith Eton - So happy to have found you through Sandra, can’t wait to read all of your stuff!

Ida Block - All I can say is that you are a very good sport Tammy. You certainly look at the cup as half full. I would be furious! I hope Katie and her staff read your post and will rise to the occasion and give you a golden opportunity to come back in a style fit for a queen. It would only be fitting and proper.

Best of luck
Loved your post!


Walker Thornton - The ups and downs of fame! Sorry it went so bad…but enjoying reading all about it!

Valerie - omg now I’m soo curious about why they would do that, very unusual! Not my business either but I’m dying to know! lol. There’s no reason to cancel an entire show unless Katie was sick or there was a death in the family or something, and even WEIRDER that they didn’t reschedule you. The show is doing well in the ratings so it’s not like it is shutting down or somethin. Very interesting, hope they call you back. And so sorry about the Fleabag! At least you didn’t get bedbugs 🙂

Valerie - Wow was I wrong, its apparently tanking. Does this article coincide with your bad experience?

Tammy - Judith, SO happy to have been found! I hope you enjoy and engage. Welcome….and hugs!

Tammy - So happy to see you here, Ida. Even happier that you enjoyed the read. I was a good sport, wishing not to cause problems or worries for my host. But as I look back, no one should really have to contend with that kind of stuff. I will send this off to them on Monday, but will not hold my breathe for a response of any kind. I love your idea, being treated like a queen would suit me just fine!

Tammy - Hi Walker, no worries, I’m over all of it except the goofy cough. I am grateful for the opportunity …. still. So very glad you enjoyed the read. Thanks for being here.

Tammy - Valerie, Eeeeek, I didn’t even think of bedbugs. The horror! Am feeling luckier by the minute. I’ve been told that they do not have any intention at this time to revisit that particular segment on any upcoming show (sad face). *le sigh* Katie taped the following days show, so I am assuming her health was good. As always, I look for the silver linings. Still looking.

Tammy - Valerie, wow, I had no idea. My appearance on the show was to have been over two weeks ago. The day the Federal government shut down, to be precise. So, it appears we are in sync. Too bad, I hope she gets a second chance. A lot of people’s jobs depend on it. But according to the article, and the one shared by Charity in this feed, the future doesn’t look bright for the Katie Show.

Irene S. Levine - Great post!

Tammy - Thanks, Irene, thanks for stopping by to say so! Appreciate that.

Annah Elizabeth - “I ended up eating Fritos in bed.” That is the BEST part of the entire story!! I might have eaten a half gallon of Fudge Royal… 😉

We never do know what we might find when opportunity knocks, do we? But hooray for you for finding humor in this one that didn’t go quite like you expected it to!

Here’s to ABCs second knock on your door!! for surely they will…

Tammy - Annah, so happy to have you here, and so happy you enjoyed the read. Fritos seemed more like a breakfast food than my favorite chocolate brownie ice cream. Since it was a wee bit after 8 a.m., I made the judgment call that soothed my nerves and calmed my disappointment. A tall order for a bag of Fritos, but damn if it didn’t do it’s job. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! Happy to be connected!

cheryl - Absolutely loved your post———-impressed that you were able to bite your tongue and remain “sanguine” about the whole experience——-not really who you are. I would have “gone off” about the room (Bob would have had to choke me to calm me). I can endure “things happening to change plans” BUT I HATE crappy rooms where I wonder about the linens, the cleanliness and lack of maintenance. I WOULD HAVE MOVED ALSO!!!!!!!!!!! by the way, where was this room so I am sure never to go there and able to warn my frineds———–would love to see you on FOX——maybe “Fox and Friends”

Tammy - Cheryl, I know, totally out of character, right? I held my tongue because I was a guest and it was to have been an in and out kind of deal. A Monday night check-in, taping Tuesday afternoon and fly back home Tuesday night. I wouldn’t have even stayed had we not been traveling for hours, arrived around 11 p.m. and I had to get up early to shower and prepare for the 12:30 call. It didn’t quite turn out that way. I ended up paying for a room for an evening while waiting to see if the taping could be fit in to the next days schedule. Not cheap, by the way. By the way, I would highly recommend that you avoid visiting The Empire Hotel in NYC (ahem). I was willing to put up with a few not awesome things for the opportunity. Things happen, I totally get that. But taking care of the people you bring to town to showcase your show wouldn’t be a bad idea, don’t you think? So happy to hear from you!!

Patricia - I hope that you shared this with the producers of the show. I mean “come on.” YOu did a diplomatic post that tells your truth and at the same time lets them know they handled you poorly. After all bringing you in was to their benefit. You did not get paid nor did you get any exposure for your site. Me thinks they can do better.

Tammy - Hi Patricia, me thinks you are right. But I’m not holding my breath. Will tweet and hashtag the show and Katie. Also email an link to them. Not expecting any payback, but an invite back would be mighty nice. Word on the street is the show is fighting for its life. I hope it wins. Thanks for your two cents. It was worth much more!

Tana Bevan - Tammy–
It was just a few months ago (right before our first meeting I believe), you were trying to get your computer to do what you wanted as you figured out Windows 8. And now you have another.

Quite an adventure my friend, of the transcontinental proportion!

You’ve a marvelous fan base. With all your fans sending stellar thoughts to the cosmos, you continuing to do wonderful things to warrant those thoughts, and you continuing to be the wonderful person you are as you do what you do, I’d say it’s only a matter of time before you go national!

I’m rootin’ for you friend! Woo-hoo!!!!!!

PS: BTW there may be a glitch in the system somewhere, I got kicked off your subscription list. I’ve resubscribed.

Tammy - Tana, Yes, the hits and changes just keep on coming. Ugh. I do so appreciate my “fan” base, but more so because they are just like me. We are all just trying to get by, be happy and live a good life. This is the part where I tell you how very much I appreciate your encouragement…bar none! I HATE hearing that I have a glitch in my Feedburner. Hate it! So sorry you were dismissed. I received no notice of it and it leaves me wondering who else was lost in the mix. Technology can bite me! So happy you jumped back on board. Love your doodles at Love them!

Sexy is as sexy does!

I’m a 60 year old woman who still considers herself a sexy beast. Well, maybe not a beast. A kitten. A sexy kitten. Okay, maybe not a kitten. A sexy gerbil. That’s it … a sexy gerbil! The operative word here is sexy. I was married for 27 years, and single for the last 10. […]

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Evette - Right on, Tammy!

Joan Cooper - You are an endless font of amusement over everything we come up against in Life.

About the men in my life? I don’t know. There is just something inside that says yes or no.

Your sum up is right on – every woman wants a man who will climb the glass mountain for her.


Tammy - Thanks Evette! Good to hear from you, great to know you are still out there…thanks for that.

Tammy - Hi Joan, every woman wants a man who is wanting to listen and make her happy. If that’s a glass mountain (and I’m sure there are times it feels like one), then, yes, it’s what we want. But I’m also willing to climb it as well. Sexuality comes from want. A want that is deep down inside. My greatest sexual organ is my brain, second to my heart. Tap those and you’re in. We are not so complicated after all, are we?

Joan Cooper - Ooooooooooh that’s my problem – I put the heart before the brain.

Thanks Tammy, – I will try brain first.


Tana Bevan - While it’s a joy when good things happen to good people, it’s magical when loving people are appreciated and loved back.

The love you have for your man comes through in your posts–even when discussing his less than desired traits. All the more because as a reader I get the sense you love your man totally and completely. The good, bad, ugly, and everything in-between. IMHO, that is what makes your love all the richer, it incorporates all the nuances of emotion.

Revel in your love my friend!

Beverly Diehl - Sounds like you hit the jackpot, Tammy.

I’ve heard of some… interesting “matches” on eHarmony, like one friend whose only connection with man it matched her with was they both named coffee as a favorite beverage. She was done raising kids and stated specifically that she was NOT interested in having or raising more. He was a single dad with custody of three small children. Alrighty then.

The fact that he LISTENED to you, instead of trying to mold you into something else, is the sign of a VERY good man – and one who would make any woman feel sexy.

Gloria Richard Author - There is hope for a multi-decades married woman chained to a relationship where hopes, dreams, attitudes, and beliefs are pole opposites.

Rhetorical comment?

I’m practicing my lock-picking skills.

Tammy - Hi Tana, revel I do. Every day. That is insight I’m glad to have. Thanks for sharing that. We can never see ourselves as others perceive us, even through our writing (especially through our writing). Good to know that what I truly think and feel comes through to the page. I’m an “all or nothing” kind of girl. Always have been. I don’t know any other way. And love him I do. Endlessly. Thank you, sweet Tana, for the kind and gentle observation!

Tammy - Hi Beverly, I’ve heard a lot of stories about e-Harmony much in the same vein. Yikes. Yes, I am a lucky girl. Rare is the man that actually listens and responds to try and solve, please or appease the situation. SO very happy to have you here! Really!

Tammy - Hi Gloria, Eeeek. I know what it’s like having polar ambitions, hopes and beliefs. I’m pulling for you. It’s a tough haul. So many times worth the effort. Other times, not so much. The real dilemma is in trying to figure out which is which. As we learn when we get older, love does not conquer all. Keep those lock-picking skills polished…and hope you never need them. Awesome having you here!

Ande Lyons - Another DELICIOUS post on dating, sex, finding true love while living as a Modern Midlife Gal – thanks Tammy!

You highlighted the most important tip for women: men are wired to make us happy… really! Your darling man wanted to know what made you happy, what made your heart sing, then he went seeking ways to do just that. If more women understood this fundamental need in men… along with accepting the fact that men are not hairy women… we would be ruling the world! LOL!

When I met my true love 28 years ago… it was lust at first sight. Yes, there’s plenty of affection, appreciation, passion, tenderness, laughter and loyalty happening today… and there’s also that initial lusty “take me now, this is what dreams are made of.” Not because we’re lucky. Because, like happiness, we cultivate our passionate, lusty feelings. 😀

Congratulations on connecting with the best man for you – I am so happy for both of you! SNIFF – I just love Happy Endings!

LOVE YOU Goddess Tammy!


August McLaughlin - Whoops! Please disregard/delete my last comment. Let me rephrase… 🙂

I’m so glad Ande Lyons sent me here via my blog party. You radiate her same beautiful energy, and I couldn’t agree more! Sexiness goes on and on if we allow it to. Thank you for being a very worthy and necessary example.

A Pleasant House - So true. Sexy changes with maturity. For me it’s Humor- I love me a funny man.

Kitt Crescendo - Hi Tammy! I am not sure what happened, but this particular post didn’t find it’s way into my email as it usually does. Thankfully, I caught it on LinkedIn, and Ande shared it at our friend August McLaughlin’s blog party.

Your opening paragraph slayed me…of course it may partially have to do with my occasionally immature humor. I saw gerbils & sexy and my brain went for the Richard Gere scandal/rumors. 😉

Having said that, I couldn’t agree more about what makes a person sexy. These days, physical appearance is an awesome side bonus. More important to me are things like humor, intelligence, honesty…well, you get my drift.

Great post as always!

Tammy - Hi Pleasant House, I love me a funny man too! Strange how much smarter we get as we get older. Proving once again that God does indeed have a sense of humor! Thanks for stopping by. You’re awesome!

Tammy - Hi Kitt, What?! WWW didn’t drop in your email? I’m aghast (and worried). A couple of weeks ago I switched back to Feedburner and am hoping like mad that no one got dumped in the process. EEEEEKK! Thank goodness for Ande and August! Wait …. there was a blog party and I wasn’t invited? I’m back in high school right now, the odd girl out. *sigh* So happy you found your way to me, to share your awesomeness! It appears we are, as always, on the same page. Sisters from another mother! Grateful for you!

Jeff - Thanks as always for the bracing honesty and a bird’s eye view of the big picture, Tammy. It’s clear you see both forest and trees, and it is good. Lovely to hear a calming and rational and humor-filled take from the inner sanctum of the unnervingly secretive and possibly druidic Women’s Club. You wonderful creatures are truly an abiding mystery to us, and that’s not hyperbole. It’s terrif to hear something from your side that seems to have some vibrational connection to what we are feeling on these occasions; a Venn diagram we can all be thankful for! Keep typing.

Tammy - Thanks, Jeff, happy to have you here. Honesty is something I’m quite comfy with. Not to say that it doesn’t get me into hot water from time to time. I wrote a piece for the HuffPost that garnered me over 200 hate comments. Honesty has it’s price. You’re right, its always good to hear the other side view of the picture. It can’t hurt! I read your blog and enjoyed it very much. Let us become what would be natural … blog best-ies! Thanks for stopping by!

Death By Toilet Paper

There are few places that we are more vulnerable than in that little room, where after doing our business, we find 2 squares dangling when it is clearly an 8 square occasion. Such moments are what epic fights are made of.

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mel glenn - Dear Tammy, It’s hard to paper over differences without squeezing the life out of a relationship, but you are wise to advise a rational compromise. May toilet paper never become the major (t)issue, and may the soap of your relationship never slide down the drain.
A wise column written by someone IN a relationship, not by someone just talking about one. Keep up the good writing.

Carole Milligan - So true about the little compromises that are the major bricks in a relationship.
When my dear hubby and I were first married, one of the big disagreements was about which way the toilet paper rolled off the roll…whether it should peel off the bottom of the roll or the top of the roll. If I had the roll on my way, he would change the roll to his way. Seriously. I gave up because I decided to pick my battles.
When we moved into a house with two bathrooms (what luxury), he got “his” bathroom and I got “my” bathroom.
Thanks for sharing your humor and truth.

Vicki - Love, love your writing! I look forward to your blog!

Joan Cooper - There are few things in my life I am proud of, but I do pride myself on always – always anticipating the tissue role to be near throw away time. Ask my house buddy – Jeff. He is never – never without a squeezable comfy tissue role.

Right Jeff ???


Susan Williams - May all your disagreements be worked out so well.
Love isn’t easy, is it?
But it’s so worth it, and in the end, we end up as better people, for having been stretched in our understanding of the other.

Tammy - Hi Mel, I laughed so hard when I read your comment!! You are TOO funny. And very wise. Being IN a relationship is the only way to learn the true meaning of compromise. I know I am better for it. But I’ve gotta tell you, my friend, it doesn’t always feel that way! Thanks ever so for sharing your wit here with us!

Tammy - Carole, aw, yes, the way the TP rolls out is yet another bone of contention. The over or under conversation took place in our house too. Isn’t it funny the things that we cling to? The places in our relationships where we choose to draw the line. It seems the bathroom is a breeding ground for disagreements. We have to chuckle about it all, and as you say, pick our battles. Some of us go easier into the realm of compromise than others! So very happy to have you here, Carole!

Tammy - Thanks, Vicki! And I LOVE, love having you on the other side of my blog! Thanks for being here.

Tammy - Joan, clearly you have your priorities in order. Life is a lot easier when you live alone. Less rich, less exciting but easier. When you live with someone, that when the ying and yang takes place. Sounds like you’ve got it together. Appreciate you popping in, Joan.

Tammy - Hi Susan, no, love isn’t easy. It is the little things that often trip us up. We are such silly creatures to allow toilet paper, soap, or toothpaste cause such a ruckus in our relationships. Live and learn. And, yes, it IS so worth it. Compromise is something we generally learn the hard way. Hopefully we hang on to the knowledge. Wonderful having you here, Susan!

Suerae Stein - Haha – I love your “it was clearly an 8 square occasion” line! I was laughing out loud at that one. I’m glad you managed to find compromises with all those irritating habits. I think sometimes we take so long in finding a solution because we don’t want to give in to compromise right away. We want the other person to change their annoying little habits because we think that will somehow prove their love to us. Silly us, right? Great post!

Tana Bevan - Thank you for a delightful read! (I do, however, notice the article’s silence regarding another biggie –> toilet seat placement! *smiles*)

cheryl shaw - Loved your post and so understand the issues———the soap one is the biggest around here. I have a “roll” at the ready on the back of the commode, and I have no problem with the toothpaste thing as I am cheap and intend to use every last ounce——-especially since, I am told, that the brand I like is not made in the U.S.——–shame on me. For me, the “big” issue is placing the dish cloth between the sinks in the kitchen so it is always soggy and disgusting————it has started “discussions” and it is also a pretty small issue.

Ande Lyons - Oh Tammy LOVE!

It’s those pesky details that can take a relationship down fast. One couple ordering a backhoe for a quiet burial… the other filing papers and skipping town. All over – due to a scrap of toilet paper. Or in our household – refrigerator/pantry blindness.

Thank you for reminding us to focus on the big picture – and providing tips to overcome PDS – Pesky Detail Syndrome.

For the gals, may I suggest one of my favorite posts: Why Chromosome? It’s all about the gentle care and feeding of the Y in your life.

Much love and appreciation for YOU!


Kitt Crescendo - Oh, Tammy! I loved this post. My issues were never about the soap or the toothpaste. I always used girlie shower gel, so mine was safe, and I’ve always kept toothpaste right under the sink. The toilet paper, leaving the seat up and the empty rolls decorating my counter top? That drove me batty… Of course, talking things out helped fix most of those problems, but I’ve also learned…I’d rather take a good man with bad habits over a bad man with good habits any day. 😉

Tammy - Suerae, stubbornness is an ugly thing. Unfortunately I have it in spades. I’m working on it. Part of my “problem” is that I think I have the better idea. Ugh. I just cringed when I typed that. But, really, my ideas just make sense. Um, at least, more sense. Oh, drat, never mind. Sillyness is abounding. Thanks for the pop in and the oh too true comment!

Tammy - Hi Tana, ah, yes, the toilet seat. Well, let me share that the first time I fell into the toilet at 3 a.m. was the last time it was left up. I think the screaming and whining made my point. I think I could use these kinds of “incidents” as blog fodder fodder months! So happy you enjoyed the read. I know I am thrilled to have you here!

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, I get it. A soggy dish towel is not help to anyone. I think that the smaller the issue the harder it is to resolve. I’ve heard myself say more than once “This is simple stuff, what is the problem here?” Yup. We are a stubborn lot, each of us. Finding a common ground is often easier said than done. Luckily, after many “discussions”, we’ve accomplished just that. LOVE knowing you’re still out there, Cheryl! Thanks for chiming in!

Tammy - Hi Ande, hahaha, refrigerator and pantry blindness. Love it. I gave up on that one. The butter barrel that had a smear of butter left, or the juice carton that was empty but still left in the fridge. We all have our own “stuff”, don’t we?! Oh, those pesky details can really ruin an afternoon, a week, and sometimes a relationship. LOVE that you shared your AWESOME blog post on the Why chromosome! (love that title) Hope my readers click on it. They won’t regret it. I know I never do. You, my dear, are one fun and talented writer! As always, the pleasure is mine!

Tammy - Kit, LOVE your super wise perception. Yes, I’ll take a good man with bad habits any day over a bad man with good habits. I think. Maybe. Yes, Yes, I would! Okay. It’s all in the give and take of things. It really should be a whole lot easier. Just saying. Happy to see you here, wildcat!

Sheryl - There are few things more comforting than knowing a brand-new roll of toilet paper is only a glance away…

Tammy - Sheryl, haaa! You got that right. It seems like such an easy thing. But nooooooooo. It took months to resolve. Shame on us! Hope you enjoyed the read, so very happy to have you here!

Carol - Tammy,
Always a pleasure reading your blog. You are indeed a witty woman writing!
Can’t wait for the next one.

mickey - So funny and right on target as usual! You truly understand the human condition.
Love you!

Susan smart - OMG…….think I would have gotten separate bathrooms a long time ago !!!! Good job…..great compromise, and may the best tube or roll win !!!! You are a wonderful writer !

Tammy - Hi Carol, thanks SO much for the kind review. I can’t wait to write the next for you! Super glad to have you on the other side of my blog. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Hi Mickey, funny and on target are always good things. I just all ’em as I see ’em. Love you too, and so very grateful to have you here!

Tammy - Hi Susan, separate bathrooms are my dream. Wouldn’t it be wonderful?!! So happy you enjoyed the read. So, so appreciate you popping to say so!

Rick Dean - Tammy, once again you make me re-think life. From rethinking my use of toilet paper to the toothpaste, when we tackle a relationship, it makes everything a cooperative effort.
I gave up drinking out of the milk carton and walking downstairs in my underwear a long time ago, and now realize I need to be more attentive to my wife and the things we share. So much to do, but ya know….she’s worth it dammit!

Steven - When you’re right, you’re right…the great part is that you’re so damn funny when you’re doing it!

Tammy - Hi Rick, I hope your giggling while you are doing your re-thinking. Boy, you are right on when you say relationships are a collaborative effort. Every minute of the day. And night. Yes, you’re wife IS worth it. And so are you, my friend. So are you! Thanks for sharing and caring! Thrilled to have you on the other side of my blog!

Tammy - Hi Steven, funny is good! I appreciate the compliment. And I appreciate being called right … a lot. *giggle* Happy you enjoyed the read … and that you popped in to say so!

Laurie - You are right that we all have to make compromises. I can relate to those very same things. But I have had to pick my battles carefully, because as I get older, I find my frustration with those things runs higher than it used to. I remember reading a story once about a woman that was always mad at her husband for leaving his socks all over the house. Or leaving the toilet set up. When he died suddenly, she yearned to see his socks on the floor just one more time. We have to try to live with no regrets.
Keep up the good work!

Tammy - Hi Laurie, I agree, picking your battles is the secrete to a lasting relationship. I learned that from my 4 year old. One morning she chose a green and purple polka dotted skirt with a pink and yellow striped top with bows on it. She wanted to wear it to school. I was mortified. And then it happened. I thought to myself, did I really want to begin her day with tears of disappointment and not understanding? No. So, I threw it to the wind. She was happy, I was mortified, but when I picked her up from pre-school, her teacher hugged me and told me I did the right thing. Who knew?! Some things are worth fighting about. Some are not. I’m still learning the difference between the two. Thanks so much for stopping by. Wonderful to hear from you!

shirlene - Funny Tammy

Maureen - Love reading your posts!! I buy all three in bulk and keep a stockpile in both of the bathrooms with more out in the pantry…but now for the most important TP question – Over or Under?

Tammy - Hi Maureen, LOVE having you on the other side! Over for me …. under for him. Don’t even get me started!!

Elan - LOVED this! I swooped by to check out your blog and see how to implement your advice from last night’s seminar: 1) Shorter sentences; 2) employ humor; 3) Make sure that share buttons/follow buttons are visible visually. Now I can see how everything flows together!

Your piece was well-written, engaging and FUNNY, as well as easy to share. I will definitely have to start using shorter sentences & more catchy titles.

Thanks again for the great blogging workshop last night and I’ll make sure to read more of your funnies.


Tammy - Hi Elan, so happy you enjoyed the read. And even happier to see you implementing some of the things I talked about at the CSUN lecture. Hooray for you!! I visited your blog, enjoyed the read and happy to leave a comment. Good luck to you, Elan, so happy to have you here!

Chloe Jeffreys - Yes, we’ve fought over this nonsense before, too.

It never ceases to amaze me how entrenched we get in problems that have easy solutions. I’ve known fairly well-off couples who have gotten divorces over dishes in the sink and dirty laundry left lying around. Seriously? Of course, I doubt those things are the real issues, but still.

The need to be right is a marriage-killer.

Tammy - Chloe, you are so right. I, too, know many a couple who have split up over issues such as this. I didn’t want to be among them. Life is too short and the world way too aggravating on its own. In our house, behind closed doors, we are a team … right, wrong or ridiculous, we stand together and work the stupid stuff out! So happy to have you here, Chloe!

Shannon Bradley-Colleary - Hi Tammy — lovely read. But I do have two words for you two. “Second bathroom.” xo

Happy Hiller - That’s funny!

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