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30 Unmistakable Signs That You Are An Old Fart

I thought I’d have a little fun with the truth about aging. Join me as I review some of the things that undeniably put you on the list of old fartdom (yes, I know it’s not a real word, but just go with it). If I’ve forgotten anything please, chime in. My memory isn’t what it used to be!

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Joan Cooper - Oh Tammy !!! You see so much in ordinary life. How do you do it. Makes me afraid to have you look at me.

I love #11. Never thought of that. Must put it in my instructions.

I keep trying, but just cannot imagine not getting out of bed, dressing and going to work etc.


Carole - 31. You can’t remember which homophone is correct. (see #13…a creek is a small waterway, to creak is to make a grating or squeaking sound).
I’m hitting 61 next month, and all of those apply. Thanks for the good laugh today!

Laurie - Hi Tammy,
I think you have them all – except a reference to running/jogging. Unless my life is in danger, I will not be running anywhere any time soon.
How about you?
Keep up the great writing.

Tammy - Hi Joan, oh, #11 is super important! You must not leave that unattended. I see what I live, and then I write about it. Funny enough, so many people see the same things. We are not so different from each other. Appreciate the read, Joan and the comment. Wonderful having you here.

Tammy - Hi Carole, thanks ever so much for the edit. That’s what you get when you’re writing your blog at midnight. I corrected it and you have saved me from appearing the fool. Color me grateful. It’s good to know that as I cross the threshold of 60, there is good company on the other side! Thank you for that!

Tammy - Hi Laurie, run? Me? Oh, I don’t think so. I haven’t run since Mrs. Walker made me do laps every day in high school. I’ve never seen the need. I still watch marathons on the news and look in wonder at all those people doing that to themselves on purpose. Really? I want to yell “Stop running. Sit down. Have a coke and a cheeseburger and let’s talk”. Yup, I’m with you!!

Melanie Kissell - I’m bustin’ a gut and my sides are splitting open from laughing, Tammy!!

What time did you say Happy Hour is? 😉

I have SO many favorites here, I couldn’t possibly pick just ten. I turned 60 last month and , OH, can I relate to your list!

Thank God I’m not the only one who’s going through this craziness. By the way, just so you know, I don’t look my age (isn’t that what ALL the baby boomers say?!) LOL!!

Tammy - Hi Melanie, it’s always good to have a giggle buddy. You are officially mine! You’re right …. I haven’t met a Boomer yet who admits to looking their age. Long live denial!! I know I thrive on it! You are NOT alone, my friend, we are millions! So happy to have you in my corner of the world. Damn straight!

Christine Lang - How right you are Tammy! Thanks for the laughs.

Tammy - Thanks, Christine. Happy to laugh along side of you. Appreciate the comment!

Melanie Kissell - “Long live denial!” Right On!! 😉

Listen, Tammy, forget about losing those pesky 30 pounds. You’re beautiful just the way you are (my mother talking). I just about killed myself last spring losing 32 pounds in 41 days. Is that insane, or what?! NO, I don’t recommend using my weight loss method … it was pure hell. And as soon as I stopped riding that train, my caboose re-attached itself to the rest of the cargo. LOL!

Carole Schultz - Oh dear, Tammy, you are so right…I don’t think you have forgotten anything!! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry!
Thanks, I think.

Suerae Stein - I’m only 49 and most of these already apply to me – especially spending the night with the dog beats a night at a party! Thanks for the laugh!

Cheryl Nicholl - OMG! So FUNNY! My sister and I have actually discussed #11!!!! I don’t know whether to cry or laugh.

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, so glad you got a giggle out of it. Hey! Number 11 is THE most important one! We must not leave any loose ends. So very happy to have you in my neck of the woods. Now I’m going to visit yours! Appreciate the read AND the comment!

Tammy - Hi Suerae, you’re too funny. Guess you are an over achiever in more areas than one. Yup…spending the evening with my dog usually trumps most invitations. I think that’s kind of wonderful, don’t you? Always happy to share a laugh with you, my friend! Appreciate the comment!

Tammy - Hi Carole, let’s do both. Together. Then eat chocolate and make up divine stories of all the things yet to be. Sounds wonderful to me! You’re welcome. I think. (giggle)

Tammy - Melanie, holy cow! You lost 32 pounds in 41 days? Yikes! Were you a raving bitch half that time. Wait … was that my outside voice? I mean, I couldn’t expect ME to be a nice person when I was starving, deprived and pissed off. I give you HUGE kudos. . HUGE! That damn caboose is never gone for too long. You are my new hero! Thanks for sharing!

Helene Cohen Bludman - Good ones, Tammy, and so true (I turned 60 this year).

Tammy - Hi Helene, glad you enjoyed. I have to wonder … is it just me that has a preconceived idea in my brain that 60 is officially old? Shame on me. I read somewhere that Opey’s Aunt Bea on The Andy Griffith Show was portraying a 50 year old. We’ve come a LONG way since that depiction! Appreciate you stopping by and sharing!

Marvin - This is hysterical. HYSTERICAL! You should be submitting this to David Letterman. Seriously woman, you are a gem in a sea of blogging rocks!

Kitt Crescendo - Oh, Tammy… You never fail to entertain me. Strangely enough, I’m only 40, but living in Florida means I regularly get AARP brochures and have gotten calls from funeral homes offering to sell me burial plots. 😉

Tammy - Hi Kit, we shall laugh (and cry) together! So happy I made you giggle. Speaking of which, your comment is hilarious! Selling you burial plots over the phone? Yikes. I pour over my AARP magazines when they arrive. I’m such a nerd. I want to make sure there isn’t something I don’t know. Must be the “busy body” in me. Too funny. So happy to have you here. So happy! Thanks for the read and the comment!

Melanie Kissell - Bottom line (pun intended) …
It’s just not worth it, Tammy.

Hard core dieting is grueling. Luckily, it didn’t affect my temperament but it created a rigid, prison-like mindset and environment. Trips to the grocery store were torture. Ever been in a store while on a diet and smell all the luscious food they’re cooking up in the deli?
My biggest weakness is salty snacks so I had to avoid that aisle completely … even though it kept calling my name.

My best advice to anyone who wants to lose some weight would be to make one small change in your dietary habits at a time. For example, if you know you’re consuming too many sweets, start there. Trying to cut back or cut out all your favorite things at once is murder!

Tammy - Melanie, I’ve been there. Once did the HMR diet. Liquid only. Lost 48 pounds in 3 months. Hated my life. Gained it back slowly but surely. Now, I just cut back on my carbs and I lose it. Again, slowly but surely. I’ve come to the conclusion that carbs are not my friend. Sometimes worth the consuming, but not often. You gave good advice. Obviously lived and earned. Thanks for that.

Tana Bevan - You mean neither of you ladies spend large portions of your days running to the bathroom?!

Melanie Kissell - Wowzers!! 48 pounds in 90 days is astounding!

I honestly don’t know what kind of cloth you’re cut from to be able to endure an experience like that, Tammy. I considered going “all liquids” when I set out on my weight loss (un-fun) adventure, but I knew I wouldn’t last longer than a couple of days on liquids. I don’t care how yummy they make those smoothies and shakes look! Not my cup of tea.

Tana Bevan - Back when I had the misfortune of being a huge, unhappy, teenager crying on my grandfather’s shoulder, he’d hug me and say, “Oh Baby, there’s simply more to love!”

That may have something to do with my opinion that so long as health is not an issue, women are designed to be soft, squishy, and cuddly.

Tana Bevan - May I offer:

32: You keep one of those nifty credit card size magnifying glasses in your wallet (for when you can’t find any of your glasses because they’re all in special places).

33. You’re comfortable asking for a senior discount.

34. You find yourself fantasizing about a gorgeous hunk of human masculinity or feminity who enters your line of vision, only to realize he/she could be your son/daughter (or worse your grandson/granddaughter)?

And finally, to end on an upbeat note:

35. You’re no longer care what anyone says, and you finally allow yourself to do “it” your way.

Tammy - Tana, YES you may. And noble additions they are! Of course, I’ve possessed the feature of #35 most of my life. A blessing and a curse. I would tell my husband that I wasn’t bossy, I just had better ideas. Bam! Enough said. Thanks for the brilliant add-ons! I have kept a magnifying mirror in my purse or the last 10 years. You. Are. Awesome!

Tammy - Tana, we ARE designed to be soft, squishy and cuddly. Much like a teddy bear, only with skin and boobs. Lucky for me my special man loves me just the way I am. Which might have just a little something to do with the fact that he is the man of my dreams.

Melanie Kissell - “Soft, squishy, and cuddly” — love that Tana! And let’s throw in curvacious and voluptuous! 😉

KymberlyFunFit - According to your list I am halfway between new and old fartdom. And for the record staying home with my dog is a party. One that I wear comfy shoes to of course! PS Rule 31. You catch yourself hollering “Turn that damn music down” not up.

Tammy - Kymberly, there is a “new” fartdom? Hell, I’d much rather be there! Agreed … hanging with the dog trumps pretty much everything. LOVE, love #31, especially when it pertains to car stereo’s! You. Are. Awesome!

Cynthia Jordan - Oh gawd!!! Those are hysterical…#11 is so true. When my mom was in the nursing home, we would chuckle as I would shave and pluck her chin….and I would think just as you wrote…SOMEONE has to do this for me! I’ve thought of just getting electrolysis now so noone will have to be bothered. I’m so glad you have finally joined us “60’s folk”. And to add #31….Carrying a magnifying mirror in your purse to make sure you always get the food out of your teeth and the lipstick off your teeth….or to put your mascara on when you can’t find your glasses…… Love you.

Sandy - #11. That’s the one none of us speak about openly. My fiancee just recently learned I have chin hairs. For some reason, it doesn’t embarrass me any longer. I think I’ve come to accept them. A friend who is in her 60s said to me before I turned 50 that she gives her friends turning that age a set of great tweezers. They usually look at her funny, and she just smiles. “You’re gonna need them,” she says. Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed.

Tammy - So glad you enjoyed, Cynthia. I, too, have thought about hair laser removal. It’s on my list! You are SO right…I have a 5X mirror in my purse. Could not see a damn thing on my face without it. Love you right back! Thanks for the visit, love, love knowing you are on the other side.

Tammy - Sandy, your friend is priceless! I was once asked in an interview what 4 things I would take to a deserted island. Magnifying mirror, good tweezers, good book and Vaseline. I’m a simple girl with simple problems. Clearly I didn’t want any natives seeing a bearded woman. Ugh. My answer should have been a power boat. We all have our priorities. Haa! Appreciate the read AND the comment.

Marty M. - I’m not in my 60s (or a woman for that matter) but I’ve worked with many. Your post made me smile, in a good way ha ha.

The ladies over 60 I’ve known personally & worked with seemed to nearly always have a good attitude about their age and some of the things you wrote about.

But also I noticed they were always really sweet and fun to be around.

I’ve learned not everyone ages gracefully, but when I’m around someone who has, I really have to appreciate that.

Thanks! 🙂

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Happy Birthday To Me!

I must confess, turning 60 feels a bit daunting to me. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I must say I like it like that. I’m still venturing, trying new things, and new ideas. I don’t think I look my age, but I’m not sure it would be a bad thing. Age really only matters if you’re a fine wine r a cheese. I’m neither. I admit I imagined myself thinner, richer and having a butler by the tie I reached 60.

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mercyn - A very happy birthday and many, many more.

I have two thoughts on turning the big 6-0 – by this time in our lives we should do what we want when we want, and
should not put off until tomorrow what we want and can do today.
And (a third thing!) keep on dreaming, adding to and checking things off our bucket list!

Scott Morgan - Happy Birthday, shoog 🙂

Tammy - Thanks, Scott. Wonderful to know you are out there!

Tammy - Thanks, Mercyn. ALL great advice. It seems like just a moment ago that I was touting with my girlfriends that we would never trust anyone over 30. Ha! Go figure! Appreciate hearing from you!

James - If this is what 60 looks like, I’m all about it! Happy Birthday Witty Woman. Thanks for rocking our world with your weekly prose!

Jenny - Happy Happy Birthday. I will help you celebrate and have one, two, who knows maybe a bunch of candy chocolate kisses just for you!

mickey - Happy Birthday!!
60 scared me silly, but here I am, about to celebrate 62 years young. You, my wonderful, beautiful, brave friend will brazenly skate through your 6oth year with all the grace and fearlessness you’ve always shown!

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Hi Tammy:
LOVE the photo of the cake and the sentiment. You’re just a few years ahead of me… Let’s grow older, you go first!

The thought of me (or you!) being 60 simply blows my mind! But I love it compared to the only other alternative, so here’s to those that wish us well and all the rest can go to hell!

Vicki - My dearest Tammy,
Many Happy Birthday’s to you..and didn’t you know that 60 is the new 30? May you have a magical day!!
Love you to bits!

Frankie K. - Happy Birthday Tammy! We are only as old as we feel and I’m not slowin’ down either anytime soon either.

Tammy - Thanks, Vicki, I’m trying like hell to buy into the hype that 60 is the new 30. But something inside me screams. Hell, I don’t want to go through that again! Love you to bits too! Thanks for popping by!

Tammy - Hi Laura Lee, the photo WAS funny, wasn’t it!? I imagined what my cake would look like if I plastered 60 flaming candles on it. Okay, I’ll go first and report back to you about this aging business. I’m with you, my mind is blown each time I think about little Tammy Jean turning 60. Oh my! Lovely to hear from you, thanks ever so for the comment!

Tammy - Thanks, Mickey, I’m not scared silly yet, but do fully expect to be hit by the impact. Martini’s are on stand-by. I appreciate the vote of confidence. Grace? I’m not so sure. Fearless, ridiculously so. I will give it my best shot. Mostly because it’s my ONLY shot. I love you.

Tammy - Hi Frankie, there are days I feel 100 and others I feel 21. We are probably all like that. You and have the right idea….keep moving forward. We are then a more difficult target and it keeps our arteries flowing. Thanks for the kind wishes and for the endless support.

Tammy - Hi Jenny, thanks for that. Add an Apple-tini to those chocolate kisses and you have an almost perfect lunch! Appreciate the kind thought and the comment!

Mel Glenn - Yes, 60 is daunting, but you have a lot of things going for you, principally your spirit and pluck. Though the present is the only thing important, I like the way you look to the future – to what you will do.
What should I say? – I hit the big 70, just had an operation, and feel the passing of days. I could use more of your optimism.
So Happy Birthday and take care. You have many more exciting columns to write.

Tammy - Thanks, Mel. I have pluck? I LOVE pluck! I always look to tomorrow. It helps keep it interesting. My grandpa would always tell me the trip of a lifetime starts with the dreaming. Happy belated 70th. Sorry to hear about the operation. I’ve had a couple so far and will look forward to foot surgery in my near future. Oye! I will use it as an excuse to get chaperoned around and waited on hand and foot (get it?). I’m happy to share my optimism with you any day of the week, my friend. I appreciate YOU.

Suerae Stein - A very happy birthday to you, Tammy!!! You have a wonderful outlook and that is what is most important in life. Age is just a number, unless you can turn it to your advantage, of course. When I turned 40 I decided that my sleeping arrangements should always be comfortable. Gone are the days when I would be willing to sleep four in a room on a girls weekend and have to share a bed with one of the girls in order to save a little money. I want my own bed, damn it! Now I have 50 looming around the corner and I’m trying to keep my mid life crisis down to a mid life issue, but am not sure I’m doing the best job! Lol! Enjoy this birthday and just keep living, laughing, and loving, as you always have. 🙂

eileen - Happy Birthday! And think about all the things people might say about you if you were a 60-year old bottle of wine – great legs, bold, appealing, tasty, complex. So enjoy that you have “medium maturity” and know that more is just going to be better.

Tammy - Thanks, Eileen! I like the way you think! You forgot sassy *giggle*. Age is but a state of mind. My mind will enter a mild state of panic come mid July. No worries. I am ready. Apple-tini’s, chocolate, my dog and my man (not necessarily in that order) will help the day go down smoothly. Wonderful knowing you are out there. Truly, thanks for that!

Tammy - Thanks, Suerae. You’re funny. I’m with you…don’t compromise the sleeping comfort! You will find 50 a breeze. I figured that when I reached 50 I was automatically considered wise. Damn if it wasn’t true. Hard not to be wise after living 50 years, unless you simply weren’t paying attention. And I paid lots of it. To everything. I’m here for you should your mid-life issue work up to a dull roar. Follow in my footsteps and just try to be the best damn 50 there ever was. I have a feeling it won’t be too hard for you to pull off. Thanks for the well wishes and the comment.

Carole - Happy birthday, Tammy! I enjoyed my 6oth last year and am looking forward to #61 next month. Thanks for that humorous birthday cake photo!
I like learning new things and taking chances as well. To that end, I just passed my certification test to become a natural health coach for cats and dogs. It’s never too late to dream new dreams and learn new things. Keep on doing what you are doing!
Enjoy your drive up the coast and your visit to Hearst Castle. If I may suggest, plan to stop in at the Madonna Inn and get a tour of some of the rooms there.

Christine - Happy Birthday Tammy!! May you have 60 more beautiful years!

Joan Cooper - Take it from someone who has been there – you are just a kid.

The things you love most will be more and more dear to you as you advance in age.

Many many more B Days.


Pamela O'Mack - Happy Birthday, Tammy! I had no idea! If I had known, I would have included you to the other birthday celebrations on Saturday, even though you couldn’t attend. We all could have sang to you! Love you, Girl! You are a great looking 60! Lv, Pamela

Tammy - Thanks, Carol. I LOVE that you just completed your certification test to be a natural health coach for our furry friends. THAT is awesome! Congrats to you! You’re right, it is NEVER too late to live our dreams. Never. I admire you. And am happy and proud for you. I will certainly stop in to see Madonna Inn. I’ve heard about it and was in a hurry last time around…all 37 years ago. This go around, I’m taking my damn time! So very happy to have you here. And thanks for the sharing.

Tammy - Thanks, Christine. From your mouth … to God’s ears! Thanks for stopping by!

Tammy - Hi Joan, I LOVE that you call me a kid. LOVE THAT. I wouldn’t mind sharing many, many more Bdays … with you.

Tammy - Thanks, Pamela, yes I’m a July 15 birthday girl. Right smack dab in the middle of the month. Thanks for the birthday wishes….you can sing to me anytime. As far as being a great looking 60, I’d have to ask when the last time was you had your eyes checked….but I’d rather just kiss you on the cheek and say thank you. *blush*

Cynthia Jordan - Well, well….You finally caught up to me…It took you a year (ha ha)….Happy Birthday my dear friend..60 wasn’t the easiest birthday and I still have trouble saying that I am that old…I sure don’t feel it or act it! I always loved the Hearst Castle and Madonna Inn is quite a unique place…and when I think about how long ago I was there it simply amazes me….the years do go so quickly, don’t they? As we know..”we’re born, we do lots of stuff and then we die” (personal joke to those who might think that sounded rather remorse). Love you Tammy

Marilyn - Hey! Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!! Take that day enjoy it to the finish……also….drive carefully!!! Love you

TanaBevan - “I’ve got a lot of things on my bucket list and I don’t think God could stand the whining if I wasn’t able to get to most of them.” Haha. That says it all!

As they say in the Old Country, may you live “until 120!”

TanaBevan - PS: Happy Birthday!

Tammy - Hi Cynthia, yes, I’m always trying to catch up to you. This is NOT an easy birthday, and I certainly don’t feel 60…or act like it. Immaturity has it’s balance. Yup, we are born, we do stuff and then we die. I remember the first time you said that to me. I was taken off guard and giggled nervously. Because you were so very serious about it. I’ve come to the conclusion that you were right. BUT, (you knew there would be a ‘but’) it’s all that wonderful “stuff” in the middle that makes our life so worth living. I love and miss you, my dear, dear friend. Here’s to us…and all our stuff!

Tammy - Thanks, Marilyn. I absolutely intend to enjoy EVERYTHING to the finish. I won’t be driving…I’ll be telling someone how to drive (giggle), napping and chatting. Thanks for popping in and sharing. Love you too!

Tammy - Hi Tana, yeah, I thought that summed me up pretty well, too. Thanks for the kind thought … from your mouth to God’s ears!

Tammy - Haaa! I knew your intention. But thanks for the official birthday wish!

Lee Lefton - Dear one, 60 is the new 30 if you ask me. I’ll never see you as old, but rather as that 27 year-old fireball who never backed down when faced with the wrath of Sam Barth.

I hit the big 6-0 two years ago and can honestly say, I’ve never felt better. The bucket list is starting to be emptied and refilled at the same time. Less work with less worry about it. More fun things every day. Long walks with wife and doggins. Gym and/or swim every day. Lots of great movies, both on Netflix and at the real theater, which I never tire of. Well-written books. And some great trips ahead. Spain in September. Austin in November for a big UT football game–which is much more Annie’s thing, although I will say that I’ve become addicted. To the point where I wear Longhorn t-shirts and hang out at the local sports bar during FB season. Costa Rica in February. And surprise of surprises, although you need to keep this under your hat, Thanksgiving to Christmas in Santa Monica. We’re taking the lovely dog. Please don’t let on to the wife that I told you. She wants to surprise everyone. But I will give you a heads up when we get there and the four of us will spend a great time.

Life is good, ain’t it? I’m just glad we all have each other to celebrate it.


Kitt Crescendo - Happy Birthday, Tammy!

It’s strange, I think I’ve always had older friends… And these days it’s really hard to tell who’s at the 60 mark and who’s not.

Considering most of my grandparents/great-grandparents made it into their 90’s, I say you’re just now hitting your prime. 🙂

Tammy - Hi Lee, so good to hear from you! I’m no longer 27 but am still a bit of a spitfire. Hard to argue with a God given trait. I LOVE how you manage your bucket list. A little give…a little take. Awesome! So very excited to hear of your travel plans. Steven has wanted to go to Costa Rica for some time now. Can’t wait to get the skinny from you guys. Also excited to see you both on your secret trip to the city. Shhhhh. Life IS good. And mine is better because you are in it. Miss and love you.

Tammy - Thanks, Kit. There are days when I think I’m living my prime. I’ve never felt more confident, smarter, calmer and self assured. Then there are days when I listen to my bones creak and think ‘what the hell?’. As for being in my prime….I’ll take it! So happy you pooped in to share. Great hearing from you!

Jim Lunsford - OMG! First of all – you look F#@$ing fabulous. Notice I used a dollar sign as one of the symbols to help hide the F-bomb – that is a secret butler bithday wish from me – doh! Well not so secret after all. I love what you say about – well everything in this post, but especially about – taking chances and helping others. Have a great, long overdue, return trip to Hearst Castle. I was just there for the first time a few months back. So amazing! It was one of the things on my bucket list – and as I turn 50 in a few months, I thought I should get started. It’s a fairly full bucket. Happy birthday!!!

Maureen - Happy Birthday! 60 isn’t so bad – way better than turning 40 felt! I am much more aware of the finite-ness of my days, and try not to let opportunities slip by as I once might have. And getting older is definitely better than the alternative! Thanks for another good read!

Tammy - Thanks, Maureen. Forty was a cake walk for me. Come to think of it … they’ve all been pretty easy to take. Except perhaps this one. *gulp* Sixty? Really? When did that happen? The bucket list gets fuller and there appears to be less time to empty it. No pressure! Growing old is definitely a privilege I am hugely grateful for. Every. Single. Day.

Tammy - Thanks, Jim. You made me smile (and giggle). I appreciate a well placed F-bomb as well as the next guy. Am SO excited to spend a few days at the Castle, the wineries and just sleep in and wander about. No computer in sight. Hope I don’t go into a spasm. YES, get started on the bucket list. If life has taught me anything it’s taught me that it grows almost as fast as time flies. Thank you…for being here. I appreciate it tons.

Tammy - By the way, Jim, I’ve tried to subscribe to your AWESOME BLOG….but this is what I get when I do “The feed does not have subscriptions by email enabled”. You may want to check that and enable an email subscription feed. Yes?? Would love to be on the ComingCleanDad train.

Melanie Kissell - You have more spunk at 60 than some 40-yr-olds I know! Happy [belated] B’Day, Tammy. I hope you enjoyed that Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s! 😉

I wish you and your new love all the joys in life, loads of travel, and lots of vodka!

Tammy - Thanks, Melanie. I will celebrate the official day this coming Monday. I prefer to think of it as the National Martini Day. Yes, I just made that up. Spunk is something I’ve never had a short supply of. Common sense, well, that’s another matter. Thanks for the good wishes, I will pack them with me. YOU have a fan in me!

Melanie Kissell - I could use a “fan” right about now so thank you! (No, not for hot flashes – said adios to those eons ago). I’m in the process of making a long distance move and let me just say … moving SUCKS. You can cut the humidity with a scalpel here in SoCal today and my bra is sticking to me. LOL!

I was trying to recall when we first crossed paths in the blogosphere, Tammy, and my dinosaur brain isn’t computing. But I’m glad to be here again … kinda like coming home … minus those pesky house rules. 🙂

Stacey Joy - Hope you had a fabulous birthday and a wonderful trip! You definitely deserved it! I love the idea of better late than never especially when it comes to things that we planned to accomplish, but may have taken a little longer than expected.

I went to Napa recently for the first time. I had not been to SF since 2006! Better late than never. And to think it’s so close. I am not working this summer, unless it relates to my writing or my marketing. Better late than never.

Thank you for another great read!

Tammy - Hi Stacey, thanks so much. Actually not leaving until Saturday. Super excited to see the old Castle again, hang with my loving man, sleep in and partake in the wineries of the region. The Better Late Than Never mindset forgives our tardiness and allows us to pursue those things that others might shake their heads at because we are attempting them a little too late in life. Screw them. Go for it, my dear. You have much to offer and while you are still young, time flies like a beast. Thrilled to have you here!

Tammy - Melanie, I don’t remember when you first popped in to say hello. But I’ve missed you and am happy to have you back. Welcome home! I live is SoCal that has recently been labeled the South Florida of the West. Yuck! Where are you headed, my darling?? I’ve done 3 cross country moves. None of them were awesome but all of them were a kick of fun in the adventure department. Eating junk food from the cooler in the backseat, stopping to let the dog pee and checking in to hotels along the way with a kid and three animals. Are we having fun yet?? Keep me posted … on you!

Pam Weston - Oh, sweetie, you’re still a baby — I, on the other hand, am five years ahead of you. Now, THAT’S something to cry about!

Tammy - Pam! So good to see you here. I have to confess, I kinda like being the baby in the crowd of two. Hard to believe, isn’t it, that we are 60 and 65? What the hell happened? But if living well is the best revenge, I think we got that covered. SO wonderful to know that you are on the other side of my blog. Thanks for the read AND the comment!

Pam Weston - Soooo depressing to now be eligible for Medicare. I need some chocolate….

Melanie Kissell - I think I’ve got it, Tammy! Have you ever joined a 30-day blog challenge? Maybe two or three years ago? I have a hunch that’s where we met initially.

Hold on to your seats, hold on to your hats, folks — I’m moving to Arizona. Yes, I know it’s damned hot there this time of the year. No one fails to tell me that fact. LOL!! And I’ll be traveling with my two four-legged furry friends. Thanks goodness they love the car.

Long story short, I’ve reconnected with a man I fell in love with thirty-six years ago … and he happens to reside in AZ. And now, so will I. 🙂

Tammy - Melanie, just sent you a PM via your yahoo email. Yowzers! What a story! Arizona is about to get a whole lot hotter!

Hey Paula, Kim, Kanye, Snowden, President Putin, and Barnes & Noble … what the hell is going on here?

Paula, Kim Kanye, Edward and Putin, I am sick of you. I’m sick of hearing about you, viewing your pictures and listening to the talking heads regurgitate your idiocies and criminal acts. We’re through! As a member of a civilized society I will worry about losing what little sanity I have left by way of a comfy book store that offers the mind a respectable respite and the soul a place to dream. I’m going to spend a couple of hours sitting at my favorite B & N perusing the crisp pages of promise. No doubt, the privilege won’t be here forever.

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Joan Cooper - Every day we are all bombarded with an overload of information that means nothing to our lives.

This was predicted in a book named “Furture Shock” published, I believe, back in the 80s. How true.

But it sells. If it didn’t they wouldn’t do it.

We need to boycott the media, but if we do that, what do we do wih our brains and time? Scary


Frankie - And gee, who can forget the Santa Monica College shooting or our gun control issues, now that’s just a blip on the screen too. We tend to be apathetic bunch?

Loved your post! I’m sick of these reports too.

Cheryl Nicholl - Ya know how you can search the universe and still never find your soulmate? Well that’s not a problem I have anymore. I am so glad I’ve found your blog and you took the words right out of my frigin’ mouth.

Suerae Stein - Oh, so true, Tammy! I’ve stopped watching the news altogether and realize that I will have to give up Facebook if I want to be completely in the dark about these stupid people. I guess we can’t escape some of these idiots. I am sad about Barnes and Noble. We lost our Borders a few years ago and it still leaves a gaping hole in our retail community. (We never had a Barnes and Noble). Hopefully, the demise of the big box book stores will open the door for the smaller independent book sellers. Great post, as always!

Enchanted Seashells,Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife - If you can lose anywhere close to 30 lbs in less than 2 weeks, you GOT to tell me how. We could make a trillion dollars and buy Barnes & Noble. Seriously.

Mel Glenn - The comfy bookstore is going the way of the dodo. I love B and N, but get a lot of my books from Amazon. Remind me to recommend a few. We are creatures of the 24 hour news cycle. Not only “if it bleeds, it leads,” but we want to the dirt on Kim and the butter on Paula. Pop news is good for ratings, which mean higher ad revenues. Keep fighting the good fight; maybe Walter Cronkite will resurrect.

Tammy - Hi Joan, I read the book you mention and enjoyed it tons. You can do what I have started to do, tune in to the BBC news each night. Then you will get a dose of reality instead of eccentric news mongering. We should be ashamed of ourselves in our news media. With all that we have at our disposal, to be reduced to the same sound bites every hour on the hour, day after day, well, it’s disgusting. But I have a feeling I already said that! Scary times, Joan. Time much better spent with your horses!! Thanks ever so for the read and the reply!

Tammy - Hi Frankie, not forgotten on this end, that’s for sure. We do tend to be an apathetic bunch. I think it’s because so much is crammed down our throats repeatedly. Repeatedly. Wait…I already said that. Haaa! Love that we are on the same page. Awesome! Thanks for being here…appreciate the comment.

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, we are indeed Birds of a Feather! I’m so happy you found me too! Which resulted in me finding you. Follow that? Happy to have a comrade in the never ending war against nonsense. I’ll be issuing the required uniform, walkie-talkie and stun gun later. Stay tuned. Thanks for the read, so very happy to have you on the other side!

Tammy - Hi Suerae, I’m hoping that books will rise to the top on some vehicle. I’d hate to think that Amazon would end up controlling all of it. A perfect example of how efficiency can rob a society of conscience and a little bit of humanity. *sigh* So happy you enjoyed the read. We all need a good venting every once in a while. Thrilled to have you here, Suerae!

Tammy - Hi Enchanted, hey, if only it were possible! The real truth is that the stress of it is driving me towards M&M’s. A fatal blow in my quest to be slim and svelte. Proving once again, that you can’t have everything. And yet I continue to strive for it ALL. So appreciate your refreshing humor. Thanks for that!

Tammy - Hi Mel, if Walter comes back we are all in trouble! Ha! You’re right, the news these days has gone the way of the train wreck; hideous to see, yet we can’t look away. I’m looking away and dialing in my BBC news network. I confess, I still tune in to Brian Williams nightly news but I think it has a lot more to do with gazing at Brian than it does the news. Truth is, that charm is wearing off too. You can have the dirt on Kim and the butter on Paula (love that!). I’ll take a walk with my dog any time. So love knowing you are on the other side of my blog. We do have such fun, don’t we?!

Eularee Smith - Are you reading my mind? So here is my mantra…Not my concern. Like your Dad, I am beginning to see the world is spinning off it’s axis. I think it all began with reality shows. When will the hurting stop. You beat me to the punch with this one.

Tammy - Hi Eularee, so happy you joined in on the fun. Reality shows definitely brought us down to a new standard of low. Seems we have stayed there ever since. Not sure we can all climb our way out of the perpetual onslaught of news and useless information. ButIe do have a mute button and a stereo which finds itself ‘on’ a lot more often these days. LOVE your mantra. I often tell my dog (yes, I talk to my dog) to mind her own business. She is a snoop. A group of kids, an open garage door, a car slowing down, she wants to know all about it. I’m thinking I should start listening to my own advice….not my business! *click* Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Awesome!

Janie Emaus - I know how you feel. The B&N closed near me and now I have no place to browse.

Jennifer - “Hell in a handbasket” is a phrase I use ALL the time. I have no idea what it means, but my grandparents said it all the time LOL

I take all of “this” into perspective. Every generation had their “thing” that was bringing down society. Remember when Madonna burst on the scene in the 80s? How ’bout free love in the 60s? These times will seem tame to what the future holds.

See lemonade out of lemons 😉

Tammy - Janie, sign of the times, I’m afraid. No good can come from it. Soon Amazon will own the world. Thanks for stopping by and taking a moment of your time to leave a comment.

Tammy - Jennifer, Yes, I remember all those times. We were called dirty hippies. The Beatles were “mongrels”, and the Stones were “roaches” to our parents. Times are a changing, that’s for sure. Nowadays we have cyber crime, cameras everywhere, politically correct faux-pahs, gluten free products and warnings of global warming. You’re right….it’s always something! Thanks for popping by. So happy you did!

Melanie Kissell - I don’t know about you, Tammy, but I love the smell and feel of a good book. Sure, the Kindle Fire is nice but c’mon. Does everything have to be about electronics?! 🙁

Okay, okay. I’m aging myself but so what? A bookstore isn’t just a place where books are sold. It’s an experience! It’s an outing of the adventurous kind. It’s traditional and solid and sacred. Hell, it’s fun!

I can’t recall the last time I turned on the television. Probably well over a year ago. I used to enjoy tuning in but then my enjoyment turned to disdain and disgust. Low quality (and NO quality!) programming … with very few exceptions … and horrible, horrible news stories. I’ll pass.

And just for the record …
I don’t give a rat’s ass what some celebrity names her child. “Why” is that even considered newsworthy??!!

Tammy - Melanie, you and I would make excellent book store occupants. I’ve often stopped in for a quick peruse only to find that I stayed for hours. Hours! There’s no place like a room filled with books! Sadly, I don’t think that B & N will be around much longer. Hard to imagine what Amazon will do when I knock on their door with my cup of java asking to look around their store and sit in their comfy chair for hours. Yeah. Exactly. So sad. And for the record, I don’t give a rat’s ass about ANY celebrity news either. Are you sure we’re not related?

Melanie Kissell - Soul sisters! That’s what we are! 😉

I’m with ya 100% on the “celebrity news” thing. Very sad to think that’s what our society is craving and is willing to pay for and more than elated to fill their heads with. I don’t mean to come across as high and mighty, but I’ve lived long enough to know better. I’ve been around long enough to recognize the highest priorities in life — the things that truly matter.

Sh*t Happens

Clearly something somewhere has gone terribly awry. Okay, so I’ve got to share with you that I am one of the nicest people I know. No, really, I am. I do unto others, I donate a dollar each time I buy pet food at PetSmart, I always let the merging car in, I don’t lie […]

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Tana Bevan - Of all the things to comment on, the fact your chosen picture creeps me out is what first comes to mind, is pretty pathetic. Then again, maybe that’s par for the course. After all, when inundated by the tsunamis of life, there’s no way to take it all in, so we focus on the minutia.

(I learned the hard way many years ago that complaining is a luxury. It is truly possible to reach a point where complaining is not an option. [How depressing is that?] Full disclosure: not that it stops me, but every so often I do acknowledge the luxury of my complaining.)

This thing called life is a tricky road. It’s one way, like those people-movers. Even if you run as hard as you can backwards, you’re still moving forward. The thing is, you don’t know if the decisions, choices, attitudes you make along the way are the right ones. Not until you reach the end.

And yet, unlike lemmings who go blindly into the sea, we (those of the thinking sort), question, ponder, attempt to make some sense from the madness and chaos that is life. On good days we do okay. On bad days, well, we keep moving because at some point, “this too shall pass.”

Here’s wishing your rocky patch passes sooner than later. Know also my friend, there are many (myself included) who are rooting for you and sending good, kind, and loving thoughts your way.

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - I KNOW! I fully prefer “Poop happens!” It somehow has deeper meaning for me!

Joan Cooper - GEE I thought I was the only one that felt that way.

You do it so much better than I do. I recently got a homeopathic tranquilizer which does not make you sleepy and it works. Just takes the edge off these life frustrations.

What I have learned is that you cannot depend on people for happiness. Really. You learn to tolerate and let it slide by. What do they know anyway? Life is not fair. Don’t wait for that. You heard the irishman that said….I would rather be born lucky than smart…. Hear hear. Unfortunately I am neither. Boo Hoo.

As you said – you have a lot of blessings. Count them – morning and night.

Love, Joan

Mel Glenn - Seems to me you’re asking for parity and fairness. You must know that the world is not an equal balance of good and bad. But as you also admit, you have the goods when it comes to the BIG things. Be thankful for that, (as you are.)
To me the greatest injustice is the ravage of getting old. As S. Johnson says, “”I’m coming to see my body as a decrepit, old tenement house and realize that the owner has no intention of making repairs.”
Now that’s unfair; go fight that!

Sandra Sallin - You are one funny lady. Maybe that’s the karma right in front of your face. You are funny. Most people are not. That’s it.

Tammy - Laura Lee, that works too! I guess the feeling is universal. Thanks for being on the team!

Tammy - Hi Joan, I think I’d rather be lucky AND smart! Talk about wanting it all. You’re right, life isn’t fair, that I know. But dear God almighty…wouldn’t it be nice if the odds slanted in my favor every once in a while?! I’m just saying. That’s enough bitching from me .. I’m off to count my blessings!

Tammy - Hi Sandra, thanks for that! Celebrate humor is something I do every day. Thanks for reminding me that it’s a gift. As are you.

Kitt Crescendo - I absolutely think you can give up without giving in. In fact, sometimes I think that’s what forgiveness and letting go is all about. For me, it’s not an ex, but my dad. It took me a long time to learn that trying to be the “good” daughter was pointless, especially since he barely noticed the effort, much less appreciated it. He’s narcissistic and incapable of taking ownership for any consequences regarding his actions. I kept reaching out, but it only made me sad. Not that he was cruel. He was just clueless and self absorbed….and blamed my mom for his lack of relationship with me and my sister (rather than his affair, moving half way around the world and pretending we didn’t exist…and that’s just the Cliff Notes version). A few years ago I finally gave him a dose of tough love and told him how his behaviors impacted me and let him go. Does that mean I’m not cordial? No. In fact, I still sent him a very generic father’s day card. I just don’t invest myself anymore (a byproduct of forgiving him and accepting his flaws, I think), and I don’t go out of my way. Basically, he’s just any other person to me now. Sad, but true…and self defense.

Eularee Smith - You have no idea how heartwarming this piece was to me. The past few months have been one challenge after another and yes, it was beginning to feel like “why me?” The take away, I suppose, is why not me? Stuff happens. In hindsight we have the luxury of knowing whether it is a curse or a blessing. Until then, we pick up and move on to the next bit of sh*t we step in along the road.

Tana Bevan - Tammy — As a final thought, fertilizer (a “polite society” euphemism for sh*t) makes for beautiful roses. Though of course, roses do have thorns which tend to get caught in your clothes and leave you bleeding. So maybe that wasn’t the best example. But that sounds so much more romantic than “fertilizer makes for better carrots.”

It’s really too early in the morning to be punchy, but there you have it. I am. No worries. My wishes remain as before. May your rocky patch pass sooner than later and know many (yours truly included) are rooting for you and sending good, kind, loving thoughts your way.

Tana Bevan - I so hear you, both what you said and didn’t say. Disinterest, apathy, or even estrangement are often held as an extreme (and undesired) result to dealing with one’s family. Sometimes it’s necessary so YOU can flourish.

As I pondered the matter recently (link below), I came to the following conclusion:

“When you’ve allowed yourself to truly go through the entire agonizing (and seemingly endless) process [of grief], you will reach a point where you hold no grudges. Harbor no resentment. Perhaps deep inside there’s a quiet, still place with just a hint of sadness or sorrow over what might have been. But you also have the peace that comes with accepting that it’s not. And that makes it okay. You are then truly free. Able to move on. Stronger. Wiser. And forever connected to the cycles of life, spirit, and emotion.”

From your comment I hear your wisdom and feel your strength. Fingers crossed you appreciate the magnitude of your accomplishment and are proud of it — as you have every right to be!

Tammy - Hi Eularee, one foot in front of the other is my motto these days. Sound like we are pacing together. Wonderful hearing from you. Truly. So happy the post spoke to you. I appreciate you stopping in to say so.

Tammy - Hi Tana, complaining is a luxury. To me, it’s an art form. *giggling* Rocky patches always pass (thank God for small favors) but I am incapable of letting them slide by without voicing my contempt over it all. It helps me to breath. Life is funny, we were given this life because we are strong enough to live it. Some days it sure doesn’t feel that way. Thank you for the good wishes. I will get through it all with a smile on my face and a tap in my dance. I’m grateful for a very many things. People like you are just one of them.

Tammy - Hi Mel, you crack me up! You are so refreshing. YES, I should go fight the fact that our bodies are becoming more and more decrepit while we do all we can to stave off the wolves…all to no avail. The problem is, who would I present the problem to? God? I’m thinking it would be too late at that point to push the cause. I agree, it is the greatest injustice. The world is far from fair. I guess I will quit my bitching. Clearly I am blessed with the greatest readers a blogger could have. Yes, that be you!

Tammy - Hi Kit, your story about your dad is a sad one. But self defense often calls upon us to do the hardest thing ever: give up the hope. I’m happy for you that you found peace. The price was high. Higher for your father. I pray he knows that. I agree, surrender can save us. I’m so glad you found a way to do exactly that. Thank you, Kit, for the sharing of your personal story. It brings everything into the light. I’m grateful for that. And for you!

Tammy - Thanks, Tana, I LOVED your post and hope others will find there way there. It IS worth the read. Strength comes from having to. Plain and simple. At least for me. Wisdom comes from having done things the wrong way at some point along the road. I think they call it “live and learn”. I appreciate your very kind and caring words. Thank you for that. And thank you for contributing here. I simply thrilled to have you.

Kitt Crescendo - Thanks, I do appreciate it. It wasn’t an easy journey…and I think somehow, that tough love moment allowed me to gain closure. Although he needed to hear it, I kind of doubt he understood. But really, it was more for me. So I could have no regrets and move on.

Tammy - Kit, I get it. Believe me….I get it! It HAD to be for you. Saving ourselves is mandatory if we are to help, love and save others. In my humble opinion, you did good!

Tana Bevan - Kitt–The cool thing is, when you’ve done your part (and it totally and completely sounds like you have), you get to claim that peace of mind/peace of spirit/peace of soul as your own. You’ve done yours. What another (in this case your sire), does with that is his story. Claim also your right to stand tall & revel in the fact that you did right by you. Your actions are to be commended!

Enchanted Seashells,Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife - I laughed. Sorry. Not AT you tho, but the tale is funny! Hope things turn around for you. Do what I do…shop!

Tammy - Enchanted, thanks, I’m working on it. Shopping does help. But alas, you have to be “in the zone”. And right now, it’s too hot to even think about it. Glad to have made you giggle!

The Things I Want My Daughter To Know

My dear sweet daughter, Celebrating your 28th birthday made me reflect and want to share some well-earned wisdoms with you. You know, the kind of stuff I wish someone had told me when I was your age? Yes, I know you didn’t ask, but we both know that has never stopped me before. First up, […]

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Joan Cooper - Dear Daughter,

How very lucky you are to be a child of Tammy’s. Wise, funny, understanding.

Joan Cooper - Dear Daughter,

How lucky you are to be a child of Tammy’s. Wise, funny, loving, discerning, etc. etc.

Know this for sure…….I am an old lady know, but at 40 I was a girl, at 50 I wasn’t even thinking of middle age. It was at 60, that reality started to check in, but I was 70 before it really hit – in thehips. I had that fixed and it was like being reborn. Unfortunately I was not realistic and am living in a two story house when I need a one story house with my knees.

Enjoy your young life. Once a day was a day, but now it is only 5 minutes long.

Live it up.


Tammy - Oooh, Joan, thanks for that. I’m not at all sure my kidlet would always agree with your sentiment. I have been known to be tough. I remember her saying to me in her younger years that she thought I expected too much of her. I did expect a lot of her, that is no lie. But it was clearly because I knew what she was capable of before she did. Moms are good at that stuff. I am understanding, always. Funny, sometimes. Wise, I haven’t a clue. But loving … endlessly. Appreciate you, Joan.

Suerae Stein - Oh Tammy, what can I say? You outdid yourself in wisdom this time! I am going to print this and save it and read it over and over again. There are life lessons in this post for all of us, even those 20 years older than your lovely daughter. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Mel Glenn - What a loving, warm, humorous letter to your daughter. (By the way, she’s gorgeous.). Would there be such a world where children freely accept the advice of a well-meaning parent. No matter what you say, or don’t say, they, in the words of Fleetwood Mac, have to “go their own way.” But I know Sweet Pea appreciates your love and concern; she just may not listen all the time.

Tammy - Hi Suerae, how very, very kind of you to say so. Posts that come from the heart are the easiest to write. They just flow onto the page all by themselves. This one, well, this one is full of heart. I’ve so very happy it spoke to you. Thank YOU for sharing!

Tammy - Hi Glenn, she is a cutie, isn’t she? I birthed that (bragging). You are correct, they absolutely must go their own way. Painful as it is to watch sometimes. She has a good head on her shoulders, a good heart in her body and a need for fairness that dictates her actions. Color me grateful….for so much. I always tease her that I want to be like her when I grow up. Any day now. SweetPea and I thank you for your gracious comment. I thank you for the loyal read.

Gill - Wow. This is a powerful piece. You managed to say everything I wish I could. I have a son, and I’m here to tell you that it is ALL applicable. A parents heart is hard to share. Looks like you’ve done a good job for all of us.

Kathy - This made cry. I have 2 daughters. One hasn’t spoken to me in years. A ridiculous falling out. I sent this to her and told her that it was everything I wanted to tell her but didn’t have the words. I hope that I hear from her. Thank you. I’m so glad I found your blog. I subscribed.

Joan Cooper - One more thing – I remember screaming at my Dad……’your world doesn’t exist anymore’….because he expected me to live like women lived in his day (not that I was anything like the way women live today!).

The generations do change. Unfortunately, we seem to be in a dark ages now with all the boundaries that came down and machines in our hands that get our attention more than the people around us.

We do have to be tolerant, but I think education needs rethinking.


Sharon - This is some incredible writing. I don’t know how you manage to put feelings into words so well. Seriously, its great. Your daughter is so beautiful. I think she is lucky to have a mom that obviously loves her beyond anything. Not all of us did. I really enjoyed this. Thanks.

Kitt Crescendo - I remember totally freaking out when I hit 28. The number sounded so OLD! Strangely, I find myself about to turn 40 and can’t help thinking I don’t feel old enough. LOL!

Tammy - Hi Gill, I would venture to guess that a mom is a mom is a mom. Whether to boys or girls, the heart is the same. I only have one point of reference since my little girl is my one and only. So appreciate the read and the kind comment!

Tammy - Hi Kathy, would it be nice of me to say that I’m glad I made you cry? Because I am. In the nicest way, of course. I’m very, very sorry to hear of your estrangement. I am familiar with the feeling, actually, but from a different standpoint. My kidlet and I are, and have always been, solid. At times we’ve had to work at it, but in the end, we love each other dearly. So very happy to have you on the other end of my blog. Warmest of welcomes!

Tammy - Hi Joan, love how you bounce back here when you remember something you forgot to say. Very endearing. Generations may change but I would like to think that unconditional love and acceptance would remain part of the parental landscape. Even with technology being what it is today, there is nothing quite like a sit down with one another to bring it all back into perspective.

Tammy - Hi Kit, oh yes, she is feeling completely over the hill. I’m thinking once she pasts 30, she will finally realize that she is the most awesome age of all. I’m with you…I’m about to turn 60 and I have convinced myself that I haven’t aged a year since my 40th birthday. Denial is a beautiful thing! Thanks ever so for the read and the lovely comment!

Tammy - Hi Sharon, I just write what I think. I’m grateful that it comes easy to me. Thanks for the compliment, my kidlet is adorable to be sure. But the real beauty is inside. You are right, not all of us had loving, doting mothers. It’s a shame. It should not be so. We see it all too often on the evening news. If only these mothers realized that the lives in their hands are the souls of the heavens and the future of the world. Parenting isn’t always easy, that’s for damn sure. But it is always worth it. So appreciate you being here. Thank you for that.

Charity Kountz - Oh Tammy, you made me cry! So beautiful! Reading it is bittersweet for me because I know mother would never write anything like that for me but I would for my daughter, who I love so much it hurts! So happy for you and she is so lucky to have you as her mother!

Tammy - Hi Charity, When our moms don’t love us unconditionally, it is a hurt that never seems to go away. Clearly we learn from it, and it is our daughters that will benefit from the lesson. You write to her so that she will have something to hold and keep, along with her memories, in her aging years. It is who we are now, what we have now. that truly matters. Happy to have made you cry, my friend, for the sake of your love of your child. Amen! Thank you for sharing that with me.

Ande Lyons - Oh Tammy… bless you and thank you for using your extraordinary way with words to beautifully express what so many parents feel and wish to say, but do not have your gift of eloquence and illumination with words.

I tried to leave a comment earlier… too many tears got in the way. Sloppy, joyful tears… reminding me how grateful I am to have a rich and fully engaged relationship with my two young men. As you said in the post… it hasn’t been easy, but it’s been good. Real good!

Your advice for Sweat Pea… across all the ripples of life… is the best I’ve ever read. Thank you for being the best of Moms.

As Auntie Mame would say (Rosalind Russell’s voice here): “Live Agnes, Live! Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.”

With big love and appreciation for you Sweet Mamma Tammy,


Tammy - Hi Ande, I LOVE sloppy, joyful tears! *sob* Being a mom has been the hardest job of my life. It’s also been the best damn job I’ve ever had. I am grateful every day for my little girl, and have only recently wondered what my life would have been like without her. I shudder to think that I would have missed out on 28 years of a boatload of happiness, laughter, tears, drama, long hugs and deep sighs. We are blessed, Ande, you and I. I am a huge, HUGE fan of Auntie Mame! No surprise there. Go big, or go home. An excellent way to think of living life. For me, I had a lovely lunch by the lake with my sweet pea today. I don’t think heaven could be better. Thank you for the kind words and the gracious review. I’m grateful to you for sharing your thoughts with me today. From one kicks ass mom to another … aren’t we awesome?!

Pamela O'Mack - Wow, Tammy, what a beautiful letter to your daughter. It is Laura’s birthday on the 20th and I feel the same way about her. Of course, it is always a bitter sweet day for me, wondering what it would be like to celebrate Lisa’s birthday too! However, I am so lucky to have a wonderful daughter, as you are, and to have them as such good friends at this stage in our lives. We are truly blessed! Lv, P

Tammy - Hi Pamela, aw, thanks for the kind review! You ARE so lucky to have Laura in your life. What happened to you, your family, is beyond tragic. I’m sure Laura wonders the very same thing when her birthday rolls around year after year. Her life was forever altered that night, as well. As they say “life is for the living”. A loss that tremendous is not something one can “get over”. You just try to get on with life. You are truly blessed, Pamela. Truly blessed. Never, ever think otherwise. And I am blessed to have you here. Thank you for that.

Ellen Dolgen - Tammy, this is so sweet! Your daughter is absolutely beautiful and very lucky to have a mother who loves her so much.

Janie Emaus - What can I say? Thoughtful, beautiful, heartfelt.

Tammy - Hi Ellen, appreciate you popping by, and thank you for the gracious compliment. We are both lucky, there is no doubt of that. Mother/daughter relationships have their strife. We have not been immune, but value the love and bond between us enough to never let it set up apart. Lots to be grateful for!

Tammy - Hi Janie why thank you so very much for the kind review! Very much appreciate you stopping by!

Joan Cooper - Right on Tammy, but that is just what we are in danger of loosing – totally.

We talk about a ‘global world’ …well that would have to start with ‘global education’ to overcome the insensitivity of learned patterns of conduct. As you have said – …women are still chattel in much of the world…and I also know that even animals and trees and flowers also have feelings, needs and they do recognize kindness and give love. ‘Far out’ you say. Maybe, but it is what living a long time has taught me. to be one with the best of the Universe…remember…we lost the Garden of Eden ( I for one do not believe it was over sex) ..will we lose the planet as well?


Maureen - Thanks again Tammy – beautiful!! I read this today and thought again about your post – it sure did go by quick!!

I won’t always cry, Mummy
when you leave the room,
And my supermarket tantrums
will end too soon.
I won’t always wake Daddy
for cuddles thru the night,
And one day you’ll miss
having a chocolate face to wipe.
You won’t always wake to find my foot
is kicking you out of bed,
Or find me lying sideways on your pillow
where you want to lay your head.
You won’t always have to carry me
in asleep from the car,
Or piggy-back me down the road
when my little legs can’t walk that far.
So cherish every cuddle,
Remember them all.
Because one day, Mummy
I won’t be this small.

Tammy - Hi Maureen, ooohhh, I LOVE this poem. Simply wonderful. Thanks ever so for sharing it with us! So very happy you enjoyed the read. Thrilled to have you here. Thrilled!

Jeff - Fantastic benediction. Anyone whose mom has the wherewithal to write that already has the necessary ballast to sail between the seas. Thanks for making your message public.

Tammy - Jeff, thank YOU for stopping by for the read and being kind enough to take the time to leave a comment. You have this bloggers appreciation! Sailing the seas is what I do best. It hasn’t always been that way, but experience is a tough teacher. Don’t we know it!?

Jeff - We do know it. It’s a deliriously happy struggle and your mixture of warmth and humanity and humor is just the ticket. Keep it up, Tammy! This all only happens the one time. We need more people like you who see the platinum in the everyday.

Tammy - Hi Jeff, your comment is so eloquent, so understanding. Thanks for that. And thank you for the kind review. I would say that YOU, my friend, hit the nail on the head. A lifelong deliriously happy struggle, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I remember crying at each of my daughter’s birthdays. My family thought I was ridiculous. It was a silent and teary welcome and farewell to the first and the last celebration of that age I would ever know from my child. Having only one, it was/is indeed a once in a lifetime thing. I learned how it was possible to be incredibly happy and quietly sad all at once. Life teaches us funny lessons. So very, very happy you are here. Thank you for sharing your comment with me.

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