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What do boobs and brains have in common?

I’ve been well endowed pretty much since the day I entered puberty. I haven’t always been thrilled about it, but by the time I was 14, I was a substantially curvy girl. Just like life, big breasts are a double-edged sword. When you’re young, men look at you for all the wrong reasons, and women […]

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Mel Glenn - I don’t know if I can speak as an expert on breasts, but despite the study you cite, I doubt there is much correlation between breast size and smarts, I.Q. related t genes, not cup size. For the reasons you give, society has blessed you with advantages, and I am sure your natural intelligence brought you to the top. If you had a choice between big breasts or small ones, which would you choose? Right.

Joan Cooper - Such a profound statement, Tammy!

What puzzles me is – why are men so attracted to big breasts? And they don’t even seem to care if they are surgically augmented.

I have a theory. Men run the world – let’s face it – they do run the planet. Yet, they are such children at heart. They are addicted and I mean ADDICTED to “power”. Are BB s power? Well, one thing for sure – they are the first out of cave food supply. Is it that prehistoric? BB s represent food with which to survive? But women had the same experience. They are not mesmerized by BB s. Well…..maybe a little envy. My own gratefulness and hope is that if there is reincarnation, I will have the same tight closing of the two and not that inch or more separation sometimes seen. Nice tight together cleavage.

You probably wish I would stop writing on your blog. I don’t blame you, but this is just what came to mind. Mind???


Tammy - Hi Mel, touché! I would opt for the fuller figure. But if you had asked me this same question when I was in my teens, well, the answer would have been different. Interestingly enough, the study cited that one of the reasons large breasted women were ‘smarter’ was because successful intelligent men naturally gravitate to them, thereby producing smarter offspring. Hmmm. Thanks for sharing your two cents. It’s always worth much more than that!

Frankie - Did you hear host Seth McFarlane’s song on the 2013 Oscars-“We saw your boobs”? I thought it was tasteless. Guess men will always be fascinated with them, regardless of size.

Ande Lyons - Dahling!

I la la LOVE this post!

It reminds me of the episode on Designing Women when petite Mary Jo wears trial breast implants to a bar… and exclaims “These things are *power*!”

Men are visual creatures who love hourglass figures… even my youngest at age 6 couldn’t stop looking at Wonder Woman!

Hourglass or stick figure… having a healthy, functioning, strong body and an active imagination is a blessing and all that really matters.

Besides, everyone knows: “it’s not the meat it’s the motion!”



Tammy - Hi Joan, gee, I don’t know what the fascination with larger breasts is, but clearly there is one. And a prejudice against many women who are well endowed. The silliness of mankind is never really understandable. I like your theory … maybe it does go back that far. I have always wanted to be seen as a ‘whole picture’ and not just cleavage. For a while I would never wear clothing that showed my cleavage and then one day I woke up and slapped myself around for it. Why not enjoy in the beauty God gave me? I don’t flaunt, but I don’t hide it either! I love that you always contribute here. Keep it coming!

Tammy - Hi Frankie, yes, I did hear that song and thought it was pretty funny. Not sure what that says about me, since I have heard from many that thought it was in poor taste. I stopped trying to please everyone a long time ago. I think you’re right … the fascination will continue. Thanks for sharing your two cents. Awesome!

Tammy - Hi Ande, I remember that show in particular. Funny stuff! Heck, I like looking at Wonder Woman. I appreciate nice breasts on a woman. Just like I appreciate beautiful legs, healthy hair and a bright smile. But as a woman, I’ve never made the mistake of seeing a beautiful fully blossomed woman and assumed that she was a dumb bunny. Oh, hell no! I’m way too smart for that. Do love your motto “it’s not the meat it’s the motion”. May be borrowing that from you, my friend! Thanks for the read and the post!

Malissa - hi girlfriend,
We have something more in common , I too was large breasted in school and there is nothing worse then the eyes on your chest when talking to a man, or boy. I hated mine with a passion nothing fit right , like you plenty of attention, if I had a name I never heard it. I don’t think the IQ thing made it to me I didn’t do well in school. That may have been other factors in my life growing up. Anyway I do hair for a living so I had back aches and trenches on my shoulders and was granted a breast reduction. Best thing I ever did and would do it again.
I still have enough to keep hubby happy. 🙂 . Sorry you got teased, rotten kids! Hang in there pun intended! Hugs

Jeffrey Davidson - Ah! The age old question, “Is bigger better?”

When it comes to female breasts it really becomes a matter of proportion and presentation for appearance. Peoples’ preferences have always varied with regards to size of anything. Some like large and some like small.

However, no matter what your preference for physical attributes, and I am a very visual person, nothing can take the place of a good personality, intellect, conversation, compassion and I could go on and on.

I have gone out with a few women who most people would think are very attractive and who were, shall we say, amply endowed. Nice to look at for a few minutes but it is the women’s character and everything else that goes along with it that makes for a lasting and meaningful relationship. Although they can be enhanced, looks typically do not last as long as all of the other important intangible qualities that make you who you are.

For me, I happen to like a fuller breast, however, having all of the other intangible qualities mentioned makes a woman far more desirable. I much prefer to have a relationship with a woman with a smaller breast size with whom I can converse, share, learn grow, etc.

That being said, on a lighter note, breast implants are now being manufactured with mpg players and speakers built in for women who always complain that men are always staring at their breasts but never listen to them!!

Tammy - Hi Malissa, yeah, rotten kids is right! Bullying comes in many forms, and make no mistake, what we endure in school helps to shape us. Glad to hear you had corrective surgery and alleviated your back and neck pain, especially with your occupation. Life is too short to suffer with that! Hanging in there as directed! Happy as always to have you here.

Tammy - Hi Jeffrey, well, you sound like a pretty solid guy. I understand preferences totally. I have mine as well. Like you, I don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. When someone walked into my life that was all the integral parts of a man that any woman could want, I paid attention. It mattered a lot less that he wasn’t as tall as I usually prefer, or perhaps as dynamic in manner as I was accustomed to. So happy I followed my instinct and not my preferences. I am a very happy girl because of it. Knowing what you like isn’t a bad thing. Disregarding what matters is. Happy for the both of us that we have our heads on straight. Not too sure about the mpg players in the boobs. Don’t think that would fly in my world! Love your humor and appreciate you being here!

Joan Cooper - To all the guys who wrote in – Z Gabor once said: “men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears”

I think she was right. It is how a man talks to a woman that fascinates her – not how he looks – short or tall or whatever.

Did anyone ever explore this issue scientifically? Just kidding.

Joan Cooper

Stacey Lorinn Joy - Wow, this hits home and not because I am a large-breasted woman, I am not. My best friend happened to have been the large-breasted girl in junior high and high school, leaving me to be in her shadow. I vividly recall the day she started wearing a bra! I was still in undershirts, not even a training bra at 13! Then came all the attention from the boys, and the men as you said, while I drifted far into the dark shadows around her big boobies! Oh well, I prayed for mine, got some that are actually average in size, and now I’m totally grateful. My best friend’s big beautiful breasts are now droopers that give her back aches, while mine are still relatively perky in comparison! LOL.
I am no longer worried about it, thank God, but I am now thinking that the IQ thing could be right. She is a big powerhouse at Sony, making twice my salary. She was always in advanced classes, was identified Gifted, and graduated from high school with honors and many accolades. For some reason, she was never perceived as the typical dumb, big breasted girl.
Hmmm. I may not have the IQ that she has, but I managed to do quite well as an educator, and now a self-published author. I have decided that we all have gifts, talents, sexy traits and attributes, but nothing is more powerful or meaningful than the impact we make on society. So if a big or small breasted woman can’t change the world for the better but happens to be the smartest in the bunch, what is it worth? Nothing to me, and nothing to our future generations.
Thank you Tammy! Time for a self-breast exam!! I love your thoughts!

Mark - It seems we all have something about us that we’d like to change, augment or fine tune and the teen years bring it gushing to the surface.
We step out of the comfort of home (siblings aside, because we know they still love us even though they treat us otherwise) and into the discomfort of raw judgement from our peers from every angle. Is it any wonder that self-improvement is the largest category on Amazon?
Somewhere in our later years we begin to uncover that sense that it’s okay to be who we are. The most satisfied people are usually those who begin their journey down that road before they’ve made too many alterations to the original product.
Enjoyable read, Tammy. TY.

Tammy - Hi Mark, boy, you sure hit that nail on the head. It has been in my later years that I am very comfortable with all that I am … and am not. Reality is far more pleasant than the pursuit of irrational expectations. Stepping out of our comfort zone plunges us into the realm of other peoples opinions. Often times, they leave us with a distorted view of our gifts and our being. You are so very right. I have to say, that many of those experiences helped to form the strength I draw on each and every day. So very happy you shared with me today. And so very happy to have you here.

Tammy - Hi Stacey Lorinn, well now, you have brought a whole new perspective to the topic. I also had a best friend during my high school years. We still see each other every couple of months or so. Many years after we graduated she shared much the same story you did here. It broke my heart to hear that she felt like “leftovers”. Kids are so tough on one another. It can all be so brutal, really. But in the big scheme of things, boobs are the least of anyone’s problems. Life has a way of toughening us up one way or another. We all have our cross to bear. I am very happy for you that you are happy with yourself, your life and your accomplishments. That, my dear, is epic. Thanks you for the read and for sharing.

Virginia Sullivan FirstClassWoman - Well done Tami- great article, and especially in light of your recent scare. I can relate to your comments about being younger and having to deal with being larger. It can bang up your self-esteem quite a bit. And now as an adult woman with GG size breasts, I catch myself in a mirror and still say “dang, how can you not notice them”.. And, I am finally thinking of a reduction. Not because of any thoughts of smart or not, or beautiful or not, but because my arms go numb from the weight on my running bra and my back is tweaked from being misaligned. And now that I’m facing it, I think I’m going to miss them. They are a part of me.

Mark - I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read thus far and look forward to having you visit my corner one of these days when you have the opportunity to come explore.

Tammy - Mark, appreciate the good review. Just visited your corner of the world and found it to be pretty awesome. Left you a comment and loved your post. You, sir, are a gifted writer with insight and heart. Consider me a fan.

Suerae Stein - Well, I guess I’m lucky that my husband is in the 17% minority, as I am not well endowed, although always wished I was. I would’ve had a hard time having any sympathy for any well-endowed girls getting too much attention. I always felt that those of us with a smaller frame had to work twice as hard to get noticed. And from your post, it sounds like we have to work twice as hard to get hired too!

I always wonder who comes up with these crazy studies, and who pays for them?

I have learned that there are benefits to a smaller frame, but certainly wouldn’t mind seeing how it would feel to be just a bit larger!

Tammy - Hi Suerae, I get you. Just remember, every blessing has it’s curse. I have no idea who comes up with these goofy studies. I wouldn’t mind having the job of conducting them and getting a hefty salary for doing it. That would be an awesome way to earn a buck. Your husband is a smart and lucky man…to know what he has and to appreciate the beauty it brings to his everyday. We well endowed girls might have gotten twice the attention but I guarantee you that most of us did not appreciate the majority of it. As I’ve learned, value comes in all sizes. Thanks for the read, Suerae, and more thanks for your sharing.

Tammy - Hi Virginia, they ARE a part of us, aren’t they?! Funny how we discover that when we are prepping to lose a part of them. I think you will be wildly happy for the reduction. The insurance company should pay for all of it due to the back, neck and arm pain caused by their weight. Keep enough to enjoy and you should be thrilled with the results. The weight of larger breasts is no laughing matter. Neither is trying to dress the double G’s you speak of. I can’t remember the last time I bought a Medium size top. All things considered, I know there are worse problems in this world to have, but dealing with this issue has taught me a lot more about people than I ever bargained for. Thanks for the read and for the post. I appreciate both!

Charity Kountz - Lol – leave it to you to take what would normally be a non-PC or inappropriate subject matter and not only talk about it well but include a positive, uplifting message to boot. You amaze me – you really do! And this is just one of many examples my friend. 🙂

Tammy - Charity, thanks, girl, for that kind review. Awesome! It is not a PC post, that’s for darn sure. But then again, I’m not exactly the most PC persona you’ll ever meet. Half the time when I say something I question myself in my head “was that my outside voice?”. Yup. So glad you enjoyed and thrilled to hear from you!

Hongdae Jin - I rember this saying “A skinny woman is like a racehorse: fast and fun, but no good for work.” [English, USA]

Are your best years behind or ahead of you?

From my point of view, I see 60 years coming up this summer. If my best years are behind me, I’m not sure I want to know it. As I delved into this subject, I was a bit nervous. Statistics can be brutal and I’m not above living in denial. And wasn’t it just yesterday […]

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Joan Cooper - Boy did I need you today!!!

It is wonderful how you express so cogently what I am thinking. I am way beyond you in the life experience, but I really do not know the answers. But then, even the highest paid people on the planet don’t either – you know – like Presidents and Kings and such.

My epitaph – Keep a fire in your heart and a smile in your eyes.


Suerae Stein - Very well written and very interesting statistics! I am at the youngish end of the baby-boomers and I hope the best is yet to come. I am just now realizing that life is more than working and raising a family. There’s a lot to learn/feel/overcome/enjoy, etc… This post comes at a time where I’ve heard at least 4 different people talk about how wonderful their golden years are. I guess I have a lot to look forward to! 🙂

Mel Glenn - You ARE better than you were because you know more, have experienced more, but in addition to that, you have confident, upbeat spirit that stands you in good stead. As Ringo Starr sang, “It don’t come easy,” and our accomplishments are hard-earned.
A very positive column, Tammy. I will try to remember all you’ve said because I will be 70 (!) in the spring.

Maureen - Just got an email that said “Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.” As always, very enjoyable read Tammy, Thank you!!

Sharon Westmoreland - Tammy, you’re timing is spot on as usual. Yesterday my doctor sent me a pre-physical questionnaire. When I finished it, I sent her an email saying that it felt like it was directed toward someone “old”. Not me. I couldn’t relate to all the questions for someone who was seriously declining in health both physically and mentally. Trenna recently referred to me as a tough old bird as I recover from multiple compound fractures I acquired from a fall off my horse. Like you, I ain’t going quietly that’s for #%^%*! sure!

Tammy - Hi Joan, you are such a delight! I’m not sure there are any secret answers to the aging dilemma, but if I find one, I’ll be sure to let you know. That is, after I’ve written a killer article on it and made a bazillion dollars from it! (Wishful thinking never hurt anyone) I love your epitaph and have very high hopes that you won’t be in need of it anytime soon. Thanks for being here and for your post.

Tammy - Hi Suerae, timing is everything … so they say. I must share with you that while I am not thrilled at the prospect of turning 60 (still in a state of shock, actually) I am enjoying my life like I never have before. I’m not rolling in money, I don’t have a villa in Italy and I can’t remember the last time I bought a piece of jewelry, but my every day is so content, challenging, meaningful and full of love. I am convinced that good things come with age. I hope to be reporting back to you in another 20 years…give or take. Thanks, Suerae for your post. So glad to have you here!

Tammy - Hi Mel, we are almost twinsies! Well…ten years apart. Phst! No big deal. When my positive attitude leaves me (and it does) my sarcastic sense of humor kicks in and always saves my day. As my daughter always says “mom, you could have a party all by yourself”. It’s a blessing and a curse. I welcome both. How will you be spending your 70th day of life? You must share it with me. Thanks for the kind review. Coming from you … it means a lot. One day, Mr. Glenn, we may actually meet in person. Stranger things have happened. Thanks for visiting and commenting. Appreciate it so!

Tammy - Hi Maureen, I’ve read that quote on many an email myself. I’ve always thought it was brilliant. So glad you enjoyed the read. More happy that you are on the other side of my blog! Thanks for the comment!

Tammy - Hi Sharon, there’s a LOT to be said for being feisty. I’m convinced that we can add years to our life just through sheer stubbornness. It’s worth a shot. A friend of mine referred to me as a tough old bird, at which point I looked her square in the eye and said “you mean I’m a feisty little filly, right?” she smiled nervously and nodded. Life demands toughness. Those who argue are doomed to regret their resistance. But once we learn, we also learn to go to our soft spot, our patient place and our content state of mind. Thank God! Aside from the body aches and pains, I’m loving this age already! SO HAPPY to see you here. Thanks ever so for the post!

Carol - Tammy, I always feel so inspired and super charged after reading your articles. You are so wise! Many thanks for the reading enjoyment, encouragement and statistics! Being smack in the middle of the baby boomer generation and in the process of reinventing my career (because I can ) I was so inspired reading this and have confirmation that I’m not alone and I’m on the right track. I’m keeping this by my side and will be rereading it everyday!

Tammy - Hi Carol, well, you made my day! Thanks for the kind review. No. You’re definitely NOT alone. I find a lot of comfort in knowing that I will soon be part of a majority. What is that saying … “misery loves company”? So does joy, achievement, challenge and gratification. Like everyone else, I have good and bad days. I am super grateful that these past years have produced more of the former. Cheering you on, Carol .. big time! Thanks for sharing and posting. So appreciate it!

Ande Lyons - DELICIOUS post Tammy!

I am so happy to declare I’m a Baby Boomer… and all the quirky, squirrely attributes that come with the Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll years.

I’m also the daughter of two very vibrant Greatest Generationers (is that word?). Mom and Dad are 89 and 90, respectively… and they’re constantly showing off. Jumping into the car and driving 12 hours to visit my younger sister. Volunteering here, there, and everywhere. I can never get them on the phone… they’re too busy! They ask me “Did you see Charlie Rose last night? What do you think about that tech guy’s prediction for Google?” Yup, they email, upload docs and photos, research everything online as well as hangout at the library. I’m exhausted just hearing about their day.

The example given to this Baby Boomer by her parents is always be curious, interest, and make sure your wear out, not rust out.

So I’m with you, Doll… we absolutely have our best years ahead of us. Yeee Haaaw! Ride ‘Em Cowgirl!



Tammy - Ande, I LOVE your parents. I’m exhausted after reading about their activities. Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Geesh, of course you do. I have NO doubt that you will follow suit. I also have no doubt that THESE are the times of our lives! And I now have full understanding of the phrase “if I knew then…what I know now”. Because, baby, I know a LOT! It’s going to be a grand run of it and I’m excited every day. Also excited knowing you are on the other side of my rationals, rants and ridiculous notions. Thank you for that!

Jenny - “No matter where you go, there you are”, I’ve seen this saying on notepads, picture frames, cards and I like it. I enjoyed being right here and reading your post. Yes sir-ee-Bob, it’s going to be a good day!!

Tammy - Jenny, yes, it IS going to be a good day! Wonderful to hear from you. So happy you enjoyed the read. I enjoyed the post!

Kellie - Maya Angelou
when I was younger I did what knew; now that I am older I do better because I know better.

Sharon Greenthal - Having just turned 51, I am at the tailend of the Boomer generation – but I am no less a member of the group. I am finding that this stage of my life – kids grown, a little money in the bank, free time – is proving to be the most creative, productive, and happiest in many ways. I’m not afraid of getting older – as long as I can continue to do the things that make my life meaningful, I’m happy – age be damned.

Tammy - Hi Sharon, age be damned is right! We should put that on a T-shirt! I’m with you, I don’t really care how old I am as long as I am healthy enough not to dread getting up in the morning and I feel good enough to do “my thing” whatever the heck that might be at the moment. Although, I must admit, 60 seems a bit unfathomable to me. I can’t imagine ever thinking of myself as old, and yet, here I am. So wonderful to have you here. Thank you for that…and for the lovely post1

Janie Emaus - I’m at the beginning or far end of the baby boomer generation. And life is only getting better.

Virginia Sullivan - I think the thing that’s so wonderful about being 56 at this time is that when I actually say my age to people- I’m amazed that I’m that age. It sounds weird but I don’t feel old at all. I still have work that’s important, I still run marathons and jump out of airplanes, I still get hit on by men in bars. It’s just that I do it with pictures of my 8 grandchildren in my purse! What a great time- you are absolutely right. It’s good that it always surprises me that i’m this old.

carrie tuhy - Hi Tammy,

Just found your blog through Gen Fab.
What a wonderful summary of our
unwieldy, unconforming generation. The
thing about turning 60–and I have–is that
you maybe part of the overanalyzed baby
boom generation but you uniquely
yourself and you can see yourself clearly and celebrate your eccentricities proudly.

Tammy - Hi Janie, amazing how that happens, isn’t it? Did you ever think you would be so wonderfully wise, patient and “all that”? I sure didn’t. And yet, here we are. Speaking of which, I’m so glad you are HERE! Thanks ever so, for the post.

Tammy - Hi Virginia, you run marathons and jump out of planes? Oh my! You are either my hero or a bit off your rocker. Haa! I vote for hero! LOVE that you pull your grandbaby pictures out at bars. I’m still laughing! I’m with you … it is shocking to hear myself say out loud the number of years I’ve lived. I often cock my head and mutter “what was that?”. Yup. Thanks for popping in and know that I appreciate your post!

Tammy - Hi Carrie, I just found GenFab myself and am super impressed with the talent and generosity that I’ve found there. Women that support women…what a concept! I DO celebrate my uniqueness and find myself happy pretty much every single day. As my daughter often tells me “mom, you are a party all by yourself”. And that’s a bad thing, how? Thanks for being here and especially…thanks for posting!

Ellen Dolgen - O M G! I can’t believe I just discovered your blog. I love your writing and POV. Reaching out is in! xo Ellen – I will be following you a lot. You can check out my blog where it’s the latest research on women’s health, aging and menopause.

Anne @GenFab - This feels like a manifesto. And I love it.

Chloe Jeffreys - Preach it, Sister! This will not be our grandmother’s aging. My grandmother was old at 50. I feel like life is just finally getting interesting.

Tammy - Hi Ellen, well you have ME excited to read your blog! LOVE, LOVE your enthusiasm … I want to go back and read my blog post again! But seriously, I am thrilled to be found by you…thrilled! Clearly we share a POV and a sense of humor. visit me randomly and often and you can be sure I will be visiting you! Thanks for stopping by and especially for posting!

Tammy - Hi Anne, now that you mention it … it DOES feel like a manifesto. Mine! Thanks for loving it. It would be fair to say that I love you for that! So happy to have you here. Hope you come back and visit again. Appreciate the post!

Tammy - Hi Chloe, (chuckle) you make me laugh. I am preaching to the choir I think. Do you remember Aunt Bee on the Andy Griffith Show? Her supposed age in that show was early 50’s. Yup! Can you imagine you or I wearing paisley/flowered moo-moos and pinning our gray hair in a bun while we wear orthopedic shoes? Yeah, I didn’t think so. The times … they are a changing! LOVE your line “life is just finally getting interesting”. I second that!! Glad to have you here….and grateful for the post!

Ellen Dolgen - What a great summary of the power of the 50+ females. I started almost half a decade ago to give the boomer women the health tools they need to thrive during these years because this is THEIR time! I shared this on FB too.

Tammy - Hi Ellen, so glad you enjoyed the read. Some powerful statistics speak on our behalf, that’s for sure. Checked out your site and have to save that I LOVE IT. Wonderful information and greatly needed. Kudos to you, my dear. Very happy you found your way here and so appreciate the post!

Ellen Dolgen - Thanks Tammy. Girl power to us all.

Mark - Love this! You obviously did a ton of research to put this together and it shows. It’s a very enjoyable read and reminds me of one of the final episodes from Season 5 of Boston Legal wherein John Larroquette & Betty White sue the television industry for ignoring the elderly with their programming. Good Stuff!

Tammy - Mark, oh, how I miss the gang from Boston Legal. So glad you enjoyed the read. And very happy you stopped in for a visit. There are so many stats on Boomers that it can make your head spin. Most of it is pretty positive, which came as a surprise to me. It seems the future is less bleak than what was predicted. Thank God for small favors. Appreciate the post and hope to see you back again!

Karen D. Austin - I agree that Boomers are redefining aging and commanding attention in larger society — as they have since the started shaping large cultural movements when they were young adults. I’m on the tail end, and it’s exciting to see late adulthood being redefined. There are still some real challenges for older adults, but I’m seeing some positive change for many.

Tammy - Hi Karen, We so agree! There is definitely power in numbers (thank God for small favors!). It is very exciting to see how ageing is being redefined. It seems that growing old is an ever changing landscape. Some of it encouraging and some, not so much. So happy to hear from you. Appreciate the read and the post!

Does memory serve you right?

Scientists have proven that the human brain starts remembering in the womb. Really? That’s weird, because as hard as I try, my first memory comes when I was about four. I figure that’s okay since I probably didn’t learn anything I could use in a world where I wasn’t floating naked in fluid. When we […]

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Joan Cooper - You always make the day more pleasant, Tammy.

They say also that in the end – all we have are memories.

I have always said, we need to stop teaching myths and deal with reality – well – I am now reaching a point in advanced age, to realize that the myths are to soften the blows of reality.

Treat the memories with lightheartedness and acceptance that we have really lived.


Mel Glenn - A lovely ode to memory. (Of course, I just forgot what I said.) Seriously, a nice column that shows the importance of memory, good and bad. You would think it would help us avoid mistakes we’ve made; perhaps, but won’t we just make new ones?
I find I tend to romanticize the past, coating my memories with a rose-colored gloss.

Jeffrey Davidson - Well, as always, you have a warm and lighthearted way of presenting different topics. True to form, you presented this one in a similar manner. What I like best was… Wait a minute; I forgot what I was writing about! How soon we forget.

I do remember that remembering can be difficult but often times it reminds us of how much we loved and that is beautiful. We remember the pain so that perhaps we can avoid it in the future and that too is good.

I remember when I met you and knew that I would share some good memories with you.

So, please don’t forget all of those wonderful memories that shaped the person you are today. Then, from a selfish point of view, I’ll be able to continue reading more of whatever it is that you write about.

I just wish I could remember!

Tammy - Hi Mel, I too tend to remember the past through rose colored glasses. It’s often a blessing. Mistakes are how we learn success. Success in love, business, relationships. I’m a big fan of mistakes and remembering what they taught me. Not so much for the pain they caused. Separating the two is not easy but well worth the effort. Thanks so much for your post! It’s awesome having you here.

Tammy - Hi Joan, Thanks so much for that very lovely compliment! I like your take on this subject. These days I do indeed treat my memories with a bit of reverence and humor, not to mention … a grain of salt. Thanks for the read, Joan, and the post! You also make my day more pleasant!

Tammy - Hi Jeff, We are nothing without our collected memories of our life lived. You are right there. I actually think that our memory of a given event of twenty years past has somehow shaped how we view ourselves today. Weird, but in a good way. Being open is the key. Being brave enough to do something again even though it hurt the first time is the wonder. So appreciate the read and so happy to have you here!

Maureen - So well written! I love the feelings and pictures your words paint. And it brought up a memory of something my mom always used to say – “If wishes were horses then beggars would ride; if turnips were watches I’d wear one by my side.” Always makes me smile.
Thanks Tammy!

Tammy - Hi Maureen, what a very sweet sentiment. Makes me smile with you. Thanks for sharing that, and thanks ever so for being here!

Gary Jordan - Tammy,
Although I have always enjoyed reading your post, I think this is one of your best. Very thought provoking. Good work!

Rick - Emerge from it “vanquished”? As in utterly destroyed?

Tammy - Hi Rick, no, as in “Vanquished – to overcome or subdue an emotion or feeling.” Funny how that word can be used in a different context. To be subdued and overcome by life and love is not a bad thing to have happen. I know lots of peeps that don’t even appear affected by life one way or the other. I’d much rather feel life hit me in the face (ouch!). I’m not above appreciating being sometimes thrown to the ground by life’s ups and downs. It’s in the getting back up that I prove myself worthy of the experience. I’m not saying I’ve always enjoyed the encounter, but it sure does make for a hell of a ride! Thanks for popping in!

Tammy - Hi Gary, so happy you thought so. Nice to know you are still on the other end of my weekly rants. Have not heard from you in a dog’s age. I always love it when my readers speak up. Thanks for that!!

cheryl - Wow———–this is a good one———-makes me think!!!!!!!!!

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, glad you enjoyed. Making you think is the point. Awesome! Thanks for stopping in and saying hello, so very happy to have you here!

And the children will lead the way …

Prepare to either love me … or hate me. What else is new? These past several days following the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, have been heart wrenching to say the least. The coverage has left me sick to my stomach and dazed and confused as to how these massacres keep happening. The pain, the outrage, […]

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Mel Glenn - Though I can’t see anyone belonging to the NRA, your opinions are most reasonable. The time to banish high-powered weapons should have been done years ago. But all the bans in the world cannot stop the crazy person from coming to the fore. But, as Obama said, the fact that you can’t do everything, doesn’t mean you give up trying something.

Tammy - Mel, you (and Obama) are so very right. We, as a nation, as a people, as parents MUST, at the very least, try! I have not supported the NRA for many years for many reasons. Let us hope that we all pull together in our attempt to stop the insanity. Thanks, Mel, for sharing. So love hearing from you!

Liz - Well said Tammy….my heart is still crying over the senseless deaths of those beautiful children, and for the very brave faculty and staff who gave up their lives trying to protect their babies. So many families have had their worlds turned upside down….never to be the same again. The Newton community have a lot of healing to do….so much pain. Something has to change and soon!

Tammy - Hi Liz, it seems this has touched us and put us beyond the limit of tolerance. As a parent, I can’t imagine ever getting over the loss. The best I could hope for would be to get past it. It is time for the American people to take a stand. You are SO RIGHT, something has to change soon! So very happy to have you here and thank you for your post!

Jeffrey Davidson - WOW! Where do I begin?

I am not a parent so I can only speak from my heart. We must put our children first and then ourselves. That is nature’s way. It is very emotional and difficult for me to think about the children, and adults, in Newtown without tears coming to my eyes.

I too believe in the Second Amendment and own a revolver, pistol and shotgun. They are for both protection and target practice – you couldn’t pay me to hunt!

Our forefathers would have no way of knowing what an automatic weapon would be like or its capabilities. Assault weapons are designed for one thing and one thing only, killing. They belong only in the hands of trained military and law enforcement officials. Contrary to the ranting’s of a past NRA president, Charleston Heston (and others like him) when asked if assault weapons should be outlawed, his non-responsive answer was “I love America.”

There are few laws not already enacted that are necessary to help curb the atrocious violence that we are experiencing against our children, spouses, animals and just each other. I do not claim to have “the” answers; however, I do have some suggestions.

1. Outlaw assault weapons
2. All guns must be registered
3. All felons cannot purchase or legally own a gun, parole violation etc.
4. Background checks required for all gun purchases including gun shows – currently not required
5. Guns may not be sold privately or at gun shows without proper registration etc.
6. Sellers of “Saturday Night Specials” get mandatory long term prison sentences
7. All crimes committed with a gun require mandatory prison sentences without the possibility of parole

I have no fear of my Second Amendment rights being violated since I have no intention of using my weapons illegally, and, therefore, am not worried that the government and law enforcement agencies know that I own them.

There has been an ongoing debate about guns killing people. Unfortunately so do knives, ropes, rocks, sticks, shovels, bats, pipes and the list goes on and on. Shout we abolish baseball and make bats illegal? Get rid of eating and cooking utensils? Plumbing supplies? Etc.?

Of course not! It is the people who use them.

Education helps. Awareness by family, friends and acquaintances of any unusual behavior and making the proper authorities aware. Authorities being better trained and not casting aside reports as meaningless or as “there is nothing we can do until there is a crime!”

I have often said, in my no-professional opinion, that anyone who wantonly kills, maims harms or destroys the life or well-being of others is emotionally disturbed. Without a particular diagnosis, these individuals need to be removed from society whether it is prison or a mental facility.
When people and politician complain we don’t have the money, think of the cost to not provide the protection. Give up the waste in government spending, the waste in bureaucracy and you will be amazed at all the money that is available. Set some reasonable priorities.

This is NOT and should NOT be a political debate, but rather a human issue that we come together to solve for the betterment of mankind.

I too am an American and love my country!

Tammy - Hi Jeff, all very good points. Of course it is the people who do the killing. But it certainly does not erase the fact that allowing access to a semi-automatic assault rifle enables massive bloodshed in mere seconds. NOT okay. Some of the laws you proposed already exist. As you know, not all laws are followed or imposed. When our forefathers spoke of the right to bear arms, they were of course speaking of muskets. How could they know how uncivilized our civilization would become? I agree with many of your ideas and would hope that others would consider the fact that this subject is not political party based but steeped in the need for humanity and our call to protect it. As always, it’s such a pleasure to hear from you. Thanks for your post!

Joan Cooper - There have been 13 mass murders in just one year here in the U.S.

How do you like that statistic. I am sure the people who gave the “right to bear arms” did not have this in mind.

Military or even modified military weapons should never never never be in the hands of ordinary people. One expert said that the principal should have been carrying a gun instead of ‘lunging’ at the boy-killer. Well, with the weapon he had even a gun would be no protection. No one had a chance – because of the weapon.

Money money money – the gun lobby the entertainment (?) violence etc etc. Greed is all.

Joan Cooper

Tammy - Hi Joan, money and greed do indeed have a lot to do with our current state of affairs. I hope there will soon be a change in the tide. One of my readers sent me a private email suggesting that the schools employ retired military service men, fully armed and equipped, to guard each facility each day. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Up front the idea seems plausible, but as you delve into the notion, it also is wrought with potential dangers and difficulties. It feels as though our nation is being held hostage to our freedoms…and we are being killed off as a result. Thanks for sharing…so happy to have you here. Is it me or is it starting to feel a lot UNLIKE Christmas?!

Kellie - I too absolutely believe in the right to bear arms. I also have NO issues with anyone as a member of The NRA we all should have learned a lesson from the confrontation comedian Rosie O’Donnell decided to have on national TV with Actor Tom Selleck years ago after Columbine. To Mr. Sellecks credit he handled the moment with total class…un like Ms. O’Donnell. while I agree there is no reason I can see why someone should have a semiautomatic there needs to be restrictions regarding this gun. We also need to address the mental health issues of our kids who are being over prescribed meds for ADD to so called Autism. While stats showed there was not any improvement on killings from the 10 year band on semi-automatic weapons (as discussed on the Don Imus show this morning, many issues need to be looked at and delt with….fast. I applaud a reporter who was in Obama’s face today at his press conference asking him”where have you been the past 4 years on this issue Mr. President ..MIA?” You talk big but nothing has been address since you have been elected 4 years ago…now you are paying attention?

Tammy - Hi Kellie, I get where you are coming from, but for me, I am way past thinking about the O’Donnell/Selleck incident. Nor do I trouble myself with what Obama did or didn’t do. For me it’s absolutely about NOW and the FUTURE. I want to know what will be done from this day forward. Period. I am sick of being a part of the blame game. I want to be part of the solution movement. No! No citizen, no hunter, no one should have access to a rapid fire assault weapon. The idea is ludicrous. And that comes from a second amendment gun toting woman. I can share with you, unequivocally, that I will firmly hold this President responsible for some action forward on banning these weapons. Just as I will hold my Congress and local state. WE are the people. Not a heavy handed organization such as the NRA. In a democracy, the majority should rule. And over 67% of the people of this country do not want these weapons in the hands of civilians. Let us watch and see how it all plays out. Every voice counts, every opinion matters. I thank you for sharing yours!!

Joan Cooper - If you feel “unlike christmas”, think what it would be like to live where there are funerals every day.

As one parent said – ‘…I don’t want my child to go to school in a fortress…’

What is the answer ?????

Joan Cooper - Well well well – today I hear on the news that the mother of the shooter is not listed as a victim. Now they are putting all the blame on her. Guess what is behind this? I will bet you a million dollars it is the gun advocates that are not going to give an inch.

Joan Cooper

Maureen - Well said Tammy. I absolutely support the 2nd amendment. I understand target practice, I understand hunting. What I don’t get is assault guns; they have no place in either activity, and cannot imagine why this mother needed this type of weapon in her home. Parents, please — lock up your guns. Use a gun safe. Lock the ammunition in a separate location. Lock the keys in a third location. Do not tell your children where the keys are kept. If you want guns, accept the responsibility that goes with them. It’s not about teaching children respect for a weapon, it’s about teaching them respect for life.

Tammy - Hi Maureen, wow, my dear, you sure said a mouthful. It is absolutely about respect for life vs. respect for a weapon. From your mouth to God’s ears! And still the debate continues, with the NRA assuming no stance to help mitigate the distribution of these assault weapons. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out. It just may be (hoping) that their money, which buys their power may not hold up against the will of the majority of Americans. Thank you for the sharing of your voice of reason. It is much needed today. So very happy to have you here!

The Twinkie Syndrome

Was it corporate greed or union standoffs that brought the mighty Hostess empire to its knees, and should you care? You bet your Bippy you should! (Damn, I just dated myself there, didn’t I?) Prepare to be shocked, awed … and disgusted. When we first heard about the standoff between the bakers union and the […]

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mercyn - Great summary of the Hostess debacle…My claim to fame is that I was in the audience of the Howdy Doody show once!

Tammy - Hi Mercyn, what?! You were? That is awesome!!! Color me jealous. I bet you had Twinkies in your house! Thanks for the read and the post!

Mel Glenn - I fear you are Don Quixote whose Twinkie is at the end of the lance. Though not a fan of these treats, I applaud your effort to right the terrible wrong. We still live in a culture where “greed is good,” and am mired in the philosophy of “I-got-mine-screw- you.” A pity. I will go into the corner and eat a cupcake.

Joan Cooper - You are better than the News!

Yes, we are in decline – fater and faster.

Not only have morals decayed and boundaries disappeared, our wonderful American business world has collapsed and that is the cornerstone of our whole country – along with home ownership.

As you indicate – people taking enormous salaries (Wash. DC for example) really could not run a peanut stand.

How very sad. Every nation that has ever existed, died when its’ money ran out. They could not pay off the hostile forces any longer. Sound familiar? Why or why do we give away billions to dollars to other countries? I heard one report of the US payoff to both Israel and Hamas in the recent ‘cease fire’. Only one.

What can we do?

Joan Cooper

Tammy - Hi Mel, I’m afraid it will take much more than this to right this wrong. Sad. It seems to have become a rampant pattern. Not awesome. I agree that we live in a greed culture society, but I’m still holding on to the hope that it is present in the minority. As we both know…the majority always wins. So appreciate you being here and thank you for the post!

Rick Gualtieri - Agreed on a lot of this. Saw it happen first hand not too long ago. A company I worked for, which had a long history within its industry, was bought out by a capital management firm. Within a few months the family environment was gone, replaced by a bunch of corporate suits who cared for nothing but squeezing pennies from the bottom line. I finally decided to leave before they could show me the door.

Tammy - Hi Joan, I do believe that we have run up against the wall with our greed as a nation. Interesting outlook you have; that nations cease to exist when they no longer have the funds to keep hostile forces at bay. Let us hope not. I’m not sure what we can do, other than to stand and speak for what is right. And not stand for the things we know to be corrupt and wrong. It sounds so simplistic and cutesy, but I think it is everything but that. Thanks for sharing with me today…and always.

Tammy - Hi Rick, wow, that’s quite a sad testament. Do you think it is what our future holds as a country? Or do you think things can be turned around? It is such a death trap to the American way of life. It saddens me to no end that corporations/companies care pity little about the people whose backs they break to earn a profit. I’m happy that you saw the writing on the wall and made your escape. Surely it would not have ended well for you otherwise. I’m such a sassy broad and usually have an answer for everything (not necessarily the right one), but this time I am simply in a pissed off state and nothing comes to mind. Very grateful for your sharing and always wonderful to have you here! Thanks for that!

Rick Gualtieri - Nature and business abhors a vacuum. This crap usually happens during buyouts and such. There will always be new players entering the ecomomy to take over from those who have failed. Those are where the future lies, assuming the mega corps don’t drive the economy totally into the toilet first.

Jeffrey Davidson - Well, this is one time where I both agree and disagree with you on some points. Perhaps it is the way in which interpret the information available.

Without a doubt, the “management team,” (if you can call it that), has made a royal mess of things using archaic systems, generally poor management, paying themselves too much, etc.

On the other hand, where most unions had a necessary place in the industrial revolution, they also caused the demise of many well run companies by unfairly demanding too much.

Let’s stick with Hostess.

In a court filing, the snack maker estimated that as of June 2, it had assets of $1 billion and liabilities of $2.5 billion, “which figure includes over $1 billion in pension and MEPP liabilities.”
Hostess is no stranger to debt. Interstate left bankruptcy in early 2009 with more debt than when it went in. Its exit strategy included long-term debt totaling about $670 million.
With interest and additional borrowings, that figure swelled to $861 million by the time Hostess landed in bankruptcy court this year.
Another source shows $50-$60 million outstanding to trade creditors; $36 million in lease obligations; $180 million in accrued workers’ compensation liabilities; $75 million in debtor-in-possession loan; $850 million of secured debt outstanding.

But even General Motors, Ford Motor, and others that are significantly larger did not have debt anywhere near $860 billion which is shy of one trillion dollars.

Rather than developing new products which would be more marketable, priced for higher margin and provide growth that covered all costs, Hostess leadership kept trying to financial engineer a solution to make their horse and buggy competitive with automobiles.
And when they failed, management decided to scapegoat someone else. Maybe eating too many Twinkies made them do it. It’s a Wonder the Ding Dongs running the company kept this Honey Bun alive by convincing HoHos to loan it money! Blaming the unions is simply an inability of management to take responsibility for a complete failure to understand the marketplace, trends and the absolute requirement for new products.
Businesses can adapt to trends. It is possible to stop the never-ending chase for lower costs and better efficiency, and instead invest in new products that meet emerging needs at higher margins. Like the famous turnarounds at IBM and Apple, it is possible for leadership to change the company.

But for too many leadership teams, it’s a lot easier to blame it on the Twinkies. Unfortunately, when that happens everyone loses.

As for the unions, over the recent years, it appears they have made far more concessions than have the poor management teams at Hostess. However, there are so many examples of the unions demanding so much that R&D suffers, investment into infrastructure suffers and in many cases, in a last ditch effort, they say go ahead and shut down so that we will all be out of work rather than take less and make something.

Granted, that in the Hostess debacle there would need to be some guarantees regarding change in management and having their salaries tied closely to the profitability of the company.

I am quick to state that I have neither the background nor expertise to offer a solution but there needs to be “accountability” compromise on both sides.

You are absolutely correct with your criticism of the greed and waste of management and what may be and unfortunate trend. Thanks for pointing it out again to help make more people aware.

Now, with regards to Howdy Doody and the kids in the Peanut Gallery, with Phinius T. Bluster, Flub-A-Dub, Chief Thunderthud, Clarabel (Bob Keeshan – Captain Kangaroo), Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring and Buffalo Bob Smith, I don’t remember any of that!

As always you present your views in a manner which invites debate and promotes thought, and, agree or disagree, I enjoy reading your blog and would never discontinue reading it because you and I may have some difference of opinion or a complete difference of opinion on any given topic.

Keep up the great work!

Charity Kountz - When the 2008 recession came, I thought at the time, we simply have to get our acts together in business, ethics and as a country. I’m sad to say I realized at the time our Constitution was put together, it was put together by passionate, ethical men looking out for the greater good. Sadly, those days of insight, drive and service to others seems to have disappeared almost entirely. While there are still many who attempt and even succeed to do the right thing, greed seems to be winning the day(s) and the many battles. I haven’t given up hope yet in humanity but it’s sure dwindling fast. This is just one more example that makes me wonder how those people manage to sleep at night. Very sad.

Jack Twinkie - What really happened was the greedy unions were trying to call the shots when Hostess Inc has shareholders to respond to not spread wealth.

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