
For those of us who have reached maturity (I’m still waiting), and have had to start life over (yet again), admitting that we are less than what we once were, is humbling. Slightly used and damaged can pretty much describe almost everything in my house … including me. When I entered into a relationship with […]
Susan Smart - And, happy new year to you, my dearest friend. I have thought about you so much these past few months. You both have had many
trials, but this is a new year, with new beginning’s, and I have
great hope that you both will come out on top ! With a smile
and sweet dreams, we all might find out that there is truly
goodness waiting for each of us. I am not so sure about the
world, but we must never lose faith in that,too. Email and let
me know the latest. Love you bunches.
Tammy - Susan, this WAS a year I was eager to leave behind! Just makes me look forward to what lie ahead with even more vigor. Coming out on top is the plan. Fingers crossed. Also plan on seeing you again…..keep that guest suite warm and tell Cassie I’m coming. Love you ever so much!
Joan Cooper - Humerous as always. You mirror what we all feel. The details may be different but the result about the same.
I keep asking myself – what is it all about ??? Still have no answer.
Keep smiling in your own special way. So happy you and Steven are happy together. It was a long haul for him too.
Suerae Stein - Happy New Year to you, dear Tammy! I hope that you are recovered and ready to start anew. I wish you all the best that 2015 has to offer. You are an inspiration to me!
Tammy - I’m not at all sure there are any answers, Joan. But if I stumble over any, I’ll share them with you. Yes, Steven waited over 40y years for the “right” person. Happy to know it was me all along. Happy New Year, my friend.
Tammy - Suerae, I am a work in progress (understatement of the year). I wish the best for you too, my friend. If deserving good things meant it would come true, life would be fair. Instead, we work, plan, hope and pray. And we share our struggles and triumphs. Kind of awesome when you think about it. And you, are an inspiration to ME. Happy New Year!
Donna Highfill - Tammy – I love your honesty. And I can absolutely empathize with how you feel. I finally have realized that perhaps our sense of “what’s it all about” is exactly what we should be asking. Right before my dad passed away at 63 years of age, he said, “See all of my degrees? They mean nothing. The car I drive? Means nothing. Be kind to people, Donna. Smile at them, open doors, help them. That’s it.” I’m starting to think he’s right. Perhaps we make everything a little too complicated.
mel glenn - Dear Tammy,
What I like best about your column (s) is despite what mistakes were made, no matter how bruised you are, you pop up like a cork with a most POSITIVE attitude, (which is everything), the glass full/empty sort of thing. We are all slightly used, hopefully not damaged too much.
Chloe Jeffreys - You have such a way with words. I feel like I’ve been through the ringer in this part year. Everything I always feared was true about women, but never allowed myself to risk, turned out to be true. Now I’m left wondering if I’ll ever trust again. Trust myself. Trust others. Fuck, I don’t know. What the hell are we supposed to be learning here anyway? I love my unconventional life and yet I am changed in ways I don’t understand. Maybe by 60 I’ll have it worked out. But in the meantime I’m flag you wrote this. I feel just a little less alone.
Tana Bevan - Tammy~Those whom call you friend (and have you call them friend) are very lucky individuals. Once again you’ve shown you are a woman to be admired. And admire you I do. Touche’ Tammy Bleck, Touche.
Maureen Musgrave Armentrout - Happy New Year! As always, a great read, hits the nail right on the head!!
Tammy - Hi Mel, happy new year to you! My aunt always tells me that I’m like a cat, meaning I have 9 lives. I do always come up for more. More trying, more experimenting, more risking. Just more. My glass isn’t always half full, but it’s no lie that I feel very fortunate most of my days. I think it comes from starting from the bottom and appreciating anything that is better than that. So wonderful to hear from you. Be well and stay warm!
Tammy - Hi Chloe, trust me, there is no magic answer when you hit 60. I’m still waiting. Figuring things out is exhausting. I’m beginning to believe that there are no real answers to hurt, trust, love and pain. It’s all on our shoulders to work it through. Harsh. I know you’ve had a tough year. I’m betting your were just as happy to see 2014 out the door as I was. No. You are not alone. You are in excellent company. Happy to be among it.
Tammy - Hi Tana, gee, seems like ages. Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m not at all sure I am to be admired. Jury is still out, I think. I’m just a girl working it through. Relentless is a hard thing to keep up, but it is required of us if we are to get where we want to go. Still, I found that if you bow out for a while, the sun still rises, the problems are still there and it all waits for you to come back. Hope all is well on your side of the fence. Hopping over to your blog to pay you a long overdue visit!
Helene Cohen Bludman - You are strong and funny — forget about the damaged part. We are all reinventing ourselves to some extent at this age, and I have every confidence that you will find something new and wonderful around the corner.
jamie@southmainmuse - Happy New Year! Sounds like you have wonderful changes in store. And yes. In my opinion, one of the major benefits of aging is learning from things we don’t ever want to do again. Each moment is precious. Whether uncomfortable or not.
Tammy - AMEN to that, Jamie! Thanks for being here. Awesome!
Carol Cassara - This post is wonderful. I can feel your joy at life and also your frustration with the sit-still. I love you, girl, I do!
Susan Melchiori - You posted this on a day that I really needed it. You make me stop and think about what is important. Thank you.
Lisa Carpenter - That’s such a fine response from your fiance on being damaged. So very true… and kind. I, like you, have trouble relaxing fully. I need to slow down and savor the moments. Thank you for the inspiration.
Myrna Alpern - Hi Tammy, – You resonate with so many people, again ! Since I’m older and not necessarily smarter, I learned the value of what your saying when disasters occur. Why do the truly important things in life always are learned through adversity. Where is that written? I want to see what I missed by skipping to the end of the “Book of Knowledge”. Yes, sweetheart, your right, but at least we got the message. Forget, climbing the ladder of success and keeping up with everyone else’s priorities. Our NEEDS are truly very simple as opposed to our WANTS. Let’s keep it simple and you obviously have gotten the message too. Love you
Cathy Chester - If life was only sweet we’d never feel it’s sweetness. Only through adversity do we learn the goodness in our lives. You are doing great, Tammy, and it shows in this post. You have wonderful changes happening, so embrace the moment and revel in it. You deserve it.
Lois Alter Mark - Amen. Your fiance’s response was absolutely perfect – and so true. And I am laughing so hard at that photo. I can totally relate.
Tammy - I am totally embracing all that comes to me this year, Cathy. Last year I did the same but truth be told, right about October I was spent. Completely depleted of the energy I needed to go through the things I needed to endure. But I persevered and have come out the other side of the tunnel. Not going to lie, won’t miss 2015! Happy to have you here. Thanks for that!
Nancy Hill - I think we are alike in that we cannot be still. When I slow down physically I speed up mentally and visa versa. Used and damaged… just means we do stuff and take risks…. Love it.
Debi @MomOnMars - This reminds me of the Velveteen rabbit. Slightly used and damaged is what makes us alive. It shows that we loved and are loved.
Jeanne Reddick - Nice blog. Nice outlook. Hope your tootsie and your Steven are doing well.
Tammy - Hi Debi, I am one of the very few who have never read the Velveteen Rabbit. That is about to change It IS what reminds us that we lived, dared, loved and were/are loved. I adore that outlook! Thanks so much for being here and sharing!
Tammy - Hi Jeanne! So happy to hear from you and so glad you enjoyed the read. The tootsie is slow in getting up to speed. One day at a time. Steven is recuperating well and all is as it should be. That being said, would like NEVER to do that again! Paris next year?
Sisters From Another Mister - Maybe we should go with gently used 😉
Happy to see a new year roll in … thinking only good things!
Michele - Tammy, I enjoy your blog so much! Your topics are always so timely and this one in particular resonates with my own life. Navigating the waters of change is quite an interesting mixture of fear and excitement. Strange to have those two emotions cohabitating in my brain simultaneously. Thank you for your reassuring words that not only will we survive, we will thrive! Best to you!
Tammy - I LOVE “gently used”, Sisters! Good thoughts from this end too for a happy, peaceful and prosperous year. From my mouth … to Gods ears! Thanks for the read and the comment.
Tammy - Hi Michele, so happy to hear it, thank you! You’ve put it very well; navigating change IS an interesting mix of fear and excitement. It seems that mid life often presents those two emotions hand in hand. Aren’t we the lucky ones?! Very best to YOU, my friend. So very happy to know you are on the other side of my blog. Thank you for that.
Lee Lefton - I think damaged is way overstating things. You’re about the last person in the world I’d call ‘damaged goods.’
On a much more positive note, I couldn’t wait for the Helms truck either. There was a young man in the neighborhood who asked the driver for a doughnut one day, then ran into his house without paying. When the driver rang the door, the boy’s mother told him her son was developmentally disabled. Every day from then on, the driver gave the young man a free doughnut.
I also have fond memories of the Good Humor Man. I can still sing the tune that announced when the truck was coming.
Boy, I sure do miss those days!
Andrea Beltrami - FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC post Tammy! What a breath of fresh air and a welcome change from the stale goal oriented posts that litter January. Here’s to celebrating the used and damaged things and people in life, including ourselves! At the end of the day that’s the sh*t that really matters. Kudos for the raw and shamefully honest inspiration lady! ;)….And h/t to Ande Lyons for sharing this on G+ so I could discover it. {high fives to both}
T.O. Weller - Tammy, thank you for sharing this story at just the right time. I was just joking with my mechanic yesterday that my 10 year old car and I are both in the same boat: a little used and damaged.
He chuckled. I chuckled. But it’s the truth … and that’s not always a bad thing. Really, if I wasn’t at this point, I’d be asking whether I’d really lived.
Tammy - So pleased to have you here, T.O. I love your outlook! You are right, of course, if we weren’t slightly used and damaged, we surely would have missed out on way too many of life’s adventures. After all, playing is safe never reaped any rewards worth having.
Melanie Kissell - I just keep throwing gutter balls, Tammy, but I’m staying in my lane. 🙂
This post is a bit spooky — sounds a hell of a lot like MY life. LOL