This Fourth of July, I am exercising my freedom. Not from the British, my ex-husband or the band of gypsies that would abscond with my womanhood (you’re way too late). I’m going for the gold. I want to claim a life without cat vomit on my desk in the mornings, random dog pee, plants that […]
Witty Woman Writing
Tammy Bleck is Witty Woman Writing
Wouldn’t it be great if our kids remembered every single thing we’ve ever done for them? Every changed diaper, cleaned up puke, boo-boo kissed. Because if they did, they’d think we were Gods!
My excuse whenever I get caught sitting there with my youngest while there’s some horrific monster movie on the screen “I never claimed to be a good role model”.
And I’m sticking to that. 🙂
Well said, Tammy . And, to Amanda Leigh, happy birthday. Guess you both have
Beautifully written Tammy!
Tammy~A few days ago my 20-something darlin’ called. We spent close to an hour on the phone, with her filling me in on the latest in her life. While I recall the things I did wrong & wasn’t able to do for her, she seems to have a far different perspective. During our conversation, she thanked me for being there for her, believing in her, supporting her, loving her unconditionally. Just thinking about all the kind & loving words she said — and the love behind them — brings tears to my eyes. Tammy, you may be imperfect, but I’m willing to bet that in your daughter’s eyes, you’re the most WONDERFULLY, PERFECTLY imperfect mother she could ever have. Hugs my friend. Enjoy your darlin’, cuz no matter the awesome woman she is and continues to be, you’re right, she’ll always be your baby.
I forgot who said it, but the line goes, “90% of life is showing up,” but it sounds like you made all the right moves. We are haunted by the specter of our parents’ omissions, and we try to do better. The hardest part of parenting is letting go. No matter how old they are, they are still your kids.
I love this: As a mom I became a warrior. Yup, we all do (did) the best we can. Sometimes it’s enough. Sometimes it isn’t. But they all seem to survive, and even thrive. I often say (and only half joking) that my daughters are awesome because of my husband, and in spite of me!! Happy Birthday to both of you.
Lovely, Tammy. Really and truly.
Exactly. I wrote something similar for Mother’s Day…they never remember those countless hours you spent with them, playing, helping with homework, or reading to them. Oh well….it must have had an effect on them, they turned out well! Though like you, I do not know how my 27 year old survived me.
Awesome post which every mother can relate to! You seem pretty perfect to me, Tammy!
Baked at home or baked in the corner bakery, the cupcakes were filled with love, just as were the popsicle sticks. And that is all that matters. Nice post!
I felt the same way, then I learned that there is no such thing at a perfect Mom. It is perfectly fine to be imperfect!
What a salute to imperfection. As a single parent (and a first grade teacher), I always regretted the things I had missed: my daughter’s field trips, the chance as a “room mother” to participate in the parties, the chance to accompany my child to school on the first day and give her emotional support. But, reading your beautiful piece, I realize that parenting is much more than that. It is being ready to pick your third grader up at 9pm because she thought she could spend the night at a grind’s house but realized late that she really needed to be with her mom. It is picking her up in your arms when she falls on a nail on the side of the house and needs emergency stitches. It’s watching through tears as she walks across the stage to get her college degree. Your post has brought so many memories back for me. Thanks for writing it.
Absolutely beautiful! You are one of those who changed the mold! That, in itself is not easy. Happy birthday to your little girls as well. Her mom did good.
Tammy, I think you belong in the Mom Extraordinaire category! And I’m sure your Sweet Pea, Amanda does too. I think all of us moms can relate to some of the shortcuts…like gluing the felt poodle skirt. My son didn’t know for years that his cub scout badges were supposed to be anything but stapled on his shirt. 🙂 Oh well!
I’ve got me some pretty wicked wisdom clout. Sixty years and counting. I’ve been around the block a few times and I’ve been well endowed with the common sense God gave me. So sit down and let me tell you how it is. How it really is. You know that whole ‘patience is a virtue’ […]
Tammy ~ You effin’ ROCK!
I am going to memorize these to live by. Great advice for anyone and everyone. You never disappoint!
Sing it sister! I’m right there with the dump worry and guilt and don’t accept substitutes for real love!
Amen and hallelujah! The Universe will guide you but have to steer the ship and step on the gas!
YES! Great advice and too bad it takes us so long to realize all of this.
Most excellent advice. Fear is the stealer if joy and likely at the root of every bad decision I’ve ever made.
When I grow up I want to be EXACTLY like you Tammy! Thanks for the solid advice!
You have given some good reminders here! Thanks – and for making me smile while I read them!
Thanks for the reminder. Great advice everyone should try to apply to their own lives, especially us mid-lifers!
I got to thinking; how many kinds of sex are there? Oh, come on, you know you were wondering too! Let us begin. First time sex –It’s usually clumsy at best and unless you are a good communicator (screaming God’s name doesn’t count) then you will most likely not get the most satisfying result. That’s politically […]
Sexy post! In every sense of the word!! 😀
Well written 🙂
Oh Tammy – you are fearless !!!
The sacred ground of s-e-x and you made a masterpiece of it.
Such a talent for words you have. Do you read a lot or is this experience itself?
Gosh….the more I learn! Thanks Tammy.
Having had every single type of sex you’ve described here (The cheating sex wasn’t on my husband, though. I’ve never cheated on him.)I can confidently say that Epic True Love sex is by far and away the BEST sex a person can have. Being truly loved? It doesn’t get any better than that. Everything else is just imitation.
Makes me think about how many kinds of love there are. I bet that Google search won’t be quite as easy :)! You probably wouldn’t get as much traffic either…. State of the world!
I don’t talk about sex on the internet but did laugh at all your different categories and was able to think of few additional ones. (animal, teacher, oh the list just never ends).
My husband had a lung transplant and is still recovering. Why are you torturing me? LOL.
I’m glad I did all that crazy stuff when I was young and got it out of my system. I wouldn’t do some of that stuff now.
I believe you skipped empty nester sex…that would be when the kids are gone and every night is date night, and you don’t have to be quiet. (did I just say that with my outside voice?)
Agree that love trumps all!
You left out Charity Sex–those times when you feel you ought to/ have to… My term for those times I had sex with the husband because it kept him in a better mood or I felt like it was the right thing to do!
This is quite the sexy blog! I am definitely not going to be trying all of these! My favorite is -Ellen & David sex!
Wonderful post my dear, but you left out Old Age Sex- which requires darkened rooms, large beds, foreplay in the form of grilled meat served by 6pm, and copious amounts of the Weather Chanel- not that I know firsthand. I’m just surmising….
Waking up with the same man for almost 35 years is wonderful. We’ve had so many different kinds of sex!
Oh Baby… you are so singing my song!
Thanks for all the Sex Categories Tammy!
I love sex! And I REALLY love Emotionally Safe Sex! Yup, that’s where your wildest desires and fantasies can be experienced because you feel emotionally safe with your Darling and can “go there.” (I’ll have what she’s having!)
Whether it’s True Love, New Love, Been There and Done That Love… feeling a deep emotional and physical connection with a Beloved is one of the BEST side effects of Being Human.
MUAH & LOVE!!
Ooh, Tammy! You picked one of my favorite subjects of all time! In fact, I was so torn between which link to share on this post because I’ve recently addressed 2 of your many awesome options on my blog. (I know, you’re soooo shocked…LOL!)
Since everyone knows solo sex (and those who don’t are either lying or seriously deprived), I thought I’d share one on the Dominance and Submission element you alluded to in your “S & M sex”, though that, technically, stands for sado-masochism. As you know, the many elements of BDSM are often thrown in under the S & M flag, despite the fact that they’re not all the same, except for the power exchange that happens. 😀
Obviously, I LOVE when you go all sex talk on the world, which means I adore this post.
The very thing that helps my business to grow can single handedly destroy my personal relationships and reduce my real life to an isolated existence. Yup, I’m talking about technology. Smart phones, social media, texting, Instagram, selfies. The list is endless. While I LOVE what social media has done for my business, I HATE what […]
This really needed to be said !
While technology has helped civilization tremendously (cars, airplanes, medical surgeries, telephones (person to person live),I think this whole technology thing is going to destroy civilization (if we ever had it). The picture that comes to me is people seeing people and communicating on that level – not with a machine between them.
Ever heard of “boundaries”? We used to have them in day to day life. They worked. Draw the line somewhere please.
Note that the violence in the world did not end with ‘progress’. The solution is not based on person to person discussing and understanding and making some changes, it is based on who has the latest killer weapon AND the fastest tech communication.
I could go on,but I know you think I am off the wall.
Carry on, Tammy.
Tammy~Life is for living. It’s about flesh, blood, passion. The bits & bytes … they have their place, but they’re not the end-all, be-all. We who know a different world, where people met while out and about, striking up conversations, making friends (and even enemies), being a part of something REAL, need to encourage the generation(s) that follow the value of this. This post, sharing the wonderful video, you’re doing your part. Thank you!
The bits & bytes … well, take away the electricity, cell towers, and satellites and what have you got? A bunch of scrap metal. How many deep friendships have been forged around the camp fire? Cups of tea? Strolls around the block? Bringing dinners to those recuperating from surgery? Being there for a friend, to hold them, or even be with them when they cry. A cyber-hug just doesn’t get the job done.
PS: LOVE THE VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: “Smart phones & dumb people.” LOVE that quote from the video. Here’s rooting for intelligence making a comeback!
There are days when I think I’m addicted as well. Love that you caught yourself and truly enjoyed your trip.
Could have done without the Seussian rhyming – it felt forced at times and devalued the sentiment (at least for me) but the underlying message is spot on.
That said, it is possible to live a “good” life without shutting down. I check my email regularly – one might say religiously. I love posting and responding to friends’ posts on Facebook and Twitter but I don’t let it run my life. I like to share photos with (and bask in the compliments of) more people than might see them on the small display on the back of my camera (or iDevice). Research, (comparison) shopping, route mapping, looking up a store’s/restaurant’s phone number, customer feedback, etc have all benefited immeasurably with the advances of technology.
I’m not addicted and I don’t count as friends every single person I’ve “friended”. Know the distinction and you won’t be self-deluded. I don’t feel lonely despite having 400+ friends because I DON’T HAVE 400+ friends. I have but a handful. What I DO have is 400+ introspectives into the daily lives of people I find interesting (and possibly were once friends with but time and distance have driven a wedge between). If I feel lonely it’s not compounded by wondering why I feel lonely despite having 400+ friends.
Like everything else in life the key is moderation. It’s up to the adults to ensure the next generation isn’t sucking from the teat of technology but rather using it as the tool it was meant to be. Teach the next generation that a Facebook “friend”ing does not a friend make.
Look up if for nothing more than to experience the world around you.
Aaahhh… welcome to the digital free world and HIRLing… hanging out in real life. A delicious sensation, yes? So proud of you!!
A few months ago we turned our smart phones into dumb phones, and it was SO FREEING! We began connecting with the world around us… uninterrupted interactions and conversations … woo hoo!
Here’s my fave video about phone addiction… my teenage boys sent it to me… via Facebook, of course… sigh… http://youtu.be/OINa46HeWg8
LOVE YOU Tammy – MUAH!
worth more than 2 cents!
Right on, Tammy ! My little dog and I loved having you visit. How nice to have nothing disturb us…..ahhhhh, the sounds of quiet. x
I am so glad that I’m a technotard – because it’s so difficult for me to successfully use my SmartPhone – I’m free of that addiction – leaving room for so many other bad habits – staying in bed too long – letting piles of papers and notebooks pile up so I can’t find projects I’m working on without wasting time re-organizing…oooh how I’d prefer getting stuck on technology than my totally insular addiction…just sayin’
I couldn’t agree with you more. I am a troglodyte. I have the technological I.Q. of a carrot and would be much more at home in the 19th century. Your column reminds us that technology is a mixed blessing. Once I saw a woman texting so fast in an elevator, I foolishly asked, “How come you’re so fast?” She gave me a withering look and said, “I’m 23.” Burn. We are in an age of my cell phone will connect to your cell phone. Thanks for reminding us of the pleasure of a technology-free zone.
Like you, I’ve been guilty of letting technology take over my universe. I’ve had to learn to disconnect. These days if hubby and I are going to the movies, hanging out by the pool, or doing something social with a bunch of friends, I leave my phone behind. I know that if it’s with me the temptation will be too great to “check in.”
Social media has helped me meet some wonderful and supportive friends that I never would have probably met under other circumstances, but still. It’s important to refresh yourself. One of the best ways to do that is to spend some “me” time….which is impossible if you take the whole world with you via technology.
I love this article. I, too, am tired of seeing people who love their phones like it was a living thing. Fortunately, I’ve hated texting from the start, but my computer. Yeah. I have to work on that one.
Great video worth watching! A bit long, but the message is gold.
Yes, it’s true. I was a houseguest this weekend with no internet…which meant instead of checking blog stats (sneaking in of course), publicizing, looking at other blogs, and general tomfoolery, I was present. Sitting in the patio, for hours…just sitting and visiting, with my head up!
Joan Cooper - Ahhhh Tammy – I also long for the garden of Eden.
Why, why, why is life so hard? Have you seen the life size robots Japan has made that move, talk (in several languages) and can do a job ! They wear clothes beautifully and could also be models.
So we humans are indeed expendable. Kind of sad to make all this effort and be less than a robot.
Lois Alter Mark - I totally live by “It is what it is.” It’s too frustrating to try to figure out why something happened or why somebody acted the way they did, and the craziness seems to definitely be growing. So here’s a toast to the God of Smooth Going and the hopes that she’ll get back to work.
Cathy Chester - I hear ya, Tammy. I really do. But I have to say that this week, my charger bust from my MacBook. Being over 2 years old the warranty ran out. But, as luck would have it (and I’ve had none for the past 2 years!) the guy at the Apple Store GAVE me the charger for free. Yes, for free! It would have cost $80. Good PR, perhaps. But it put a skip back in my step for a bit.
Tammy - Hi Joan, YES, I have seen those robots. Super creepy if you ask me. I don’t think we are expendable but I do think that many humans carry less and less weight to their existence. Just saying. You, my dear, will NEVER be less than a robot!
Tammy - Hi Lois, I’m toasting right along with you. Am also thinking that if she wants to leave her job, I’d take it! And hold no prisoners! Buahahahahaa!
Tammy - Hi Cathy, I’d say you are a lucky duck and would like to rub up against you in hopes that some of it would rub off on me! It’s all so exhausting, and requires a never ending supply of coping skills that I don’t always possess. A for effort! Thanks for being here <3
Carol Cassara - Great idea and I don’t blame you a bit!
Helene Cohen Bludman - I’ll drink to that, Tammy! I’ll be thinking of you this weekend and hoping you have a wonderful time. Also, I do NOT trust my GPS. She has steered me wrong too many times.
Rosalind Warren - I always enjoy a good rant. Thanks!
Lee Lefton - Well, now that you’ve opened this door, yesterday and today have been banner days technology-wise. We couldn’t pay our online bills with Quicken, nor could we navigate the new taxation and revenue website (which is the fourth this year already (someone there obviously needs something to do), my new fangled insulin pump/continuous glucose monitor combo ($5K, thank God for insurance) doesn’t link up with my portable blood glucose meter, so either I’m crashing to earth or shooting to the moon blood sugar-wise (risky to my health ya think?), and here’s the coup de gras….my web designer sent an email saying that the portfolio on my site (all of my work!) no longer appears due to a needed software upgrade (that he’ll do for half-price of $1300! I told him thanks but no thanks. I’m now retired. I thought maybe Mercury was in retrograde but that doesn’t happen until October. I’d give my left you-know-what to go back to the days of little powder blue portable typewriters, rotary dial phones with no message machines and….well, I could go on and on but don’t have the time. I have to get on the phone with the insulin pump manufacturer for the umpteenth time in the past four days. Fortunately, they work around the clock. Does that tell you something about how many other people are having the same problem I am?????
Jacqueline Tierney DeMuro - Unplugging, yet recharging. Sounds great! Enjoy!
Maureen Musgrave Armentrout - And the attitude you get from the GPS thingies – I’m better off lost than being chastised by her!
Tammy - Helene, you made me laugh 🙂 I’ve always said that my GPS should have a male French voice. I think I would be far more forgiving if I was talked to sweetly with that fabulous accent! If there’s one thing I learned from watch the Twilight Zone … it’s that you can’t trust technology! Amen!
Sheryl Kraft - If I were in charge of the world, I’d help you, Tammy! And share some wine with you while we were plotting to take over…
Ellen Dolgen - You go girl! Have a fabulous weekend!
Tana Bevan - Tammy~
I LOVE both your sentiment (yours truly being techno-challenged and all can totally relate to techno-related frustration), and the way you say what you say.
“appliances that cost a fortune but feel no obligation to do their job” ~ Can totally see (in doodle form, of course) the annual meeting of the Happy Appliance Hindrance Association (HAHA). HAHA’s mission being to “Hinder as many people as possible while pretending to make their lives easier.”
“We shouldn’t have to go about our day trying to recover from those things that didn’t work, people that didn’t show, bullshit that shouldn’t have happened, and promises that were never kept.” ~ You’re right. We “shouldn’t.” But sadly, we do. All of us.
“global weather systems are as pissed off as I am,” ~ Then I’m going to do my best to stay on your good side because from where I stand, Mother Nature is thoroughly and completely pissed off.
Have a WONDERFUL, TERRIFIC, and MARVELOUS in wine country with your Special Somebody and Trusty Canine
Tammy - Thanks, Ellen. You do the same!!
Tammy - Hi Tana, the Happy Appliance Hindrance Association – hahahahaaa! Of course…it’s a conspiracy! I can see your marvelous doodles now! Leaving in a moment on our ‘Get Out Of Dodge” expedition. Very excited to UNplug big time. Let the chips fall where they may! Happy 4th to you, my friend. See you on the flip side!
Melissa Senecal - Have a safe and relaxing trip and we’ll try and keep the crazies at bay until you return!!!
Anne Tichauer - Ms. Bleck, as usual, your articles are a treat to read. Thank you.
Cynthia Greene Jordan - Happy days in the wine country. Raise a glass for me!. Love you little Tammy. BNIALW
Kitt Crescendo - My holiday coincides with my birthday, so I spent it relaxing with my hubby, my dogs, and our two best friends….by the pool and cooking out. We spent much of it just enjoying good food and good company. It was exactly what I needed to unwind.
Tammy - Thank you, sweet Anne. So delighted to know you are on the other end!! Love you!
Tammy - Sounds like you had the PERFECT holiday/birthday! Damn good for you! I, too, am relaxed after having spent a couple of days in wine country. Aside from the heat, it was pretty awesome! So happy to hear from you!