The Tom Cruise – Katie Holmes divorce has been plastered all over the pages of every magazine, Internet news pages and television shows. The marriage and the divorce all came down faster than you can say the words “train wreck”.
I have to confess that since the day Cruise was spotted jumping on Oprah’s couch declaring his love for the young Katie Holmes, well, I was already over it.
Having followed Cruise’s career since the early days of films like Risky Business, Rain Man and The Firm, I found it hard to not love the guy. He was, and is, superb at his craft. That smile, his vulnerability, and the acting chops of a veteran twice his age; he always managed to pull us into his characters and make us care what happened to them. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for real life.
There is something so cocky, so surreal about this man that we are always left to wonder; does he kick puppies and lock up his wife when the cameras are turned off?
The Church of Scientology has played a big part in his accepted ‘weirdness’ but so has his arrogance and self appointed superiority. Who can forget the time he publicly chastised Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants after the birth of her child, advising her that she should rely on vitamins for her depression? Or when Tom called Matt Lauer ‘glib’ on national television on the Today Show? Who did he think he was anyway, God? Evidently.
The orchestrated split by Katie Holmes looks much more like an escape plan than a divorce. With 3 different attorneys in place in 3 different states, utilizing throw away cell phones to make calls, and striking when her husband was filming in Iceland; it all amounted to pure genius. She went from being the innocent girl on Dawson’s Creek to being a hero for unhappily married women everywhere.
The fact that she got what she wanted faster than butter melts on a high flame causes us to wonder what she had over Tom. Whatever it is, it must be a doosie (I know it’s a made up word but just go with it). She not only received sole custody of their only child but is said to have been awarded a 10 million dollar settlement and a tidy little property to boot. Not bad after 5 years of marriage. Where can I sign up? Hell, I put up with a lot worse for a lot longer to get a lot less. And I do mean a LOT less (Yes, I know. My bitterness is showing).
Control issues, Church of Scientology issues, and the alleged gay issue have surfaced for years and swarm around Cruise like moths to light. Still, nothing has been proven or even addressed openly by anyone who might be in the know.
It all leads to speculation, gossip, finger pointing and a whole lot of silence from the parties involved. Fear and confidentiality agreements generally guarantee discretion, as can a healthy bribe. Uh, I mean, pay off, no, I mean settlement.
The bigger question might be; why do we give a damn? When it comes down to it, it’s really none of our business and has absolutely no affect on our everyday lives.
So what’s the big intrigue with celebrity divorces?
I have a sneaky suspicion that we like to see rich people fail, flamboyantly happy people fall into despair and the infallible become fallible. We usually don’t have to wait too long. Welcome to the dark side of humanity.
In celebrity-ville, there have been very few that the public embraced and rooted for. Judy Garland and Marilyn Monroe come to mind. We were hoping that they would find their way out of depression and drug abuse, find true love and settle down. Sadly, it didn’t happen.
Watching Cruise and Holmes implode was a probable inevitability. My advice to Katie is to be careful what you wish for. I hope that she gets some much needed privacy and has a good investment banker. As far as Mr. Cruise is concerned, I would suggest he shop for his next bride in the halls of Scientology. Make it easy on all of us.
It has all been interesting to watch … for about a day.
After that, I’m ready to trade TomKat in for a dog.