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If kindness is king, why does rudeness rule?

I’ve had one of those weeks.

You know the kind; where you just as soon run someone over as look at them.

It seems at every turn I have encountered the foul mouthed, holier than thou, the rules don’t apply to me, individual. If there were pills for patience I would have overdosed.

Let me re-group and recap. If you are the person that refused to put your 100 lb. dog on a leash in a public park and then yelled at me when I moved your dog because he was bothering my 11 lb. pooch while she was pooping, get a clue. You broke the law, not me. I wanted to ask you if you kiss your mother with that foul mouth of yours but you left too quickly.

If you are the person who drove behind me as I was patiently waiting for a parking spot only to zip into the vacated spot yourself and then flip me off and advise me that I’m too old and too slow, I’d like to share with you that Karma has a way of catching up with jerks like you. Of course those people who leave messages on your windshield with red lipstick are only there to help you learn a lesson until it does.

And if you were the person who cut in front of a long line of people waiting to order food and then snickered not so quietly “you snooze you lose”, I’d like to have a sit down with your mother and tell her what a wonderful job she did not do raising you.

It seems that when you venture out these days you need to be prepared for verbal warfare, armor yourself for confrontations and be ready to look the other way unless you want to duke it out. Utter nonsense.

I’m 59, not old by my standards. I’m a good driver, a conscientious pet owner, a polite citizen and a kind hearted person. Daily assaults of rudeness damper my otherwise sweet spirit and anger a gentle soul. I try to keep it together so that I don’t end up on the news at 11. I figure it’s a good goal to have.

I’m not sure where all the nice, polite, law abiding people went, but I miss them terribly. So does the world.

Recently I was commissioned to write an article on a gifted talent for the ‘San Diego Jewish Journal’. I knew a little about the celebrity and was thrilled and excited to interview her. I have to confess that some of my past celebrity experiences have been less than awesome. Egos are often big and consideration of others often small. I was so unbelievably delighted when my subject turned out to be graciously and genuinely kind, smart, caring and giving. What?

My time with Carol Connors brought me back to the world of manners, humor and simply put; awe. If everyone were like her, we would be living in utopia. In a sea of rudeness she is the ship that saves us from our hating the world attitude.

I was reminded that a good attitude, a happy spirit, a positive outlook and a determined eye on all things good were key factors for happiness and success. Duh?!

So I learned (for about the umpteenth time) that good can and does overcome evil, that kindness rules over rudeness and that we can get past the ill mannered idiots if we keep a sound mind, a good heart and a hell of a sense of humor. Check!

That’s not to say that I will be allowing you to push the limits of the law or decency around me without retribution. A leopard can’t change its spots. But I will keep in mind that you are but a pimple on the butt of goodness. So there!

I invite you to read the feature article in this month’s SDJJ at and meet Carol Connors up front and personal. You’ll be glad you did. Rather than leave your customary remarks in my comment section, I’d LOVE it if you would visit the above site and give me your two cents on the SDJJ article.  That would be awesome!

Until next week, stay calm, keep cool and whether you’re a man or a woman, know that red lipstick can be one of life’s greatest accessories.

That’s all I’m saying on the subject (grin).


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Rick Gualtieri - I’m not a big proponent of violence, but let’s face facts; there are some people in this world for whom a good solid a**kicking would probably do a world of good.

Christi - Sometimes you just gotta go FRIED GREEN TOMATOES?
[Evelyn Couch (Kathy Bates) is cut off in a parking lot]
Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it, lady, we’re younger and faster!
[Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times]
Girl #1: What are you *doing*?
Girl #2: Are you *crazy*?
Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.

Lori - Pimple on the butt of goodness!! Lol!! Great article!

Tammy - Rick, I couldn’t agree more. I have a list; a long list. Thanks for the read and the post!

Tammy - Christi, I’m still laughing! I remember that movie oh so long ago. One of my favorites. Oh, if I just could have been Evelyn in that single moment in time. So good to hear form you, thanks for the post!

Tammy - Lori, I call ’em as I see ’em. Glad you got a kick out of it. Thanks for posting your approval. It means a lot!

Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen - Thank you Tammy, I needed that! I thought I was the only one noticing the end of civility in our culture.

The way I see it, the best explanation is those experiments way back that showed that overpopulation in ANY species leads to competition and conflict.

Did you see this lately:
Dear Karma: I have a list of people you missed!

Tammy - Laura Lee, no, you are not alone in that assessment. If only the strong survive then I better get my butt to the gym! Happy you enjoyed the read, thanks ever so for posting!

Mel Glenn - A needed column. Speaking of movies, I remember John Lithgow saying in “Terms of Endearment” “You’re rude; you must be from New York.” I think it is a national question. We have forgotten civility and manners. You are there
to remind us of our hopefully better natures.

Tammy - Hi Mel, we are all in this together, aren’t we? Your civility affects mine and vice-a-verse. Yes, it certainly does appear that manners have left the building. Unfortunately kindness went with them. Pity for all of us. So very glad you appreciated the read and came here to say so. Thanks for that!

Kellie - Tammy
I am with ya on losing it over rudeness. I think too many parents these days forgot to be a parent and teach manners to their kids. Too busy trying to be best friends to their children.

Maureen - So ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ – and we need more Evelyns in the world! Thank you Tammy, for the wisdom and smiles!

Tammy - Maureen, the pleasure is all mine. Never a dull moment! Thanks for being here!!

Tammy - Kellie, agreed! Discipline, boundaries and love make good parenting foundations. Add to that compromise, steadfast solidarity and knowing when to be either of those. It’s a tough job, I know. But when you don’t do it, society suffers and people get hurt. Cuz next time I’m likely to run someone over. Kidding….I think. Always a pleasure having you here!

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