First off, I’m so VERY SORRY for those duplicate posts that were sent out to you in the last couple of days. The cyber gods were clearly angry with me and I’m hoping the problem is fixed. A Christmas Post in March? That’s like a snowball in August. Why, I never!
Now …. I’m into my second week of coping with having one leg in a cast and navigating a 2 story home. It’s not been pretty. Lots of tears of frustration, and massive quantities of Breyers chocolate chip ice-cream, have given way to resignation. I’m at the “shut up and enjoy the view” point of no return.
I’ve relented to my stubborn self and ordered up a hospital bed for the living room. That way I won’t kill myself on the stairs. It also means that the kitchen is just a scooter ride away and I won’t starve to death when I’m home alone for hours. This is the part where I mention that I could probably live off the fat of the land for at least 2 weeks. Okay, 4 weeks. Fine. A half a year. Whatever (eye roll).
I’ve got it all. Everything to make this situation bearable. The gizmos, the gadgets, the loving man, the good for nothing dog and the 2 bossy cats. That’s quite an arsenal. Except I’m pretty sure the cats are fuzzy saboteurs. Anyone who owns one knows that stairs are a hazard to navigate when they are around. Thanks for nothing, you devious little fur-balls.
I generally have a good attitude and sunny disposition. But I’ve got to tell you, this stupid foot thing is wreaking havoc on my Pollyanna outlook. I keep trying to overcome but get nothing but failure and exhaustion. I get points for persistence but demerits for not accepting my limitations. Bah!
My current circumstance has brought me to understand that there is only so much you can do to manage any situation until all that is left is surrender.
I happen to suck at surrender. It smacks an awful lot like losing. But, as life would have it, surrender serves itself up to be my only choice. I know there is a lesson here somewhere.
If surrender saves me, if it makes things in my life more bearable, happier, easier, why am I so against it? Sometimes I just need to get out of my own way. People who are accustomed to doing things themselves have a hard time leaning on people. Depending on someone else is an art form I’m still learning. I can’t say I’ve gone gracefully into the fold.
I’ve finally realized that it’s okay that I can’t do what I thought I could. It’s okay to be upset about it. But it’s not okay to keep trying until my head is comatose from beating it against the brick wall of my stubbornness (not my best trait).
When I was a kid, my mom and I would have a yearly road trip to visit friends in Las Vegas. It was all so exciting until it wasn’t. An hour into it I would be nagging: Are we there yet?, I need a bathroom, I’m hungry, tired, cold or whatever. That’s when my mother would turn around and tell me to be quiet and enjoy the view. I didn’t get it. View of what? Cactus? Trees? Railroad signs?
I get it now. And I’m taking her advice. I’m shutting up about all the ridiculous perils of being a one footed scooter fiend in a two footed world, and I’m just going to enjoy the view.
My view is lots of friends, fabulous foods, good conversation, and delicious wines, the slowing down of life, naps with the pets, being waited on, reading, and the catching up with long distance friends from long ago. And, of course, writing.
That’s a hell of a view, and I’ll take it! Wish me luck on the shutting up part.
As you can see…..my bed is a bit crowded.