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The Bucket List

While I slowly approach my 60th birthday, I figure I’ve still got plenty of play left in the game.

But the way life has been going lately, with disasters running amok, earthquakes, tornado’s, floods, random crazies with a high power rifles not to mention the texting driver, well, it’s just not the sure thing it used to be.

The thing is, we just don’t know. So I thought it was time to make my Bucket List, to review the things I want to do before I kick it. And so I did.

I want to climb the Sydney Harbor Bridge in Australia. This is huge for someone who is afraid of heights. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to let my fear take this dream away from me before I meet The Reaper. Oh, hell no. I want to be up there, synched into my little bridge climbing suit, clamped onto the rail and, in all likelihood,  puking over the side of the top. Yup, it’s my dream and I’m going to live it.

I want to visit the three “I’s”, Italy, Ireland and Israel. I want to spend some time there, not rush around from vineyard to castle to ruin. I want to take it slow, drink good wine, eat good food and make good friends. The idea of drunkenly wandering the streets with my belly full of sweet wine, warm bread and local cheese as I greet small children and little dogs kind of makes my heart sing. I’m afraid that’s about as risqué as I get, so I’m good with it. I want to make memories that will cradle me into my old age and make me smile in my sleep.

I’ve always wanted to have a steamy one night stand in an elevator. I’m not sure what movie I saw that put that image in my head, but I curse the day. Of course, it would have been the thing to do when I had a young body, no cellulite and was about forty pounds lighter. If you know me at all, this desire is completely out of character for me. I’m not holding my breath for this one. Committed love is all I am capable of and I count my blessings that I have it in my life. Still, maybe if he wore a fake mustache, changed his name to Pablo and I don a blonde wig, wear four inch high heels (which I would desperately try not to fall off of), maybe, just maybe it could still happen. Hope is good thing to have.

I want to have more parties. I used to have them all the time when I was in my twenties and thirties. Then life got serious, money was tight and parties were usually with Mickey, Pluto and the Little Mermaid. Parties are fun and I miss them. I want to have a couple of big parties a year. Where people dress outrageously, the food is decadent, the liquor superb and the live music won’t allow your bones to sit in the chair. You would think this one would be easy, but with work, schedules, traveling, holidays, blah, blah, blah, there is always an excuse for reason and frugality. Damn reason and frugality! They are both over rated.

I’d love to learn Yoga. To be serene, and have a “special place” in my mind to go to when the world gets a little rough. The last time (about fifteen years ago) I attended a Yoga class I was asked to leave as my whining was disturbing the other participants. Harsh. If you can’t whine and complain while you are stretching and contorting your body in an inexplicable way, when can you? Still, the essence of Yoga has always allured me. And I mean to give it another chance, this time without all the bitching.

I want to ride my bike more often. Weekly. Maybe even daily. Okay, maybe not daily, let’s not get crazy, but I miss the days when I would jump on my bike, ride five blocks to the store to pick up a loaf of bread and fruit and ride home. Bike riding connects us with our neighborhoods, passing dogs, beautiful trees and blue skies. I’ve spent years getting in my air conditioned car to make that same five block drive and I’m not the better for it.

I want to do crafts with my daughter (still), play games with my friends and go to a lot more book clubs. These are the things that lower our blood pressure, calm our souls and remind us how good life is when we value the things we inexplicably call the “little things”.

I’m still pondering what additions I will make to this list, but for now, I’m pretty satisfied. Still, I do wonder how it compares with other people’s lists and the things that matter to them/you.

I’ve noticed that my list is a combination of things I’ve never done and things I miss doing. Happiness is funny that way. It lingers in the past and lurches towards the future.

All I have to do is make it happen. That, and not kick the bucket until I do.


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cheryl - Hey Girl, How is everything going???????? Would love to join you as you accomplish your “bucket list”——–except the one-night stand. My list includes spending a season in the countryside of France and riding the Orient Express——–of course that requires the appropriate wardrobe!!!!!!!! Speaking of books, etc.———Have you seen Magic Mike, raunchy but Matthew McConahey does not disappoint——-also have you read Gone Girl——-quite a story. By the way, when IS your birthday——–I thought in July. love your posts!!!!!!!!!

Mel Glenn - Love your list. My son has done Harbour Bridge, my wife is in Israel, and I’ve always wanted to see Ireland. A liaison win an elevator would give me a lift and parties are welcome; I do ride my bike. Your column is important because everyone needs a bucket list

Lee Lefton - Tammy,

I want to be the first to comment. I love this and it really hits home. All I have to do is turn on the TV and I’m given a hundred reasons why the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Where the —- is the good news! I’m trying to distance myself from that and creating a bucket list and beginning to live it is a much more positive thing to do.

One short story about yoga. (Actually, it’s not that short so I apologize up front). When I lived in LA, there was a studio around the corner. I was usually the only guy in the class and being highly inflexible, there was a lot of grunting and groaning coming from me.

One day, this cute little woman from India who was in her seventies and considered a yoga guru (or guress), came to teach the class. She had people doing unbelievable contortions. When it was time to do headstands, I quietly slunk out of the room and shut myself in the bathroom. After about five minutes, I figured the lesson would be over. I opened the door and there, smiling, was the teacher. She reached out and took my hand and walked me back into the classroom where she led me over to a wall and gently helped me get into a headstand then backed away. Amazingly, I stayed upright!

Moral of the story. If I can do yoga, anyone can. So just go and sign up for a class.

P.S. Frugality is overrated and gets in the way of us fulfilling our dreams. We’re going to Israel next April and have already put down a deposit.

Wanna join us?

Much love,
You know who

Tammy - Hi Cheryl, so happy to hear from you. It’s going good, thanks for asking. Hmmm, I may have to snatch that one item of your bucket list as riding the Orient Express would be a tremendous thrill. Being an Agatha Christi buff for over 30 years, I can’t even imagine how exciting that would feel. No on Magic Mike, yes on Gone Girl – loved the read, disliked the ending, and my birthday is July 15th. Thanks for popping in and sharing. By the way, if you need anyone to carry your luggage while traveling the countryside of France, give me a holler!

Tammy - Hi Mel, I LOVE your summation! You know how to say a lot in few words. A wonderful skill set to be sure. So, what is the wife doing in Israel without you? Yes, I’m nosy. So, ride your bike to the airport, meet her in Israel, fly home by way of Ireland and leave the bridge for another day. Sounds good to me. I love the idea of a bucket list, as it promotes planning, vision and the stark realization that we won’t be here forever. And we won’t. Yes, I agree, we all need a bucket list. But more importantly, we all need to act on them. SO happy to have you here. Thanks for the read and the post!

Beatrice M. Hogg - Great list, Tammy! My list would include witnessing the Tour de France during the L’Alpe du’Huez stage with the 21 hairpin turns, having a one night stand with a rock star, driving a very expensive, very fast car for one day, seeing the Great Pyramid in Egypt, take bass guitar lessons again, and having a book on the New York Times bestseller list!

I hope that everyone gets to realize some of their dreams!

Tammy - Hi You Know Who (yes I do!), THANK YOU for sharing your Yoga story. That was awesome!! I’m still laughing and wishing my instructor would have been half as kind. I think mine was raised a Nazi (please, people, no pro Nazi letters!) and never would have acted so caring. So, you really think I can do Yoga? Well, I’m going to give it another ‘go’ this summer. Yoga prayers appreciated. You’re right (as usual); frugality absolutely gets in the way of our dreams. Utter nonsense. We can be financially responsible and still provide our souls the experience it needs to flourish. This is a lesson I’ve only just learned in recent years. Israel in April? Wow. Color me envious. Do I want to join you? Are political TV ads annoying? Hell yeah. Can I? Not at all sure. But I am sure that I appreciate the invitation! Much love back to you along with a warm thank you for being here.

Tammy - Hi Beatrice, Clearly you are heads above me in the area of adventure. Your list is thrilling and I’m feeling a tad boring just reading it. A rock star? Why didn’t I think of that? Yes, I am absolutely stealing two of your items because they are so awesome and I need them on my list. A NY bestseller and the Pyramids of Egypt. I simply don’t know how they escaped me! I’m going to leave the rock star to you, unless he is in an elevator, Italian, hugely sensitive and wildly erotic, in which case, all bets might be off. So very wonderful to have you here. I appreciate the read and the post!

Susan S - A bucket list….guess I have thought about it, but have done zero…must start the list and yep, act on it ! Hmmmm…will begin by looking for Julio !!!!

With your list….yikes…you’ve given me hope ! Love you girlfriend…

Tammy - Hi Susan, Maybe you and Julio and me Pablo can escape for a weekend together in the Virgin Islands (there is irony there somewhere). Yup, let’s start thinking about it because while we are still fabulous, we ain’t getting any younger. I expect a full report! So wonderful seeing you here, it’s been a while and I’ve missed you.

Beatrice M. Hogg - Tammy, I am happy to share two of my items with you! My cousin died of AIDS in 1994, he was a world traveler, but he never got to take his dream trip to Egypt. I want to go someday for him. I don’t know if I’ll ever been on the bestseller list, but today I am in the New York Times ( in an article about long term unemployed persons. As far as the rock star – I prefer them tall and blond unless Lenny Kravitz is available! And I’m not sure about an elevator – at my age, I may need more time!

Marilyn - Dearest Tammy, my bucket list is that we can enjoy the fore mentioned together!! Just stop and smell the roses…boy am I trying!!

Tammy - Hi Marilyn, That would be a done deal! Well, except for the one thing. My friends know that there are two things in life that I NEVER share. They are: M&M’s and my man (not necessarily in that order). Other than that, it would be grand! When do we start? Thanks for the post – appreciate hearing from you.

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