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The Naked Truth

Few people would pose naked for a magazine cover.  I wouldn’t. Wait … if they paid me a million bucks, I would give it some serious thought.

We all have a price.  Just ask Lindsay Lohan.

Most of us would do pretty much anything for those we love. Sacrifice for love is an act of nobility and honor.

What about when we do it for the money?

I have to ask myself: how many times have I sold myself out for money? A lot.

Every time I took a job that was beneath me but the money was good, I sold out.

Each time I worked for disrespectful jerks but the money was good, I sold out.

Doing jobs that went against what I believed in, for the money, was a major sell out.

I didn’t know then what I know now. That selling out was valiant.

I always thought that agreeing to a job just for the money made me a bit of a loser. Where was my integrity? I can tell you where it wasn’t. It wasn’t sitting in the dark or going hungry or doing without. It was providing for my family.

I was the one who was willing to eat crow so my kid could go to camp, have a good Christmas or go on that field trip. I was the one who took crap jobs to keep the utilities on and the mortgage paid. I was the one who sold out to keep everything else together.

I’m no hero, that’s for sure. But I think sometimes we just need to suck it up. I can guarantee you that when you meet a 75 year old waitress; that wasn’t her life plan. Don’t pity her; admire her. She is getting it done and taking care of herself the best she can for the moment. How can doing what she needs to do to live be a sell out? It isn’t.

I recently ran into a friend working as a retail clerk. For most of her life she was a topnotch highly paid professional. In these precarious times she found herself without work. She was embarrassed to be seen selling perfumes and cosmetics. I was embarrassed for her. She explained to me that her husband also lost his job and they needed the health insurance. It was all she could get for the moment. On my drive home I thought about how much I admired her for being able to swallow her pride in order to keep her family insured and a roof over their heads. Some would say she sold herself short. I say she is being brave, smart and humble. I’ve always known she was the former but I have a strong hunch she is new to the world of humble. Eating a piece of humble pie is good for all of us. Best we remember where we came from as we look to where we are going. Judgment has no place in the real world anymore, yet most of us can’t resist. Too bad, as pity little good comes from it.

If you have to depend on social programs that’s okay, they are there to offer a helping hand. I’ve collected unemployment and for a brief time in my life I also collected food stamps. Neither was awesome but it was, as I reminded myself every stinking day, only temporary. And therein lies the rub. Never become so complacent in your situation that you never change it.

Selling out for the greater good is a noble act. But it should be a short term deal. Living up to our own expectations, following our own dreams is what we need to get back to a soon as possible. I try to keep my eye on the prize; and as life has shown me, the prize has rarely been money.

And so, if you find yourself on the wrong end of your self esteem because you feel you have sold out in a big way, I urge you to reconsider and look at the big picture. Chances are pretty good you’re doing the right thing for right now.

Everything has a price and we will almost always pay it. The real question is: is it worth it?

I can tell you this: you paying me a million bucks to pose nude for a magazine cover, definitely not worth it.

That being said, I’m open to all offers.

 

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Judith Briles - Suck it up is what many of us have had to do to keep dog-paddling. Pride doesn’t pay the bills or put food on the table. The mirror is critical…and so is the assessment and re-assessment. Especially today. Most of the jobs people lost … they are not lost jobs, they are GONE jobs. As is past tense. They aren’t coming back. Looking for the same old, same old is yesteryear’s script. What will be new, is mostly like NEW–so suck it up while you prepare, learn and grown into the NEW … the next, next whatever …

hmmm…the posing nude part—how much of that fruit from the Calendar Girls can we use?

Kellie - Ms. Tammy
Bravo! You said it perfectly. Humble pie … not enough of us have it! This year should bring us all to our knees to eat a little plate of our chosen flavor.

Tammy - Judith, you’ve got that right. Sucking up is the new norm and I’m just happy to be getting by. By some peeps standards I have sold out. By mine, I’m surviving the best way I can. Terms and conditions have all changed. So has the outlook. You hit the nail on the head when you said ‘prepare, learn and grow into the new’. I’ve learned simply not to look back but only to take those lessons learned with me into the great unknown. I think it will continue to be a wild ride. Re the posing nude … I’m going to need some pretty hefty, healthy fruit or some mighty big feathery fans. Just saying. Thanks for being here and for posting. It was awesome!

Tammy - Kellie, Humble pie is on order for many of us I’m afraid. I think we all know people who could use a healthy dose of humble. It’s too bad that people forget what it’s like in the struggle of things. We all have our ups and downs, I would just like not to be judged by either. Of course, I am my worst critic. Thanks for posting!

Joan Cooper - You really know how to hit the nail on the head.

Wait a minute – if they wanted me badly enough to offer a million – I would NEGOTIATE. I would like beautiful well placed veils over me, and candlelight only. Maybe some other things if I think of it.

Remember we were created as a work of art – well, at least I tend to think of it that way. Eve was bare and changed the planet. Nothing is black or white.

Your points about work and jobs is very very well taken.

joan

Tammy - Joan, you are too funny. Of course, candle light is a must. And negotiation is always on the table, but I doubt the offers will come pouring in. Thanks for reading and thanks even more for posting. Love having you here!

Darbie - Beautifully said Tammy-! Again! Yes we can all use a good kick in the a.. sometimes to realize what really matters in life. One of the happiest person I ever knew, owned very little material wise and was probably better off than most. 😉 And just for the record- expect those offers to start pouring in!

Cynthia - Oh such true words again…pride shows its face to us in different ways…someone close to me is realizing it slowly and it warms my heart. I love you Tammy.

Tammy - Cynthia, everything comes to those who wait. But it appears you already know that. I love you too (bnialw). Happy Hanukahh Cynthia. Good things are coming your way. Thanks for being here … it means a lot.

Tammy - Darbie, Yes, a kick in the pants generally comes when we are not looking. Funny how that works. Money matters, that’s for sure, but without it I would still be every bit as rich. That’s no lie. I’ve learned from the best. And about those offers … I’m sitting by the phone but I’m not quitting my day job. So wonderful hearing from you, it’s great to know you are on the other side of my little blog. Thanks for posting!

Scott Morgan - Nice. Someone once told me “enjoy it when you can, deal with it when you have to.” No work is beneath anyone.

Peter Bartkiw - Hi Tammy, Your comments are so honest! I truly appreciate your being so candid ! A great posting ! I have a brother who is very, very set financially ! However , he does not seem happy at all ! I truly feel for him,and wish him real happiness ! It,s really bizarre but i,m starting to believe that money does not buy happiness! It is a good thing that i,m becoming cognizant of this , as it would be truly scary to see me naked period! Yikes! Peace, Peter!

Tammy - Scott, I don’t know who said that but they are a genius! I WILL enjoy it while I can and only deal with it when I have to! And for those who don’t know that no work is beneath anyone, well, good luck. Karma has a way of teaching just that. Thanks for posting, great having you here, Scott.

Tammy - Peter, you are too funny; so awesome to hear from you. I know what you mean; money is important, no doubt. But it takes many of us a lifetime to learn that it won’t buy you happiness. I know plenty of miserable millionaires. Harvard did a study once that showed us that buying big tag items provides a substantial thrill that lasts for about 6 months. After that, you need to buy something else to keep the feeling going. Of course, true happiness is love based. Love of self, love of child, love of friends, family and that special someone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always pursuing the almighty dollar. I appreciate my creature comforts and look forward to the security it brings me. But I know that money won’t keep me warm at night, dry my tears or hold me tight. I think it’s all about keeping things real. Easier said than done. Oh, and by the way, let me know if you ever pose naked – I could do a blog about it! Thanks for posting, love having you here.

cheryl - Tammy
There is certainly no way I would pose naked—for the amount of money they would be willing to pay me——ha.

Loved your comments on dealing with what life deals us. I’ve heard the quote somewhere, “Do what you love and the money will follow”———or not. It really shouldn’t matter. Also, there are those who work to live——-and those who live to work. I feel that I am a “work to live” as my time outside work is most valuable to me—-I would say my husband is the opposite. He is still looking for a job because that is what makes him feel valuable.

Happy holidays and travels!!!!!!!!!!

Tammy - Cheryl, I’m with you. I’m pretty sure I posed naked when I was one. The choice wasn’t mine. I wrote this particular post because it sometimes feels to me that I sell out. Sell out on my dreams, my aspirations and my abilities. But then I remember that I do whatever it takes to get the bills paid and the job done. The dreams, aspirations and abilities are all still there. It’s hard to remember that these days. It has been said that men equate their value by what they bring into the household; women equate their value by making one. I think I would have to agree. Happy to be home and to have your posts to read.

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