Fat for starters. As my dear sister reminds me, I’m pushing 60 (she is such a sweetheart). Weight comes on quicker, goes off slower and distributes itself with a mind of its own. Oh yeah, I’m definitely afraid of fat.
Stupid people with important jobs. There should be a standard rule that if you are a doctor, nurse, real estate mogul or a big shot lawyer, you should be smart. Many aren’t. Some of the smartest people I know are not credentialed professionals and some of the stupidest people I know are. I’m scared to death that I’m going to end up trusting one of these morons with my life one day. Yes, I’m definitely afraid of stupid people.
Hair in my food. There is something about seeing or tasting a hair in my food that completely and utterly freaks me out. It gets worse. If I see a strand of wet hair clinging to my sink, I want to jump up on the counter and scream “Kill it!!”. Clearly I have fear issues with unattached hair.
Bigots. The thing about bigots is they are so convinced that they are right. They are often very articulate and have a personality that wins people over to their side. Bigots make sense out of hate and present their solutions towards the destruction of someone else. The leaders usually have nice smiles and pleasing mannerism. Their followers are just a bunch of droid hoodlums carrying sticks. I have a healthy fear of bigots.
Pit Bulls. I see the sweetest looking Pit Bulls in the park playing with little children and rolling in the grass all sweet and cuddly, but all I can think of when I pass one on the street is that they are about to rip my throat out and I will be on the news at 11. I see a Pit Bull – I cross the street and get my mace out. I’m not going down without a fight.
Spindly legged spiders. Tiny little spiders don’t seem to bother me much. But if I see one of the spindly legged spiders methodically climbing up my wall, I’m reaching for the car keys. I used to keep a can of Raid in the house until, one day, I sprayed it on the spider and he jumped two feet into my face. I thought I was going to die! I adopted two cats to take care of the spiders, but instead, they just bring mice into the house. I can’t get rid of the cats because now I love them and, if truth be told, they are the bosses of me. Luckily, I’m not afraid of mice.
Politicians. There isn’t one out there that I trust or that I think is in it for the common good. Each and every one of them has a self serving agenda. Many that hold office also hold a tremendous amount of power and influence. Every time I have trusted one, I’ve lost benefits and paid more in taxes. If I ran my business the way they all run the country, I’d be behind bars. My feeling is if you don’t fear politicians you might be a blithering idiot.
Clowns. I really have no explanation for this, but I can honestly tell you that I never go near them, I don’t like them and there is something about them that creeps me out big time. Watching that movie years ago called ‘It’ doesn’t help matters much. I’ve passed this endearing fear on to my daughter. I’m sure she will thank me one day when we read about a crazed mass murdering clown in the news.
Aside from these fears I’m just your normal red blooded American girl who likes bubble baths (wearing a hair net), old movies (no clowns!), lovely strolls in the park (with mace and Raid), eating from the local hot dog stands (watching for hair) who enjoys watching the stupid people walking their Pit Bulls while they talk to bigots about politicians.
Yup, I’m just your average girl.