I’ve got me some pretty wicked wisdom clout. Sixty years and counting. I’ve been around the block a few times and I’ve been well endowed with the common sense God gave me.
So sit down and let me tell you how it is. How it really is.
You know that whole ‘patience is a virtue’ crap? Highly overstated. Patience has been known to be a huge buzz kill when it comes to seeking out our own happiness. Yes, yes, I’ve heard the old adage that good things come to those who wait, but from this side of the fence I’ve seen way too many people meet their demise while waiting for “someday” to materialize. Is that how you want to go out … waiting? I don’t think so. Be in a hurry to be happy, to achieve your goals. Buy that boat, take that cruise to Europe, and write that book. You’re not being patient, you’re just being stupid. Every day you live is one less day that you will. It’s not rocket science.
Worrying about what people think of you has caused many of us to ramble along instead of running amok. Amok beats rambling any day of the week. Bowing to other peoples judgments is a sure fire way to miss out on our destiny. I have often lived by the creed of not giving a rat’s butt what the world, family, co-workers, lovers and friends might think of me. When seeking acceptance stopped being important to me life became so much more fun. Accept yourself, because, my darlings, no one else’s opinion will ever matter as much as yours.
Here’s a bulletin for you: we’re all afraid of something. Every single one of us. Fear is a monger that robs us from trying for all those things we deserve. Fear of not being good enough, smart enough, and fear of failing is something that stays with you throughout your life. The fear of what-ifs plague and dull our senses into submission. I don’t think that fear ever really goes away. We just have to shelve it until we prove it wrong. Happiness can never live where fear rules. As my father would always ask me: “who’s the boss of you? You or your fear”. Awesome question.
I’ve never understood where guilt comes from. Guilt is often confused with having a conscience. Not even close. Having a conscience keeps up in tow with what is right in the world. Guilt keeps us tied to feelings of inadequacy and misplaced responsibility and blame. As I would tell my kidlet when she was 5 and took a bad tumble; shake it off. We were not put on this earth to feel inadequate. We are here to soar, to share and to be kind to ourselves and others and … to be happy. Ignore guilt’s inane ramblings. It is a cruel trick to the soul and crippler to the wings that carry us.
Doubt is a lethal bitch. If you harbor doubt you can bet the going will always be uphill. Doubting our abilities, worth, intellect and character is a sure fire way to sign up for a life of resignation. Like everyone else, I suffer from occasional doubt. These days you will find me bitch slapping the hell out of that emotion. I have no time for it and I don’t easily suffer those who do.
Love has kept many a person miserable. If the one you’re with doesn’t make your heart sing, hold you up when you are down, believe in you when you have stopped, and stand by you when all odds are against you, love will never be enough. Finding love is easy. Finding love with the right person is a whole other thing. Staying with someone you love for love’s sake is a suicide mission and will never render you happiness. Being with one who returns your love can make or break a life. Learning the difference is an epic challenge.
It’s been said that rich people are always happier. Not true. There are more happy poor people than there are happy rich ones. Of course, given the option, we would all like the chance to be miserably rich. At least long enough to know better. And have a yacht. And a butler. But I digress.
For me, happiness is a good man, 2 bossy cats, 1 sassy dog, a career I love, and a lifetime of promise. Because I’ve earned it.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
By the way … neither should you.